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"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."
-Leo Tolstoy
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"Hello, wonderful amazing fantastic big brother of mine." Vanessa sang as she walked into my room.
She had come over a few hours ago and had been watching tv downstairs. My mom was at work and with school starting up again soon Mr.Schindler, my mom's fiancé and my old art teacher, was usually gone during the day.
I was finally starting to get used to having Mr.Schindler around. I always thought he was an okay dude and he made my mom happy so there wasn't much to complain about.
'Hello?" I said slowly as I sat up in suspicion. I hadn't been doing much just doodling in my sketchbook. I was waiting for one of the guys to text me back so we could hang out.
You would think that since I was back I would see them all the time like I used to, but I hadn't seen any of them since my party.
My shrink told me not to take it personally, so I tried not to get too upset about it. But still, I missed having my friends around. I guess that was the one thing I was kinda excited about for school.
Vanessa stared at me as she stood in my doorway.
Her blonde hair straight and cropped extremely short falling just passed her ears.
"Is there something you need?" I asked raising my brow.
She swayed side to side the smile on her face growing.
"Now that you mention it there is something... I was wondering if we could go to the mall? I would love to get a new outfit for the first day of school especially because I'll still pretty much be the new girl because I only started school here in the last two months of the last school year. And, I texted Grace and she told me she was at the mall and I figured-"
"Sure," I said cutting her off. I could use some time out of the house anyway.
'Awesome!" Vanessa said happily as I slipped on some shoes.
My room finally looked like a room again. It had taken some time after my... freak out, but the paint stains were finally gone.
We walked downstairs and out of the house before getting into my car.
It was weird being behind the wheel again.
'You okay, Daniel?" Vanessa asked me as we sat silently in the driveway. I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts.
"Yeah," I mumbled as I put the car in drive and pulled out.
It didn't take long to get to the mall. After I parked we walked through Macy's and into the main area.
That mall hadn't changed much since the last time I was here. It was still buzzing with life and smelt faintly of popcorn.
"I'm going to go find Grace. Thanks again for the ride. I'll text you later." Vanessa yelled before running away to a random direction of stores.
Here I was standing in the middle of a crowd and I still felt alone. I sighed.
Though the place looked the same the people had changed.
And, I really wanted to fucking smoke. I wonder where I could buy a pack in here- no, Daniel.
No smoking, no drinking, no drugs. No smoking, no drinking, no drugs. No smokin-
The chanting in my head stopped as I spotted her walking through the crowd.
Ashley?
I moved around trying to get a better look at the short blonde. It was Ashley.
Her Draco Malfoy blonde hair was tied into a tight bun. She was wearing a leotard and shorts. A gym bag over her shoulder.
I hadn't seen her in months, even before I left. The last time I saw her...
I guess she could feel someone's eyes on her as she suddenly turned and looked at me.
Her blue eyes widened as she broke into a smile.
"Loverboy!" She said happily as she walked over to me. I couldn't help but grin back. It was nice to see a familiar face again.
"Ashley," I stated softly. It was strange seeing her smiling and not because the last time I saw her she had been crying, but because she never really smiled in the first place. I was used to seeing her with a wicked smirk and bright colored hair.
"What are you doing here?" She asked as she looked up at me. "I came with my sister."
Her eyebrows pulled together. "Sister? I didn't know you had any siblin-"
"Neither did I until a few months ago," I said cutting her off. She frowned.
"What are you doing here?'" I asked changing the subject.
"I had a performance at the stage earlier. I was actually just about to leave." She said awkwardly.
Oh yeah, I had forgotten she danced here sometimes.
"I have to go or I'm going to miss my bus, but it was nic-"
"I can give you a ride home." I offered, cutting her off for the second time. Even as she looked away from me I could see the frown on her face.
"You sure about that?" She finally asked. Her ocean eyes on me. "It's just a ride." I pointed out.
She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Okay, sure. Thanks.'" She muttered.
With that, we began to walk looking for an exit.
"Where did you disappear to after... you know?" I asked breaking the silence between us. The frown she wore seemed to deepen as we walked into the parking lot.
"My parents had me on lockdown, well at least their version of it. I was only really allowed out to do volunteer." She answered tiredly. "Volunteer work?" I asked in surprise.
Don't get me wrong, it's just Ashley never seemed like the volunteering type.
"Well, it was that or jail, so." She shrugged.
Jail? Why-oh.
When I ended up in the hospital she must have been busted for giving me the drugs in the first place...
Things were silent for a moment as I drove. She didn't need to tell me the address. I could never forget where that apartment building was.
I parked the car in front of the building.
"I'm sorry I got you arrested and you know," I said finally as I turned to her. She snorted.
She reached into her bag pulling out cigarettes and a lighter. She didn't hesitate as she lit the cigarette and took a drag.
My hands tightened around the steering wheel as I watched her blow out smoke.
"You are a real backward guy sometimes, Daniel." She said finally as she took another drag.
The smell of the smoke made me want to gag but at the same time, it was like seeing an old friend again.
"Yeah?" I asked softly.
"Yeah, I think that's what I always liked about you." She said turning to me. A playful smirk on her face.
This was the Ashley that I knew. She looked different, but she was still the same.
"I-" I started but she cut me off "Have a 'girlfriend', I know. You don't have to tell me. The person you should remind is Emma." Ashley muttered.
"What do you mean by that?" I asked in confusion.
I mean Emma and I aren't together, but we aren't not together either. At least I think so. She and I just have to talk that's all, I tried to convince myself.
"Oh, you'll see," Ashley said as she blew smoke at me.
I wanted to question Ashley more but the smirk on her told me that was exactly what she wanted so instead I stayed silent.
For a while we sat there, parked in front of her building as she smoked in silence.
Suddenly she turned back to me.
"You want a drag?" Ashley asked breaking the silence as she held her half-finished cigarette out to me.
I couldn't speak. I knew if I did I'd say yes so instead I shook my head.
"You sure? You've been staring at me like you were ready to jump me for it." She asked a teasing tone in her voice.
I wanted it. I wanted it so fucking badly.
But I couldn't.
I looked away from her. What kind of game was she playing?
"Lighten up, Loverboy. I was joking." Ashley said with ease as she opened the car door and tossed her cigarette out.
"I'll see you at school." She muttered before getting out of the car and slamming the door shut.
I think I'm going to be sick.
{Published: November 7th, 2018}
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A/N: Sorry, this chapter is kinda slow. The story should start picking up soon. Either way, I'll be posting shorter parts in order to update more often. Sorry for disappearing for a while there. Middle terms had me super busy.