Theo POV
It was the next day and the tattoo was healing well I planned on showing Collae when the time was right between us. I didn't want her to think I did this selfishly.
I had no doubt that I wanted to be with her, I just hope she felt the same.
I never really addressed my anger issues with anyone except my family since they were the ones who's seen it hands on. I wish I could say something horrible happened to me for me to react to the things that Ive done but there isn't. My father always would tell me his father used to beat him constantly and he was overall just an angry and ugly man. He passed away when my father was in his late twenties. I don't remember much about him because my father didn't want me around him.
My father was worried I'd be as bad as him but over the past couple of years I've been better. I would like to describe myself as having reactive aggression. It used to be worse when I was younger, starting with tantrums and breaking things. Eventually as I got older I started to be physical with other people. This eventually became a problem once I got to middle and high school. I've always managed to stay out of trouble due to my father pulling strings.
Collae made me feel calm, like a better person, she showed me who I could be. She's someone I've dreamed about. It almost didn't feel real sometimes and now I had a baby on the way. That definitely wasn't expected.
I was on my way to her house to bring her to mine. I talked to my mom telling her that she needed a talk but not to push anything out of her. I couldn't possibly say the right things to her but maybe she could. I didn't tell her what happened I just told her Collae really needed someone to talk to.
I texted her I was outside. I waited for her at the passenger door like I usually do when I pick her up. She manages to always look her best even on her bad days. Just seeing her makes my day better.
"Hi Cauliflower," I smiled at her laying a soft kiss on her forehead. I looked up to see her nana glaring at me from the window. I politely waved and she shut the curtain. Sheesh.
"Don't worry about her, you know how she is," She laughed waving her off getting into the car. I didn't take it personal I've had doors slammed in my face. I walked over getting in the car.
"Hey," she said softly before smiling at me.
"You're so beautiful," my thoughts escaped my mouth. Her usual head bow didn't come and I smiled.
"Thank you," was all she said smiling back before turning her attention to her phone.
"You haven't hung out at my place in a little," I started to head there.
"I know I can't wait to see the babies," She squealed.
"I think they're excited to see you too."
~~~
When we walked in of course she was greeted by my baby brother first as usual. I rolled my eyes at him. He has done this every time.
"Hi my handsome boy," She scooped him up. I was a little worrisome considering she's pregnant and that boy wasn't that light.
"Should you be-" I was cut off by her hand and she continued to swing Adrian.
"Now where is Amalie?" She tickled him. He was laughing so hard trying to squirm other arms. He managed to escape her grip and screamed running away. I wanted to tell him to be careful and not rough with her but I knew Collae would've got upset with me.
"I love him," she said laughing. And 'I love you' I thought to myself. I always loved seeing her interact with my siblings even if they were crazy. It was clear she was going to make a good mother.
"Salut Collae," My mom came to the living room immediately embracing her, "We've missed your company, when you're around it remind me that kids with manners still exist." Collae laughed still in her embrace.
"I missed y'all too," Her smile faded and my mom noticed her change of mood.
"Are you hungry? I know what it's like eating for two, well three also. But I made some crepes," she guided her to the kitchen motioning for me to go elsewhere. I didn't take much time exiting the kitchen and leaving to my room.
"I actually am a little hungry, I've been feeling so big lately eating all the time, and some things I used to love I don't like eating anymore, like spinach," I eavesdropped until Enzo slapped my back.
"Why are you spying on mom and Collae, can I go say hi or it's a bad time," He started to walk toward the kitchen and I yanked him back, "Ow!"
"Shhhhhhhh," I dragged him into my room, "I was trying to listen to what they're talking about."
"Seems like an invasion of privacy to me," he rolled his neck, "Why would you even have to spy on her and mom?"
"Shut up, it's not, I just want to see what Collae's been thinking about lately, It's not that simple," I shook my head.
"Why not, isn't she your girlfriend? Or are you guys still beefing?" He joked.
I actually took some time explaining Enzo the situation brother to brother so he wouldn't repeat the same mistakes I had in my room. He was right about me invading their privacy so I just decided to wait until Collae came to find me.
~~~
Collae
Theo disappeared and this was weird, I haven't seen him in almost twenty minutes, he's always trying to get me away from his family members as soon as possible something was definitely up.
"How are you dealing with everything lately?" Sophie asked me biting into her crepe. I really hadn't been opening up to people about this pregnancy due to second thoughts and guilt.
"I've been...dealing," I laughed not trying to go into detail.
"You know Collae, even though I've only known you about seven months, I really enjoy you being around, you make me see something in my son I didn't know was there, I am willing and ready to be apart of your life and support you," She set her food down and crossed her hands together on the island.
"Thank you, that really means a lot to me..." I started feeling emotional I began to think of my own mother, "You're a great mom."
"And you will be too, I promise, it might seem hard right now but thats completely normal, I was so scared when I got pregnant with Theo but he has an amazing father who supported me. I know Theo has made his mistakes but I know he wants to do better for you, I know you guys are young but this is a special love."
Her words stuck with me just thinking about all the shit I've been through and it hasn't even been a year yet. I knew that me and Theo would continue to have obstacles it was just hard to see through. I knew I wanted to be with him I was just scared of what was in store for us.
"Has anything been on your mind other than the baby?" She came to sit next to me. I haven't spoke about the situation with Harrison to anyone. I just wanted to forget about it. I was that girl who thought something like that couldn't happen to. I thought it was really only in the movies and he was the last person I expected it from. He was so kind to me and respected my space. Until that day. I was so stupid.
"Has Theo said something to you?" I wondered because why was she trying to get me to talk so much today, especially with him not around.
"He mentioned you feeling down about something, he didn't tell me what it was but he asked me if I could talk to you because he feels like he'll say the wrong thing," She rubbed my lower back, "Even if he didn't say anything I can tell somethings troubling you beautiful, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."
I paused for a moment to think if I should open up about this but then tears just started to fall.
Theo's mom stood up to embrace me and I melted into her hold.
"I'm sorry, it's just I don't know how to talk about this to anyone," I felt my eyes beginning to water and tears quickly escaped my eyes.
"It's okay honey, everything is going to be okay," she cooed me wiping my tears with her thumb.
"I just feel like I'm doing everything wrong, I'm sixteen with a baby, I love your son, and he is going to college in a few months and I'm so scared he'll betray me again, I hated the feeling I got when Theo hurt me, I can't go through that again, I don't think I'm ready for this baby, this was all just so sudden, someone who I thought I could trust violated me and I just feel so helpless like my life isn't even in my own hands, I just- I just don't know what the fuck I'm doing with my life anymore," Once I started I couldn't stop, I felt like I overshared but I couldn't keep that in anymore.
"Did Theo hurt you Collae?" Her soft face started to turn into a familiar angry one. She brought one hand to my shoulder and stared into my eyes.
"No...it was someone else, his name is Harrison, I don't know if you know h-"
"Harrison as in Theo's teammate?" She said in disbelief, I only nodded, "I'm calling his parents."
"No! Please, this is why I didn't want to say anything," I yelped out, I didn't mean to curse or yell in her home but I was getting overwhelmed.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, Collae I'm so sorry this all happened to you, you don't deserve any of this, you have the most beautiful scarred heart I've ever seen," She knelt down to me, "You are in control of your own life, don't let anything that has happened to you in your past control how you choose your future, you are Gods gem, you are growing, you are special, you cannot let any of this question your value, especially as a woman, trust me I relate to you more than you know, my husband knows this but I was assaulted when I was fourteen years old by my uncle, I thought I was broken and unable to be loved, I woke up with nightmares almost everyday for almost two years, and then I went and got pregnant at eighteen I was so scared Collae, so scared, I thought I wasn't going about life right either but I was shown a world of love and goodness, and I'm still being shown, just by looking at you and my son."
I couldn't form any words to respond to her. My heart broke for her. Theo probably didn't even know about this. Her words helped me so much. It reminded me that I had to be strong.
"I'm sorry that happened to you, you were so young," I cried more and a small tear fell from her eye, she swiftly wiped it away. It wasn't just me that needed comforting now.
I got off the stool and crouched down to her embracing her.
"Collae you can't let your past define you, you are your future, you are in control," I didn't respond I just held her for a while longer. I felt a hand on my shoulder and it was Mr. Da Silva. Sophie looked up as well quickly gathering herself and standing up, also helping me up in the process.
"Hey," she sniffled greeting him with a soft kiss.
"Baby are you alright?" He held her cheek in his hand wiping her tears.
"Yeah, me and Collae were just talking everything is okay," she smiled at me. I smiled back finally clearing my tears.
"Are you okay?" He asked me next. I nodded, "I'm so much better now." Thank you Theo and thank you Sophie.
"Well Collae you should go find Theo," she shooed me to go find him and Mr. DaSilva was all in her space trying to read her. I stood up to go find Theo, I looked back to find her and her husband in a tight embrace, I smiled at the view, I'm sure their love had always been this beautiful, couldn't have had five kids for nothing. I assumed her he overheard some of our conversation by the way he was looking at the two of us.
I needed that talk. Theo assumed he couldn't talk to me, I appreciated him always trying to make me comfortable and happy but a talk like that wouldn't have been the same with him. So I guess his assumptions weren't wrong. I'm just happy I didn't have to hold that in anymore. It felt like a weight had finally been lifted off my shoulders, and maybe I could move on for good now.