Request: "AH SO EXCITED FOR YOUR ANGST PROMPT (Is that weird) please do Jason Todd with number 14"
Prompt 14: "You're so determined to protect yourself and your feelings, but what about me?"
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You were used to it. His silence when he came home from patrols, the cold look in his eyes. You're getting sick of him coming home hurting and refusing to talk about it. He goes through hell out there and all you want is for him to open up, it makes you feel like he doesn't trust you, like you wouldn't understand. But he's just so cold.
The following mornings he'll be back to himself most of the time. Kissing your cheek while you make coffee, reading a book with his feet propped up on your lap. Though, he never, ever tells you what happened on patrols.
Other times he's a little less cold, but he still is himself some. It's hard, to see him like that. Like this.
You were sitting on the couch reading, waiting for Jason to come home. Hearing the window to your bedroom slide open. Looking over the back of the couch you saw his jacket get thrown across the bedroom. Standing from the couch you made your way to the bedroom, "Jay?" Calling for him. Finding him sitting on the bed with his head in his hands.
Walking over you sat down beside him. "Do you want to talk about it?" He shook his head and stood up, walking away from you. "What do you think?" Mumbling sharply.
"Jason, you can't keep bottling this up. You should talk to me. This is going to tear you to shreds if you don't." Standing up to follow him into the living room. "Jason please, I just want to be there for you."
"And you are, tomorrow morning. You're always there the next morning for me." He turned around as you scoffed. "I don't want it to be the next morning! To wake up to you kicking and screaming because of your nightmares. To have to shake you out of them every single night!"
Tears streamed down your cheeks. Turning away from him you wiped your cheeks, a sniffle sounding in his ears. "It's hard for me to." Your voice was barely audible. Whipping around you faced him, "You're so determined to protect yourself and your feelings, but what about me?" Gesturing to yourself. "What am I supposed to do? I can't just wait up every night for the rest of my life for you to come home to just ignore me until the morning. I can't do it Jason." This time you didn't attempt to wipe away any tears. Just letting them leave trails down your face.
Jason couldn't look at you. He was causing you so much pain, and all he could do was just fucking stand here. "I need you to talk to me, or I can't make it to another morning."
Tears threatened his eyes as he watched your tears glide down your face. Eyes red and puffy as you sniffled. "Just let your walls down, stop trying to protect yourself from someone who loves you." Shaking your head at him. Tears escaped his eyes and you rushed over to embrace him. His neck buried in your neck while you rubbed his back. His tears soaked your shirt. "Tell me what happened."
"I couldn't save them" His voice was hoarse and muffled by your shirt. "Who baby?" asking while leading him over to the couch. When sitting down his face never left your neck. "The Joker. He killed them before I got there, all the hostages." Sighing you continued to rub his back. Soothing him, "It's alright Jason, it's gonna be alright."
When his body shakes and cries subsided you pulled away. Resting your forehead to his, bringing your hands up to wipe the tears from his face. "You don't have to be scared to be vulnerable around me. I'm here to share your burdens, I love you Jason."
He looked into your eyes. "I'm sorry I was being such a coward."
You shook your head, "You're not a coward. You're just guarded, and that's okay. It's being able to let that guard down that is important, and you letting it down just now, it was brave." He gave you a weak smiled before you pecked his lips. "Let's go to bed, you need to rest."
Nodding he followed you into the bedroom. You helped him peel off his gear before he nestled into bed with you. Kissing him gently you mumbled "Goodnight Jason, I love you." Feeling him relax, you smiled, his grin being felt against your skin. "I love you too [F/n]."