Jungkook rubs his back and winces at the pain coursing through out his body. He had slept in the bathroom all night, laying on the cold tiled floor against the vomit spattered toilet, having barely enough time to jump (or rather fall) into the shower and rinse off. He then had barely enough time to think about last night at all, or even to muster up enough strength to shrug his coat on: in short, Jungkook is very late to work.
"Well, well, well...." Sarah tsks, watching Jungkook frantically burst into the building and rush up to the front desk to sign in. His blue ink pen scratches nervously against the clipboard held signing sheet, causing the words to come out a little loopy and fat. Sarah stares incredulously at the sunken doctor. He takes a deep breath and feels a small relief in knowing, by the way Sarah is talking to him, that Dr. Lina's gossip about him and V has not spread yet.
He drops his discarded pen on the clipboard and chokes out an unintelligible greeting, then avoids eye contact with the woman, who's nail file is poised just above her fingers; her lips are pulled into a lopsided smirk as she yells to Jungkook, who is hurriedly rushing into the elevator, "For Fucks sake, Dr. Jeon....put on some deodorant!"
Jungkook waves to her lazily and nods his head as the elevator doors slide closed. He bites his lip and breaths heavily through his nose, knowing there is absolutely no time to rest in his office....he has to meet V. It's already too late and he can't put It off. He just hopes he won't run into Dr. Lina. He's really not in the mood to put up with her snotty nosed bullshit.
Jungkooks pace is slow. All of the thoughts clouding his mind are seeming to act as quicksand. His eyes are probably very glossy and blank, and if anyone had stopped to examine him, it would seem obvious that he is dealing with very deep problems. Of course most people wont look him in the eyes and immediately guess that the young doctor is in fact battling romantic feelings for a psychotic killer. If anything, they would Suspect something much lower on the bar; for example, maybe Jungkook is dealing with a family feud; Or maybe he's deeply troubled with the loss of a Loved one. If only that were the case. If only it was something normal.
Jungkooks thoughts seem to run into a wall as he meets the locked cell that holds V. He swallows heavily and once again ignores Mister Allem as he makes his way inside the dark space. He closes the door behind him and takes only a second to adjust to the chilling area before walking slowly up to V, who is sitting in the same chair and boring the same crazed expression.
"good evening, V." Jungkook mumbles, his own expression darkening considerably as he sits down in front of the green haired man. The small lightbulbs scattered across the concreted walls beam lazily, casting an eerie glow across both the man's faces.
V pouts and moves his head side to side, trying to catch Jungkook's wavering gaze, "Kookie! What's wrong, you look rather disheveled." the elder chuckles lowly, as if he is enjoying the doctors pain.
Jungkook slowly raises his head and their eyes meet. The doctor stares at V, who's deep brown orbs seem to be burning the truth out of Jungkook, his playful smirk adding to the mixed feelings of the younger, "It's you..."
V cocks his head, pretending not to know what Jungkook is talking about, "Hmm? What about me?"
Jungkook clenches his fists and grits his teeth, feeling another swarm of butterflies in his stomach at the fake innocence V brings to the situation. Jungkook loves V. He knows he does. Maybe he's crazy, maybe he's not....but he knows that he loves the psychotic man before him. No words can be used to explain his feelings, not that Jungkook would want his feelings explained anyway. He knows he can't keep doing this; he can't keep playing doctor, not when V has completely reset all of his thoughts and erased all of his premonitions. Jungkook is afraid. He's Absolutely terrified to say what he needs to say. He may lose his job....he may lose himself. But it's killing him to bottle up the feelings that are itching to escape, especially from the one who's giving those feelings to him: Jungkook takes a deep breath.
"I love you."
Those three simple words are undoubtedly the most powerful of words in the human vocabulary. And when they are put together, it makes a sentence that is and will continue to be the most powerful sentence in all of mankind. Of course most people would doubt this, but it is plain fact; The conclusive truth that everyone attempts to avoid. When you say 'I love you' to somebody, and you have utter sincerity in your voice, everyone who hears forthwith knows that the person you had said this too is someone of greater importance than most people; That they are someone you would give your life to and, no matter what happens, you will always be there for; They will be someone to cry over and someone to talk about; They will be one of the first people you go to. Jungkook knows this all. And what makes these feelings he has even scarier, is that he means it. He means it when he says 'I love you' to V.
"Oh?" V's back straightens and his smile broadens.
Jungkook looks at his hands and feels a tear roll down his cheek. He doesn't want to cry....especially in front of V.
"I couldn't....I couldn't keep it in," Jungkook whispers, his voice strangled, "I don't even know how it happened... I've known you for only four days....and yet...." Jungkook looks V in the eyes then, his head absently bringing itself closer to the green haired man's, "And yet I love you."
V leans forwards and without a word of notice connects their lips.
Jungkook is shocked at first, his mind seeming to be caught in a spiderweb. He thinks back to the first kiss they shared, the past one being short and full of mixed emotions that scared the doctor. But now, in this moment, Jungkook knows what choice he has to make.
Jungkook Closes his eyes tightly and kisses back, his stomach churning in a way that brings somewhat pleasure. His lips dance with V's and the room seems to move with them. V laughes in between kisses, his deep voice ringing through Jungkooks head. Its amazing to Jungkook. Amazing and very, very scary. The doctors emotions can not be placed in any category, nor can they be simply formed into words. And in that moment, Jungkook knows for a fact that he can not turn back time. Things will never be the same and nothing can be undone.
Jungkook pulls away, his eyes seeming to stay fixed on the elders smooth pink lips, a glossy sheen of saliva coating the skin. The doctor swallows hard and bites his lip, willing himself not to cry.
V smiles widely, his eyes chanting the simple expression that makes it clear he is not right in the brain.
"I...." Jungkook feels his mouth dry up and suddenly he cannot speak. He can only gap at V and clench his fists at his side. What has he done.
"bunny boy.....ah my bunny boy..." V chuckles, his voice a low whisper. He brings his lips up to Jungkooks ear, "I need you to get me something...."
Jungkook shakes his head slowly, not understanding, "What?" he shivers, feeling V's warm breath on the side of his face, the taste of metallic champagne lingering on his tongue. Realization seems to hit him like a train and he begins to blubber thoughtlessly, "Anything! I mean...yes...yes."
V chuckles, the deep sound sending goose bumps along Jungkooks skin, "I need you to get me a machine gun."
Jungkook feels his heart race and his eyes widen, "A...a machine gun?" his hands begin to shake as he shifts on his chair, wanting to leave but feeling as if his legs are made of jelly.
V smirks, the simple gesture putting Jungkooks mind in a daze, "can you get me a machine gun, Bunny?"
"yes."
V smiles widely, obviously pleased.
Jungkook feels blood pounding in his ears at the realization of what he's just said...what he's just blindly agreed too. How is it that love can make you do such impossible things? How can it make you do things you would never dream of doing in the past?
Jungkook stands up and leaves without another word, his expression blank and his skin pale. When he gets home, he will throw away the Psychosis pills; He will watch them spiral down the toilet; And then he will wake up early. And he will buy a gun. Because he knows he would do anything for V. He hates it, but he understands now that there is no way out of this. Isn't that how love works? You'd do anything for them? well, if you disagree.....you must have never fallen in love before.
。。。。。。
The next morning~
Jungkook digs his hand into the left pocket of his green bomber, feeling the papery texture of a 100 dollar bill and hearing it crumple beneath his finger tips. He let's out a chilled breath of air, watching as a drift of fog escapes his mouth. It's barely 7:00 am and Jungkook is teetering on the edge of a cross walk, the gun shop just on the other side of the road.
Jungkook swallows hard and shakes his head, "This is crazy....this is fucking stupid....dont do this Jeon Jungkook." Jungkook whispers to himself under his breath, feeling anxiety swimming in his veins.
A short, pompous man wearing a scuffed leather jacket and a pair of baggy jeans opens the door to the Gun shop, greeting someone inside the store loudly with his over-ecstatic voice. Jungkook tosses his head back and whimpers, "I can't do this...." cars rush past him, making sure to watch out for Jungkook who is dangerously close to falling in the street.
Suddenly, the life saving sound of Jins ringtone brings Jungkook out of his dillema. He quickley reaches into the back pocket of his dark Blue Jeans and answers his friends call, "Jin!"
Jungkook smiles sadly, feeling his chest hurt, "Thank God you called....I was just about to do something crazy that I know I would definitely regret." he turns around and walks back towards his house, the phone flat against his ear, "Hey...can you come over? I'm off work today. I need to talk to you."
Jungkook makes his way up the concrete steps of his home and into the building, where he immediately flops onto the couch, feeling hopeless and lost, "Okay Jinni....thanks. I'll see you soon. Bye."
Jungkook ends the call and tosses his phone lazily unto the coffee table beside him. He turns the TV on and stares towards the bright screen blankly. He needs to tell Jin about V. If there's one person that can talk some sense into him, it's Kim SeokJin.
。。。。。。
Jungkook watches nervously as Jin sits beside him on the couch holding two small cups of hot chai tea, warm steam curling up from the brims. Jungkook nods thankfully towards his Hyung and takes one of the small teacups from the elders spindly fingers.
"So." jin starts, taking a moment to sip at his tea. He looks up and stares ruefully at Jungkook, whose hands are shaking, "What's troubling you."
Jungkook sighs, his breath shaky, "I....I need you to help me....I just.... Somethings happened and I'm seriously afraid for my sanity."
Jin raises an eyebrow, the youngers words piquing his interest, "Your sanity?" Jin places his half empty cup of tea on the coffee table and folds his hands over Jungkooks trembling ones, "Tell me every thing."
Jungkook takes a moment to stare into Jins eyes, the elders gaze holding utmost love and sincerity. Jungkook gulps down his fear and begins, "A few days ago, I was given a very important case at work. I was appointed as V's doctor. You know, the infamous murderer?" jungkook pauses, letting jin take a moment to realize what hes said.
Jin gasps, his eyes widening considerably and his hands jumping a little, "V!? The one that they've never been able to catch! Oh my gosh!!" jin shakes his head fervently, eye brows creased, "Continue."
Jungkook nods, opening his mouth to speak again, "I was excited. You see, I make the insane ones sane for a living and I knew V would be a tricky one, but I was confident! I was sure I would be able to turn that man right around, like I could for all the other people that were appointed to me in the past. But no...." Jungkooks lips begin to tremble and he avoids eye contact with jin, "Jin...instead of curing him... I..." jungkook Prys his hands away from Jins and brings them up to cover his glossy eyes, suddenly too afraid to tell the elder.
Jin leans forwards and envelops Jungkook in a meaningful embrace, "Tell me. It's okay, Jungkook. What happened."
"I..." Jungkook takes a deep breath and whispers into Jins shoulder, "I fell in love with him." this was it. Jungkook knows it. Jin is going to push him away and yell that he's utturly crazy. He's going to lose jin as a friend, Jungkook knows it.
Jungkook feels Jin tense and the younger uses this moment to pull away, his words coming out sharply, "Jin... I understand if you hate me now, or if you want to tell my boss....I under stand, because it's crazy... I know it's crazy bu-" Jungkook was cut off by the stinging sensation of Jins hand against his cheek. The younger gasps loudly and reaches his hands up to his face.
"Jeon Jungkook!" jin yells. Jungkook closes his eyes and feels tears roll down his red cheeks, "Jungkook! Look at me!!" the couch bounces a little due to Jins outburst and Jungkook whimpers, knowing that this is where it ends with Jin. This is where he loses his only friend.
"No...." jungkook shakes his head, curling into a ball. He can't face his Hyung. He doesn't want to see the disappointment and disgust on his friends face...
"Jungkook, look at me." jin says again, his voice much softer this time. jungkook feels a lump in his throat and slowly turns his head, confused by the elders simple tone. The black haired boy makes eye contact with Jin and his mouth falls open in shock seeing that Jins expression is not mad, nor is it disgusted. In fact, the pink haired elder looks happy....and a little sad as well.
Jungkook cautiously uncurles himself, "Your not upset....?"
Jin shakes his head slowly, his lips forming into a sad smile, "of course not, Kook."
"Than why did you slap me!?" jungkook narrows his eyes, wiping the tears from his cheeks with the back of his hand, "And why aren't you mad..."
Jin shakes his head softly and closes his eyes for a brief moment, as if he is reminiscing over something from the past. He wordlessly reaches down and takes a sip from his now lukewarm cup of chai tea, the copper liquid sloshing haphazardly. Jungkook watches, perplexed, as the pink haired man reaches behind the couch and casually brings out an extra large bag of barbecue chips. Jin uses both hands to pry the chips open and begins to munch lazily on the snack, motioning the opened bag towards Jungkook as he chewed noisefully, "Want some chips?"
"Wha...." Jungkook sputters, confused by the elders actions. He closes his agaped mouth and slowly sticks his hand in the bag, grabbing a handful of chips, staring curiously at Jin as he does so, "Um....can you tell me why your not mad, Hyung?" Jungkook asks as he brings a chip up to his mouth nervously.
Jin sighs, placing the bag of chips between his legs. He snacks continuously as he speaks to Jungkook, "You see, Kookie...love is a powerful thing." Jungkook gags at the elders words, causing Jin to aim his finger pointedly at the younger and growl, "Shut up, Jeon. Its true! Now listen, this is serious!"
Jungkook hangs his head and nods, letting Jin continue, "Now...jungkook. Like I said, Love is a powerful thing. Nobody and nothing can get between love. Although I am absolutely terrified and shocked and worried that your falling in love with the infamous V, I know that stopping you from seeing him would only cause more pain than you could ever imagine." jin pauses to swallow a rather large chip, "If you truly love this man, which I hope you don't because this is insane, than you must pursue him. You can't avoid your feelings Jungkook. You need to realize that love is a small burning flame that never dies!" Jin waves his hand dramatically in the air for emphasism, "but if you ignore it...that flame will grow into a roaring fire and it will swallow you whole. Like I said, I'm worried and terrified.....but if it truly is love, I must let you continue on this path. Do you understand, Jungkook?"
Jungkook feels his eye twitch and he stares at Jin in utter shock. The pink haired man is sitting taller and has his fist raised midway into the air, the dramatic emotion set fast in his expression. Jungkook gaps at his friend, "Seriously!?"
Jin nods furvently, stuffing a chip in his mouth, "Yes."
Jungkook pulls at his hair, not believing his Hyungs words, "Are you kidding me!? V is a killer!!!! He's crazy! And your telling me to pursue my feelings for him!?"
Jin nods, "Yes. In fact, it's no different than me and Namjo- I MEAN, ITS NO DIFFERENT THAN BATMAN AND ROBIN?!" jin sputters, jumping off the couch and holding the chip bag to his chest, his eyes wide.
Jungkook gasps, "you were going to say Namjoon!" the younger jumps up and grabs ahold of Jins shoulders, "WHAT IS NAMJOON!"
jin bites his lip, throwing his right hand up and placing it dramatically to his forehead, "He....he.....hes a rapper!"
Jungkook takes a moment to register his Hyungs words and then begins to break out in a round of uprorous laughter, "Jin!!!?? What's wrong with loving a rapper!?"
Jin frowns and places his hands on his hips, the chip bag dangerously close to spilling unto the carpet, "They are so innapropiate! I mean, how would you feel about walking around with someone who wrote a song called "expensive girl!!" the lyrics in that make me sick...." Jin brings a chip to his lips and shakes his head in dissaste.
Jungkook snorts, trying to calm his laughter, "wow, Hyung." He does not have the heart to tell his friend that expensive girl was indeed a cover....it's just too funny.
A loud ding sounds from Jins pocket then and the elder reaches down to grab out his phone, which displays a text from Namjoon himself. Jins expression changes to that of excitement, "Oh! Joonie planned a dinner for us tonight!" Jin lunges forwards to embrace Jungkook in a tight hug, "Thank you for letting me help you with your messed up life, Kook! Let's hang out again soon!"
Jungkook chuckles, hugging Jin back and patting the elder on the back, "yeah. Thanks Jin. It means a lot." the chip bag is silently transferred over to Jungkook as they break the hug and the younger rolls his eyes, placing the snack on the couch.
"seeya!" jin cries, grabbing his coat and running to the front door, "And good luck, Kook! Love ya!"
"Bye, Jin!" Jungkook waves at Jin as the elder walks out the door, slamming it shut behind him.
Jungkook smirks and chuckles under his breath, grabbing the chip bag and heading to the kitchen. He tosses the snack on the counter and grabs a glass of water, pondering Jins words of wisdom. Maybe he should listen to jin....although pursuing love for V is really crazy.
Jungkook closes his eyes, feeling thoughts wash through him. He feels as if there's something he forget to tell Jin....
"I need you to get me a machine gun."
Jungkooks eyes fly open as the realization hits him like a train. He forgot to tell Jin about what V wanted!
Jungkook places the cup of water on the counter and leans over the sink, his breathing heavy and his mind foggy once again.
A machine gun.
Jungkook takes a deep breath and thinks of V's smile...his soft lips and his wide eyes.
Maybe he should take Jins advice into all seriousness.
Maybe he should pursue his feelings for V.....even if it means going back to that gun shop. Good thing he has a license, finally a reason to use it.