Finding myself

By Just_for_a_change

692K 36.6K 15.7K

IIHighest rank no: 3II What are the repercussions of a rejection? 1. Getting numb 2. Failing to care about a... More

Legend
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
A/N
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
YOU GUYS MAKE ME SO HAPPY!
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
IMPORTANT!!!
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
So sorry!(Yes this is another one of those dingy notes)
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Notice
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Please read
Happy new year
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
IMPORTANT
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
Chapter 71
Chapter 72
Chapter 73
Chapter 74
Chapter 75
Chapter 76
Chapter 77
Chapter 78
Chapter 79
Chapter 80
Please read
Chapter 81
Chapter 82
Chapter 83
Chapter 84
Important
Chapter 85
Chapter 86
Chapter 87
Chapter 88
Chapter 89
Chapter 90
Chapter 91
Chapter 92
Chapter 93
Chapter 94
Chapter 95
Chapter 96
Chapter 97
Chapter 98
Chapter 99
Chapter 100
Chapter 101
Chapter 102
Chapter 103
Chapter 104
Chapter 105
Chapter 106
Chapter 107
Chapter 108
Chapter 109
Chapter 110
Chapter 111
Chapter 112
Chapter 113
Chapter 114
Chapter 115
Chapter 116
Chapter 117
Chapter 118
Chapter 119
Chapter 120
Chapter 121
Chapter 122
Epilogue
Q&A

Chapter 32

8.2K 464 322
By Just_for_a_change


Surprise, I knew you guys were waiting for so long, so I thought I won't leave you with a cliffhanger. Thanks a lot for your patience and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

He stood there, his arm extended towards me with an apple. He must have been watching me for some time now.

I noticed that my table has grown quiet. I remembered Jason telling me how much he admired my father. These teens think my dad is a legend.

I took a quick glance at them and apart from Hails and Raven who were watching with a mild interest that they were trying to hide, everyone had their eyes bulged out so much I thought it will roll out of its socket.

I looked at him coldly before getting off my seat and pushing past him. The scraping sounded so loud and clear in the hall and I realized that the whole crowd was watching our exchange.

I gritted my teeth. What the hell is he playing at? Why is he trying this now of all times? Is he trying to make a scene?

Everyone watched with a bit of shock or curiosity. Even Blaze was frowning a teeny, tiny bit. I could catch that much even though he was so stoic.

I have to walk away before things get out of hand. I could already feel Zian stirring. This is not good.

But I stopped in my track when I saw my mother along with my sisters. I could already feel a bond with them. A bond I was desperately trying to close off.

My mother's unwavering gaze had me fixed at my point and I could sense both my sisters grow restless. Gracie shuffled in her arms while Hailey moved to her back, clutching her dress.

"Dex, who is this girl? Why do I feel a connection with her?" I could hear her voice breaking. This will not end up good. She is already starting to put the dots together.

She will know her connection with me in no time. A mother's bond with her kids is strong. Probably because maternal protective instinct is the strongest.

My father didn't respond to her. I could feel the growing tension in this room.

Damn.

I tried to walk away but his voice stopped me.

"Zara, we need to talk." There was so much pain in his voice.

"No" I curtly replied.

I don't want him to follow me. I might do something I regret.

"Zara, please. I know the last few years were tough but I want to change all of that. I want to get close to you. Please. Please give me a chance to explain. And maybe from there, if we can work it out... "

He moved to the front so he was facing me.

"I want to be in your life." He whispered.

Why doesn't he realize he has already lost his chance? This man used to be so tall and strong when I was younger. Now, I didn't see him the same way as when I was a kid.

So much drama. I could already feel the waves of murmurs going around the room.

'Why is he saying that?'

'Are they family?'

'What is happening?'

I glared at the floor fiercely, willing my wolf to stand down. She is already feeding me with violent thoughts. I won't last at this rate.

My claws had extended and blood seeped through my palms at how hard I was fisting. I knew everyone could smell its scent.

I was fighting for control so hard.

Blaze, who felt my discomfort stood up and stalked over to us.

My father looks like he has a death wish. He is still staring at me with those pleading eyes. Can't he see how close Zian is?

"Zara, I-" he started but I cut him off.

"Shut up," I told him calmly. I can't stand his act. He can't do this now after all these years. He just can't.

"I-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" I roared at him. My wolf's voice could be clearly heard through mine and I could feel my eyes become the familiar fluorescent green.

"You don't know what it felt like so just shut up and leave me alone. You were never there. Where were you when I really needed you? Playing happy family with your mate?" I questioned him darkly. I know I am not supposed to speak like this and I see the shocked expressions in the room.

"Never show your face to me again. Not now, not ever. You can't do this now. Dad. " I sneered at him, Zian is growing restless in me.

I heard the gasps ringing around the room. Oh yeah, my connection to him is a new revelation here. Blaze was looking slightly taken aback realizing that I am an alpha's daughter.

People were staring at my unusual eye color. The fluorescent green. It was already starting to switch to electric blue. I can't control it. There were so many devices around and my wolf is so close to the surface.

I blinked my eyes to prevent the transition.

"You will not speak to an alpha like that. Apologize." Blaze said calmly.

"The hell I will," I said chuckling darkly. That was the best joke.

"APOLOGIZE." He demanded again and I could feel my wolf get pissed off for a whole different reason. I am not even sure I want to stop her.

"This is none of your business." I ground out looking at him directly in the eye, challenging him. I know what Zian is doing. She is trying to get a reaction out of him.

You never directly look in the eye of a dominant wolf unless you want to challenge him. I don't think I am going to hold Zian back now.

How dare he butt in my business? What does he even know to make me apologize?

My dad was looking at me with a heartbroken expression while my mom was already crying.

"She is my daughter? Dex what is going on?" my mother said, tugging on my father's sleeves.

She was already crying. This is so difficult. I could feel the warm blood seeping through my palm to the floor. There was already a small puddle. And yet I didn't really register the pain. It helped me stay calm.

This is all his fault. Why is he making this so difficult?

Blaze glared at me, stepping closer to me besides my dad.

"Apologize, NOW!" he said.

I defiantly looked him in the eye to piss him off. I faintly hear Sam's warning but I can't care less now.

I could feel his wolf stirring too. He must know how close Zian is too.

Is he trying to pick a fight? The tension in the room is palpable.

"I will not tolerate this kind of behavior." He said. And from his delicate tone, I knew Xavier was the one speaking. It must be difficult for him to hurt his mate.

"I can't care less about what you can or cannot tolerate," I said smirking.

Blaze seemed to be back as he started to glare at me. And lo, the ultimate stare down between the king and his notorious mates. It can go to a whole new level if it isn't stopped right now.

But Blaze's pride is what makes him continue this. He must be pretty confident that I will submit to him. Let him try.

And just as he predicted, the wave of power of the alpha king is spread around the room, making everyone instantly submit.

All the alphas are also bending their heads, including my father. Unable to resist the pressurizing pain of not submitting. I have Sam to thank for the pain tolerance. Thinking about him makes me regret my actions a little bit. But I will not stand down now. It will an insult to his training as well. Especially when he is the one butting into things he should stay clear of. Blaze will know I am his equal.

I still stared at him defiantly and he glared at me concentrating the pressure more on me. He seems to have released the others. He still stared and I resisted but the bone breaking pressure forced me to my knees.

His stare was unwavering and so was mine. I will not give up.

I can feel his hesitation through the bond. Xavier is concerned for me.

I wanted to scoff at that. I don't need his concern.

Now, Blaze seems to be concentrating on me fully. I could feel the whole pressure. The pain feels like all of my bones are being forced broken and my joints are being twisted the other way round.

Zian started growling ferally. He will not disrespect us like he once did. That much we were sure, but we were paralyzed, unable to move.

Is this the power of an alpha king? He is almost as strong as Sam already. This power will only grow.

From the veins popping out of his neck and the sweat beading his brows, I know the strain he is putting on me has reached his maximum. He has met his match. He looked at me shock like all the other pack members as my head still stays high. I smirk at him and he glares at me.

Behind him, I can see a look of pride on my father's face.

My head feels like it will explode if I don't bend it low. And just like that my last strand of control breaks and I shift directly pouncing for Blaze and aiming for his jugular. My wolf is feral, almost rabid. Her rage is uncontrolled, just like mine.

The pack members shuffle back in fear and my father pulls my mom back and picks up Hailey. I don't see Jason and the group but I can't care less.

I tackle Blaze to the ground and Zian directly looks him in the eye as she wraps her mouth around his jugular forcing him to shift.

We might be at the end of our control but that doesn't mean we won't fight honorably. If we take him down, it will be in a wolf to wolf fight, fair and square.

Blaze looked at me with a blank expression, but I could feel the anger simmering beneath. Even Xavier is a bit pissed off. Good, he should be. I stood up letting him shift fully into his huge black wolf and tackle him again but this time he evades and leads me out of the pack house.

The pack members follow to see the fight between their king and his mate. I access my opponent. He strong, and it will be a lie if I said I have faced stronger. Well maybe except Sam.

But I am faster and I have good stamina. I will have to put that to use.

He too seems to be accessing me. There is a bit of weariness I feel from the bond from Xavier. But Blaze is angrier about the fact that his side of the bond is open to me like a book but he can't get a read on me.

I snarl lunging at him. This is a trick I learned from Sam.

I aim for his face and in the last minute bite his leg and before he can recover from that shock a bite to his underbelly. I repeat this pouncing over his body on both sides as I leave consecutive bite marks on both sides of his body and legs. The only disadvantage of this tactic is that all the wounds are just flesh wounds. They weaken him and that's it.

I step back to access the damage and sure enough, Blaze is panting with anger now. He is in a pool of his own blood and still seems to be in a shock at my speed. I could hear the surprised pack members but I don't want to think about that now.

We have anger. Much more than he could ever come up with. And that is the source of our strength and stamina. This uncontrollable rage makes us a savage, almost undefeated fighter. And Sam thinks it is a good enough source to draw my energy from.

Right in front of my eyes, I see Blaze's wounds heal. He has my same healing ability. How could I forget? I didn't leave anything too deep, unfortunately. Most were just surface wounds, but I can bet that if I were to go deeper, he wouldn't be as fast as me in the healing. The training I received from Sam had me fighting in almost life-threatening conditions. My body is conditioned to fight with fatal wounds so I heal faster. He isn't. He might have got the best teachers around.

But he wasn't taught with the pain I was taught in. Pain was my best teacher.

I lunged for him again but this time he evaded me and his powerful hind legs gave a strong blow to my head. Before I could register his claws has torn through my side ripping apart a bit of fur along with it. But before his jaws could clamp down on my neck, I gave a kick to his head and slipped away.

My wounds too already started to heal and I guess this was new information for Blaze. The pain didn't deter me as much as it did for him. Just like I predicted.

You see when you put too much pressure on your nerves with too much pain, consistently, they get damaged. I guess that is what happened to me. Most of my pain receptors are damaged by Sam's training and this makes me unable to feel pain at some points. Only some points though. Therefore I get weak and dizzy with the loss of blood, not the pain.

My breathing was still under level. Blaze was still panting with the healing wounds. We circled each other, my wolf snarling and snapping at him. He is a good match.

I lunged at him to test the waters. And he evaded me already reading my moves quite well and he tried to jump on me as well but Zian gracefully avoided any contact.

Our strength is speed. And we know how to use it and when to use it. That helps us conserve our energy.

He lunged at me, again and again, getting agitated as I played along with him, taunting him.

At last, I lunged at him but at that moment one of the watchers' mobile rang. The piercing frequency of the call made me stop mid-jump and I could feel my eyes turn involuntarily into the familiar electric blue. Most of the codlings and binary digits became to start coming visible around me as thick lines. The call itself became a distraction even though it was cut. The binary digits and the faint lullaby-like hum from the other phones and devices became take away my attention. I quickly looked at the ground to shield my eyes and Blaze took this opportunity to aim for my neck

I heard someone screaming in the crowd. A female scream and I saw my mom being held back by dad as she fought to get to me. Maternal instincts. My father too seemed to be fighting with his wolf to control himself from getting into the arena. Huh, that's news.

I could feel the bite on my neck and before long warm blood is coating my fur and flowing to the ground. Blaze stays with the hold, without tightening and then concentrates on me again. Xavier is hesitating. But he still used his power to make me submit.

Sneaky.

Sam has taught me how to get out of such compromising positions.

And before he could increase the pressure, I move my body like a wave starting from the front all the way to the back. The shock of it loosens Blaze's hold on my neck and I tear away rotating in his hold even though my flesh tears even more. And then without hesitation, I clamp down on his neck without hesitation.

I bite him down hard from underneath him and step on his tail with all my strength to make him stay in his place.

He howls with pain.

Tsk, so much of pain intolerance.

What a waste.

He claws at my face leaving a mark on my forehead and I give him a long deep slash on his underbelly. His claws dig into my sides and I can feel the blood soaking the grass beneath me. I too dig my claws deeply into his sides.

"No Blaze!" I could hear Jemima Monroe's annoying screaming. I totally forgot about her.

Memories of when he hit me flashes in my head.

"NO!" The other female scream could be heard and I watch as the beta holds my mother back as my father shifts.

My father knocks Blaze off of me and he immediately collapses to the ground. I had also left wounds on his sides.

I growl at him, still lying on the ground, challenging him to still fight me, but my father steps in looking at me with a sad yet weary expression. He licks my bleeding forehead and I hate the feelings it flares up in me. So I step back.

A woman's sobs can be heard and I bet it is my mom.

The match ended in a tie, but I could have beaten him. Damn my father for interfering. I stand up, my feet wobbling due to the blood loss but before I could attack Blaze, he shifts to his human form. He lies on the ground, curled due to the wounds on his stomach that were deep. It will take a while for him to heal as his training wasn't right. Just as I predicted.

I was trained by a king after all.

He glared at me and I could feel Zian's irritation at him looking in our eye even though he is the king. My father rubbed against me as I willed Blaze to shift back. But the coward seemed to be too weak from the fight. I could also feel Xavier pleading me through the mate bond to open up to him.

Cowards they are.

I could feel my father's disproval at my wounds and he shifted back right in front of me, someone quickly handed him a trouser.

Now that the fight between us subsided, pack members rushed to their king. I wanted to growl at them in frustration. This isn't in over for us. For Zian and me, a fight doesn't finish until one of us dies. Maybe it was because this is the law in the underground mafia fight I had.

This fight was still incomplete. I matched his glare with my own. We were still lying on the ground looking at each other. Someone slipped a white sheet over me. I see my mother hovering over me with concern along with a few other pack members expecting me to shift. My wolf sneered but seeing that the fight was finished I shifted back. Still keeping my eyes on Blaze's, glaring at him and letting him know this isn't over.

He kept my gaze and if he was offended, he still couldn't fight because he wasn't trained that much at endurance with pain. Probably as they don't expect him to easily get such fatal wounds in the first place. He was a fighting prodigy after all.

Soon, pack members crowd around us checking our wounds and Blaze is the first to tear his eyes away. Jem is already wrapped around him, smothering him in her tears and I roll my eyes. He winces as the bleeding still doesn't stop. I could feel a gentle hand check my wounds too but I hold the finger tightly.

I would have broken it if I didn't see that they were my mother's. My father hovered above us with so much concern on his face. Where was all this concern when I needed it? My parents shift their concerned gaze from Blaze to me and I guess they understand that I am his rejected mate. My mom even looks at Jem with a bit if irritation and disproval.

She looks at me with pain, accessing my condition. I must look worse than I feel. I don't feel any pain. This is nothing compared to Sam's training.

I know how to take care of myself and I hate being touched.

"Don't... touch me" I let her know with some difficulty as I got up on my own, wrapping the sheet around myself. My wounds, already healing.

Injury-wise I was the same as Blaze, but I healed much, much, much faster. I could see my vision starting to clear. The beta and one of the guards held up Blaze, he was hardly able to walk.

''This isn't over" I let him know. He looked a bit taken aback that while he needed two human crutches, I was able to move on my own. Maybe he will feel some fear for me now. Take me into consideration. Maybe make him see the possibility that he was closer to losing than winning.

But instead, all I got was a smirk. He was definitely impressed, that I felt from the bond. But is it possible that he held back? Or maybe he has some hidden talents like me? I don't think so. Probably just an offender tattoo similar to mine.

Maybe he didn't go to his full potential like me. That must be it.

I scowled at him before taking a one-eighty degree and walking past the crowd into the pack house to clean up.

Many were stunned that I was able to stand up on my own let alone walk straight with all these injuries, looking at me as if I were a zombie.

I held the red stained sheet close to myself. Pathetic.

They have seen nothing yet.

My parents suddenly decided to become the doting type as they tried to follow me with worried expressions. Oh, so now they are worried?

"Leave me alone," I told them

"I don't need your help." I sneered and walked up the stairs to the pack house. I certainly left a mark on them. That much I am sure. I know many of them are thinking I am in no way an incapable queen, unlike Jem. Which is good for status, but I won't choose to go with him now.

Sam is going to go haywire though. I can feel it. Lexi might have already informed him as my phone was on when we were in the hall. That big tatter tale. I am going to get it from him in huge doses.

Oh boy, I will be in for a long night.     

Ooh the real Zara is coming out to play. Hope you liked it.

Continue Reading

You'll Also Like

132K 3.2K 20
Cordelia Gray and her twin Connor Gray were born during the war between werewolf packs. The war lasted longer than any of the packs would've guessed...
336K 11.4K 40
I will give you hint, that douche bag that just ditched me, his own mate, for soccer practice is the guy that I am talking about. That should have be...
596K 15.1K 22
Werewolf / Romance / Thriller This story is not the typical reject story where the girl get rejected by her alpha mate, and she run away and get back...
1.7M 41.6K 58
One more step and my whole life changes. I'll become a rogue, all the connections I have with the pack will be lost. Do I really want to do that? Do...