Trevor
"Wait, what? You decided to go tonight?" My brother asks me with surprise hidden in his voice as I pull over my white button down Versace shirt to match my navy blue Calvin Klein pants.
"Correct. Is there a problem?" I ask him because I could hear in his voice that he has a problem with me going.
"Zendaya is gonna be there." He tells me as I button up that last button on my shirt. It's crazy how we broke up with each other almost two years ago but somehow Iyn always know how to mention her name. It's like he wants me to move on from her while he's still stuck in the past.
"Of course your ass would know." I mutter under my breath and a part of me wanted him to hear me just as much as I didn't at the same time.
"What nigga?" He gets up from my bed and I sigh frustratingly as he does. For the past couple of years, whenever I decide to attend an event this guy always finds out if Zendaya will be attending as well. Sometimes it's helpful to be honest because I didn't think I was ready to see her in person. Everyone has read about her explaining her past relationship at least once in an magazine interview or online. Fans who look closely into Zendaya's life could put two and two together and figure out that she was talking about me. It's obvious; it's not rocket science or anything.
But now? I'm annoyed. It's 2018 and he's still doing this same shit and I'm utterly tired of him. He swears I needa just move on and forget about her yet he's always updating me about her. He even told me that Zendaya watches Grownish as if I needed to know that. At this point in my life, I'm done caring about if Zendaya and I will run into each other, life's gonna go on whether or not we ever see each other again. For about two years, I've managed to not even be in the same building as her and I'm tired.
"You always know if Zendaya's gonna be at the same damn event I'm going to but did it ever occur to your ass, that I don't give a fuck? We're both in the acting industry and we might have to go to the same events, I mean it's bound to happen one day. But I'm not worried about that like you are. If I see her, then fine but I don't need you telling me if she's going to the Grammy's tonight, damn Iyn." I sigh in frustration as he looks at me, longer than I expected. His emotions look like a mix of anger, confusion, and maybe surprise? But I don't even care about about that right now. He walks out of my room silently, leaving me in the room by myself.
[+++]
It's the end of the award show and I haven't even seen Zendaya not once. She wasn't a presenter or anything and I didn't see her on the red carpet either. At this point, I'm not even sure why Iyn never wanted me to go to the same event Zendaya was attending because nine times out of ten, I won't even see her out of the hundreds of people who go to events.
I check the time on my phone and it reads, 11:43 pm. I put it back in my pocket and look up only to be met with the eyes of Zendaya. I'm starstruck, I think. Not by her beauty alone, but by the fact that I haven't seen her in person, literally in over two years. She drops both her hands to her side as she looks at my irises, Darnell, I think is his name, looks at the both of us awkwardly with his mouth slightly open.
"Ima be right here Z, lemme know if I gotta beat somebody's ass." He tells Zendaya, loud enough for me to clearly hear him. She smiles at him before he walks past me, eyeing me up and down in the process. Obviously Zendaya didn't waste time telling him about me.
"Hey." She croaks, stepping up a little. We're about three feet apart but the tension between stretches much larger than that.
"Hi." I say, almost lost for words. "I'm surprised you're speaking to me after a year and a half." I put my hands in my pockets.
"Well, you're lucky I'm even talking to your ass at all." She folds her arms, staring at me intensively.
"Alright Zendaya." I didn't exactly expect her to be nice about seeing me anyways. I mutter and walk past her but she grabs my forearm. I sigh as I look at her and her eyebrows furrow while she looks back at me.
"Congrats on the Superfly remake." She lets out and for some reason I feel like that's not what she originally wanted to say. "I guess you didn't waste time feeling sorry for yourself." She let's go of my arm and I look at her curiously.
"Was I supposed to feel sorry for myself forever?" I ask her with all honesty. She rolls her eyes at me and tightens the grip she has on her clutch. "And you acting like I didn't feel bad about what happened between us at all."
"You don't get to feel bad Trevor." She yells at me, knowing that not one person was around us to hear it. "You cheated on me, I'm the victim here." She cries out.
"That doesn't mean I'm not sorry for what I did! Damn, our break up hurt me probably more than it hurt you." I look at her intently. "While you over here running around with that white boy." I suck my teeth.
"Bullshit. You have a whole ass girlfriend!" She tells back at me.
"I broke up with Diany so–"
"Don't say her name!" Her voice breaks towards the end and I could feel the hurt through her words. "Man Trevor, I've been all over the world, and not once did I ever think about cheating on you. And don't act like boys didn't try to shoot their shot. But because my love ran so deep for you, I knew how to control myself and your sorry ass couldn't do the same."
"You're right." I say firmly, causing her to give me a curious look. "But you have to understand, you can't pin this all on me." I say to her in defense. She looks up at me and walks forward in her tall heels and before I could even think, she brings her hand up to meet my face forcefully, slapping my face so hard, that I'm sure she made an imprint of her hand on it. Immediately, I bring my hand up to my face to help the pain.
"I am so damn sorry for not being able to be with you every second of the fucking day. But I'm a busy woman, I was starring and producing my own show, working on two movies, doing photo shoots and appearances so what did you expect?" She asks me rhetorically.
"I expected you to be there when I needed you most." I admit and she rolls her eyes.
"And I expected you to understand that my schedule didn't center around your ass! Especially because you're in the industry just like me. I mean, I was there for you as much as I was physically able to. But that wasn't enough for you right?" She rests her hands on her hips and I shake my head.
"You're completely right. But don't act like what happened between us didn't affect me too just because I didn't tell Vogue I went through a horrible break up." I reply to her, still recovering from her slap.
"No, you don't get it, do you Trevor? You've scared me for life. The only relationship I've ever been in ended because my sorry excuse for a boyfriend cheated on me. I had my first kiss with you, my first date, my first valentine, I even– I slept with.." She sighs as she drops her eye contact from me to look at the ground beneath her. "I don't think I'll ever be able to even love again without thinking I'm falling too hard or my boyfriend might– might cheat on me." Her voice cracks again. And instead of giving her a response that would anger her, I simply nod and actually comprehend what she said.
"Look, Zendaya. I know no amount of sorry's will ever be enough to fix what happened between us. I know fucked up, badly, but I regretted what I did ever since. You know me better than anyone and you know I would never do anything to deliberately hurt you. And as a promise to you and myself, I won't stop trying to regain your trust but only if you allow it because being with you was and still is the most amazing four years of my life." I say honestly to her, looking deep into her eyes to make her aware of the fact that I meant every word that I said.
Zendaya
"And as a promise to you and myself, I won't stop trying to regain your trust but only if you allow it because being with you was and still is the most amazing four years of my life." Trevor concludes before walking away and I can't help but let the tear that has been building up in my eye drop, sliding down the side of my face as I look straight ahead from me.
Call me crazy, stupid, or dumbass for all I care but like he said, I knew him better than anyone and I can easily tell when he's telling a lie or not and in this case?
He wasn't.
He was be completely and utterly honest with what he said. I don't know if it's the fact that I haven't been with someone since him or I'm just bored but something told me to give him another chance.
"You good, Z?" Darnell, my assistant, asks as he walks up to me and rubs my back, looking side to side, probably searching for Trevor. "Does someone need an ass beating?" Darnell asks with all seriousness and I just simply shake my head at him.
"No. But um, be sure that Trevor gets my number by the time we get home." I walk off as Darnell is almost starstruck by my words.
"I'm so-sorry huh? How we go from ass beating to feeding him with your number? Did I miss something?" He catches up with me, being sure not to step on the train of my dress.
"He was being honest for the first time since almost two years ago. I can't just leave our conversation at that."
"Yes, you can. See look." He holds his hands slightly in the air and pauses for a moment. "This is us leaving the conversation at that." He nods at me, in hopes to change my mind but I don't budge. I wanna test this out with Trevor.
"Darnell, get him my number before I fire your ass." I point my finger at him and he backs his face up a bit before I walk away from him. I can hear him muttering something from behind me.
"You always say that shit but you know good and well you ain't gonna fire me. I'm the best assistant your ass ever had, ain't nobody out there who can replace me, I'm"
"Darnell, you're the only assistant I've ever had, shut up!" I turn around to tell him before cracking a smile as we walk off together.