the wait

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So the other day I had a dream about Zevor so I just thought I should share it with you guys. A little more of this, I added but the main thing that happened I dreamt about. ☺️

"You sure you aren't hungry Zendaya?" My mom asked.

"Yes, I'm sure but thanks anyways." I said sadly.

"Are you okay?" Her face was full of compassion.

"Yeah, I'm fine mom. Everything's.. Fine." I sighed and went to my bedroom.

The truth was, I wasn't okay. I hadn't been eating as much, not even icecream, and I've been almost sorta depressed for two weeks now.

I'm missing Trevor like crazy. But I don't know why. Two years ago when I was putting out so many new songs, I was on tour for almost 4 months and I didn't see Trevor personally all through out..

But now Trevor's been on tour for only a month and a half for his new mixtape I can't control myself. I still have to wait a whole month to see him again and it's only getting worse.

I lost my train of thought as soon as Bella came rushing through my door.

"Okay. You weren't answering any of my calls or texts and may I remind they were 46 in total." She said while walking towards me and sat by me on my bed.

She looked at me closely and I mean really looked at me and finally noticed that I literally looked like death.

"Zendaya.. What's going on?" She asked and I just rudely ignored her, I didn't want to talk about this because I absolutely hate talking about my feelings. Especially towards Trevor.

"Z, talk to me. I haven't seen you this sad since you found out Shake It Up was coming to an end. Actually, you weren't even this sad."

I didn't say a word, I knew if I did I would have a complete meltdown.

"Zendaya." She said in a more calming voice. I still didn't budge.

"Is it about Trevor?" That's all it took. As soon as I heard his name I broke down and put my face in the palm of my hands.

Bella scooted next to me and let me cry on her shoulder. I'm so glad I have her for a friend.

Bella knew that's what triggered me and her being her, she pressed on the subject.

"What did he do? What's going on?" Bella asked.

I sighed and tried to gather my thoughts together.

"Bella, I don't know what's going on.. When Trevor left for his tour I didn't take it so hardly you know? I didn't think much of it. I'll see him in two and a half months. But now.. I can't do it." I said while wipping my tears.

"What do you mean?" She asked me and put my hand in hers.

"I need to see him. I need to talk to him face to face. I need to feel his touch again. I need to be wrapped in his arms again. I need him to be right here with me right now." I said barely getting out half the words because I was crying so much.

"Aw, Zendaya. I know how much you miss him but you can't let him get to your head. You have priorities and you need to get to them. Don't let Trevor keep you like this." I loved how honest she was with me.

"No, Bella it's not Trevor. It's me. I've never told anyone one this but I really love him, more than anything. And being this far from him, I can't control myself." I sniffed.

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