EDITED December 2019
Walking through my apartment door, a sudden wave of relaxation hits me. I'm home and ready to try to get rid of my hangover. I can forget all about my morning with the jackass.
I can already smell Willow's essential oils in the air which means she's home. As soon as I walk into the living room, I see her sitting on the couch with a beaming smile.
Ever since I turned sixteen, two years ago, Willow and I have been living together. My childhood best friend introduced us and it was like a best friend match made in heaven. Both of us had dreams of going to New York. Both of us had modeled a little but wanted to do more. Secretly I wanted to pursue my dreams of singing but that quickly dimmed. Feeling like a small fish in a big pond really tore down on my confidence.
" Tell me everything!" she demands.
I let out a sigh followed but a chuckle at her excitement. Finally being able to take off my heels, I throw them across the living room to where all the rest of our shoes are. I plop down on the couch next to her.
" I don't remember most of it" I admit.
Willow rolls her eyes and starts playing with her wavy blonde hair.
" I remember going back to his hotel room and then having sex with him but it's more like flashes" I shrug.
" So how was it?!" she smirks.
I blush thinking of it. I can still taste his warm minty mouth on mine. I can still feel his grip on me. But the memory gets ruined by replaying Harry's voice the next morning.
" He was such an asshole this morning" I groan.
" What did he say to you?" she asks.
I lean down and pick up the bottle of Advil Willow had laying around and pour two pills out into my hand.
" He was just rushing me out of the hotel. He wouldn't even be bothered by my name" I explain to her before swallowing the pills with some water. " He's just a jackass. Harry Styles isn't worth talking about" I roll my eyes.
" Oh trust me, he is" Willow giggles.
I playfully slap her before leaning down again. I lay down and place my head on Willow's lap. Her comfort is all I need when I'm hungover like this.
" I'd hate to be his girlfriend right now" she comments.
" Girlfriend?..." I ask sounding more like a whisper.
" You didn't know?" she chuckles.
A sudden feeling of guilt starts spreading over my chest. I should have known it once he started rushing me out of the room and the hotel itself. It's the only time in my life that I wish I read gossip magazines or followed gossip pages on Instagram. I would have known the truth if I did.
I wish Willow would have warned me once she realized I was with Harry. She knows everything. She subscribes to most of those magazines and her favorite show is TMZ I think she's into those things because she wants to be one of them deep down inside.
Worry also starts to flow through my mind. I know there are pictures of me leaving the hotel with Harry.
" It's that actress, Lia James" Willow says.
It doesn't take me more than one second to realize who she's talking about. But when I do, my eyes widen.
Lia James. Lia James is the actress that is in all the new movies. She talent ranges in drama to comedy. I've seen at least three of her movies. Her name is all you hear about in the movie industry.
A strange sense of pity runs through my heart. It makes me sad to think of how delusional she must be dating Harry Styles. He must treat her like crap. Cheating on her repeatedly.
Now I'm the girl he cheated on her with.
~
As soon as the shoot ends, I'm thankful I took a nap after my conversation with Willow. This shoot was tougher than I had expected. Not that there were more looks, but the photographer wanted harder poses held longer. It was a challenge and I pray that it looked decent. The last thing I want is for my agency to call me complaining.
As I change back into my own clothes, I watch some of the other models around each staring at a phone screen.
" He's out with a girl?" one of them scoffs.
" Yep, this slut right here" the other points out.
" Who are you guys talking about?"
I look over to see another girl walking towards them.
" Harry Styles"
I freeze. My mind starts to wonder if they are looking at pictures of me that were taken this morning leaving the hotel. One of the girls looks over to me. She looks as if she were about to ask a question but her expression changes. Her gaze lasts longer than I wish it did.
" You're the girl!" she yells out. The other girls look over immediately. Some of them with a shocked expression and others clearly annoyed.
I look down as an attempt to hide my face but it clearly doesn't work because they continue to talk about me as if I wasn't there. The sudden realization that there were pictures of me with Harry out there feels like the worst possible news. People are already talking about me without me even having the power to control or stop them.
" What a fucking slut" one of them hisses. I wish Willow was here.
I grab my bag from one of the chairs and rush out of the room before I can any of them say anything else. As I wait outside the building for a cab, I feel my phone buzz in the back of my pocket. I swipe it out and see why it's my agent calling me.
" Hey Gina" I say as I flag down a cab. But the blow right passed me.
" Hey kid, I know you just came out of shoot but I need you at a meeting in twenty minutes," she says without taking a breath. I can tell she's excited from her tone.
" What is the meeting for?" I ask.
" I can't tell you right now but we'll explain it as soon as you get here" she says.
" Okay, just give me the address" I roll my eyes with a smile.
I'm finally able to call over a cab and he stops right in front of me. I open the cab door and quickly get in.
" Just tell the driver to take you to the Capital Records Building".
~
The whole ride towards the Capital Records building I'm still in awe at Gina's location. As the driver pulls up to the building, I'm frozen in the back. The driver has to literally tell me to get out.
I give him some cash and get out of the car much slower than I should have. I look down at my clothes and groan at Gina because she didn't prepare me for any kind of meeting. Jeans and a white tank top was what I would have worn to go into the Capital Records building.
Walking inside the main lobby, I'm directed to go straight to the elevators and up to the 20th floor. The elevator ride is quiet even with three other people inside. Their eyes stayed connected to their phone to barely notice me, I'm thankful though. Their suits make my jeans even more noticeable.
Finally the elevator doors open and I'm able to escape the small intimidating space. But as soon as I start making my way closer to the receptionist's desk I feel intimidated again. The women has a bright red lipstick on with her hair pulled back. She has a serious expression on her face as she holds the phone close to her ear.
I stand in front of the desk and wait for her to acknowledge me. As she continues to talk to someone on the other line, I take a quick glance around and see only a couple of other people sitting on the comfortable looking chairs. There's a young guy with a guitar in his hands along with a middle-aged man next to him, his manager I assume. On the other side of the room is a blonde girl with the typical bubble gum pop look on her phone.
Was this an audition?
" Name?" the receptionist asks bringing my attention back to her.
" Cailin Reed" I quickly say before she thinks I'm an idiot.
" Take a seat. They'll call you in a bit" she nods at me holding her same serious expression.
I nod, walking over to one of the chairs to take a seat. As I watch my legs shake, I wonder where Gina is. I have hoped she was already here waiting for me.
Other than the soft music playing from the ceiling speakers, I feel like everything is silent and heavy. My heart won't stop beating almost out of my chest. I pray no one can hear it. The worst part of the waiting is not knowing what I'm doing here exactly.
But when the elevator doors open again, silent is gone.
" Louis! So nice to see you again!" the receptionists says with a smile.
" Always nice to be here" he smiles back.
Louis. As soon as I see him, I know exactly who he is. He is Louis Tomlinson from All Oblivion. The same band that Harry is in. I now realize that this is the same record label that All Oblivion is signed to.
Louis looks over and catches me staring at him. I immediately look away, embarrassed.
" What's your name?" he asks as I hear his footsteps walk closer to me.
" Cailin" I say look back up.
" So you're the girl" he chuckles.
" What girl?"
I start to wonder if he as well had already seen the pictures of me walking out of the hotel with Harry this morning. What if I'm here because of those pictures? What if they just wanted to yell at me about that? Shit, I want to leave.
" I'm sure you're about to find out" he says nodding toward something behind me.
I look over to see Gina and a man standing by the glass doors.
" Come on in Cailin" the man smiles.
I'm hesitant but Gina's smile makes me a little more comfortable. Nothing could be that bad.
I pick myself up from my seat, giving Louis a small smile before walking over to Gina and the man beside her.
" Cailin, this is James" Gina says with a bright smile on her face. It's a nervous kind of smile. One that I almost never see.
James puts his hand out. I glance down at it for a second before placing my hand in his. It's a lot firmer than I expected.
They lead me down the hall, stopping once they reach the door they want. James opens the door to reveal a large round table with at least a dozen people surrounding it. My nerves grow with all their eyes glued to me.
" So this is the girl?" a woman says with her eyes traveling down my body.
" What will the boys think?" a man asks.
Boys?
" They aren't going to like the idea either way as Louis said. They're just going to have to get used to it" the other shrugs.
" What are they talking about?" I ask Gina who sits beside me. She stays quiet.
James holds a calm demeanor as he sits on the other side of me with a small smile.
" We can explain it all Cailin" James says. He looks down the table and nods his head slightly.
Another man looking at him nods back. His eyes meet mine and my stomach flips.
" All Oblivion has the possibility of becoming one of the biggest musical groups of the decade. They are set to come out with their debut album in a couple of months" the man says.
Silence takes over my mind. Is this about Harry? Fuck. What do they know?
" But something is missing" James says across from me. His eyes lock on mine, looking for something in me. " By adding a female singer into the group, we believe All Oblivion will stand out from all the rest. We need All Oblivion to be different. The industry will eat it up!"
My mind starts to spin. I have so many questions. The answers are right in front of me yet, my mind is too clouded to understand.
" We've seen dozens of videos of you online. Your singing and personality. We've been following you for a couple of months now. You would be an amazing fit with All Oblivion" he says.
Did he just say that?
" But..." I start to say but nothing else comes out.
Gina slightly elbows me, warning me not to mess anything up. This is my dream. Right here yet so unbelievable.
" It's an amazing offer no one would pass up kid" the man from down the table says. I look down at my fingertips trying to process it all.
It's true. I can reach it. But I'm scared. " I don't know..." I admit.
The big picture is easy. This would be my opportunity to become the singer I've always wanted to be. But it's the details that are making me shake. What if they all hate me? What if their fans hate me?
" I knew she wouldn't be ready" someone scoffs.
I look up again to try to catch them, but I don't know who said it. Maybe they're right.
" Take the offer" James whispers.
Gina beside me nods her head urging me to accept. My mind is spinning.
" It's a contract for a year. If in a year, you no longer want to be in All Oblivion anymore, you can walk away" one of them explains to me. Another one pushes a contract across the table and stops once in front of me.
A year of obligation? Am I prepared for the unknown?
I look over at Gina again. A woman I've only known for the past couple of months is who I'm searching for reassurance from. Not the person I've always expected to be by my side when my dreams come true. All I've ever wanted was him.
Tears begin to blur my vision as I look back down at the contract, but I quickly blink them away.
As I try to read the contract in front of me, one of the men across the table begins bombarding me with a list of obligations and rules I'll have to follow if I sign the contract.
The interviews, concerts, meetings. The looks, manners, relationships. The secrets of show business I'll have to keep.
A pen is placed next to my hand by James. I glance over at him, looking for the same kind of reassurance I searched for in Gina. His soft smile calms my heart. Ignoring my fears completely.
I take the pen in my hand and take a deep breath. My life can change in many ways that I won't be able to control.
I quickly sign my name at the bottom before I change my mind.