Just For Show (EDITING)

Chapter 5 - " you're a rock star, go trash a hotel room"

I would have never imagined life in this business could be as crazy as it is. Traveling across the country every minute of every time. Rehearsing every minute available. And when we weren't rehearsing, we were performing on TV shows and giving interviews.

Obviously we weren't playing our cover of 'lucky' over and over again. We played also played some of their old songs which luckily very easy to switch around so it'd make sense for me to sing as well.

Changing the songs a bit up made Harry furious and he hated it. But on camera, he acted like a completely different person. He acted like he actually liked me.

As for the other boys, I loved being around them.

Louis, I had learned was the kind that protected us. I felt safe around him as if anything bad was going to happen he would be the one I wanted to be around. He didn't let anyone push me around, not even his fans. Sometimes when interviewer would try to ask me uncomfortable questions, Louis would step up and change the subject. It was nice to have that kind of relationship with him.

Zayn had literally become the friend that I just goofed around with. We loved playing pranks on each other and just messing with each other. We didn't take each other seriously at all which was exactly what i needed.

Harry and I didn't really talk. But when we did it was mostly because we were against each other on something, usually in the studio when we were recording or writing a song. Harry's writing was amazing, I couldn't disagree but every time I wanted to put my input in the song he would lash out at me. Since I didn't put up with his crap, I would lash out right back at him.

With all the traveling, seeing Willow everyday became impossible. I missed seeing her. I missed working with her. I still talked to her everyday but it wasn't the same thing.

At the moment we were in LA, mostly for recording our album was fun and at the same time frustrating. La was so different than I was used to. I've been to LA before for jobs but New York was always home I guess.

I didn't think it was possible but people here are a lot stranger than people in New York. It wasn't bad it was just something I had to get used to.

The label had booked us rooms in the most amazing hotel I had ever been in. Usually at one of my modeling jobs, they would put us all in a single room. It wasn't horrible but there wasn't much room. Now I had a room all to myself and it was starting to get extremely boring.

I sat up on my bed and opened up my laptop. Something that I started doing and hated myself for doing it was going on TMZ. In a weird way I wanted to know what they were saying. Usually I didn't care what they said but I just had to read it.

The site had pictures of me taking pics with fans and pics of the press conferences we had gone to. Then there was a silly picture Zayn and I had taken together. I remember taking that. It was something we had started doing, taking mostly silly pictures together.

Harry hated when we did that. I think he's that way because he's secretly jealous, it something Zayn used to do with him. But ever since I got in the band Harry's been in a bad mood so he wouldn't do it anymore with Zayn.

As I scrolled down to view the comments, most of them were the usual:

" such a whore"

" she's destroying the band"

Then there were the ones who actually liked me:

" her voice is great!"

" finally and girl in an awesome band"

" making the boys a lot more fun"

Then there were the ones I had never heard before:

" she's probably dating Zayn, just look at them together"