Description: You are way too open about your feelings for Tamaki... but maybe he secretly likes it.
Still deciding on the contest. Gonna wait and make a decision until the end of Amajiki Week. Been writing a whole lot and haven't had much time.
You were never raised to hide your feelings. In your family, honesty was always the best policy, even when people didn't ask for it, nor accept it. In your most humble opinion, love is a beautiful emotion, one that should be expressed freely. It ought to make the receiver feel valuable and appreciated, or at least that's the reaction you expected from Tamaki...
"Ugh..." He groaned, covering his face with his hands. A few curious classmates had approached your lunch table, asking if the two of you were dating, to which you replied:
"'Course we are! Right, Tamaki?" It was all in jest, as he had never agreed to be romantically involved with you, but you couldn't help but enjoy his flustered reactions. You were utterly addicted to Tamaki's sweet blushes and you were certain that he knew it. You confessed your feelings to him pretty much on a daily basis, so there was no way he didn't know. He never gave you a straight acceptance of your love, which begged the question of whether or not he was actually interested. On the other hand, he hadn't outright rejected you either, so you figured this was just an early stride in winning Tamaki's affections, a necessary step on a long staircase you were willing to climb if he was the end prize. You smiled as he put his head down on the lunch table and Mirio provided him a consoling pat on the back.
Neither he nor Hado ever stopped your mischievous proclamations of love for the raven-haired boy. They simply found your openness refreshing and cute, especially pleased that your fondness was directed toward their shyest friend. They knew how self-conscious he was and were overjoyed to witness him receive so much recognition.
But Tamaki didn't exactly feel that way. Each time you would say such things, he would get terribly flustered and embarrassed. It wasn't that he disliked you or anything like that. In fact, he rather enjoyed your company... when you weren't doing things like this that is... It was all just too fast for him- MUCH too fast. He always imagined when he first started dating a girl that they would slowly grow into their feelings together, at the same pace. He pictured shyly passing notes to someone sweet and quiet like himself, over time becoming a little more daring in sharing glances, and maybe one day confessing beneath the cherry blossoms. Somewhere secluded, romantic and intimate. This, on the other hand, was sort of like being punched in the gut by love. The affection being thrown his way came swifter than a trained greyhound careening towards its prey at warp speed. In these situations, Tamaki didn't have time to feel butterflies when his gut was churning with anxiety from the sudden abruptness of your adoration.
Amajiki could not get used to your unexpected compliments, no matter how often you fired them. He knew that he wasn't smooth when you flirted with him. He wasn't capable of coming up with a quick-witted response on the spot like some other boys could, and this made it all the more painful when those moments came.
"W-why did you say that?" He clenched his eyes shut, not having the willpower to sit up and look you in the eyes. You swept over to him and took his hand in yours.
"Because you're so cute, Tamaki!" He clenched his other fist on the table, ears burning red. You giggled when he let out a helpless little noise before finally letting the poor boy rest. "Well, I'll let you guys get back to lunch. I have to help before the party tonight."
"Party?" Amajiki mumbled towards the floor.
"Yeah. You all are coming, aren't you?" Hado and Mirio nodded. You turned back to Amajiki. "You'll be my date, right Tamaki?" To which you just received an exasperated whine.
You turned on your heels, leaving them alone. 'He'll come around.' You told yourself with a confident smile, wiggling with excitement for this evening's upcoming events.
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"Hey guys! I'm so glad you came!" You gave each of the three a welcoming hug, lingering a little longer on Tamaki. He must have mentally prepared for it because he wasn't as flustered as usual. To the contrary, he was almost a little standoffish. You briefly wondered if Mirio had given him a pep talk, told him to loosen up or something.
Between munching on snacks and socializing, at some point you had lost track of your favorite person. Out on the dimly lit porch is where the majority of people dwelled, so you knew that's exactly where you wouldn't look for him.
Just as you suspected, you found him in the kitchen alone, perhaps hiding? It was no surprise, as you knew he wielded a strong distaste for crowds, especially ones that he did not know very well.
"Hi, Tamaki." You said softly, approaching him. He peered over his shoulder at you. "Are you having fun?"
"Uhm... yeah..." He sounded a little unsure about his answer so you gifted him an understanding smile.
"The crowd sure is noisy, huh?" You slid between him and the snack table. Finally a conversation he could relate to. He nodded. "Sometimes I just need a quick break from all the commotion, you know?"
"Y-yeah. I understand completely..." He smiled, noticing your quiet tone, being thoughtful of his feelings. Honestly, Tamaki was grateful. He had to give credit where credit is due. It was a strange, yet pleasant, contradiction to your other side. Generally in public, your flirting was- for lack of a better word- ruthless. But in quiet moments together like this, he felt that you truly cared for him, and he appreciated it.
"Are you hungry?" You examined the spread of food on the table. "Nejire made some dessert." You grabbed a small plate of it and slipped it into his hands gently, brushing his fingers as you did so.
"Oh. Th-thanks... I usually don't eat many sweets... since I developed my quirk and all..."
"Aw. I don't believe that." You grinned, meeting his midnight eyes. "Since you are what you eat, you must eat a lot of sweet treats."
He looked down and blushed. Okay... he had to admit, that one gave him butterflies. But it helped that there wasn't anyone else watching, and you had a warm genuine smile on your face, not the mischievous one you wore from time to time. But it also made him wonder why, if you were actually so gifted at reading him, that you choose to embarrass him so.
Before he had a chance to respond to your sweet comment, he was interrupted by a group of partygoers gathering to play truth or dare. Amajiki felt a rush of nerves. He had a bad feeling about this. He was never good before crowds, and doing intentionally embarrassing stuff in front of them didn't fall onto the list of things he considered fun.
"I... should probably get going..." He squeaked, wanting to avoid this atrocious game.
"Come on, Tamaki." A comforting hand graced his forearm. "Just play for a little while." You pouted your lips. "You haven't even had a chance to eat the desert I gave you."
That damn peer pressure constrained him once again and he sat next to you in the circle on the porch. But he swore to only stay until he finished his dessert, not a moment longer. You felt a mild pang of guilt sitting next to the unsuspecting ravenette. He had no idea of the scheme already put in place, nor his part to play in it. A few rounds went by, and the dares varied between mild and brutal in Tamaki's eyes. He was thankful that nobody really noticed him or cared to ask him to reveal his secrets. At last your friend smiled at you and asked:
"F/N. Truth or dare?"
"Dare!" You grinned with no hesitation.
"Great. I dare you to kiss Amajiki."
You heard a brief, yet obviously mortified screech from beside you, reminiscent of a banshee in labor. You turned your head to look at the wide-eyed flushed source of the sound, trying to appear surprised at the dare- even though you weren't. You had to give props to your friend for being a fantastic wing-man and doing this favor you asked for.
"Uhm... I don't! Uh!" He shifted his bottom away slightly, feeling as cornered as a mouse in a trap.
"Tamaki..." You caught his attention and he gulped, ensnared in the web of your vivid eyes. You took his hand, trying to express the tenderness welling in your chest. "Can I kiss you?" The way the words left your lips was enticing. They contained within them a disembodied reverence, an intense adoration, and he could feel it envelope his heart. But a loud voice broke the spell.
"It doesn't matter if he says yes or no!" One of the girls guffawed. "It's part of the dare so you have to do it!"
"No!" You asserted back. "I'm not going to lose a friend over some stupid game. If he says no, I won't do it. Simple as that." For a fleeting second, Amajiki saw an out and considered immediately bolting from the area. But the way you asked his permission in defiance of all your peers made him feel special and he didn't want to reject you so openly. Unfortunately, the flame of his bravery quickly blew out with a 'poof' the instant you leaned your face closer to his. The feeling of your fingertips brushing his chin caused his hysteria to skyrocket. He hadn't had time to mentally prepare himself for this. Not so soon! He didn't want to have his first kiss like this, forced and with everyone watching!
Your lips were inches apart now and you caressed his cheek with your thumb, a gentle invitation, leaving him room to choose. Your breath was warm and your touch so welcoming that he almost forgot where he was. But his anxiety was not kind enough to let him be. Out of the corner of his eye he saw several peers snickering, staring. Your lashes fluttered closed, anticipating the sweet affection you have oh-so long awaited from your beloved. At the last second, Tamaki's panic reached its vertex, and he ripped himself from your grasp.
"N-NO!"
"Huh?" You opened your eyes to see a very agitated and embarrassed Amajiki recoiling away from you.
"F/N, stop!" You were surprised by the volume of his voice. The betrayed look in his eyes told you that he knew this was a setup. "I can't do this anymore!" He exclaimed.
"Tamaki, I-"
"You're just being... too forward for me!" You blinked at him, speechless. "I don't like you in that way!"
'Ouch.' There was pin-drop silence. You were pretty sure even the woodland crickets fell still, not daring to infringe upon Tamaki's outburst.
"I see..." Was all you could say. Amajiki had just rejected you, openly... in front of a sizeable group of people. It almost didn't register in your brain, and based on the thick silence of the group, they were having a similar reaction. You dawned your poker face as quickly as you could manage. You could be upset later, in private. You turned back to the dare-giver. "So... does that mean I get to have a truth now?"
"That's not how the game works, F/N." Another girl said.
"Ah." You shrugged. "Alright. I guess that means I'm out then." You got up to leave.
"F/N..." Tamaki squeaked. Now that the attention was off of him, his face softened and he began to regret his words. He tried to ask you to wait, but his words caught in the back of his throat, unable to be heard.
"That doesn't mean you have to leave!" Your friend called.
"Nah. Rules are rules." You said with a swish of the hand. "See you all Monday." And you descended the porch stairs into the darkness.
"Come back!" A few people hollered. "Awww..."
A few minutes passed before Mirio walked out of the house with some chips and dip. "Did you guys stop playing truth or dare already?"
"Yeah."
"Where's F/N?" He squinted around the dim perimeter in search for you.
"She left." Someone said.
"Why?"
"I think Amajiki hurt her feelings."
Tamaki felt his chest tighten at this. He bit his lip and felt guilt wash over him. This time, the cool wall against his forehead held no comfort. Rather than enduring a tiny bit of PDA, he had opted to publically humiliate you instead, making him feel anything but heroic. Perhaps the kiss would have been warm and pleasant... but he would never know for sure, not now.
He tried to mentally tell himself that you might be fine, that you would likely bounce back as you always do, and things would return to normal the very next time he sees you. But a haunting feeling deep in the pit of his nauseated stomach told him he was wrong to assume that...
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Your pillow became wet very quickly from your tears. Go figure you would pick the only boy ever that wouldn't be flattered by your advances. After all that time you had just been fooling yourself. You thought you were making progress with him, but he was just stringing you along, allowing you to believe you stood a chance.
"What a sick joke!" You spat bitterly, ripping off the necklace he got you for your last birthday. You had never taken it off before now, but you decided it belonged as far away as possible from you. You chucked the delicate thing across the room and it landed somewhere in your messy closet, disappearing with one last flicker of gold.
If he even gave a damn about you, he could have said all of those things in private. Or better, done it a long time ago and saved you the humiliation of being rejected after mountains of effort.
You wished you could break his heart the same way he shattered yours. In all honesty, you would never actually do it. But just to have the option is all you really wanted, to know that he even cared enough to be bothered by your absence. But he didn't...
These thoughts were like pieces of glass inside you, cutting you deeper every time you breathed. The wound was flowing like a flood from your heart and you had no way to ease the pain. All you could do is imagine what could have been, if you had that ability within you. But no matter how you tried to comfort yourself with fantasy, the only thing your mind would replay is the heartbreak you were just subjected to. You were a record player, thrown away and stuck on the same song, repeating over and over. There weren't words to describe how you felt about it. What he did... it was just-
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"Cruel..." Amajiki squeezed his eyes shut from the emotional turmoil. "What I said was so awful!" Tamaki knew what he did was wrong. He wished he could take back what he said. He never meant to blow up like that.
He was stressing even more now because it was Sunday and you hadn't texted him, not even once! He always received little sweet texts from you, literally every day. But not Friday... not Saturday... not today either! At the very least, you would always tell him goodnight, followed by a term of endearment like sweetie or cutie.
He had crossed the line, of that much he was certain, and he had no idea how to go about making it up to you. Perhaps he could initiate the text, just this once, and you would answer....
---------------------------
VRRRRR
Your phone vibrated on the night stand.
New Message from Tamaki Amajiki (10:42 pm): Goodnight.
You snarled at the phone, wondering how he had the audacity to message you after what he did. Unfortunately, as Tamaki was your greatest weakness (your kryptonite), you couldn't bring yourself to send him a nasty response. You couldn't even feel hatred for more than a moment. You realized that it would be wrong to be too angry. You can't make someone love you if they don't. It isn't his fault he doesn't share the same feelings, just like it isn't your fault for being so enamored with him.
You stared at the phone. As much as you wanted to ignore it, there was a soft spot still lingering in your heart for him. Knowing Tamaki like the back of your hand, you were well aware that if you didn't respond to his text, his anxiety about your friendship would keep him awake all night. And where that may have been a tempting offer, you couldn't bring yourself to snub the one you loved.
"Goodnight." You left out all emojis and terms of endearment, but at least you answered.
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BLIP
Amajiki gasped, suddenly fumbling for his phone and nearly toppling off his bed.
"Oh..." He frowned at your text. He thought he would be happy if you responded, but somehow this answer was worse than no reply at all. There was no sign of your former affection in that one word.
Sleep evaded him that night and he helplessly grasped at straws, waiting for any sort beautiful apology to spring up from his mind. To his dismay, no poetic phantasm appeared to offer any inspiration, and that left him without words the next day.
He gripped the lunch table tightly as you approached. The smile on your face calmed his anxious heart somewhat, and your friendly tone relaxed him completely.
"Hey guys." You sat down with the three of them. "How was your weekend? Do anything fun?"
"Eh. Not particularly." Mirio shrugged, giving an encouraging smile to Tamaki that said 'see? I told you everything would be okay.'
"I got my nails done." Nejire said.
"Ooh." You regarded her hands. "Pretty." Tamaki stayed silent, still sensing an ominous aura hanging over the table. But maybe it was just him being paranoid... "Hey." You looked up at the dark-haired teen. "Want some of my extra rice, Amajiki-kun?" The whole group blinked at you, dumbfounded. Tamaki looked down.
"You... don't have to be so formal..." It was exactly as he feared, he had created an ultimatum with you, a complete rejection. This wasn't what he wanted. He just wanted to take things slowly. Not in a million years would he try to alienate someone who cared for him so deeply. His worries were heightened when the same group of troublesome people from last week came to the lunch table again.
"So after what happened at the party Friday, are you and Amajiki dating now?"
"No." You deadpanned, not even bothering to look up from your food. Everybody at the table felt the weight of that one word. In a single weekend you had gone from cute little phrases like "Marry me, Tamaki" to a cold dead "No."
"But last week you said-"
"Last week was different. I said no. Let me eat." Normally those classmates would have stayed to tease a little bit more, but based on your grave tone and icy glance, they fell silent and returned to their business. It wasn't meant to come across as harsh as it did, but you knew better now than to continue throwing yourself at Tamaki and risk driving him further away. Therefore you resolved to treat him like everyone else and hope for things to change. Although... if you said you felt no spite whatsoever, you would be lying. Of course you wanted to feel vindicated, to have Tamaki miss you terribly and beg you for things to return to normal. However, you knew this was a pipe dream, one that would never happen.
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This same pattern went on for the rest of the day. During hero training, you didn't flatter him with a single compliment. He was convinced now that you didn't like him at all anymore, let alone love him.
He pondered this once he got home, unease growing by the hour, especially since he went out of his way to invite you to study with him after school and you declined. You had been very polite in doing so, yet he still couldn't shake the stinging sensation radiating from his chest.
'Can people really fall out of love so fast?!' He wondered, flipping through his photos with you on his phone. "I guess when they love someone as ordinary as me, apparently they can..." He frowned, a strange sense of longing leaking into his veins. It was now that he came to a horrible realization...
'Oh no...' This couldn't be happening... It was almost as if... he returned those strong feelings you lavished him with time and time again. He was stricken with a case of only knowing what you have after it's gone. He began to panic, praying that he wasn't too late.
This yearning only increased as the week progressed. Your lack of affection and encouragement left him disappointed and wanting. He missed your doting so much. How could he get through his day without it? He only had once choice: to try and coax the behavior back a little.
Tamaki scooted a little closer to you at lunch today after nearly a week of you hiding your ever-remaining devotion.
"F/N?" He spoke up.
"Yeah?"
"Y-you know... you don't erm-" 'don't say flirt' "...c-compliment me as much anymore..." 'Crap, that sounded really selfish!' But you just shrugged at the observation.
"It made you uncomfortable."
"N-not all the time..." He muttered meekly, frowning at the table.
"I don't want to lose you as a friend because I was just fooling myself. I promise it'll never happen again."
"...Never?" His voice broke, a fitting reflection of the way his heart was feeling.
"Anyway. I have to go." You got up, not even bothering to finish your lunch. "See you later."
"B-bye..." He squeaked. It was even worse than Tamaki had feared. Your love was slipping through his fingers like sand and he was helpless to grasp it. Desperation clawed at his throat. He needed to find a way to make it up to you and he needed to do it fast.
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"But... I don't know anything about grand romantic gestures, Nejire..." To his dismay, his friend had caught him staring, pining as you left the cafeteria, and (very generously, in her opinion) came up with this plan to win you back.
"Just speak from your heart." She insisted, setting up his headset.
"B-b-but wh-what if the words don't come out?!" He was wide-eyed and shaking like a leaf. "Y-you know I don't do well with... crowds..."
"It's the thought that counts." Hado smiled. "She'll appreciate the effort no matter what you say. I'm sure of it."
"H-how do you know that-"
"It's time. Go!"
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You yawned, setting down in your seat in the auditorium. It was time for assembly, a meeting of sorts that the principal used to make important school announcements. This happened every few weeks and was generally pretty boring. That is until now...
Something happened, a scenario you never would have predicted in a million years. There Tamaki was up on the stage, pale-faced and alone. Stiff as a board, he stood, a little farther back from the podium than would be considered normal. Nestled in his locks of hair was a headset microphone. Oh good lord, he was actually going to speak! You wondered who on earth decided to subject his poor soul to such a thing. You felt a jolt of nerves spring up in you for his sake.
"Um..." His tiny voice rose over the loudspeaker.
A hush came over the crowd, obviously very intrigued by this development as well. With nothing to do with his free hands, he wrung them, twisting them shyly and wrinkling his uniform jacket in the process.
"I h-have s-s-ssomething to say..." His voice wavered, quiet and high-pitched. "T-to F/N..." Your mouth fell open. He searched you out among the public, whose heads he was trying his best to imagine as potatoes. When his gaze finally honed in on yours, he flushed red and turned away from the crowd. 'Oh god! This was a horrible idea!' He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to just focus on the feelings he was trying to convey. "I want... I miss... erm..." His speech was literally written on his hand; yet, even still, he couldn't manage to recite it. He began to babble, hoping his emotions would float up in his words somewhere.
They found you at the very least. In his string of mumbled sentences you made out several synonyms of apology as well as a few tiny squeaks about missing you. If you weren't mistaken you could have even sworn he made some comment about wanting you to make takoyaki for him forever. 'Was that Amajiki's way of proposing to me?!'
If you hadn't been so elated by the sweet sentiment, this would have been excruciating to watch. Even so, many of your classmates cringed from second-hand embarrassment.
With his back turned to the crowd, he didn't see you get up and run down the aisle. Snickers rose in the crowd when you clambered up onto the stage with a very wide smile and a wink. Tamaki assumed the laughs were directed towards him and his terrible speech. One swish of the curtain and you were backstage waiting for him.
When he finally finished fumbling over his words, he stole one last glance back at your chair only to find it empty. His heart sank and he sulked off the stage, downtrodden at his failed attempt to win you back. Hair veiling his eyes, he walked right past you.
"Nice speech." His head whipped around at the sound of your voice.
"F-F/N!" He exclaimed, finding you leaned against the backstage wall.
"Wow, Tamaki." You strolled up to him. "That was really forward of you." You raised your eyebrows for emphasis. His heart skipped a beat in horror.
'Yeah, I deserved that...'
"F/N, I'm so sorry." He rambled quickly, trying to spit it out now that the audience was no longer observing him. "I never meant to push you away. I just-"
"I forgive you, Tamaki." You walked up and put your arms around his neck. "I still love you." His eyes lit up, making you grin. "Nothing's changed." He blushed at the floor and returned your smile.
"Really?"
"Oh, except maybe one thing..."
"What's that?" His brow furrowed with worry.
"Now I have a full week of pent up love that needs an outlet. Whatever shall I do about that?" You smirked coyly, twirling your finger in a lock of his hair.
"Uhm... well..." He looked away, face burning hot. "You could... um..."
"Yeah?" You coaxed. Normally this level of teasing would have rendered him unglued; the way your arms were wrapped around his neck and how your chest was pressed firmly against his. But after all that happened and how much he missed you, his impetuous affection began to get the better of him.
"I could... uhm... h-help..." The last word came out quieter than a whisper, but you knew he was trying to be romantic by suggesting it. He paused, looking into your eyes for any sign of hesitation before planting his shaky lips on yours.
"Mmm." You sighed happily into his mouth, pulling him into a tight loving embrace. 'At last...' He couldn't believe he allowed himself to forgo this in the first place. If he had any idea this was what he'd been missing, he would have never passed it up. He felt welcome, warm and appreciated, and he was ever-so thankful that he hadn't been too late.
Your ears filled with the coos and cheers of the audience, obviously rejoicing in the candescence of yours and Tamaki's newfound love. You smiled into the kiss and he let out a breathy chuckle, pulling back to look at you.
"What's so funny?" You asked, gazing into his obsidian eyes.
"Isn't it amazing that the audience happened to cheer at exactly the right moment?" He was tickled by this fantastic coincidence.
"Tamaki... it's because your microphone is still on..."
"WHAAAT?!"
The End