HARRY -
The sky was a light grey, the overcast weather seemed fitting on a day like today, not much sunlight as everyone made their way to the grave, for Harry this was one of the hardest things he had ever done in his life, he had moments with Simon that where unforgettable, and while it hurts that they ended things, there's always a place for him in his heart.
He decided against wearing the skirt to his funeral, the fear of judgment from the people attending a daunting reality, what would be the point anyway? Simon wasn't here to see him in it, he didn't need to impress him. The skirt didn't change anything to do with the outcome of the fatal day, so why bother putting it on again.
Harry wore a blue jumper and some tracksuit pants, not bothering to wear a suit, he walked up to his grave, a black box being his chosen casket. A photo of him was positioned on a stand, a photo that was very beautiful. In it he was smiling wide, his grin ear to ear, his eyes glistening, the blue striking, so vibrant in that photo. The photo was so real, so pure, he wondered for a second when this photo was taken, when was he ever this happy?
He kneeled over the box, wanting to say something, anything, but he couldn't. His knee in the dirt, his eyes near from escaping tears, he couldn't muster up a few words, now didn't seem right. Now felt to pressured, all these people here, all here for the same reason. Here to celebrate a death.
Harry Lewis hadn't spoken a word to anyone since the death, because one again, speech had only caused chaos. Maybe life would've been better if he had never spoken to Simon, never looked at him, never wanted him. He would never have known, and even if Simon had still taken his life, he wouldn't feel the massive pain he feels right now.
Everyone had tried to reach out to the blonde boy in distraught, but his words had evaporated, and his past self had come back into true form, his school work had slacked, his relationship with his family had crumbled, he didn't think he'd ever talk to Callum ever again, they were over.
Harry couldn't do anything, we had words in his head, the apologises, the wishes, the changes he wouldn't done, the goodbyes. All he could feel was hurt, and his chest rose and fell as he breathed heavily, next to a dead body not being able to do anything.
So he got up, and he ran. Ran away from his family, ran away from the unknown strangers. Ran away from the body and ran away from the funeral. He didn't stop running till he had reached the dodgy side of town. He was standing on the side of the road, hidden by trees. Crying. He couldn't go back, not now, not ever.
He waited, Harry waited until a car was coming and leaving town, so he asked for a ride, hopping into a strangers car with none of his stuff, but not ready to return to the place that has caused nothing but bad on him. He sighed, resting his head against the seat. "Rough day kiddo," the deep voiced older man asks him as they pass the sign that exits them out of their stupid small town.
He nods, swallowing the lump in his throat. "I needed to leave, no use for me there."
JOSH AND JIDE -
Josh's mother had them the boys ties as the paced around their house, things hadn't been the same for these boys, a big whole in their lives missing. It was weird, waking up and continuing with their lives without him. JJ still sometimes imagined him walking through that door. Sometimes he waited, sitting on the step, hoping to see a tall, silver headed boy come into view.
It never did.
Josh tried to act like he was strong, the boy not an emotional one, JJ was happy to admit defeat, he could openly cry to his best friend when he needed it. Josh was more stone cold, not wanting to look weak. Inside he knew it was ok to not be ok, that people would understand the situation he was in, but Josh refused to show it.
He dealt with it alone, looking through old photo albums his mum had made, staring at the pictures involving him a little too long, his thumb tracing the outline of his figure, smiling as he looks at his friend when he was younger, when he was alive.
Josh kept his signature lighter in his pocket, he had owned a purple lighter with a red flame on it for the longest time, so Josh carried it around with him. He never used it, because he couldn't get himself too, even if he was desperate for a cigarette, the idea of using it when he knew Simon was so protective over it, seems wrong.
Josh had even slept in Simon's bed, wrapping up in his sheets, while the bed wasn't the most comfortable and dipped where've you laid, he found himself getting peaceful sleep in here, looking around at all his stuff until his eyes shut, Josh struggled to sleep in his own bed, because it sucked knowing that the bedroom next door was unoccupied.
They started to head their way to the funeral, up in the grassy hills of town. Josh and JJ were fiddling around as they drive closer to where it was, feeling a put in their stomach as they pulled into the driveway, the spotted familiar faces, Harry, Callum, Lewis, everyone who had been invited.
They got out of the car, edging closer to the grave, the casket, that moment then JJ broke down. Falling onto his knees as he cried, Josh sat down next to him, not caring about the mud, he hugged his friend tightly as JJ's years dripped onto his shoulder, he didn't care, he let it happen. Let him be.
Josh managed to drag him over to where his body was, and they both said their final goodbyes. JJ went first, his words chocked up in his sobs, but the message was received.
"Simon man, I love you. I'm so sorry that you took your life and I wished you had spoken to us, I wish we had done more to make sure you were ok because without you I'm a mess. We need you, without you it's so sad. Without you we are missing what we need, we need our friend, your like a brother, I need that. Simon I wait for the day you will come back, but you never do. It hurts. It feels like my hearts being ripped out of my body, you wouldn't want is to mourn over you, but it's hard, I love you too much not to."
"Simon, it's been hard. I admit it, I haven't been coping well and it's been so difficult to function without you here. Sometimes I feel like I should just die too, because a life without you isn't a good one. I've got JJ here still, but our group is missing someone vital, we don't even classify as a group anymore, we are a pair, it's fucking shit. I wish you had spoken to us, you know we wouldn't have judged you for having suicidal thoughts, we would of helped you get through this tough time, killing yourself is permanent, I don't know if I can live the rest of my life knowing that you have been terminally erased from this planet."
They both finished their speeches, just sitting in silence next to each other, saying more things inside their head they didn't want to say out loud.
"I miss you Simon, we miss you."
CALLUM
He watched as Harry ran away into the distance, not bothering to go after the boy, fully aware that he needs his own time, needs to cope with this alone. Callum couldn't approach him just yet, they stood on uneven ground, Harry still trying to come to terms with the whole cheating scandal he had. Callum didn't pressure Harry to talk to him, if roles were reversed, he wouldn't acted the same way.
He sat on one of the chairs occupied, not feeling up to go to close. He didn't deserve to be here, he was a new addition into his life, what influence did he have? They got drunk, smoked, and had sex together. He had been his side man, his choice after Harry.
Callum said his words in his head, sitting alone as he thought of so many things that it all rushed out into a blur, his eyes were shut tight, blocking out the sad atmosphere that encompassed him. He thought back to the moments they had kissed, trying to picture a life where they hadn't done such thing.
His shoulder was tapped and he opened his eyes to reveal his Aunty, Harry's mum sitting there. She knew what had gone on with the boys. "Don't put yourself down right now, we are here for Simon."
He nods, looking at the photo of him, his state of happiness.
How could such a beautiful guy end his life?
MR MINTER
He had taken a day off work to go to his sons funeral, and weirdly, he was the only one who was holding it together well. No tears, no wobbling lip, no anxious pacing, just standing to the side, watching as people came and went, not talking to anyone, not until now.
He made his way over to her, his ex wife. She looked the same as when she had left, a few minor changes, the slight ageing on her face, a few more wrinkles and tired eyes. She looked scared when he walked over to her, he shared a tall frame like Simon had, but Simon's wasn't as intimidating as his dad's was.
"Maybe if you hadn't left our boy would've been alive," he whispers harshly into her ear.
"You left too, don't blame this on me," she replies. "I left for a reason, you left because you were selfish, maybe you should follow the same path as our precious little son over here."
"You must've been a terrible father once I was gone," she says.
"At least he has memories of me, what does he have of you, nothing." He says. "You killed our son, you are a monster, a fucking monster, I don't care that I was a shit dad, you killed him."
"He jumped off your rooftop building, why did you leave it unlocked?"
He doesn't say anymore, he leaves, going to the car park and getting into his car, not bothering to say any final goodbyes to anyone. He turns on his car, twisting the key in as he backs up and drives down the road, away from what was suppose to be one of the most heart wrenching days of his life.
He was going back to work.
MRS MINTER
She helped her son die.
She was a terrible mother, much like he was a terrible father.
No wonder he wanted to end his life.
ETHAN AND VIKRAM
"Uno was fun, even if we are all shit at it."
CALLUM AND SARAH
The note left my the principle had left a positive affect in their relationship, it was weird getting feedback from a dead guy, but Sarah took it as a sign that she was good, better than she thought. So on the day of his funeral, Sarah uploaded her first ever cover on YouTube, dedicated to Simon Minter himself.
Callum couldn't be more proud of his girlfriend, and he was thankful Simon had informed him about the gift his beautiful, amazing girlfriend had.
JOSEPH AND ZOE
They didn't manage to talk to Harry, the friends hasn't really talked in a while, making them wonder if their friendship was only just a one time thing when Harry had gotten confidence. Wether that was the case, Zoe treasured the time he had with him, annoyed her father had hurt him. Joseph was glad that at least he had some time with the love of his life, but still felt guilty for the pain he would suffer for the rest of their lives.
They knew Simon well enough that they belonged here, but watching everyone else that was filled with more grief, such as the two boys balled up next to him, the siblings felt a little out of place. They talked to Josh and JJ, giving them moral support for this time, which they thanked them for, before continuing to cry.
ASHLEY
She felt bad. Really bad for what she had done, so she took the time to apologise to him, to apologise to Josh and JJ. She didn't apologise to Harry, him seeing to be missing.
Josh and JJ didn't take her apology well, and told her as nice as possible that she could fuck off back home. She wanted to cry, but she did as she was told, knowing these boys were hurting more than she was, and this day needed to be good for them, and not have her ruin it.
EVERYONE ELSE
Everyone else hurt. Everyone else sympathised with one another. Everyone else knew their lives had changed, and would never be the same.
who knew one person death could be do deadly?