"I know I've told you a little bit about myself," Pastor Ashton grunted as he settled into his seat behind the desk. "But before I explain...how's everyone doing?"
No one else spoke, so I took the initiative. "Tired. I probably spent half the night awake, worrying about...about...my friends."
"I appreciate that, Tomoya," he said warmly. "Thank you."
"Yeah, thanks Tomoya," I heard Kyou echo, and I looked over to see her giving me a small smile.
Overcome by a sudden bout of shyness, I averted my gaze to the floor.
"How about you, Ryou?"
She smiled self-consciously and gave her sister's hand a squeeze. "Same as O-Okazaki-kun; worried about Onee-chan and about you."
"Thank you very much," he said warmly once again, then directed an awkward gaze toward Kyou. "How about-"
"Can I pass on this?" she interrupted.
He snapped his mouth shut, then quickly nodded. "Sure. Sorry."
"So what did you want to talk about?" I asked, trying to give him a push.
"Story. Right." He ran his fingers through his hair, stopping to scratch a particular spot. "To be honest, everything I'm about to tell you Tomoya already knows 'cause I told him at the park yesterday."
"That's why I stopped by this morning, Kyou," I said in response to her look of surprise. "So I could tell you his side of things, and so you could ask questions."
"But now she has the source before her," Jeff said, leaning forward on his desk.
"So..." I prompted again.
"Right. The fact of the matter is; I'm...well...I'm a widower."
Ryou gasped as her older sister's eyes grew wide. "You...what...?" Kyou asked.
"I was married before, but, um...my wife died," he said with a heavy sigh that almost made my chest ache. "Her name was Jessica, which was why I mistakenly referred to you as her," he directed to Kyou. "She would massage my back after particularly rough sessions, so when you...you know..."
"I got it," Kyou said quietly. "I'm sorry if I made you remember something sad."
"It's not like that," he objected. "It actually brought back good memories, which was why it was shocking, in a way."
"I'm sorry for your loss," Ryou offered sympathetically. "I can't imagine what it must have been like."
"Like-" He cut himself off with a tight smile. "Well, let's just say that I sincerely hope that none of you have to go through anything similar."
I groaned as I felt a throbbing in my head, and I saw Nagisa lying on a futon with a baby next to her, and she looked so tired...
"Okazaki-kun, are you all right?" Ryou's worried voice penetrated the fog in my head. "Should we call a doctor?"
I reached out, and I felt her take my hand. "No...I'm okay...I'm just..." The pain subsided as the fog lifted. "That was weird; I saw Furukawa with a baby."
"She's a little too young to be having a baby, isn't she?" Jeff asked.
I shook my head. "The legal age for marriage for girls is sixteen, but...she looked older...not like 'old' older, but older than she is now."
"More mature?" Ryou suggested as she released my hand, much to my disappointment.
"Yeah."
"It might be a vision," Pastor Ashton suggested. "It might be showing you a possibility of...something."
I raised my head enough to give him a look of disbelief. "You really believe in visions? That's just stuff that's in manga and anime."
"And the Bible," he countered. "Joseph was given visions to help with interpreting the pharaoh's dream."
"Oh, yeah," I said, remembering the story that I'd read; it had been a while since I'd read Genesis. "And the guy I'm reading about now is getting a bunch of them. Now I feel kinda stupid."
"Okazaki-kun..." Ryou giggled.
"It's just a suggestion," Jeff said. "If you are seeing other possibilities we'd have no way to prove it of course, but it'd be good to keep it in mind."
"Tell me about Jessica," Kyou said abruptly.
"Whoa, subject whiplash!" he laughed. "Fair enough; we did get off-topic." He crossed his arms. "Well, she was a really pretty girl; long, reddish-brown hair, green eyes..."
"How tall was she?" Ryou asked, clearly getting into it.
"I never learned how tall she was in feet-and-inches, but she came up to about here on me," he said while holding his hand level just below his shoulder. "Five-five maybe? I don't know what that would be in metric."
"What did you like about her?" she followed up.
A smile grew across his face, and from the look in his eyes I could see him going back, back to a happier, simpler time. "Well, obviously I thought she was pretty, but...it's hard to qualify..." He tugged at his ear for some reason. "The best way I could describe it is that she had a heart for other people."
"What does that mean?" Kyou asked.
"I'm getting to that," he said with a raised hand and a small smile. "If she cared about you, you knew it...and she cared about everybody. I get the impression that you're impressed with how loving I am toward other people...I think she's the one who drew out that part of me."
I glanced over at the twins: Ryou was watching him with rapt attention, while Kyou still had her somewhat lost expression...but from knowing her I could tell she was hanging on his every word.
"She sounds like a wonderful girl," Ryou said with admiration.
"She was," he said with a tight voice.
"You must have really loved her," Kyou added, sounding depressed. "No wonder you turned me down."
He turned around and picked up something from the top of the short bookcase behind him. "She's the one on the far right," he said as he placed a framed photo on the front of the desk. We looked and, sure enough, a pretty red-haired girl smiled at us.
"She's beautiful..." Ryou breathed.
Kyou leaned forward for a closer look. "Wow..." she said, clearly impressed.
"How long were you two married?" I asked. I knew the answer, but I wanted to make sure that Kyou knew as well.
"Five years," he replied easily. "And most of that was spent in the hospital."
"The hospital?" the twins both echoed. "Why?"
"Breast cancer."
Almost as one, they slumped back in their seats with looks of shock.
He picked up the photo and traced his fingers over her image. "We had been married for a year-and-a-half when she was diagnosed. We fought it for over three years, but it had been caught too late; we prayed, did chemo, but...yeah."
"I'm sorry," Kyou said, grief clear in her expression. "If I had known, I wouldn't have-"
"It's not your fault," he said gently. "I'll admit that part of me is happy that I'm still good-looking enough at thirty-two to attract someone as pretty as you are."
My eyebrows jumped at the revelation of his age. Of course I already knew, but...
The twins' reaction was...different. "Y-You really think Onee-chan is pretty?" Ryou said in disbelief.
"Sure," he said. "I haven't lost my eye for beauty, I'm just committed to my wife."
"But she's-"
"Wait a minute," I interrupted, holding up my hand to stop Ryou; I knew what she was going to say, but I also knew that it would be a bad idea. "This might sound weird, but I'd like to talk to Pastor in private for a minute. Could you two wait outside?"
"Actually, why don't you and I step out for a minute?" he suggested. "I don't think we should make the ladies leave."
I quickly agreed and we headed for the main entrance.
***
"What did you want to talk about?" he asked once we were outside.
"'It's not good for Man to be alone'," I quoted to the best of my ability.
In spite of his fatigue he managed to laugh heartily. "I was wondering when you would bring that up," he chuckled. "Yes, I've thought of that myself. I've also thought about what Paul wrote about being single as unto the Lord, and I've wondered if that's what He wants me to do."
"Why would He give you Jessica if He intended you to be single?" I challenged.
"I've wondered that, too," he admitted. "Maybe that was supposed to be the time for me to be married, but now I'm supposed to devote all of my time to Him. Paul had to be married to be a Pharisee, you know."
"Are you saying that you couldn't do that if you were married?"
He looked at me they way that I'd seen parents look at their children when they'd said something clever. "If I got married again, my time would be divided between pleasing God and pleasing my wife."
"Did you have that problem with Jessica?"
"No, Tomoya, but..." he trailed off, then chuckled again. "Are you on the debate team at school, or something?"
I shook my head with a wry grin. "Of course not; I'm a recovering delinquent, remember?"
"Right, right..." he looked up at the sky, and I wondered if he was going to pray or something. "Honestly, I have been feeling a bit of a push to marry again."
"Why?" I would come up with as many questions as I could think of to help him...and Kyou.
He sighed heavily. "Part of me wants to share this adventure with someone. I know that God's always with me but, as you pointed out, having a helpmate – a wife – is part of His design, so..."
"What about Kyou?"
He chuckled softly. "You're really pushing... How old is she, anyway?"
"Seventeen...she'll turn eighteen next month."
"Fifteen years...wow..." he mused. "Why is she so interested in an old man like me, anyway?"
"I'm not sure," I admitted, "but I think she just likes the kind of person you are. I think she fell for you when you worked together on the festival set-up, but I didn't realize it at the time."
"Well, she's very forgiving or very near-sighted, falling for a guy like me," he quipped. "I guess the only problem would be..." he trailed off, giving me a meaningful look.
I understood. If Kyou wanted to be with him, she would have to become a Christian.