It was quarter past twelve in the afternoon and I had just woken up from sleep, completely disregarding the fact I have school and work to do. I hover around the room for a while, waiting for one o clock, when I had a check-up appointment. Nathaniel hadn't messaged me since yesterday and I didn't bother messaging him, I didn't even check his last seen on WhatsApp, I was too in denial of everything that was happening.
"You ready?" My mom says opening the door.
I nod tiredly.
"Alright, give me twenty minutes, I'm going to make you some lunch and we'll set out, okay."
I give her a tight smile, the thought of eating lunch had cheered me up slightly. Now that my stomach was growing by the day, it was quite impossible to wear a regular fitted top and not look pregnant.
I told Tobias I was pregnant yesterday, let's just say he was a hundred times more excited than Nathaniel was.
*
"How is the small one?" Tobias asks excitedly.
I smile. "The doctor said everything's fine, I just need to make sure I stay hydrated because I've apparently been stressed lately." I shrug.
"You need to make sure you look after yourself, even with everything going on." Cassie says softly, squeezing my shoulders.
I nod. "I will, I keep forgetting to make sure I drink enough water or eat on time, have my vitamins, who knew even being pregnant was a huge responsibility." I say tiredly.
"Not me." Cassie says. "I'm never having a kid." Cassie shivers exaggeratedly, Cassie never liked the idea of having children until she was about 30.
I laugh. "Come on, let's go to the movies shall we." I say warmly. Cassie and Tobias wanted to meet up today to take my mind off everything, so we decided to invite Tobias's girlfriend Leila and Cassie's new friend.
"I told Leila to wait for me outside of the cinemas." Tobias says while texting on his phone.
"I told Tyler to wait for me outside there too." Cassie says as we walk closer to the cinema.
"So the secret admirer's name is Tyler?" I say winking.
Tobias coos.
Cassie barges me and Tobias, blushing she rolls her eyes. "Please don't embarrass me! He's so cute and tall, he has nice arms and everything!" Cassie squeals. "Basically the complete opposite of Jacob." She shrugs with a small smile on her face suggesting she was finally getting over Jacob.
We wait in the seating area of the cinemas while Tobias gets the tickets, Leila and Tyler still weren't here yet. I was feeling nervous about today because I'd be the third wheel for both couples. Maybe not. I did have another human inside of me after all.
After a few minutes of waiting, Leila approaches us. She was wearing black air maxes that matched her black cropped jumper and jeggings. She was the complete opposite of Tobias, she was much quieter and gave off a goth vibe, although I don't think she intentionally went for that look. Tobias, on the other hand, reminded you of a rainbow, he was always cheerful, and definitely not quiet.
"Hey." I say warmly.
"Hey girl." Cassie says.
"Hey girls." Leila says softly, fiddling with her fingers.
"Tobias is just getting the tickets." I say as I move my head around to spot him. I see him at the front of the queue.
"Tyler's coming in right now, so be nice!" Cassie says nervously. She quickly fixes her hair which was let out in curls and tucks her white blouse into her cropped trousers. Giddily, she smiles, as she stares at the entrance waiting for him to come.
Me and Leila laugh as we wait for Tyler to come in.
After a minute of waiting, a guy who must be Tyler walks in because he's smiling from eye to eye when he catches Cassie's gaze. Tyler was tall, probably as tall as Nathaniel, his eyes were a light green colour, it was the first thing that caught my eyes. Cassie was right, his arms were bulky, he must work out. Tyler looked like the popular jock/Prince Charming in every American teenage romance movie.
"Trade Tyler for Nathaniel?" I say with a playful smile, my eyes still on Tyler.
"For the first time in my life, I can happily say I don't want Nathaniel over any of my potential boyfriends, Tyler is way better." Cassie says with a smirk.
I laugh. "Wow you must really like him, you weren't this loyal to Jacob."
Cassie shrugs fluttering her eyes, she walks over to Tyler and gives him a hug. "Tyler, this is my best friend Aasia. Aasia, this is Tyler." Cassie introduces us to each other.
"Ah, the famous Aasia, nice to meet you." Tyler says with a grin, nodding at me. I nod in approval and smile back. "Hey."
"And this is Leila." I say with a warm smile.
"Tobias's girl right?" Tyler says thinking slightly, probably trying to remember everything Cassie had told him.
Leila nods. "Nice to meet you, Tyler." Leila smiles.
"Likewise." Tyler replies. Tobias walks over to us with the tickets in his hands, waving it around he places an arm around Leila's waist.
"Hey man, I'm Tobias. You must be Tyler." Tobias says shaking Tyler's hand.
Tyler smiles and takes his hand. "Nice to meet you." He nods.
"Okay now that the introductions are over with, let's go get some snacks." Cassie says excitedly.
I walk slightly behind both the couples, feeling rather awkward from being the third wheel to both couples I get my phone out. I see I had 23 missed calls from Nathaniel and 6 texts messages. Whoa.
Nathaniel: "pick up?"
Nathaniel: "I really need to talk to you. Sorry about the way things ended."
Nathaniel: "Aasia, I've called you like 20 times, where are you? Are you ok?"
Nathaniel: "I get it if you're mad. I'm sorry. We need to talk."
Nathaniel: "You're in the fricking cinemas while I've been going out of my mind trying to contact you?"
Nathaniel: "Oh what a coincidence, Tobias is with you too."
I gulp, anger rising in my throat I continuously blink my eyes to not let any tears that had built up from the anger escape. I didn't realise how quiet I had gotten until it was my turn in the line for the snacks. Not having an appetite anymore, I only get a slushy.
"You okay?" Cassie asks quietly, while the other three talk to each other on the way to the movie room.
"Yeah." I say with a soft smile.
"If you're not, we can always go. Is it the baby? Aren't you feeling well?" Cassie places a hand on my shoulders and makes me stop.
I shake my head. "Everything's fine, don't worry about it. We don't want to be late for the movie, girls trip had amazing reviews." I say putting on an exaggerated smile trying to conceal my sadness.
"The movies not important. Tell me what's up?" Cassie says softly.
I sigh. I show her the messages and she hands me back my phone silently. "My phone was on silent and I didn't realise I was even getting any messages or calls." I say in a quiet tone.
"He's angry with me and it makes me so sad." I say shrugging feeling pathetic. I take a seat on the small logs by the toilets. Cassie sits with me.
"He's not angry with you, he's just confused. He didn't know you didn't check your phone. He thought you're ignoring him. Once you let him know that, it'll all be okay." Cassie says trying to make me feel better.
"I just feel so crap all the time, and I'm so hungry but my moods pretty low so I can't even eat anything." I roll my eyes and let out a quiet growl.
Cassie smiles. "Lets go get some food, if you don't eat it, I'll eat it." She says sticking her tongue at me.
I grin at her, pushing myself up, I take her hand and follow her back to the food court.
*
"So, I've been waiting for you."
I lift my head up at the sound of a familiar voice I had not heard in a while. Nathaniel walked over from across the street and joined me on the pavement where I was sitting.
"What are you doing out here?" He asks.
I take a moment to reply. "I left my keys and nobody's home." I say quietly, facing the ground again.
"You want to come to my house?" Nathaniel asks nervously, I hear the anxiousness in his voice as he stares at me, my lack of attention must have made him question whether I still wanted him or not. But that wasn't the case, I had been waiting here for over two hours, despite my brother saying he will be back in half an hour, an hour and a half ago. Anger fuelling in my system I try to keep myself calm without snapping accidentally.
"Adam will be here soon." I reply, hoping that Adam does come soon.
Nathaniel nods. The silence had turned awkward, more awkward than it was before our conversation had ended. I didn't know whether I should speak or get up and go for a walk. Nathaniel seemed to be feeling the same way because he kept fidgeting with his fingers.
"I'm sorry for not responding yesterday and getting angry today. I just needed time to process everything, I know that doesn't excuse my behaviour." Nathaniel says in a low tone. "I keep disappointing you, I know."
I lick my lips. "Process the fact I'm pregnant?"
He shakes his head. "No, I got that quite fast." He says with a breathy laugh. "Process that you've been pregnant for so long and I haven't been around to help." He says with his voice strained. "I didn't even notice." He mutters, shaking his head angrily.
I move my head from the ground and look up at him, he had guilt spread across his face. I wanted to say something but I didn't know what. Was I going to tell him how hurt I was that when he found out he didn't want to talk to me? Or was I going to say I'm sorry for not telling him?
I tell him I'm sorry. "It's my fault. I should have told you when I found out." I say in a slow-paced tone trying not to cry.
"Why didn't you?" He says in a soft tone, placing his hand on top of mine.
I sniffle, shrugging. "Remember you said you didn't want distractions, you wanted to graduate without any trouble." I shake my head. "It's going to be so hard to graduate with a child." I wipe my tears. "I was so scared that you were going to leave me, that you didn't want this, and now look." I scoff. "I didn't want to disappoint you."
"You know the best decision I made was coming and talking to you, right here on those steps that first time." Nathaniel chuckles. "You were so scared."
I laugh, shaking my head.
Nathaniel let out a breathy laugh. "A baby is not a distraction, Asi, especially not our baby." Nathaniel's lips quirk up slightly tugging into a small smile. "Who says we can't graduate?"
"Who's going to look after the child when we're away? My parents work and my brother has college." I shrug. "We can't afford a sitter either."
Nathaniel looks at me for a while. "My mom doesn't work." He says light-heartedly. "When I told her about the baby yesterday, she cried so much." Nathaniel says softly. "She was so happy, so was my sister. Mary was so excited that she was going to have a real life dolly, as she said." Me and Nathaniel both laugh.
"So you're really okay with this?" I ask, my voice slightly broken.
"I have never been so excited, I literally can't wait to celebrate this happiness with you." Nathaniel says wrapping me in his arms. "So how many months pregnant are you?"
"Four and a half, I found out at three months only, I should find out the baby's gender very soon." I say with a grin playing on my lips, I could not wait for that moment.
Nathaniel smiles. "When's your next checkup? Can I come?"
I frown slightly. "I had one today, my next ones next week though." I say with a tight smile. "The babies all healthy and good, there's nothing to worry about." I say with a tight nod.
Nathaniel nods his head softly, looking a little bummed out. "I'm glad the baby's good, but how's my girl?"
"I'm good." I say with a smile, not telling him about the fact the doctor told me to stay hydrated because I was too stressed right now, I know Nathaniel would only blame himself.
"If we're lucky, next week they'll be able to reveal the baby's gender, if not then, we'll have to wait for the week after for them to get a clearer view." I shrug. "They tried looking today, but it was slightly unclear so hopefully by next week it'll be clear."
"That means we can go baby shopping?" Nathaniel says excitedly. "Wait, oh my God, we haven't picked names!" Nathaniel says, his face bright red and his eyes wide open.
I laugh. "Easy tiger, we can do all that. But right now, I really need to rest." I say pouting before replacing it with a smile. I had been without food for more than three hours, I couldn't last another minute.
Nathaniel nods and helps me get up and directs me to his house. "Let's go."