I am currently sobbing because of this, I love you guys so much, enjoy my most emotional chapter yet. The last update........
Goodbyes are something everybody has to do, no matter what. Some are planned while others are sudden and devastating, slowly clawing away the walls of reason and sane, others crush everything in one big swoop. Either way, each and every single goodbye comes with some sort of strong emotion, and emotions are the gateway to one's vulnerability.
He took your hand in his and brought it to hover under his lips, "Hello, Love~" he purred in a deep voice, his hot breath lingering on your hand, chills running up your spine.
All beginnings have an end, whether being bitter and cold or warm and understanding is up to fate and history to decide, their hands trembling with forced responsibility. However, it is the things that happen between these two periods that make the goodbye that much harder, things that placed those emotions to motion.
The first time you felt a connection was the real starting point of those raw and unattainable feelings.
"Ouch!!" You hissed when he poked a certain spot, the stinging traveling to your head, causing a migraine. "It just bruised the bone" he sighed, grabbing the gauze and carefully wrapping your knee up.
Without any realization whatsoever your walls are left unguarded and vulnerable, leaving your battered heart out in the open for the taking, and that's what happens. Soon enough your mind replays tiny moments that would otherwise go unnoticed if anyone else had been in that position, things such as the way someone laughs or even the way they sneeze. It's just a small connection that ropes two souls by a small thread that could easily break with the slightest movement. Then there comes the inevitable fall, where that thread is thickened and nearly unbreakable, at this point escape is almost futile.
The time where you fall in love.
His smile grew wider and wider the closer you came. When you were within about two feet from him you launched into the air, closing your eyes and hoping Vincent would catch you. Your worries washed away as his warm hands caught you by the waist, bringing you against him. "You can trust me, love~" he cooed, putting you back on your feet and giving you a spin.
Warmth and fuzziness fill your entire being with happy feelings and lightheaded spells, easing away all worries and fears, nothing could stop the emotions now. The final stage of building these emotions is once those feelings are returned, the thread is snapped and replaced by a titanium rod, something virtually indestructible. The thought of losing this special individual hurts more than any kind of physical torture imaginable, because you are attached to them.
The first moment your feelings are returned.
"(Y-YN)" he stuttered, looking up at you with a nervous smile. He opened the box, looking up at you with love filled eyes, "Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked, staring hopefully.
Every single fiber and cell are fused as one in an inseparable bond, emotions and pain linked together in a beautiful pattern of it's own. However, fate has a strange way of doing things, most of the time being morbid and cynical to the point of emotional torture. The thing you love most will inevitably slip through your fingers soon enough, whether that be death or breaking off forged ties. Maybe the world doesn't want us to be happy or healthy, keep us on our toes for when death comes our own way. For some that would be both a blessing and a wish, something wanted so much they would carry that own deed out themselves.
The time you lost them, the end.
"No, don't leave me" you cried, stroking his face and looking for a way to help, but it was useless. Through the gurgling and coughing, he managed to get out three words, the last he spoke, "I love you". Then, the light faded from his eyes and his head lolled to the side, the sounds of pain now being absent from the dimly lit room.
It's almost as if their pain was now your own, they were gone and peaceful while you were left to life alone and suffering. You start blaming yourself and others for the what happened and push away those who were still there for you no matter what. This vicious cycle hurts, yes, but it is the way of life, being strong is surviving.
So while everything comes to an end, go back out and find a new beginning, and if that ends as well, just start all over again. It's like a game of Jenga, the game is fun to play, but once the blocks are knocked over you have to build them back up again in order to play and have fun once again. So the game continues until that person decides to quit building up the blocks.
You see, nothing is over as long as you continue trying to build back whatever was knocked over, the blocks may be in different spot than before, but that doesn't matter does it?. As long as that tower is built back into functional form all is good and fun. Even if a few pieces are missing during the fall.
So this is my farewell to you, go find your new beginning and thrive as a human, thrive as something destructive and creative all at once. You have more power than many others on this unforgiving planet, use it to your advantage. This is my goodbye, and my emotions are just as mixed as they should be, sad yet relived all at once. And that's how a goodbye should be shouldn't it? So I leave with this last note.
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Goodbye