Jimin missed Jungkook. He missed the feeling of his warm breath hitting his nape when the younger one would pull him close and give him a back hug when no one was looking. He also missed the feeling of Jungkook's strong arms around him in a warm embrace when they'd be at Yoongi's house, all of them huddled in the living room with pillows and blankets on the floor and it would be too cold. He missed Jungkook's smile.
He missed everything.
Jimin thought he could do it - a month of not seeing Jungkook around, but it was hard. It was getting so hard, especially when he'd try to search for him right after class would end, just after everyone would go stumbling out of their cramped classroom. After searching every corner in their school, Jimin still couldn't find Jungkook. If he wasn't with Yoongi in the library, he'd be with Namjoon talking about things they shared in common, like their love for music. If he wasn't with Taehyung playing video games when he'd drag Jungkook over to his house then Jungkook would be with Jin, eating at Jin's favorite restaurants or he'd be practicing with Hoseok since they both loved to dance.
But none of them ever answered Jimin's questions.
Where's Jungkook?
Have you seen him?
Where do you think he is?
They'd just shake their heads from left to right and assure him that everything was okay and he shouldn't be worrying too much, shushing him and telling him, "We saw Jungkook in class, Jimin. Don't worry, he's not dead," with a laugh, but Jimin didn't want to smile. Nothing was funny anymore. Even when they asked Jimin if he's checked Jungkook's house to see if he was there, Jimin would reply with a short, "He wasn't there. His parents said he was out."
"You should check again," Yoongi said one afternoon, when they were all heading home with their bags over their shoulders. Jungkook wasn't with them. "He probably went home. You should check if he's there. He's been busy."
"Too busy to the point where he won't even say hi to me anymore?" Jimin snapped, squeezing the bag strap that was hung over his shoulder. "No simple greeting, no Jungkook at my doorstep to come visit me like he used to? Nothing at all? Because Yoongi hyung, I've been worried sick. I don't even want to eat anymore..."
"God, Jimin, stop it," Yoongi groaned, letting his hand comb through his hair in frustration. "He's still here. He's just distancing himself from us and I just...I don't know why," he continued to walk with Jimin looking at him, waiting for him to continue. "Maybe I do, but that's not the point. I mean, I don't even know what I know and what I want to know anymore. I somehow get dragged into problems I'm not supposed to be part of," he frowned, but ended up laughing when Jimin stared at him in shock. "Woah, woah, slow down there Jimin. What's with that look?"
"Did you just say maybe you know why he's been distancing himself from us?" Jimin's eyes sparkled and he almost tripped as they continued walking on the sidewalk, on their way to Namjoon's house, but the rest of them were way ahead, and it was up to Yoongi and Jimin to fasten their steps. Namjoon and the others waved for them to hurry up, meters away, but Jimin waved back, mouthing a 'You go ahead, we'll catch up!'
He then looked at Yoongi who was now rolling his eyes, regretting why he even decided to give in the moment Jimin talked about the younger one, the moment he frowned with those puppy eyes and Yoongi couldn't handle it when Jimin acted like a kicked puppy. Especially now when Jimin was practically panicking, waiting for him to spill any details he knew regarding where Jungkook's hideouts were and what else he's been planning. Yoongi tried - Yoongi tried his utmost best to avoid Jimin who was still pleading right next to him, but it was of no use. He gave in.
"Damn it, I hate you. I saw Jungkook pass by somewhere...I don't know, like that old building with that ballet room on the first floor and the dance studio on the second floor. Remember that building? He always goes to the dance studio when he needs some time for himself. Jungkook told me, but I wasn't supposed to tell you this, I think, so you better keep your mouth shut," Yoongi cried internally as he spilled all the info he had collected over the past month, and cried even harder when Jimin squealed and jumped up and down just to give him a suffocating hug. Jimin was grinning so wide, but Yoongi let him hug him anyway, not minding how Jimin was with his tight hugs and high pitched giggles because no one would argue that Jimin was adorable. "Hey, Jimin, you shouldn't tell him I told you because-"
He didn't even have time to finish his sentence before Jimin dashed off in a hurry, running at the speed of light, not forgetting to shout, "Tell Namjoon and the others I can't make it today!" with hopeful, glistening eyes and he continued to holler, "Thank you, thank you, thank youuu, Yoongi hyung!" as he disappeared at a corner in search for Jungkook.
He continued to run like how Jungkook ran after him countless of times. Jimin's chest was heaving and his shirt was disarrayed, his dark hair disheveled but he didn't care. He didn't even mind if he looked like a mess at that point as he passed by a skate park, and he remembered when all seven of them were hanging around at that exact same spot, where they all tried skateboarding but only Taehyung and Jungkook got the hang of it. He ran as if he was in a race and Jungkook was putting his bet on him. Jimin need to reach him, and his heart was beating so fast, thinking the dark haired boy with the sweetest smile wasn't there. He'd make a fool out of himself if he were to barge in the dance studio with no one there.
It was windy, but the sweat forming in his temples as he sprinted his way to the old building Yoongi was mentioning proved that he really needed to get there fast. It's been a while since he's last been to that old, bricked builing, with some of their windows broken and no one barely going in. Jimin couldn't really recall how they came to know about this place, but they all somehow snuck in there one day, at five in the afternoon when the sun was about to set, since Namjoon said they had cute girls on the first floor, but that was a long time ago. Like that time when they were still so wild and just so free, the sun setting and Jimin recalled the feeling of standing in front of that old building and it felt so nostalgic. He never knew why Jungkook picked this place since it would have looked like a run down building if it weren't for the lights he saw as he went in, making sure not to go to the first floor this time, but the second.
He scrambled up the stairs and panted, reaching the first floor, only to see girls stretching, warming up and positioning themselves before the lady who was instructing them, would start playing, Jimin guessed, ballet music. Some curious eyes were on him as he was just outside the door which was wide open, with him just resting his hands on his bent legs as he composed himself, still trying to steady his heartbeat from all the running. Jimin wouldn't lie when he saw a few of the girls nudging one another, pointing at his direction and giggling as they stole glances his way, complete with batting eyelashes and flushed cheeks. Jimin just gave them a small smile, thinking it would be rude if he just stayed there and did nothing in return. He heard gasps and squeals, but he chuckled before he gave one last smile and a short wave, seeing a few girls wave back at him as he passed the hallways and up the stairs again. This time, he tried to rely on his senses, listening and finding a room with loud music blaring because that was where Jungkook would likely be in.
Luckily, he spotted a room with music playing so loud that he was definitely sure Jungkook was there. This is it, Jimin told himself, making sure to pat himself on the back to get that last encouragement no one else was giving him before he'd go inside that room and humiliate himself. His heart was beating so fast, he was sure it would jump out of his chest. With shaky hands and his unprepared self, he ran to the last door to the left and when his hand came in contact with the cold doorknob, he immediately opened the door just to see Jungkook dancing to the beat of the song, doing one last spin before his eyes turned wide when he saw Jimin right in front of him, their eyes focused on each other.
With his mouth slightly agape, Jungkook took a few steps back before he ran to the loud speakers just to turn them off. The defeaning silence took over that when Jimin gathered all his courage to go inside and close the door behind him, the sound off the door closing was too loud, it seemed to echo.
"What are you doing here?" Jungkook's voice was low and Jimin figured he must have been just as confused as he was. It hurt the older one how Jungkook was trying to avoid his eyes, but he let it pass for now. "You found me, huh?" Jungkook let out a weak chuckle, grabbing his towel from his black bag just in the corner of the room to dab on his sweat. The older one just admired how much effort Jungkook was exerting just to work on his dancing, with his sweat going down his temples and his face red. Even at times like this, Jungkook still had so much charm that it scared Jimin. When the younger would be serious, Jimin thought it made him look even better, more mature.
"It sounds like you're not too happy about me being here," Jimin tried not to sound too hurt, his voice steady. He shrugged that stupid throbbing he was starting to feel in his chest so he continued what he was about to say. "Anyway, someone helped me find you. I've been searching for you for a month now."
"Let me guess...Yoongi hyung?" Jungkook dabbed on the sweat forming in his temples one last time before Jimin nodded his head and Jungkook letting out a small laugh as he took a sip from his bottle of water. Jimin just watched him, feeling the mirrors of the dance studio swallow him up somehow. He didn't like how things were starting to get serious.
"But you shouldn't be mad at him though. He just tried to help me," Jimin had to explain, feeling so small, only for Jungkook to give him a sad smile, using his towel to ruffle his hair dry. He looked at Jimin with that look in his eyes Jimin couldn't explain, that look Jimin missed. He felt his chest tighten.
"Don't worry, Jimin. I'm not that mean."
Jimin.
The older one almost forgot how Jungkook would drop the "hyung" at times, especially now that they've grown even closer than before. It felt good how Jungkook could just say it so casually and Jimin took that as a good sign; Jungkook was still comfortable with him. Though Jungkook should be addressing him as "hyung" at all times, Jimin liked how the younger one would tease him just by saying his name and dropping the honorifics, but seeing that Jimin wasn't complaining, Jungkook continued to do so.
"What else did Yoongi hyung tell you?" Jungkook had to ask.
"That you've been coming here for a month now to find your piece of mind...that you've been distancing yourself from all of us," Jimin explained, inching closer so that he wouldn't feel oceans away from the younger. "But I want to pretend I don't know the reason why, but Jungkook, I do, and I'm still so sorry."
"For what, hyung? It's been a month and-"
"-yeah, exactly. It's been a month since that time I messed up and I just want to ask for your forgiveness. I can't live thinking that you hate me and I didn't do anything to solve this problem, so here I am, Jungkook, and I'm so sorry," Jimin wanted to cry, wanted to bawl his eyes out when Jungkook was looking his way for a few seconds just to look away right after that because he couldn't take it anymore. Jimin knew the younger one was still hurting and he felt like he was the one to blame.
"Hyung, it's been a month...just forget about it," that was the only thing Jungkook could say and Jimin had to shake his head from left to right, taking a few steps to finally reach Jungkook who looked like he was packing his things, but it was obvious he was just trying to distract himself. It didn't look like he was going to leave. How could he when it hurt him seeing Jimin right in front of him, asking for his forgiveness?
"It's easier said than done," Jimin had to say the truth. Jungkook's eyes were starting to go red as he blinked a couple of times to prevent himself from crying. He was holding onto his things so tight and Jimin knew he was frustrated, but he couldn't blame him.
"You didn't do anything wrong, okay? It's all my fault. I don't hate you. Just...just forget about what happened," Jungkook said, only for Jimin to finally break.
"Forget about what happened? Jungkook, you don't know how much it worried me how I couldn't get to speak with you for weeks to straighten things out with you. I came here, looking for you, just so I could finally know if you still want to keep me as a friend or just leave me because honestly, I'd understand if you'd want to leave me. I made you feel horrible, made you feel like I was using you, but I don't know how to handle all this because I never meant for you to get hurt. I'd never want to see you hurt, Jungkook. You mean a lot to me," Jimin used his sleeves to wipe the warm tears escaping from his eyes, rolling down his cheeks and he sniffled, his lips quivering. "I don't want to lose you. I'm so sorry. I can't do anything but say sorry."
"Jimin hyung..." Jungkook couldn't stand Jimin sobbing again so he did what he always does: pull him in for a tight embrace. He didn't even know his feet were leading him closer to his hyung, and now Jimin responded, his head buried in Jungkook's chest and his hands just on the younger's waist. Jungkook's shirt was soaked in tears, but he didn't care. He reached a point where he didn't care about a single thing anymore, whether if Jimin had feelings for him or if someone out there actually cared about him because no one did. He was done thinking about such things since it would hurt him even more than it pained him that moment.
"I can't forget about what happened. How could I, Jungkook? We almost had it together, but we lost it. It's all my fault," Jimin buried his head in Jungkook's chest, not wanting to meet his eyes since he felt so bad, it actually hurt. The burning sensation in Jimin's chest wouldn't go away as it ached the more Jungkook hugged him tighter like he didn't want the older one to let go, like how Jimin let go of him; he didn't want to give up on Jimin like how it seemed as if he gave up on Jungkook. Stuttering, he looked up just to meet Jungkook's equally red eyes due to all the crying and yet again, it was all because of him. It's because of me, Jimin thought. "C-Can we start over? I'm sorry, Kookie, I really-"
He should've expected Jungkook to crash his lips against his for a passionate kiss, but he didn't. The older one wasn't even aware Jungkook would close his eyes just to deepen the kiss, but Jimin's tears ended up cascading down his cheeks as soon as Jungkook wrapped his arms around his smaller frame, around his waist, and Jimin let out the breath he's been holding. He felt Jungkook's hands, his long fingers on his back to pull his body closer to his, till one hand travelled up to rest on Jimin's neck, to angle his head and there, Jimin tasted like apricots and all things Jungkook liked, he couldn't help but bite down Jimin's bottom lip.
"Shh," Jungkook was the first to pull away, his forehead against Jimin's, his lips merely a centimeter away from his. Sweat trickled down their temples, with Jimin's hand on Jungkook's broad chest and the other one combing through Jungkook's hair to pull him closer, their bodies a heated mesh, one and inseparable. Panting could be heard as they took deep breaths to stable their heartbeats, but before Jimin could say anything, Jungkook crashed his lips against his once more as if he'll never get tired of Jimin, and he wasn't going to get tired of the older one. They didn't know who deepened the kiss, but it was working and all Jimin could hear apart from the loud beating coming from his chest was Jungkook's muffled groans, so low that it was almost inaudible, but they didn't go unnoticed. "Jimin hyung, I missed you. God, I missed you so much."
Jungkook's strong arms were what caged him in, and Jimin didn't mind one bit, but the sudden confidence Jungkook picked up as he was drowning Jimin in sweet kisses was what the older one was thinking about. He didn't know how Jungkook got so confident when in fact, he was just a shy boy who barely even uttered a single word, barely even looked at his eyes, when Jimin would say, "Jungkook, are you okay?" but that was weeks, months ago, and though it was a new change, Jimin knew that shy side of Jungkook was still there somewhere, buried deep inside him, but now, it was just his mature, strong self overshadowing the shy boy he used to know.
"You got so confident," Jimin smiled in between their kiss, only for Jungkook to smile back, Jimin thought his heart jumped out of his chest for a second. Jungkook pecked his lips.
"I got tired of waiting, I thought if I didn't make a move, someone would steal you away from me and I didn't want that," Jungkook truthfully said which made Jimin look at him in the eyes, only to see Jungkook's dark brown orbs filled with a burning fire that seemed to be there ever since, so strong, so right, so Jungkook. "But I'm only like this when I'm with you. Only you, hyung."
That made Jimin crush their lips together for another kiss, but this time, it wasn't heated, but just sweet, slow and Jungkook's heart was turning into goo and he thought to himself that if he could taste Jimin's lips and feel his body flushed close against his like this everyday, he didn't want anything else. A month of isolating himself, a month of running away from the thought of Jimin using him just as a distraction, lead to this, and it was bittersweet.
"Forgive me?" Jimin fluttered his eyes open to search Jungkook's eyes for answers. The younger's arms were still around his smaller frame, a small smile crawling up Jungkook's face.
"Only if you do something for me," Jungkook started, his tone playful, only for Jimin's eyes to widen because it was as if Jungkook was up to something. Jimin didn't really know what he was up to or what he wanted for him to do, but he trusted Jungkook with all his heart, he was willing to do what the younger wanted him to do. When Jimin whispered, 'What is it?' Jungkook swiped his tongue across his bottom lip only for him to bite it, letting go of Jimin's body to run to the huge speakers in the corner of the room. He looked at Jimin once the music started playing. "Dance with me."
Without noticing it, a smile crawled up Jimin's face, his eyes teary. He started hearing Jungkook's voice in the background, his voice beautiful, angelic, emotional. He was the one singing the song.
No limit in the sky
That I won't fly for ya.
No amount of tears in my eyes
That I won't cry for ya, oh no.
Jimin was the first one to put his arms around the younger's neck, Jungkook's hands on his waist, his hands gentle and their bodies swaying from left to right, dancing to the slow melody fading in the background. There it was again, the feeling of loving someone so much that it seemed as if it was just the two of them in this world and no one else. Jimin closed his eyes and continued to follow Jungkook's steps.
With every breath that I take,
I want you to share that air with me.
There's no promise that I won't keep.
I'll climb a mountain, there's none too steep.
When it comes to you,
There's no crime.
Let's take both of our souls
And intertwine.
When it comes to you,
Don't be blind.
Watch me speak from my heart
When it comes to you.
Comes to you.
Jungkook wrapped his arms tighter around Jimin's waist, bringing his body close to his, sharing his warmth and Jimin sharing his. It felt so right, just there with Jimin that he didn't want to let go. His heart was aching in a good way, he couldn't explain it. He listened to Jimin's heartbeat as the song progressed, but one thing he knew was that the older's heartbeat mimicked his, his heart beating fast and threatening to jump out of his ribcage.
Cupid ain't a lie
Arrow got your name on it, oh yeah.
Don't miss out on a love
And regret yourself on it, oh.
Open up your mind, clear your head.
Ain't gotta wake up to an empty bed.
Share my life, it's yours to keep.
Now that I give to you all of me, oh.
When it comes to you,
There's no crime.
Let's take both of our souls
And intertwine.
When it comes to you,
Don't be blind.
Watch me speak from my heart
When it comes to you.
Comes to you.
When it comes to you,
There's no crime.
Let's take both of our souls
And intertwine.
When it comes to you,
Don't be blind.
Watch me speak from my heart
When it comes to you.
Comes to you.
The moment the song ended, Jimin let out a small laugh that Jungkook couldn't help but smile just like how his Jimin hyung was smiling, right in front of him, looking like an angel with his soft features and his beautiful eyes and smile.
"Thank you, Jungkook," was what Jimin said before he used his hands to cup Jungkook's cheeks to kiss him once more. Jungkook felt a spark ignite before he was sure his heart exploded in his chest, the warmth spreading in his body even hotter than before and he kissed back. His mind was hazy and he couldn't think straight with the way Jimin was kissing him like the universe only moved for them, like this was meant to be, just for them - only them. He couldn't explain what it felt like that moment, but Jungkook was sure it was the feeling of happiness surrounding them, like their hearts intertwining - he was sure of it. He could almost swear Jimin felt the same way with the way he nodded and said, "I feel it, too."
Jungkook smiled.
"I forgive you, hyung," Jungkook said once Jimin looked at him, their eyes meeting, and the older one was starting to go weak at his knees. Jungkook beat him to it when he caught Jimin's lips again, before Jimin could kiss him once again. He knew he'd never get tired of Jimin, never get tired of his lips, his everything. Jimin's thumb caressed the younger's cheek, feeling his soft lips against his, hearing Jungkook's heart starting to calm down.
Jungkook thought about it.
Maybe he was going to tell Jimin who gave him the letters.
"Jimin, I love you."
_______
Author's Note: Happy Birthday to our precious Golden Maknae, Jeon Jungkook! (You guys, I wrote this in August just before Jungkook's birthday which was on September 1, but I've been having exams and just- ಥ_ಥ So here's a late update and I love you hehe ❤ You know that, right?) And I'll be busy next week because I have hospital duty, but I'll make sure to update this story for you guys! I love you so much and FINALLY! Maybe Jungkook really does want to tell Jimin who gave him the letters! Haha 😂 Any idea who it is?