I can hear my heart beat over the sound of the crowd cheering. I can feel it beat out through my chest like it's an animal ready to break through a cage. This is it. The moment of truth.
"Charlotte breath" Coach tells me resting the palm of his hands down on my shoulders
"I'm trying. Trust me I am" I tell him shaking out my legs a little
The two of us are walking up and down the hallway where the change rooms are as we wait for my turn to skate. My last and final time skating my short program. For the life of me, I can't bring myself to watch the current skater on the monitor. I never watch the skater on the ice. Never. It only brings more fear to me. If I want to be World Champion, I need to focus and lay down a clean short program. Without my quad, I don't have a major advantage over the other girls so being clean and consistent would be key for this skate.
"So, how are you feeling right now?" Coach asks me as walk the length of the halls once again
"Nervous. I'm always nervous" I tell him trying to sound like I'm joking
"I'm not going to tell you don't be, but I will tell you to use your nerves to your advantage. Sometimes you need to use your fears to make you stronger"
"Yeah, I guess you could say that"
I hear the crowd cheer once again and then I know it's game time. I walk with Coach through the halls once more until we get to the curtains that separate us from the rink.
"Game time, kiddo. Remember no quads even if you are feeling vivacious" Coach lectures
"Right, I don't think I'm ready for another twisted ankle again anyways"
Before I step onto the ice, Coach grabs my jacket and pats me once on the back while I skate around the ice and practice some simples jumps while Kaetlyn Osmond waits in the Kiss & Cry for her results. While I skate around the ice my eyes search the crowd for a special someone. My eyes dart around the ice like a bee until they fall upon him. Sitting next to the Spaniard is my boyfriend or the way he puts it, 'pre-prep proposal fiance,' the king of dorks, Yuzuru Hanyu. He catches my eye as well and shoots me his award winning smile that fills my heart with relief, helping me calm down.
"The scores please for Kaetlyn Osmond.....75.98...she is currently in first place!"
I smile knowing my friend is leading and has a chance of winning her first medal from Worlds, but now its my turn to skate. I skate up to Coach one last time, for a word of advice before the big skate. One last time.
"Alright, one last time. Don't get too psyched up on the jumps. Stay focused. Make sure to breath. I know you can do this kiddo. Believe in yourself and remember," he raises a hand places it onto my hand with the ring on it, "Yuzuru is with you. He's skating right by your side." That's all the encouragement I needed at the moment to give me enough confidence to win this. Here we go.
"Representing Canada, Charlotte Akagi!"
I push off the boards and present myself to the cheering crowd before taking my starting position in the middle of the ice. Taking a deep breath, I position myself and wait for my music to start.
Ave Maria, gratia plena.
Maria, gratia plena
Maria, gratia plena
Ave, ave dominus,
Dominus tecum.
Benedicta tu in mulieribus,
Et benedictus
Et benedictus fructus ventris,
Ventris tui, Jesus.
Ave Maria.
I skate my intro choreography making sure to put all my effort into connecting with the music before pushing into some backwards crossovers to get into the other corner of the ice where my triple toe loop takes place. Before the Four Continents incident this is where my quad sal used to be but now here I am back at a triple toe. At the end of my ina bauer I move into some double threes before digging my pic into the ice, sending myself into the three rotation jump with a tano landing the triple flawlessly in a spread eagle.
I move into my layback spin pulling my right leg into a hair cutter, then a pearl, and eventually a biellman. I exit the spin and enter my second of three right after. I spin into the camel position, pulling my leg up into a swan, then a donut, switch my feet for a back sit and then pulling my leg up into a Y position. The step sequence comes next, where I skate the wonderfully created choreography from Kurt. As I finish my final step, I jump into my triple axel receiving a 10% bonus for being in the second half.
My program is coming to end with only one last jump to complete. I power through to the other end of the ice and jump into my triple lutz, triple loop, double loop combination throwing a tano onto the last double.
Yes! I just need to complete my last spin and then this short program will be a success. I complete my final spin making sure to hold each position in the flying camel before exiting and pulling my final stance.
The crowd goes wild as I silently cheer to myself. All that hard work between Four Continents and now have really payed off. Getting back to my former self after that nightmare of an incident wasn't easy but I'm glad I got to have a clean skate. I take my bow and then skate to Coach who looked eager to say something.
"So what did you think?" I smile as I step off the ice, Coach passing me my red jacket
"Well, I thought it was amazing! Great skate" he smiles
The two of us then sit in the Kiss & Cry to await the results as I sit nervously awaiting the results. While we wait I silently play with the stuffed bear someone threw onto the ice and make faces at the camera, while Coach just laughs at my stupidity.
"The scores please for Charlotte Akagi..."
Coach and I both advert our eyes towards the score board that sits above the rink in the middle of the ice.
"...79. 00.. she is currently in first place!"
"Big score. I must say I've never seen a score exactly on the dot like that" Coach tells me staring off at the screen
"Me neither. Let's hope my score can stay there though"
Coach and I walk backstage once again and I join the girls watching by the monitor who are watching the competition.
"Great job Charlotte! Loved the skate" Kaetlyn smiles pulling me into a hug
"Thanks bud. Gongrats on getting a seasons best by the way"
.
.
.
The competition goes by and soon the last skater is one the ice; Evgenia
Ashley, Kaetlyn, Mai, and I watch the screen intensively as she takes place in the middle of the ice and her program music begins. It's safe to say that Evgenia is a clean skaters and rarely ever makes a mistake. Every edge she skates, every turn she makes, every jump and every spin are up to the judges standards and when the score comes out it's no secret that she comes in first.
"...79.01..she is in first place!"
"Wait didn't you get 79 points, Charlotte?" Ashley questions
"Wow I've never seen points separated by only .01. That's extremely close" Kaetlyn ponders
It's true that this is an extremely rare occurrence but I guess it's true that the numbers really do speak for the colour of your medal.