CHAPTER 75
Demi's POV
"WELCOME HOME DEMI!" All of my relatives shouted as I walked through the door of my childhood home. Mac clutched me tighter and yelling. I gave everyone a huge smile. "Thanks guys!" My cousin, Aris, came bouncing up to me, I gave her a side hug with the arm that wasn't holding Mac. When she saw my daughter clinging to me her face lit up. "Oh my God! Demi! She's so cute!" I smiled, and leaned in to talk in Mac's ear. "Hey babygirl? This is Aris. She's really nice, can you say hi?" Mac peered out from my hair, and gave Aris a tentative wave with a smile small. "Hi." She said shyly. Aris returned the smile, "Hi i'm Aris!" Mac was more open this time, "I'm Mac." Aris nodded, "Do you wanna come and play?" Mac nodded and reached out from my body to Aris, who picked her up and held her on her hip, then walked away, disappearing in the crowd of people.
A tap on my shoulder made me turn, then scream. I jumped on the girl in front of me, my cousin, Sarah, who laughed, and hugged me back. "How ya doin' Dems?!" She said excitedly. I pulled away from the hug and got a good look at her. She had shaved a part on her jet black hair on the side, and had a new nose piercing, she looked badass. "I'm doing great! But what'd you do to your hair?" I almost yelled. Sarah laughed and ran a carefree hand through her hair, "Do you like it? I needed a change." I smiled and reached up to pet the buzzed side, "I love it! It looks fucking badass!" Someone smacked the side of my head and I yelped, turning to see my mom glaring at me. "Demetria Devonne Lovato! Your grandmother is over there and wouldn't like to hear you talking like that-" "FUCK YES." A yell came from where she was pointing, a football game was on the T.V and it looked as though the Cowboys had scored against the Giants. My eighty-eight year old grandma was dancing around the couch. I smirked and my mom and turned back to Sarah, who was cracking up. "So how're ya doin'? She said in her twang accent that I had missed so much. I smiled, "Really good!" She nodded, then said in a more serious tone, "And the food thing?" I sighed,"It's more difficult around a lot of people, but better when I'm home. Just a daily struggle, but i'm working on it." Sarah nodded, she understood my struggle with eating because she too, had dealt with an eating disorder and was one of the people who encouraged me to go to treatment in the first place. She smiled at me, "I wish I could say that it gets easier." I nodded, and smiled. "It's okay Sarah, I'm doing good right now. I should go find Mac though, God knows what type of things Aris and Maddie are doing to her." Sarah let out a cackle that we had both inherited,"Good luck!" Then walked off to join the crowd watching the football game.
I wandered around the big, familiar house until I got to a white doorway at the end of the hallway. I slowly turned the doorknob and looked in. Mac and Maddie were sitting on the bed, Maddie was crying and it looked like Mac was trying to console her. I knocked quietly and Maddie whipped her head around, fear evident on her face. Tears were running down her cheeks. "Maddie?" I said, knitting my eyebrows together in confusion, "What's wrong babygirl." Maddie just shook her head and walked past me, hurrying out of the room, wiping her face. I walked in and sat next to Mac, "What's wrong with MadMad?" Mac just shrugged, "I don't know." I narrowed my eyes, "Mackenzie, What happened?" Mac huffed and turned her body so it faced mine, crossing her arms. "I can't tell you. I'm not allowed to." This time, Mac surprised me. She's never this stubborn, it must be really serious if Maddie won't even tell me. I raised an eyebrow, "Why not?" Mac shrugged, "It's none of your business." She stated bluntly. My mouth dropped open, "Mac. If Maddie is in trouble, or hurt, I need you to tell me. Right now." Mac shook her head. "No." I took her hands, "Mac you need to tell me what's going on. It could be really important." Mac hesitated, so I took the chance, "C'mon babygirl, I won't even tell Maddie you told me. I just need to know what's going on." Mac opened her mouth and took a deep breath. "Maddie.. has.... Maddie told me not to tell you I'm sorry momma." She caught herself at the last second and I let out a frustrated sigh, "Alright babygirl, go play with the other girls." Mac stood up and hugged me tightly around the waist. "I love you momma." I smiled, and stroked the back of her head, "I love you to baby." Mac lifted her head and rested her chin on my stomach, looking straight up at me, "Always?" I smiled, "Always babygirl."
Mac ran off to play with Aris, but I stayed in my room, wincing as I looked around, remembering my dark days. I slowly laid down and scooted under the bed, turning on my flashlight on my phone and the words appeared when the light shone across the wood. Written underneath the bed were hundreds of saying and pictures and songs written by me during my lowest times. As the beam of light passed over a particularly horrible scene of a girl being picked apart by her demons, I shuddered. I had drawn that the day before I left for my tour with the Jonas brothers. I felt the demons that stayed in my head, usually a dull drone, grow louder. I could now distinguish what they're saying. I closed my eyes tightly,
Wouldn't it be easier to just not feel?
"Skies are crying. I am watching, catching teardrops in my hands." I softly sang the lyrics out loud. Trying to drown out the voices.
Demi, remember the emergency blade? Taped to the back of the headboard, just a few feet away. You can use it. You can get a release. No one would know.
"You can take everything I have. You can break everything I am, Like i'm made of glass, lik ei'm amde of paper." My voice cracked as the tears came, I shoved myself out from under the bed and grabbed my phone, calling the one person I needed, Nick.
I anxiously shook my leg and the phone rang and rang, "C'mon Nick. Pick up. Pick up the phone." I muttered. Finally, on the last ring, he answered. "Hey Dems, I was just about to-" "Distract me." I interrupted his cheery voice. Instantly, his tone changed, "What? Demi what's going on?" I let out a shaky breath, but Nick spoke before I could explain, "Are you crying? Why are you crying? What's happened?" Immediately, I felt bad for calling him, for making him worry. "I-I just... The urges... are really strong right now Nick. I can feel myself breaking and I don't know what to do." Nick was silent for a couple of seconds, but when he spoke again, his voice was calmer. "What... exactly are you thinking?" I sighed, "How much easier it would be to fall back into the numbness. I need that release, I want to cut so bad right now. The voices are so loud.." I broke off, starting to cry again. "Demi. I want you to think about this. If you were to never feel anything else ever again, would you really be happy? You wouldn't be able to be happy when you see Mac every morning. Or your fans, think of them, that joy you experience, you're happy place onstage, would be gone. The adrenaline when everyone in the crowd is screaming your name, would be gone. All of the Love and happiness when you meet your fans, or see Mac, the love and the strength that you radiate everyday, would be gone. Wherever you go, whatever you do, you feel. You experience things. And you know what? The sadness, the pain, the anger, the jealously, All of those 'bad' emotions? they are proof that you are alive. That you refuse to succumb to those voices in your head. They make you who you are. A daughter. A mother. A sister. A friend. And the most beautiful woman on the entire earth. So trust me when I say, that hurting yourself to numb your emotions is not 'worth it.' But what is worth it? Pushing through the pain and the voice and the urges to come out on top, then to look back and say, 'I made it.' All the pain and hurt and frustration led to this point. And you can either accept that or reject it. The choice is yours. You need to live. Not just survive. Okay Demi?"
I sat there, in awe of what he just said. "Dems? You there?" I realized I was supposed to answer him, "Y-Yeah I'm here, thanks Nick." I said quietly, wiping away the fresh tears rolling down my face. "Demi, I'm always going to be here for you. I want you to call me right away if you ever feel like this again. Even if it's three in the morning, I want you to call me, or find me. And i'll be there. Always. No matter what, okay?" I smiled, even though he couldn't see me. "I will." "Promise?" I could picture Nick's facial expression, and as soon as I thought of him, picturing him in my mind, it was as if someone had punched a hole through my heart. I took a sharp intake of air and Nick sighed, "You okay?" I sniffled, "I just miss you a lot." There was a shuffle on the other line. "I miss you too babe, more than you could ever imagine-" "Who's that?" A voice that I recognized as Joe's came through the line. Nick stuttered, "I- Uhm, No one." "It doesn't sound like no one, who are you calling babe?" Then, a little louder, "Hey babe who are you?" There was a thud, like someone getting punched, and then a yelp, "Ow!" I giggled into the phone, "I better go, I'll text you?" Nick said, I smiled at his nervousness, "Sure!"
We had decided not to tell our families about our relationship. The less people that knew right now, the better. With a ton of people knowing, too many people got involved, too many opinions, and suddenly it wasn't just Nick and I anymore. We wanted to establish our relationship and get a strong base before we went public. I decided to look through pictures of Me and Nick that were on my phone to distract myself. I sat there smiling like an idiot on my bedroom floor, until my phone dinged,
From; NIck<3
Hey BABE(:
____________________________________________________
__________
____________________________________________________
Soooooo that was the chapter! Hope you alll liked it! Some cute Nemi stuff(:
1. What do you think is wrong with Maddie?
2. Tour drama ideas?
3. Sexy Nemi stuff?(;
I've got the next couple of chapters written as a draft and they're pretty much a mix of a lot of things! Drama, cuteness, and sadness!
Comment what you thought and your answer to the questions!
Don't forget to vote!
Next update;755,000
-Rachel
Follow my twitter! @Lovatic_Chica