(Dayu's POV)
"Do you want to try it?" Captain Wang asked me.
I slowly nodded.
"Are you certain?" he asked again, being cautious.
I nodded again. Even though I am not really that certain. But it's been bugging me.
The whole night yesterday. After hearing from that helper that he let his lover do that act to him, I felt cold. How can he let his lover abuse him like that?
But then he said he enjoyed the act and it only hurt a little. Plus it made his lover happy and satisfied.
I want to make Captain Wang happy. I want him to be satisfied with me.
But that act...how can it not hurt? It hurts a lot. When those monks abused me, I felt like dying that time. I was crying, thrashing, confuse why they will abuse me like that.
Then after abusing me, those monks started lashing me. Saying I am an instrument of sin with my pretty looks. They thrashed me so bad I wish for death.
But I survived, like Mei who was abused before me, he came to that temple before me. And Uncle Shu came to our rescue. He saved us and burn those monks and the whole temple.
Now here is a helper who said that the act is not bad but enjoyable too. And here is Captain Wang saying something about preparing me with oil or fat or beeswax.
They are wrong. The helper and Captain Wang are wrong. No amount of oil or beeswax can make that act not hurtful. No amount of preparation can make it enjoyable.
I am scared. But I will prove to them that they are wrong. It hurt. It will always hurt. I will never enjoy that act. Even if it's with the man I adore...
Captain Wang lifted a hand to caress my cheek. I stayed and tutored myself not to flinch. He stared at my eyes.
"I can tell you are nervous. We don't have to do this Dayu..."
"I want to," I said bravely. And it's true. I want to prove to him and to that helper that they are both wrong.
We had a long staring moment. I can see that he wanted to refuse but I am more determine than him. I will convince him if I have to.
I didn't ask Mei about this because I know he will worry and will try to stop me from my plan to go to Captain Wang to do this.
But now I am wondering. Surely Mei is giving himself to Captain Jiang. Did he find it enjoyable too or he is enduring the act to satisfy his lover?
But I can't ask Mei now. This had to be between me and my lover now. Just us...Captain Wang and me.
Captain Wang sighed, "Fine. Let's do this but we will do this at my phase and my way. Understand?"
I nodded. His way and his phase.
"And if I decided to stop, we will stop. If you want to stop, at anytime, you will tell me. Do you understand?"
Rules. I nodded again.
Captain Wang let out a deep breath again and nodded. He then reach out and gather me in his arms to kiss me.
Oh kissing. This I understand. This I enjoy. I snaked my arms on the back of his neck and return his kisses. Our tongues dueled, our breath mingling.
Then his hands started moving. The Captain is taking off the wet soldier's uniform from my body. I felt cold as my skin got exposed but getting naked with him is also not a new thing for me.
I decided to be an active participant. I helped him took off his robe and unlace his pants.
We were both naked when he turn to sit on the raised bed and made me stand between his legs.
He started showering me with light kisses to my chest and belly. I lean my head back to savor the heat that is slowly warming my rain cold flesh.
His touch will never fail to warm me up. His hands, they are both gentle and hot as he slide them up and down my naked body. To my chest, my arms, my back down to my thighs and up again to my hips.
I moaned in frustration when he deliberately passed by my groin area. I am hard and he won't pay attention to it. My hands glided up from his shoulder to his hair, trying to bring his kisses downward.
But he stopped kissing me and took hold of my wrists instead. "My way and my phase, remember?" Captain Wang smiled when I pout. He stood up to kiss my lips before he push me not too gently to the bed.
"Lay down and let me get something first," he said in his "do not disobey me" captain tone.
So I lie down vertically on the raised bed. Looking up at the ceiling, willing my mind to stop thinking. I have something to prove here, no need to dug out hurtfful memories of that night I was abused by those monks.
I heard him rummaging in his armoire. He came back and lie next to me sideways and he dangled a small oil jar up in my face.
"This has a nice lemon scent. My mother sent it to me to mix with the beeswax to polish my sword sheath and footwears."
He opened the jar and the scent of lemon assailed my nostrils. I nodded, the Captain always explain things to me, and I knew he hadn't lied to me before.
Unlike me, always telling him half truths. Maybe I want to give him this act to repay all my lies to him.
Maybe this will make him forgive me when I killed his father and he discovered all my lies and sins.
I gasped in surprise when without any warning at all he flipped me to my stomach and he straddle my thighs.
"This will be easier if you are lying like this..." the Captain said.
I felt my heart thudded inside my chest in an angry rhythym. I feel scared again. Those monks, they abused me in this position too.
I thrashed under him. Squirming and trying to flip myself again. But the Captain pinned me with his hard body and he placed a kiss and whispered in my ear, "Do you want to stop?"
My fear plummented, replaced with irritation. It looks like he is deliberately making me feel scared so I will change my mind and stop what we are doing. I stopped struggling and breath deeply a few times to calm my nerves.
I shook my head, "I want to continue," I said.
He kissed my cheek, "Then keep still and part those legs willingly for me," he whispered again before straightening, his weight lifting off my back.
My heart still beat faster than normal but I did what he said. I keep still and parted my legs, I felt him kneel between my thighs and I close my eyes as I waited for the hurt to start.
But nothing like that happened, instead I felt his open oily palms slide along the slope of my back, up to my shoulder then slide down to my waist.
He is giving me a massage. A form of healing touch to relax the muscles of the body. My uncle used to massaged me and Mei after we had a vigorous training. He said he learned it while traveling the lands as "The Shadow".
I moaned as the muscles on my back started relaxing under his touch. The Captain leaned down again to kiss and whisper on my ear, "That's it, relax for me. I would never hurt you. Never,"
"Hmmm..." I hummed as his hands continued their relaxing glide along my body.
I felt him move then a pop as he open the oil stopper again then he poured oil on the lower part of my back and his hands massage both my ass cheeks.
He kneads them. I groaned, who knew my muscles on my behind needs relaxing too.
His hands drew circle upon circle on my behind. Then I felt a finger going between my ass cheeks. Massaging the puckered skin there.
I whimpered, feeling fear again. He hummed, "Relax my heart. Just a finger. See?" he said as he slowly insert one oiled finger inside me.
I push my face on the pillow and moaned, not in pain but in a different kind of sensation.
So a finger doesn't hurt. If I am honest, it felt strange, to have something invading me there but not painful.
"Does it hurt?" Captain Wang asked me. I shook my head, still moaning in the pillow covering my face. I heave deep breaths in to feed my lungs.
But he started wriggling that finger inside me and I gasped loudly. Oh...what is that? I gasped again when he repeat it, then he started pushing the finger in and out of me.
"Oh!" my head came off the pillow and I put a hand on his wrist. He stopped, "Does it hurt?" he asked in concern.
I felt my face heat up. I shook my head. He leaned down, "It doesn't hurt?"
I nodded. He made me face him, he is smiling at me, smugly, "Does it feel good?" his voice held a naughty tone.
I glared at him. He barked a laugh and started moving his finger inside me again. I bit my lip to prevent from screaming as electricity coursed throught my body.
But he was not done yet. He poured oil between my asscheeks and started inserting another finger to join the first one.
My eyes grew round and my toes curled as sensation after sensation run through my body and pooled in my groin as he started swirling those fingers inside me.
"Still felt good?"
He sounded so smug I want to stand up and clobber his head. But I can't. I am trapped beneath him and his fingers wrecking havoc inside my body.
I feel so hot, so hard, I started squirming and moaning nonstop under him.
Holy hell it feels so good...