Sofia's PoV
Heavy breathing filtered the air and I released a long moan as she collapsed on top of me. It had been a year since I'd last seen her and God it felt good to 'see' her again. Her lips kissed my face and then stopped when they reached my mouth. "I've missed you," she whispered so quietly before capturing my lips in a deeper kiss.
I missed her too. But I couldn't tell her that. I turned my head to look over at the clock that was perched neatly on a small shelf in my tour bus 'room'. "I have to be in there in thirty minutes." I sat up slightly, and looked around to find a shirt.
"So be late," she groaned and moved to kiss my shoulder, "you're a big bad rock star, you can be late once in a while."
I had to smirk and then gasp as teeth sunk into my neck, nipping a biting slowly. "I really need-"
"-to be with me." She said seriously and pushed me back down, hovering over me. "Sofia," she sighed and kissed me again, "God I spent so many nights just... pining over you and walking away was the hardest thing I had to do." Her fingers tracing lightly over the inside of my thigh and then cupping me lightly.
I swallowed and bit my bottom lip, not wanting to get lost in those beautiful blue eyes. "Samantha," I breathed her name and she slipped further into me. I was lost in her.
All of her.
"Knock knock!" We heard from the front of the bus and panic rose in my eyes.
"Fuck!" I sat up quickly and threw Sammy her clothes while trying to tug mine on. I knew that voice coming down the hallway.
"Sofi, what's going on?" Sammy asked me with a deep frown. "Who is that?"
God, I so didn't need that at the moment.
"Sofi! Are you in there?" Her voice was getting closer and I realized I was busted. There was nowhere to run. I managed to pull a tank top over my head before the small sliding door opened and brown eyes locked with mine before they fell on Sammy. I watched her face fall and I exhaled slowly. "What is this?" Tracey asked and backed out of the room, covering her face before glaring at me. "What is this?!"
Yep, Tracey was my girlfriend of five months.
Sammy gave me a confused look and pulled on her jeans before pulling her messy hair back in a ponytail. "What's going on?" She looked at me and my heart dropped.
I remained quiet, not being able to find my voice.
"Answer me." Tracey said, her eyes hazy and Sammy's glistening.
"I'm sorry." I whispered and then felt myself being shoved hard against and pinned against the wall by Sam. She didn't care if I looked scared, she was pissed and hurt.
"How could you?" She hissed and then tightened her fists into a ball on either side of my head. "Who the fuck are you, Sofi?" Sammy shook her head, tears streaming down her face. She turned to face Tracey. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know you two were-"
"We're over." Tracey coldly said as she threw a bouquet of roses on my messed up bed and slammed the sliding door.
I felt numb.
And dirty.
"I don't even know you anymore." Sammy frowned deeply and grabbed her coat, tugging it on.
"You knew me well enough to fuck me." I spat. I was angry and I had no one else to take it out on. I was angry at myself.
I felt a hard slap against my cheek and blue eyes blazing with anger.
"Go to hell, Cabello." Samantha Taylor whispered and grabbed her purse, walking away.
For the second and very last time.
//
"What's on your mind?" Tracey asked softly, rubbing my scalp as we were on our way to Montreal for another concert.
"Everything." I replied honestly.
"That's a world full of 'everything's' baby." She chuckled and kissed my temple while I looked out the window of my bus, watching the scenery rush by.
"Do you think they'll forgive me?" I asked quietly, biting my nails slightly. I closed my eyes when I heard her exhale slowly.
"I don't know," she replied honestly, "but the best you can do is just grovel and tell them how sorry you are," she bit her lip and looked at me, "I forgave you."
Don't remind me.
"I know." I sighed. "I hate myself."
"You'll learn to love yourself once again if you just stop thinking about yourself for once."
I sat up and glared at her. It was hard to stay pissed at Tracey as she smiled at me; she smiled because she knew that I knew that she was right.
"It's just that you've still got a big head." Tracey shrugged and raised an eyebrow. "I bet you didn't think that any of this would fall back on you when it completely backfired."
"But my dad told me not to say anything!" I reasoned.
"Sofi," she sighed and gave me that 'you can't be serious' look, "you could've said something even before Lauren got into the accident. You could've said something even before Dylan was born – you know, about Lucas. I try to understand your reasoning behind why you felt the need to keep it a secret but I can't. Not completely, anyway."
"I just thought it'd be easier." I frowned, all of a sudden my head was fuzzy, not really understanding it myself.
"For who? You or them?" Tracey patted my leg and stood up, walking towards the small fridge and grabbing a beer.
"What is that supposed to mean?" I scowled defensively.
"Maybe you're the one that didn't want to share your perfect day life with your perfect night life. You had them both close to you and you knew that if they got together again, you'd be left out," she looked around the moving bus, "kind of like now."
I blinked and stood up, shaking my head. "That's not it at all!"
"Hey," her brown eyes looked at me softly, "I'm not judging you, Sof, I just know you more than you like to think so."
"Why would I want to keep them apart?" I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at her curiously.
"Simple," Tracey expertly popped the cap off her beer bottle and took a sip, "you were needed by both of them and if they were to reunite, you'd no longer be needed."
Huh.
Really?
"No." I scratched my forehead and shook my head. "No, that's not it."
Tracey shrugged and sat back down on the plush couch. "It's kind of like what happened with you and Sam," she spoke softly, "you wanted us both. You want things you can't have Sofi and you do everything in your power to get it. You don't mean to hurt people along the way but you do handle things carelessly."
I glared at her. "What happened between you, me and Sammy has nothing to do with Camila and Lauren."
"True, but you wanted Sammy back in your life and you wanted me in your life. You wanted Lauren in your life and you wanted Camila in your life. You held onto so many different worlds to keep them apart just so you didn't have to feel... unwanted."
I scoffed and opened my own beer bottle. "I've changed."
I think I've changed.
I wanted to change.
I didn't want to be that person everyone talked about behind their back.
I wanted to be Sofi Cabello – Musician.
Not Sofi Cabello – Rock Star.
"I'm going to bed." I said and quickly finished off my beer before throwing the bottle in the garbage.
"I didn't mean to upset you," Tracey shot up and grabbed my arm, placing her arms around my neck, "I'm sorry."
I pressed my forehead against hers and closed my eyes. "You didn't baby," I whispered honestly, "you just made me see things I tried to avoid." I kissed her softly before untangling myself from her arms.
I had to make things right again.