For weeks I've been working, trying to stand, to walk like everyone. After more than a thousand falls I don't know how I still have faith. How I continue to try and fail?
Will this be my story? Will this be my life? The Rose Hathaway failing that easily. But that's the problem, it's not that easy. But doubts kill more hope than failure ever will.
I have so many people I have to be there for, so many people that are counting on me. I need to protect the Queen and the little one that will be running around.
I need to protect my friends, I must. We all know what's coming and we're getting prepared for it. And I have to be in those guardians that will stand in front row against the Strigoi.
So I keep trying, I have no other option.
Most of the people would be dead till now. I know that at one point my body would give up and the darkness will take over. But I'm doing all I can not to let that happen.
Everyone says that I'm not changed that the belief is still in me but the darkness is shoving it away. Everyone knows me as the girl that has the most confidence, now not so much.
Yes I'm trying and trying but all I do is fail, all I do is hurt myself and others as I continue to lose faith. Lose my temper.
But the chaos in my brain isn't letting me think straight. How do I get this out of my own system? Why is it this hard?
I'm sick of this wheelchair, I'm sick of this hospital room, I'm SICK of this. Why did this even happen? Why to me? Because you want to protect everyone stupid. But if you'd say my life for Lissa and the baby's than I'd do anything.
I wanna win this fight. It might be beyond my power but I'm gonna give all I have.
Sitting in the wheelchair and in front of me , the thing that will teach me to walk. Let's do this.
I got closer to it and tackled my hands around it, at the same time trying to get myself up. I was now on my feet which I could very little feel that I have them.
I stood up straight, trying to lift my head up. One step. Okay, that's good.
Another step. Still having the weight into my hands not my legs.
Another one. Looking down to see my legs and trying to feel confident of my accomplishment.
Another. Looking straight ahead again trying to focus on my body weight.
One more step.
Then. Bam.
I fell to the ground and as I did all that confident I build up came crashing down with me. Someone came to me and helped me up. The smell and the strong but soft touch let me know it was one hell of a Russian God.
"You okay? Are you hurt?" I shook my head telling him that I'm fine. He helped me up and I did the same process all over again. I pulled up myself to my feet and continued to try. "You can do this. I know you can." He whispered into my ear making me feel like the world would stop if he said so.
I smiled at him and he hugged me from behind, making me feel like I'm the only girl in the world that has the power to do anything. I love him so much I can't even describe it.
----------------------------------------------------
More weeks passed by with the same process. The same exercises every day. And no more wheelchair. Now we've improved to crutches. Ugh.
"Rose this is great. You've improved a lot. Stand there. Can you feel this?" Dr. Olenski bended down and lifted my leg, making me wobble a little. The feeling of her hand on my leg make me feel dizzy. The feeling I've been wishing to feel in a really long time.
I nodded my head feeling so happy that I can feel my legs again. How didn't I notice before that I can feel my legs this much.
After 2 and a half mounts trying to walk, on any possible way. I finally did it. Now it's time to learn to walk again and then get into shape.
Dimitri was sitting in my room watching everything. I looked back at him and smiled one fully bright smile that hasn't been shown on my face for months. Now more real than ever.
My smile reflected his beautiful one that made me fall in love with him all over again.
I tried walking on my own to him, the confidence I had at that moment was like the old Rose. I was shining with it.
I was about to get to him, just three steps away, and my legs gave up again. He quickly ran to me and caught me before I fell.
"You're so amazing Roza." He smiled and helped me to my room. "It's enough for today, you need some rest, tomorrow get ready for some action."
I smiled at him as he put me down into my bed. I pulled his shirt to me and then kissed him. His lips so soft, but still burning me. "I love you comrade, I can't live without you."
He laid next to me, my head in his chest and his hand stroking my hair. "So beautiful. So perfect." I kissed him again and fell into deep sleep.
----------------------------------------------------
He helped me day and night trying to get me to walk again and to get in shape.
He didn't for a second doubt that I can't do this. He was so supportive and encouraging. He didn't leave my side.
A few more weeks passed and I was on the edge of getting my walking back to normal and soon starting with the exercising again.
I don't know what I'd do without Dimitri. If he wasn't with me throughout all of this, I wouldn't even be standing right now.
It was amazing how happy he was seeing the life in my eyes again. When I take myself back to the "depressed" days, he was barely smiling. It started the day he saw me try and stand. Even tho I fell to the ground, he was happy. Oh so happy, that I was still trying, that deep down the old Rose wasn't forever gone.
All my friends were there for me through out this whole thing, trying anything to help me, to cheer me up.
Now I'm standing in the center of this mat in the Court gym where after all my struggling all these 3 months I had, was going to show. It was going to show how much I tried my best, to be the best, to be Rose Hathaway.
The one and only.
In front of me were Dimitri, Eddie and Alex. In the audience sat my best friend, her fiancée, my mom and dad and all my friends, including Sidney and Adrian.
I took a deep breath making everything on my mind go away. My only focus are the people in front me, in this moment the threats.
My first move was one that had to be unexpected. I ran to Dimitri who was ready for battle and lowered down seeing him lower his back down too. With me being really short I lowered even more and he followed my movement and with that I jumped onto his back and landed right on top of Eddie, hitting him in the side with a round house kick in air. He fell to the ground, both his hands going to his side. I hope it doesn't leave anything later, but for now he wasn't a threat. Alex jumped on top of me and I caught his hand flipping him over. Then Dimitri was next. His first move was a punch which was blocked, then another and another one. I caught his last fist and tackled myself with it, getting my back to his chest and elbowed him in the stomach, not too hard. I don't want him whining about it tonight.
I took the chance when he stumbled to take him to the ground but he was too fast. He kicked me in the stomach and Alex caught me from behind. With all my strength I grabbed Alex's hands and jumped making our backs both facing the ground. I turned around quickly and put my hand on his chest where his heart was declaring him dead.
I got up to face both people I love ready for battle, my lover and my best friend. I prepared myself for the next hit that was coming from Eddie and ducked it making him go the other way. I ran to Dimitri and kicked him in the leg which made him stumble again.
Eddie was behind me and running my way. I easily got out of the way and he hit Dimitri. Ouch, that must've hurt. I pulled Eddie away and brought him to the ground, having an opening to "kill" him. Dead.
I got up but what I did not expect was to get kicked in the back. I fell to the ground, all the pain I was feeling 3 months ago, it felt like I'd broken my back again. My eyes watered as I lifted myself of the ground and sat on the mat. I didn't have up then I won't give up now. I'll never give up that easily. I turned around seeing Dimitri hesitate and that was all I needed.
I swung my legs under his making him fall to the ground. I jumped on him and I lowered to his ear and whispered softly, "You forgot the first rule comrade, don't hesitate." Then I put my hands on his chest. Dead.
And with that everyone cheered, everyone in the room stood up clapping. I helped Dimitri up and Eddie and Alex came to me hugging me tight. I was so happy. I got my badass back.
Everyone congratulated me and most of them said that they knew that I was going to get back on my feet in no time.
Then Liss came to me. She smiled at me and I hugged her tight. Then let go of her and bowed. "Your head guardian is now officially ready to protect you and your child from the evil."
"I knew you'd be okay after a while. You're amazing Rose. I don't know a person that would be still standing in front of me with his head up after everything that you've went through." She smiled as tears fell her rosy cheeks. I wiped them away and smiled once again.
While the whole event everyone wished me good luck and no accidents like this one I even got a note but I didn't read it I just put it into my pocket.
"Rose?" A voice from behind me scared me. Ready for more action, I turned around to see Eddie. I lowered my hands and smirked at him. Sarcasm is my next weapon.
"Castile. Nice battle there." He didn't react, his face was wearing one heavily guarded guardian mask. What happened? was it that I hurt him? Or did something bad happen before that? My head was filled with so many questions, with no answers. "What's wrong?"
"I need to talk to you, in private." This was scaring me, what the hell happened? This wasn't because of the battle, was it?
We went outside in the dark looking around if someone's there. When I made sure there was no one there I turned to Eddie and said in a low and cold voice. "Talk." He looked so hesitant. What has gotten into him? What was so bad?
"I know who sold us out when we were on that mission." What? How? I let my jaw fall down. That's great! He found out something that we need. Why is he acting like this? If we know who it was we can do something about it. Why was he so upset?
"That's great. Who is it?" I felt the pressure in the air. Who could it be? I can't wait to get my hands on that bastard and rip his head out. He deserved it. Or she...
"It's..."
"Come on Castile, Say it already!" I was loosing my temper already.
Who was it?
"It's me."
Dun dun duuuuuun
I know I'm evil.
But this is one of the reasons why what's happening next happened. The whole explanation is in the next chapter.
I'm gonna update as fast as I can.
Happy Easter!!!
Love
-M. H.🔫💘