Feelings
Zalean
Nandito na ako sa mall. Naisipan ko munang mag window shopping dahil may nakita akong magagandang damit sa isang store. Tingin lang ako ng tingin pero lalabas din mayamaya.
Then napadaan ako sa isang lingerie shop. Agad na naginit ang buong mukha ko. I remember before na bumili ako ng lingerie dito para gawan ng kalokohan si Cavill.
Nilagpasan ko na lang ito dahil nakakahiya ang mga pinagagagawa ko noon. Then i go the grocery section and head straight to the freezer na may ice creams. I picked the rocky road flavor na solo pack lang.
"Oy, isa na lang ang rocky road." Napatingin naman ako sa nagsalita sa likod ko. Then i was shocked whem i see that it was Kier.
"Oy! Nandito ka pala." he smiled at me.
"Yeah, i was buying groceries. And i want to eat ice cream pero isa na lang ang rocky road. Kinuha mo na." agad akong napatingin sa hawak kong ice cream. Paborito din pala niya ang Rocky Road.
"Kung gusto mo share na lang tayo? Hindi ko rin namna mauubos ito." he smiled again showing his complete white teeth. Ang ganda ng smile.
"Okay of you don't mind." tumango ako at nag pa cashier na kami. We went to the food court to sit there.
We just chat at a randome things. At hindi ko na napansin na gabi na pala. Napasarap kasi ang kwentuhan namin. Joker kasi ito.
Sabay kaming umuwi hinatid niya ako sa bahay kasi nag commute lang ako papuntang mall kanina at ang dami kong nabiling libro sa NBS. Book lover pala itong si Kier kaya naman naimpluwensyahan niya ako at siya ang nag recommend ng mga libro na babasahin ko.
Pababa na ako sa sasakyan niya at nagtatawanan pa kami ng bigla na lang siya sinuntok sa mukha ni Cavill.
I covered my mouth in shock. "Cavill!!!" Sigaw ko sa kanya at agad na dinaluhan si Kier para tulungan na makatayo.
"Bakit kasama mo iyang lalaking 'yan?!!!" anger suddenly rise in me. Anong bang problema niya at nanununtok na lang bigla?!
"Bakit ka ba nanununtok, hah?! He didn't do something wrong to you!" Nakakarami na talaga tong lalaking to ah mamakaka tikim na talaga to sakin.
Nagsorry ako kay Kier at napamura ng mahina ng makita ang dugo sa labi niya. I glared at Cavill who is satnding there with no emotion in his face.
Hindi man lang mukhang guilty sa ginawa niya. Nanununtok siya ng inosente!
"It's okay Zal, i think someone here can't control his jealousy." Tumayo na siya ng tuwid and i apologize once again and sumakay na si Kier sa kotse at umalis na.
"What is your problem? Why did you punched Kier?!" Kahit na mahal ko itong lalaking to hindi ko siya papalampasin! This is the second time na bigla na lang siyang manununtok sa kasama kong lalaki. First si Adrian, then si Kier na naman. Ang bait noong tao sa akin tapos sinuntok niya?
"Bakit mo ba kasama ang lalaking yun? May anak ka at asawa, Zalean tapos makikipagkita ka sa lalaking yun? Hindi mo lang ba inisip si Arkile?" So ano ang pinaparating niya? Na nakikipaglandian ako sa ibang lalaki?
What did he meant by that?
"Bakit ano bang tingin mo sa akin Cavill? You think that i would still flirt with someone kahit na may anak ako? I am not that kind of woman. How dare you say that to me. Bawal na ba akong makipagkaibigan? Sana inalam mo muna kung anong relasyon namin bago ka nanuntok!" Agad akong pumasok at pumunta sa kwarto ko. I lock the door.
My tears immediately fell when i lock the door. My heart is aching of the tought that Cavill is accusing me of having a relationship to someone.
Paano niya naiisip ang mga bagay na yun? Hindi ko naman talaga siya masisisi dahil sa nakaraan ko. I used to play with boys before. This really my karma for all the things that i have done.
Now destiny is playing with me.
Cavill
Nanigas ako sa kinatatayuan ko matapos makapasok ni Zalean sa loob.
What have i done? Why did i say that?
I was consumed by my jealousy towards that guy that's why i suddenly say those words!
Wala na rin akong magagawa kahit na i said that intentionally or because of jealousy.
The damage has been done. Ugh! I hate myself when i am angry.
It's just that i have been thinking of them the whole day then when i was waiting. Inihatid pa niya ang asawa ko dito? Then i would see them laughing pagkalabas nila.
Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko. I was so jealous. Nabalik lang ako sa huwisyo ko ng magsalita si Ryko.
"Daddy?" Nakita ko ang anak ko sa harap ko. He is carrying a batman toy in his hands.
"What is it big boy?" i bend down to level our heights.
"Nasaan si mommy bakit kayo nag aaway kanina?" I smiled at him. Arkile is really a bright boy. Sa edad niya ay napakatalino niya. He easily understood things. Inexplain ko sa kanya kung ano ang nangyari. Naiintindihan naman niya ang lahat ng sinabi ko sa kanya.
"Papa, you need to apologize. It's your fault." he said. I smiled at him.
"Yes, big boy i need to apologize to Mama." i mess his hair.
"Daddy you need to gained back mama's happiness. Ang lungkot niya kasi eh." i nodded at him and we go back to inside.
Zalean
After ng away namin na iyon. Hindi ko ma siya pinansin. I was hurt because of what he said to me.
Almost 2 weeks ng naka leave si Cavill sa trabaho niya. At pinagsisilbihan niya din ako palagi hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin siya pinapansin nag tatampo pa rin kasi ako sa kanya eh.
"Baby diba malapit na ang birthday mo?" Tanong ni Cavill, kasalukuyan kasi kaming kumakain ngayon at oo nga naman malapit na ang birthday niya.
"Oo po daddy." Sabi ni Ryko.
"So ano bang gusto mo sa birthday mo?" Tanong ko.
"Beach po. Punta tayong beach." Napangiti naman si Cavill at tumingin sa akin agad naman akong umiwas sa kanya.
"So beach? Imbitahin mo ang mga kaibigan mo at pupunta tayong beach." Nagliwanag naman ang mukha ni Ryko at bakas na masaya talaga siya.
Andito ako sa garden ng mansyon at nagpapahangin hindi kasi ako makatulog eh. Biglang tumabi si Cavill sa akin kaya umurong naman ako sa kabila.
I heared him sigh. I just ignored him.
"Zal, i just want to say i am sorry for what happened weeks ago, sadyang hindi ko lang talaga makontrol ang sarili ko. And i know that is a lame excuse." i didn't face him. Nakatuon lang ang pansin ko sa mga bulaklak sa garden.
"Why did you punched him? Kawawa naman yung tao." i waited for his response pero ilang minuto ang nakalipas ay wala pa rim siyang sagot.
Nilingon ko siya at seryoso lang siyang nakatingin sa akin. Nagulat naman ako sa kanya. Akala ko umalis na siya dahil hindi naman siya nagsasalita.
There was a moment of silence. "I was jealous." i quickly faced him after what i heared. Shock is evident in my face.
"Nag seselos ka kay Kier?" Tanong ko. As in talaga?
"Yes am i jealous." napapikit pa siya ng mariin. "For fucking sake. We were happy that time and then i would hear a news about you being with a guy at the mall. I was waiting for you to come home, pero gabi ka na umuwi and then i saw you laughing with him after going out to his car. Sino ba naman ang hindi mag seselos kung ang taong mahal mo may kasamang iba diba? And please stop saying his name." I was stunned by his sudden burst of feelings.
Speechless ako dun. And he said he is jealous? Am i right? I didn't talk for how many minutes.
Then he breaks the silence between us.
"I know this is not the perfect timing to say this but i don't want what happened before to be repeated. I didn't have the courage to say my feelings to you because i am afraid of your rejection. Pero ngayon sasabihin ko na because i didn't want to regret another day for not telling you waht i truly feel." i covered my mouth in shock. Processing what he's going to say.
"Mahal na kita, Zal. Noon pa kahit noong hindi pa tayo magkakilalang dalawa. I was about to confess when i suddenly found out that my mother will marry your father. And I didn't get the chance to say that to you." huminga siya ng malalim.
"Mahal kita, Zalean. Walang halong biro." then my tears started to fall. Gusto kong pigilan pero hindi ko kaya. Cavill's confession is really hard to process.
"Nagawa ko ngang magintay ng ilang taon para makilala mo ako at hinanap at hinintay kita ng 4 na taon. I know, I did mistakes to you before and i am really sorry for that. I was just too coward before." I dried up my tears but still it keeps on falling.
Halo-halo na ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Kilig, saya, kaba, lungkot hindi ko na alam.
But one things for sure. I also love this man in front of me. I have been guarding my heart towards heartbreak for how many years. But Cavill break the walls in my heart. He also deserve to be loved.
"You and Arkile are my everything now." Napangiti ako kahit na may mga luha pang nagtutuluan.
I gather up my courage to say my confession also. "I also love you." it almost came to a whisper but still Cavill heared what i said. Nagulat siya sa sinabi ko.
"T-talaga?" Tanong niya. Tumango naman ako. He covered his mouth to stop himself from shouting because of what i said.
Niyakap niya ako at hinalikan sa buong mukha ko. Natawa na lang ako sa mga pinag gagagawa niya.
Love can really make you do the impossible things you think.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit ang dali ko siyang napatawad sa kabila ng pag sisinungaling niya sa kin sa lahat ng sakit na dinulot niya sa akin.
At ang dali niya rin akong napatawad sa mga kasalanan ko sa kanya at kay Ryko.
Love is really about taking risk to be with someone you love. Handa kang gawin ang lahat para sa kanya including sacrifices. Pag-ibig nga naman.
We stared at each other and then he leaned closer to me to reach my lips for a kiss. After a few seconds he let go and look at me like i am the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.
"I love you, Zal. Always remember that."
"I love you too, Cavill." niyakap niya ako ng mahigpit. At niyakap ko naman siya pabalik.
Note ni Prinsesa:
Hi maharlika babies! Buti pa ang CALEAN may forever na. Tayong mga single mga maharlika? HAHAHA wag na nga natin yang pagusapan. Basta ang importante buhay tayo! Vote and comment if you like this chapter. Love ya all. Always remember that ;>
For dedication please follow and comment your usename. (kisses and hugs)
Edited and revised ☑️