I set my cell phone down next to me in bed. Holy hell, I just had to hear his voice and I got an ache between my legs. Why did he have this effect on me? It was insane! Argh...this whole friends thing was starting to really suck. I knew Liam wanted more, but I just was not ready to give up my heart again. I trusted him with my life but I barely knew him. This is what was scaring the shit out of me. I couldn't get dependent on him like I was Greg all those years. I needed to get my big boy pants on and figure my shit out.
I got to see him today though, and I had to smile with just the thought. I was already wondering what he would wear. He always looked so damn good when I saw him. Shit, he could have on a paper bag and still look good. Speaking of looking good, I needed to get up and get going!
Eeeepp! I can't believe Greg is buying me a car! I turned on the shower and after a quick five-minute shower, I hopped out and went to the closet. I started to look for something to wear. Shit, I really needed Louis's help picking something out. Just then, I heard him open the door to my room.
"Well, look at you all ready to start your day!" Louis said as he came and sat down on my bed. He was already dressed in a pair of white shorts and a black sleeveless shirt. His hair was laid flat on his head and he had on a pair of black Adidas.
"Shit Lou, how do you put these outfits together like this? You look adorable! What the hell are you doing up and dressed so early anyway? I heard you come in last night. Why did you leave the hospital? Greg wanted to see you," I said as I sat down on the bed next to him. I saw his eyes light up when I mentioned Greg wanting to see him.
"Why did he want to see me?" Louis asked, trying to sound disinterested.
"I think he just really wanted to talk to you, apologize for everything. He said he has been trying to call you, but you won't return his calls," I said as Louis closed his eyes briefly before opening them again.
"I'm sorry I skipped out on you yesterday, but once I heard he was fine, I figured it would be for the best if I just left. I ended up calling Brian back to the hospital for a ride home. Once I got home, I went with my mom to the club to play a game of tennis and I ran into Jason Reed from high school. We talked for a bit, he asked me out to dinner so I figured why not. I came home and left to meet him at Hula Hut. We ended up going and shooting some pool and then I came home. I actually enjoyed myself for once. I forgot what a nice guy he was," Louis said as he stared down at the floor.
"Oh, um...wasn't Jason a few years older than us? He played football and hung around Greg and them right?" I asked as I got up and started looking for something to wear again.
"Yep, that's him. Anyway, he called me this morning and asked if I wanted to have lunch with him. I told him I would see what your plans were and call him back."
"Oh, well...Greg is taking me to get my graduation present today along with Liam."
Louis sat up a little straighter. "Do you know what he's getting you?"
"Yep and you won't believe it! I hardly can!" I said as I jumped up and down.
Louis threw his head back and laughed. "Well, what is it bitch? Don't just leave me hanging here!"
I cleared my throat and looked at him. "He's getting me a car!"
Louis jumped up and screamed, "What the fuck! A car? He's getting you a goddamn car? Oh my gosh. What kind of car or do you get to pick it out? Is there a price max? How the hell can he afford to buy you a new car?"
Jeez, this boy... "Louis, if you would just take a breath I could fill you in!" I said with a laugh.
"Oh yeah, sorry. Go, fill me in...I'm all ears!" Louis said as he sat back down on the bed, clearly trying to keep quiet.
"Okay well, he told me he had some money saved up from working and that this was my graduation present. Yes, I get to pick it out and no, he has not told me a max price...yet! I was really hoping you would come along with me to help me pick it out, but if you made plans with Jason that's okay."
Louis's smile faded. He started fiddling with his shirt. Were those tears building in his eyes? When he looked back up at me, a single tear started to slide down his face.
"Oh my God, Louis what's wrong?" I asked as I pulled him towards me and hugged him.
"Oh Niall, I want to go but I don't think I could see Greg, not today anyway. He left a voice mail this morning asking me to please call him back and for me to stop acting like a baby. I don't know why I did it, but I called him back and I shouldn't have because I was so pissed off with him calling me a baby. It was his voicemail so I left him a message." He started to cry hysterically.
Oh no... "What did you say, sweets?"
He was now just sobbing and shaking. What the hell?
"Louis, what did you say?" I asked him as I pushed him away from me to where I could look into his face.
"I...I just said...I said that I accepted his apology and that he was right, I needed to grow up. I told him he didn't need to worry about my virginity anymore because...because..."
Oh. My. God. I knew where this was going.
"Louis just tell me what you said in the voicemail!" I yelled at him.
He started to settle down a bit. He took a deep breath and started talking again. "I told him he didn't need to worry about my virginity anymore, because I gave it up last night to Jason Reed."
No, oh please God no!
I felt like I was going to throw up. I had to stand up and go into the bathroom and splash water on my face. I was leaning up against the counter listening to Louis crying. Oh my God, how could he do this? Why would he do this? This was all so wrong! I took a deep breath and walked back into the room. I was so mad at him for doing this.
Louis looked up at me with tears streaming down his face.
"Of all the stupid-ass, fucked up shit you have ever done! How could you be so stupid Louis! I'm so disappointed in you right now, you have no fucking idea!" I was shaking from head to toe.
"Wait! Niall, wait! Let me tell you..." Louis jumped up and started to walk over to me.
"I can't believe you would sleep with some guy you barely know just to get back at Greg. What the fuck is wrong with you two anyway? Does fucking other people help you two solve your problems? You probably just ruined everything, Louis...everything!" I shouted at him.
"No wait...Niall please just let me talk," Louis begged.
I just stood there and waited for him to start talking. Nothing he was going to say to me was going to make any this better. Greg was probably devastated thinking he drove Louis to have sex with someone.
Louis wiped the tears away frantically. "I didn't have sex with Jason! I was just so angry and hurt that all I wanted to do was hurt Greg back. I know it was a childish thing to do, believe me I know. I just...shit, I don't know what I was thinking."
I stood there for a second taking every bit in that he just said. I felt like I wanted to slap the shit out of him. "You bitch! I don't know what's worse. You making me believe you lost your virginity or the fact that you just hurt Greg like this. How could you do this? I'm so mad at you right now, I don't even want to talk to you!" I shouted at Louis. I picked up my cell phone to call Greg. It went straight to voicemail.
"Great! It's going to his voicemail. You have to tell him the truth." I said as I looked at Louis with pure disgust on my face.
"No..."
"What do you mean 'no'? You can't make Greg think that you slept with Jason just because you got your feelings hurt. You're behaving just like he did Saturday night," I said as I walked to my closet. I needed to get dressed and ready before Greg and Liam got there.
"I think this is for the better. If Greg thinks I've moved on then he will be able to move on as well. It's pretty fucking clear, Niall, that Greg never had any intention of taking things past friendship. This way maybe we can somehow be friends again later on down the road. He can date whoever he likes. I need to move on and I think Jason might be the guy I need to move on with," Louis said as he walked into my closet and pulled out a pair of white Capri pants and a black sleeveless shirt. "I have a pair of black and white Nikes that will look really cute with this."
And just like that...he was moving on.
"Do you really think that telling Greg you had sex with another guy last night is going to make him just...move on? Lou, I know Greg has feelings for you. Why don't you..."
"I said no! I'm done with all of this; I'm not talking about it anymore. I'm going to get you the shoes then I'm heading out to meet my mom for breakfast, and then I'm going to call Jason. Tell Liam I said hi."
He turned and walked out the door. I put on the pants and shirt and walked back into the bathroom. I tried messing with my hair, but nothing looked good so I ended up just leaving it flat on my head. I ran my fingers over the daisy necklace. I had to smile at the memory of our first kiss. Good God how I wanted to kiss him again so badly. To feel his warm breath against my face, his hands wrapping around my body to hold me close to him. I closed my eyes and dreamed of that kiss. Everything about it was perfect. He was perfect, but did he truly want me? Was I good enough to keep someone like Liam?
I shook my head to clear my thoughts. This is why I needed time. I needed to get my feelings and thoughts in order.
Here I was pushing Louis about Greg and I was too damn afraid to admit my own feelings for Liam. I heard the bedroom door shut, so I walked out to see if Louis had come back. He had left the pair of black and white Nikes lying at the foot of the bed.
I looked at the clock. They would be here any minute. I tried to call Greg again...right to voicemail. I tried Liam's cell next.
"Hey sweetheart, we're almost there." My goodness my heart stopped beating for a second when I heard his voice. I would never get tired of hearing him call me sweetheart. Never.
"Okay great. Um, I've been trying to call Greg. Does he have his phone turned off do you know?" I asked.
"Yeah, um, about that...we have to stop and pick Greg up a new phone. He kind of, well, he kind of broke his phone earlier so that's why it's going straight to voicemail."
"I see... I take it he got Louis's message then?"
"Oh yeah..." Liam said in a hushed tone.
"Right. Well I guess I'll just meet you out front. Louis might still be here and he was pretty clear he didn't want to see Greg today."
Liam laughed a nervous laugh. "Okay Ni, we'll see you in about three minutes."
I hung up and grabbed my wallet and headed downstairs. Sure enough Louis was still home. I heard him on the phone as I walked to the front door.
"Lunch sounds great, Jason. Do you want to just pick me up or should I meet you?"
I had a terrible feeling in my stomach. What was this about? I poked my head into the library where Louis was sitting and waved goodbye to him. He smiled up at me but the smile was so lost and insincere. He then looked out the window and his smile quickly faded. He looked back at me and I could see the tears building in his eyes as he tried to give me another smile and a wave.
Shit...
As soon as I walked outside, Liam jumped out of Greg's truck and helped me into the front seat. He kissed the back of my hand and his smile grew larger when he saw the blush creep up onto my cheeks. Shit! Why does he have this effect on me?
Snap out of this Niall!
I turned to look at Greg, who leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I saw him look past me like he was looking for Louis to be right behind me. There went that sick feeling again.
"Good mornin'!" Greg said as he looked over my shoulder. "Um, where's Louis? I thought for sure he would be coming with you to pick out your new car." He kept looking at me and then back at the house.
"He, um, he really wanted to come, but he'd already made plans for today." I said as I tried to think of a way to change the subject before he asked me what his plans were.
Too late...
"Oh really? What could be more important than his best friend getting a new car?" Greg said as he stared at Louis's house.
"I guess he had lunch plans," I said with a shrug and turned back to look at Liam.
"Liam, I'm so glad you're coming with us."
"Do you know what kind of car you want, Ni?" Clearly he knew I was trying to change the subject but Greg was not letting this go.
"Who did he have lunch plans with?" he asked before I could answer Liam.
Fuck a duck, why me? Damn Louis right now for putting me in this spot.
"Um...with um, an old friend from high school or something," I said as I looked up at Greg who was staring at the house still. I turned to look and I could see Louis standing in the window talking on the phone, probably to Jason still.
"Is it Jason Reed? Is he the old friend from high school?" Greg asked as he looked back at me.
God, when I got back I was going to lay into Louis! His stupid childish behavior put me here in the middle of all of this... fuck!
I looked up at Greg and did the only thing I could do. "Yes Greg, he's having lunch with Jason Reed today. I guess they ran into each other at the country club yesterday."
"Did he take him out last night?"
"Umm...he mentioned something like that." Oh dear God, please Liam change the subject.
Just then Liam cleared his throat and Greg seemed to snap out of it.
"Brad called earlier to see if we wanted to join him and Amanda at Rebels tonight. Do you think you would maybe like to go?" Liam asked me as Greg started to pull out of Louis's driveway.
Oh God, if I could jump across this seat right now I would so plant my lips onto his. I turned around and he winked at me. I smiled back.
"Heck yeah, I'd love to go! Louis, Amanda, me and Heather have all been there once before. Are you going to ride the mechanical bull?" I asked with a smile and a wink.
Liam threw his head back and laughed. "No! But Greg here...he can ride that thing like he grew up in the damn rodeo!"
"Wait, did you just say Amanda and Brad were going? Like as in, they're going together...as, like, a couple?" I asked as it hit me what Liam had just said.
Greg and Liam both let out a laugh.
"Yep, looks like your little friend Amanda left an impression on Brad!" Greg said as he raised his eyebrows up and down.
"I guess so," I said as I laughed along with them.
"Why don't you go ahead and invite Louis to come along tonight also. Maybe him and his friend Jason would like to go," Greg said with sarcasm dripping from his mouth.
"Oh okay yeah, I'll send him a text. What time do you think we'll go?" I asked as I turned to look at Liam.
"How about I pick you up early and we grab a bite to eat. Then we can just meet everyone there. Does that sound okay to you, Greg?" Liam asked as he gave me a wink. I saw his eyes look down and land on my daisy necklace. I reached up and touched it with my fingers and his eyes instantly snapped back up and captured my eyes. His smile just about melted my heart. I tried not to, but I dropped my eyes to his lips. Those beautiful soft lips... Shit, I wanted those lips on mine so damn bad. I felt my tongue run over my now dry lips as I looked back up at Liam.
Oh my... The smile that was on his face was replaced by a look of pure lust. I felt a tremble go through my whole body and the heat instantly on my cheeks. He leaned forward and brushed his hand along the side of my face and gave me that crooked smile of his. He sat back once Greg started to talk.
Holy hell... I could still feel the heat on my face from where his hand touched my skin.
"That sounds like a plan. We'll just plan on meeting there around 8:30. Now, Niall, what kind of car do you want?" Greg said as he looked over at me with a huge smile on his face.
"Well, do I have a price range I have to stick with?!"
Greg laughed. "Not really, just no BMWs okay?"
"Okay, then I'm thinking fuel efficient here."
Greg and Liam both laughed. "I'm sure you are." Greg said with a wink.
"A Honda Accord, if that's something we can afford," I said as I watched Greg's face.
"Somehow I knew that's what you were going to say. Let's go get you a car."
I never thought shopping for a car would be so much fun! I ended up with a silver 2013 Honda Accord. Between Greg and Liam, the poor salesman had no hope. They got it for $300 below invoice and Greg wrote a check for the whole amount. When he saw my shocked expression, he told me he had put money aside from our grandmother's inheritance and had been adding to it the last three years plus what it earned in investments.
I ran into his arms and gave him a huge hug.
I would be so lost without him.
I was on my way to pick up Liam in my new car with Taylor Swift's "Fearless" blasting from the speakers. This song reminds me of how I feel when I'm with Liam. I had to smile as I was singing along to the words. I had invited Louis to come along, but he said he'd made other plans with Jason and said maybe another time.
I pulled up to Liam's house and he was sitting on the front porch on his cell phone. As soon as he saw me he smiled and must have said he had to go to whoever he was talking to. He jumped up and jogged over to the car. I turned Taylor down and put the car in park. He hopped up and leaned over and kissed my cheek.
Shit, there goes that all too familiar ache between the legs. I tried with all my might not to let out a moan. For Pete's sake it was just a kiss on the cheek, Niall!
Liam and I ate at a little Mexican restaurant in Hyde Park and then headed downtown to Rebels. We spent most of the night just sitting at a table talking. Amanda and Brad sure were getting along. They practically hung on each other all night. Greg seemed disappointed that Louis was not there, but he quickly recovered and spent most of the night dancing. I swear every time he sat down 6 guys would walk up to him and ask him to dance. He tried being as polite as he could and danced with most of them, but by 11:30 he was exhausted. He started turning them down.
I was shocked at how many guys completely ignored me sitting with Liam and asked him to dance. He turned them down even though I told him I didn't care. I mean, we were just friends, right?
Then he showed up.
I noticed him chatting it up with Greg first, but when he first walked up, Liam said hi to him. His name was Levi. From what I could tell he must be majoring in Architectural Engineering as well. He soon turned his attention on Liam. He introduced us and he did pretty much everything he could to keep me out of the conversation.
"So, your name is Neil did you say? You're Greg's little brother right?" Levi said to me with a fake-ass smile.
"It's Niall, and yes, I am Greg's brother," I said back with a fuck-you smile of my own.
"So Liam, I didn't know you were dating someone, let alone Greg's baby brother."
Liam looked at me. I know he was waiting for me to respond. So, me being the idiot I am... I answered the question for Liam.
"Liam and I are just friends, Levi. We're not dating." A smile spread across his plastic-looking face.
That was all the bitch needed to hear. He jumped up and grabbed Liam's arm and pulled him halfway up.
"Then let's dance!" Levi said as he was smiling at me.
Liam went to sit back down, "Um, no really, I'm here with Niall, Levi and..."
"It's fine. Go dance Liam, we're not together, you can dance with someone else." What the fuck? I said that before I could stop myself.
Liam turned and looked at me. I saw the hurt in his eyes and he just shook his head. He looked mad.
Oh my God! I just wanted to slap myself for being so damn stupid. I'm sure I just pissed him off with my whole "we're just friends" bit.
"See, he wants you to dance Li," Levi the bitch said as he winked at me and walked with his arm wrapped around Liam's.
Just then Usher's "Hot Tottie" started. Really? Why that song of all songs?
Because life was serving me up another plate full of shit.
I just sat there and tried not to watch them dancing. I looked over at Greg, who was watching Liam. He looked over at me and gave me a small weak smile. Well fuck, that just made me want to look at them all the more.
Holy hell, this guy was grinding all into Liam, and that bastard was giving him just as much as he was giving him, but Liam had his eyes closed for some reason. Levi turned and put his ass on his dick, then he looked over toward me and put his finger in his mouth and sucked it as he pushed his ass into him further. He lifted his other hand and ran it down Liam's face and side. Liam had his hands on his hips moving right along with him.
Oh. My. God. I was going to throw up.
I stood up and walked over to Greg. "Can you please walk me to my car?"
"You're leaving? Honey, what about Liam?" I looked out to the dance floor.
"It looks like he found someone else to go home with."
"Niall, he is just dancing and you told him to." Greg looked back out to the dance floor. I saw him frown. I looked back out. They were still going at it. Now Levi was turned back around, but Liam still had his hands on his hips and they were really moving. Liam's back was facing me now.
"I want to leave...now," I shouted at Greg.
"Okay Niall, Jesus..." Greg took my hand and we started to leave. I took one last look towards Liam. He didn't even know I was leaving. My heart felt like someone was squeezing the life out of it. This is why I could not give my heart to anyone again. If he truly wanted me he would not be dancing with some guy like he was ready to fuck him right there on the dance floor. All I could hear was my mother's voice over and over in my head.
You will never be wanted by anyone...
As soon as we got outside the club, I stopped and took a deep breath in.
"Niall, I don't understand why you're getting so upset. You have told Liam y'all are only friends. You told him to dance with Levi and then you get upset because he does."
"What?" I shook my head to clear my thoughts. "Did you not see how they were dancing? Did you not see what I saw, because to me they were practically fucking on the dance floor!" I screamed back at Greg louder than I wanted to.
"Oh my God, Niall...they're just dancing. Everyone dances like that! Stop acting like this and decide what you want. Do you want Liam as more than a friend or not? If you do then go back in there and tell Levi to take a fucking hike. If not, then..."
"Then what, Greg? What? Please tell me, because you are such an expert in this field." Greg looked stunned.
"You're right. I need to just keep my mouth shut. Let's get you to your car."
Greg walked me the short distance to my car in silence. "I'm sorry Greg, it's just that I'm so scared of the feelings I have for Liam. I don't see what he really sees in me when he can have someone like that Levi or Michael," I said as a tear escaped from my eyes and rolled down my face. Greg wiped it away.
"Niall, like I told you before, honey, you are exactly what Liam is looking for. You're beautiful, smart and you make him happy. You're not one of those girls who will fall into bed with the first good-looking guy who gives them attention. You have to stop hearing Mom's words play over in your head. You are not Mom. You never will be. You have to stop pushing him away. He wants to be with you."
"He sure didn't look like it tonight while dancing."
"I know you think that Niall, but honey, you have to see it from his point of view. You practically pushed him to Levi tonight. Of course Levi is going to try and make you jealous, 'cause he's a bitch who's been after Liam for three years now. I'm sure Liam was hurt by you telling him to go dance. He made a mistake, Ni," Greg said as he lifted my chin to look up at him.
"I know how it feels to make a stupid decision. Please just talk to him when he calls you, okay?"
I took a deep breath and tried to smile. "I just want to get home. Thanks for walking me to my car, Greg. You're a great big brother. I love you," I said as I stood on my tippy toes to hug him.
He bent down and wrapped his arms around me. "I love you too, Ni...more than you will ever know."
I got in the car and watched Greg walk back towards Rebels. My hands started to shake and all I could hear was my mother's voice telling me how I would end up alone like her. I would never be good enough to keep someone like Liam Payne happy for long.
I pulled out of the parking space and started driving back home to Louis's. That same sick feeling I kept getting off and on today was now back. I felt the tears rolling down my face as I touched the daisy necklace around my neck.
You will never be wanted by anyone...