A/N: Just gonna say this right off the bat: I sobbed while writing this chapter. You have no idea how many spelling corrections I had to make.
I'm sorry.
Chapter Sixty-Six: Death and All His Friends
It felt as though my body were on fire as I laid there on the hospital room floor; well aware of the fact that I was laying in a growing puddle of my own blood. I did my best to keep my gaze focused on the ceiling, trying to ignore the fact that I was slowly dying. Trying to ignore the fact that I may never see Joel again.
"Oh. Oh, the packing isn't holding." I heard Bailey say, but I still stared up at the ceiling as I did my best to keep myself breathing. I could feel Bailey's shaking hands messing with the makeshift bandage that she'd placed on my abdomen. "Neither of them are."
"What does that mean?" Mary asked.
"We're dying." I wheezed out. "Bleeding out."
"It means... I need to get them to an OR." Bailey said, ignoring my own answer.
"Someone is coming. Someone will come, like a-a cop-" Mary tried to tell her as I was turned onto my side. I winced as my view altered from the ceiling and onto the hospital bed that Mary had once been occupying.
"No, we need to get them to an OR." Bailey told her, not giving the younger woman a chance to finish her sentence. "That's their last chance if they're gonna live, okay?"
"How are we even gonna do that?" Mary asked as I was carefully placed onto my back once more. "We can- We can barely hold him up on his side, much less move both of them.
"Uh..." Bailey trailed off, trying to think, before she took a deep breath, pointing at something. "There. There. There. Give me the sheet. Yeah, put it out."
I could hear Percy groaning as they worked with the sheet, trying to get him situated on it. After a few minutes of them struggling with him, I saw another sheet being laid out on the floor next to me. Bailey moved me onto my side, making me look at her. I could see a mixture of Percy and I's blood covering her gloved hands, tear stains painting her cheeks. She looked more broken than I had ever seen her before.
"It's okay, it's gonna be okay." Bailey whispered as she lowered me back onto the sheet. I gave a small nod at her words, but I wasn't sure who she was trying to convince, me or herself.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"How much further?" Mary asked as she and Bailey pulled Percy and I down the hall on the sheets.
"We're almost there." Bailey assured her. "We're gonna get them on the elevator, and then we'll be right at the OR floor. We're almost there."
"We're almost there. Okay, Charles? Bethany?" Mary smiled as Percy and as she and Bailey came to a stop, carefully lowering our heads onto the floor.
"We're almost there?" Percy asked.
"Yeah. Just a few more minutes." Mary nodded before turning her attention to me. "Okay, Bethany?"
"Uh-huh." I wheezed as I heard Bailey starting to mutter to herself.
"Dr. B?" Mary noticed, too. There was silence for moment, the only noise in the hall being Percy and I's labored and wheezy breathing.
"There's a hum... elevators make when they're on." Bailey finally spoke up again. "There's a hum. There's no hum."
"What does that mean?" Mary asked. I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the stinging from the fresh set of tears filling my eyes.
"It means the elevators... they're off." Bailey told her. "The elevators aren't working! The elevators aren't working! We need to get to the OR!"
"Shh. Please, stop yelling." Mary begged her.
"Turn the elevators back on! Turn them back on!" Bailey continued to yell, angry. "Oh, damn it! Oh, my God! Turn the elevators back on!"
"Dr. B, please, please. Please." Mary begged her, beginning to cry herself. "That man is still here somewhere."
"Turn the elevators back on!" Bailey cried.
"And he'll hear us. Please. Shh." Mary tried to quiet her. "Stop, stop, stop. Please, Dr. B."
"Okay, okay..." Bailey lowered her voice as she made her way back over to us.
"What- What are we gonna do?" Mary asked. I craned my neck, just barely able to see Bailey standing several feet away, looking at Percy and I both through her tears. "What are we gonna do? Dr. B? What's the plan? You have a plan, right, Dr. B? What do we do?"
I found myself looking back up at the ceiling when I saw Bailey walk down the hall, turning her back to us. I knew what she was doing. I had seen George do the same when his father was in the hospital, as had Jackson when our grandfather was here. I knew she was trying to stay strong, she didn't want Percy and I to see her cry anymore than we already had. She just needed a moment, a moment to break, to be human instead of a doctor.
Tears streamed down my own face as I choked out quiet sobs, knowing that there was no real answer to Mary's questions. There was no way that they could get Percy and I up to an OR without an elevator, and the elevators wouldn't be turned back on anytime soon. We were stuck. Percy and I were stuck. We were going to die.
"We can't get to the OR." I opened my eyes at Mary's words, craning my next once more to see Bailey walking back towards us, taking off her gloves and throwing them into a trashcan by the elevators. "But they- they have to get to the OR. They have to get to the OR or they're- Dr. B?"
"Miranda." Bailey told her as she looked down at Percy and I with sad eyes, ones that were filled with defeat. "We should be on a first name basis. Miranda. Now, gently, take Beth's head in your lap."
"O-Okay." Mary gave a small nod. I bite back a groan as Mary tried to move my head into her lap as carefully as possible, I could see Bailey doing the same with Percy.
"I'm dying, right?' Percy asked after taking off his oxygen mask with Bailey's help. I brought a shaky hand to my own, pushing it off my mouth. Mary noticed and helped me take it off the rest of the way, tears slipping down her face. "Am I dying now?"
"Yes." Bailey was honest with him, her voice soft. "Yes, Charles. You are dying."
"D-Dr. Bailey?" My voice shook from my crying.
"Yes, Bethany, you are dying." Bailey confirmed the same for me. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying my best to bite back my sobs as tears rushed down my face. "But I don't want either of you to worry. I don't want you to be afraid, 'cause I am not going to leave either of you, okay? Mary- Mary- Mary... Mary and I... are gonna be with you the whole time. You two are not alone. You hear me? You are not alone."
"Joel," I choked out, opening my eyes to look over at Bailey. I could see the tears that were continuing to slip down her face, Mary's, too. I could feel my breathing becoming rougher as I cried, unable to think about anything but my son in that moment, my little boy. This couldn't be happening, I couldn't be leaving him an orphan. "J-Joel..."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I don't hurt anymore." Percy said after a little while of all of us just laying there by the elevators. I glanced over at him from where my head rested in Mary's lap, right next to where his rested in Bailey's. "The pain's gone. That's a bad sign, isn't it?"
"Yes." Bailey gave a small nod.
"Can you do something for me?" Percy asked her. "Can you find Reed? When this is over, can you find her? I always... I always had a crush on her. I don't think she knows."
"She knows." Mary spoke up. "Girls always know."
"Yeah?" Percy gave a small smile.
"Yeah. Yeah." Mary gave a weak cuckle.
"But can you... tell her anyway?" Percy asked Bailey. "Can you find her and tell her I loved her? I loved her so much."
"Okay." Bailey nodded.
"And you tell her... you tell her I was a catch." Percy added. "You tell her I was a hot, hot catch, and she missed out on a great guy."
"All right." Bailey sniffled.
"And you tell her I was brave. Even if I turn coward and start crying and asking for my mom in a minute... You lie and tell her I died brave, okay?" Percy asked.
"You are very brave, Charles." Bailey assured him, her voice firm. "You and Bethany both are very brave. Okay? I'm the coward. I'm... the one that told that man I was a nurse."
"You're smart." I corrected her. "Y-You're son w-will have a mom to come h-home to."
"You were smart. I wish I was that smart." Percy sighed. "Tell her I loved her. You won't forget?"
"I won't forget." Bailey promised.
"I-I know you don't like me." Percy muttered.
"I like you." Bailey gave a weak laugh.
"No, you don't." Percy disagreed. "But you were always my favorite doctor. I thought you should..."
"Oh, my God." I choked out, realizing that Percy had just died laying next to me. He was dead and I wouldn't be too far behind him. "Oh, my God."
"Hey, it's okay." Bailey looked at me, but her words didn't match the tears running down her face or the defeated look in her eyes. "It's okay."
"J-Joel..." I whispered my son's name again. "D-Do you have a paper?"
"Uh..." Bailey started to search her pockets before pulling out a pen and blood tinged paper, I wasn't sure if it was my blood or Percy's. "Yeah- Yeah, I have some."
"Can you write something for me?" I asked. She only nodded as she carefully lifted Percy's head off of her lap and placed in on the floor, still on the bloody sheet. She turned to press the paper against the wall, allowing her to write better.
"Wh- What do you want me to write?" She cleared her throat.
"Derek needs- He needs to tell Mark and Jackson everything." I struggled to find the right words, my mind seeming to be going in a hundred different directions as I watched her write what I said. "And tell Lucas, I'm sorry. I- I... I want Jackson to have Joel. I don't want him in foster care, Jackson's family. And... I want Mark in his life, Ashley and Derek, too. I want Joel to know... his mommy loves him, more than anything."
"He knows that." Bailey promised me, glancing my way. It wasn't hard to guess that she was thinking about Tuck right now, thinking about what would happen to her son if she were the one dying instead of me. "You're baby boy knows that."
"Tell Mark..." I paused, trying to catch my breath. I could feel my own pain starting to fade away, my body slowly shutting down. "Tell him I'm sorry... and I forgive him. Make sure he knows I love him... I never stopped. Please, tell them that."
"I will, I promise." Bailey assured me as she tucked the paper back into her pocket. She moved closer to Mary, running her fingers gently through my hair.
"You've been a great teacher." I forced a small smile as I looked up at her. "I'm happy that I was your intern."
"I'm happy you were, too." She smiled down at me. "You and George... you were always my favorites."
"Do you think I'll get to see him?" I asked, adverting my gaze back to the ceiling. "I really- I miss him. Do you think I'll see him when I die? My mom, too?"
"I don't know." She was honest with me. "But I hope so. I'm sure they'd all love to see you, too. If- If you do see O'Malley, beat his ass for me, okay? I never got to when he signed up for the army."
"I- I will." I gave a weak laugh as I felt my eyelids starting to grow heavier, as if I were falling asleep. In a way, I guess I was falling asleep, but this time I would never wake back up. "Thank you... Miranda, for everything. I love you."
"I love you, too, Bethany." Bailey said as I closed my eyes for the last time.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Everything smelt strange, like antiseptic, like a hospital. A frown pulled at the corners of my lips as I forced my eyes open, finding a familiar ceiling staring down at me. It was the same ceiling that I'd been staring at for hours.
"What the hell?" I muttered, pushing myself up into a sitting position. My brows furrowed together, realizing that I'd been laying on the floor of the hospital, in front of the elevators. The exact same place that I'd been laying just moments ago with Bailey and Mary, in a pool of my own blood and Percy's body laying only a few feet from mine.
However, there was no sign that any of that had happened. Bailey and Mary were nowhere to be seen, neither was Percy's body. There was no blood staining the ground like there had been before, having leaked from Percy and I's wounds. I looked down at my own clothes, seeing that I was in a fresh pair of scrubs, no sign of my gunshot wound or any blood. I was fine.
"Hello?" I called out through the eerily quiet hospital hallway, not really expecting anyone to answer. I heard a ding behind me, an elevator. I spun around on my heels, just in time to see the elevator open, my eyes widening at the sight before me. "G-George?"
"Hey, Beth." He was dressed in an army uniform, one that he'd never had the chance to wear himself. His hair was cut short, the typical army buzzcut. But he was here, standing in front of me. In two large steps, I was in front of him and wrapping him in a tight hug, worried that he was going to disappear when I let him go.
"You're really here. It's really you." I whispered into his shoulder, struggling to believe that this was all indeed real. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again."
"I know," he sighed as we broke apart, though I still stood close to him. I could see the sad look in his dark eyes, it was clear that he wasn't happy to see me.
"I'm dead." It wasn't a question, I knew for a fact that I was dead. I had died in Bailey's arms, crying over the fact that I was- had- left my son behind without any parents, just with an uncle he'd only met a few months ago. I knew all of this, but I still needed to say it aloud. I needed to hear the words.
"Well, aren't you a quick study." A familiar voice spoke up behind me. I turned around, only slightly surprised to find Denny standing in front of me, Percy right beside him. "Maybe you should have been the one to operate on me instead of Hahn."
"You always were one for flattery." I shook my head as I walked over, hugging him. Once I was done though, I stepped back, glancing between the three men. "What's going on? I mean, no offense to you, Denny and Percy, but neither of you were on my list of people I wanted to see when I died."
"Ouch." Percy chuckled. I gave him a playful slap on the arm, it was nice to see him back to him old self, no longer pale and groaning in pain as he died. It was almost as though it had all been a dream, that we'd never been shot. However, George and Denny's presence just reminded me that it wasn't a dream, that it had all really happened.
"Seriously." I looked around at the three of them. "What's going on? Why are we in the hospital still?"
"Beth, something happened." George started to tell me.
"Yeah, I was shot." I stated the obvious. "Percy and I both were, we died in Bailey's arms."
"You were shot." George nodded in confirmation. "But you didn't die, at least, not like you think. Beth, you passed out from the blood loss, you didn't die right away like you think you did. You were still breathing when the police found Dr. Bailey and Mary."
"Yeah, and then I died and came here." I shook my head as I started to walk around, heading towards the nurses' station down the hall. "Where is she? She should be here, she's the one I wanted to see when I died, so where is she?"
"Beth, she's not here." Denny told me, knowing who I was talking about as the three of them followed behind me.
"Why?" I turned back to face them, growing more agitated by the second. "Why wouldn't she be here for me?"
"Because she knew that if she was here that you wouldn't listen." George said, a sad smile filling his lips.
"Listen to what?" I crossed my arms over my chest. "That I'm too much of a screw up so I'm being sent to hell instead of heaven? I don't care, I just want to see my mother."
"You can't." Percy rolled his eyes at me. "Now would you just listen to us? Unlike the rest of us, you still have a chance."
"He's right." George nodded in agreement when I stayed quiet, unsure of what they were talking about. "This isn't about whether you're going to heaven or hell, Bethany. You still have a chance to go back, to live your life."
"That doesn't make any sense." I frowned, shaking my head slightly. "I'm dead. I bled out on the hospital floor. I died."
"So did Meredith when she fell in the water at the ferryboat crash." Denny recalled. "She flatlined for so long, but she came back. She lived."
"I-It's different." I shook my head.
"True." Percy gave a small nod of agreement.
"It might be different, but you still have this chance." George pressed, seeming to be ignoring Percy now as he focused on me. "You can go back to Derek, Meredith, and Alex, see everyone again. You can go back and get to know your brother, raise Joel to be a strong and intelligent man. You could have another chance with Mark, tell him how you feel. You can be happy."
"But it's- It's not fair." I frowned, looking back at Percy. "What about you? Why do I get this chance but you don't? What about Reed?"
"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." Percy assured me. "But I'm gonna kick your ass if you don't take this chance. That kid of yours needs you."
"They all need you." Denny added. "You mean so much more to all of them then you know."
"You- You met here, didn't you?" I asked George.
"Yeah, I did." He nodded.
"Can you tell her that I love her?" I cleared my throat, taking a deep breath. "And that I'm sorry, for everything."
"I will." He promised me. I smiled as I pulled him into a tight hug once more.
"I miss you Georgie, we all do." I whispered into his shoulder as I held onto him, he held onto me just as tightly. "We're also proud of you, of what you did for that woman. You were a hero."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
There was a dull ache in my stomach when I started to come around, paired with antiseptic odor that could only mean one thing: I was in a hospital. As I forced my eyes open, I recognized the beeping of a heart monitor machine.
My vision was slightly blurred as I gazed down at my body, finding myself dressed in a thin hospital gown. There were various wires attached to me, and I could feel a tube wrapped around my face, positioned under my nose to help provide me with oxygen. I felt disgusting as I laid there in the hospital bed.
My gaze trailed away from my own figure and to the left side of my bed. There was a chair positioned next to my bed with a familiar figure fast asleep in it, though he didn't look comfortable in the slightest. His hair was messy and there were bags under his eyes, his clothes wrinkled. It was clear that Mark had been in that chair for sometime. I shifted my gaze over to the right side of my bed, finding another sleeping figure in another chair, Jackson. He looked just as bad as Mark with bags under his eyes and his face unshaven, his body bent at a strange angle in the chair. I noticed his hand laying on the bed, close to my own.
"Jackson," I whispered, my voice rough. I inched my hand over to his, wrapping my fingers around his and giving it a hard squeeze, as hard as I could manage. It took a minute, but I saw Jackson's eyes flutter open, a yawn escaping him. He blinked a few times before his eyes landed on his hand, widening when he noticed my fingers. I smiled slightly when his eyes moved to my face, seeing that I was awake.
"Thank God." Jackson muttered, starting to rise to his feet. "I'll go get your doctor."
"Don't." I shook my head, glancing over at where Mark was still sleeping. "Wait a little bit, let him sleep longer. You should sleep some, too. You look terrible."
"Thanks," he rolled his eyes. "How are you? How bad is the pain?"
"It's manageable." I assured him. "How long have I been out?"
"Almost a week." He informed me. "We were starting to think that you might not wake back up. You had all of us worried."
"Joel?" I questioned.
"He's at Meredith's house. Meredith, Ashley, and Lexie are all there with him." He told me. "He keeps asking about you, wondering when you're coming home. None of us have really known what to tell him."
"Well, hopefully he'll be able to come visit soon." I tried to be optimistic. "Why don't you go call them, let them know I'm okay?"
"Fine, but I'm bringing your doctor with me when I come back." He rose to his feet, leaning over to press a kiss to my forehead. "I'm glad that you're awake, Beth."
"Me, too." I gave him a small smile as he headed out of my hospital room to call the others. Once he was gone, I found my gaze shifting to Mark once more. A small sigh escaped my lips as I reached over and rested my hand on top of his, allowing my eyes to close once more. I just laid there, allowing myself to relish the fact that I was here, I was alive and still had my family.