Everybody is dancing their heart out. Loud music rams throughout the club. People are dancing, flirting, and kissing everywhere.
Honestly, it's your first time going into a club. You're an introvert so going into crowded places actually isn't your thing. But, today you're so frustrated, upset and mad.
What happened?
You met Bang Yongguk through Zelo. You and Zelo grew up together and you both are pretty close. But, as an introvert girl, whenever Zelo invited you to come to their party or meeting his members you would make some excuses and decline it politely. Of course, Zelo wouldn't force you to coz he knew about your problem.
But 6 months ago, Zelo knock your door in the middle of the night and that's when your life starts changing.
YOUR POV
6 MONTHS AGO
*KNOCK KNOCK*
Urghh, I woke up from a deep sleep. I check the time from my phone. 2.15 A.M. Who actually come around this time? I quickly grabbed my jacket, wear my hat and mask. I check the peephole first before opening my door. Oh, its Zelo. He's waving.
"Zelo ah, why didn't you call me first before coming?" I ask while rubbing my sleepy eyes.
"I forgot to bring my phone. Sorry." He giggled.
"Anyway, what bring you here? Its midnight, you should be sleeping by now."
His eyes was shaking before pulling someone from behind him. I was shocked. It was one of his members. I don't know his name but Zelo has showed me a photo of them before.
The curly black haired guy didn't give me even a single glance.
"Ah, an..anyeong.haseyo." I awkwardly wave and greet him.
"_____________, can we go inside first? Its freezing out here." Zelo ask.
"Yes, please come in. Sorry, should have invited you inside sooner"
I ask Zelo and the black haired guy to sit down while I excuse myself to the kitchen to make some hot choco.
"This is all I have." I put the hot choco on the table and take a sit beside Zelo.
"So, do you have anything important to tell me Zelo ah?" I ask.
"Actually I have a favor to ask you. Only you can help me with this."
"What is it? Tell me."
He turns his head to the black haired guy. The guy is looking at us without any expression. Creepy. Zelo gently grab my hand and bring me to the kitchen.
" Actually, my hyung is sick. So, I need him to be at a better place while he's recovering. I think your place is the best choice so pleaseeeeee let him stay here for a while." He holds my hands and begs.
"WHAT? Are you crazy? You know I'm sooo uncomfortable when people are around!" I was a bit shocked and mad.
"I know. But please, just for a while I promise" he still begging.
"Aigoo, I'm speechless. You said that he's sick right?" I actually begin to have a soft spot for him. Well who can decline when a sick person needs your help?
"Panic disorder. He got a few panic attacks before. The company is giving him a break so that he can focus on his recovery. Staying in our dorm is not really a good choice coz he'll be alone most of the time. Our comeback week is starting in a few days so we won't be at home that much. I'm just scared that anything can happen whenever we're not around. Other hyung told me that he's been a little bit depressed lately."
"Oh poor guy.." I feel bad for him.
"You don't have to do anything. Just make sure he's in a good condition and take his medicine on time. The therapist will come twice a week. That's all. When our promotion ended, he will return to the dorm I promise." He tried to convince me.
"Alright alright. I will do it." I agree coz I can totally relate to him.
"Thanks!! I know I can count on you" he gave me a big hug.
-----------------------------
Since that day, my live started to change. Zelo introduce me to him formally. So from there I get to know his name. Bang Yong Guk.
We never directly talk to each other. Its hard for me to start a conversation with any other people except for Zelo. So we decided to communicate using sticky notes. Every day, I would write him a question like "Have you take your medicine?" or "What do you want to eat for breakfast, dinner and lunch?" and stick it on his room's door and he would reply those question the same way using sticky notes.
One morning, I realized that he didn't answer any of my questions so I just barged into the room, worrying that something might have happened. As soon as I enter, the room was completely dark. The light is switched off and the curtain is closed.
"YONGGUK-SHII! YONGGUK-SHII! WHERE ARE YOU?!" Bad thought runs through my mind. Did he overdose the pills? Or he got that panic attack again? I was trembling and run throughout the room, calling for his name before knocking on something and fall down. I can feel some warm liquid flowing from my head.
Suddenly the light switched on. Yongguk was shirtless and had his eyes widen when he look at me. He quickly approaches me before staring at my face.
I blush.
"Pabo ah, what are you thinking about running in the dark. See you got hurt." He pulled me up and lift me up bridal style to his bed.
Damn. I blush even harder. My heart was racing like crazy.
He went to his cupboard and look for something. It was a first aid kit.
He took a sit beside me and cleans my wound before putting a bandage on it. The whole process feels like in a slow motion mode. Whenever he stared and touches my face, my heart is beating so fast that I feel like I can't breathe.
"th..thanks." I thanked him as soon as he's done.
"Welcome. May I ask why did you yell out my name just now? I was shocked you know." He ask while staring at me.
"no..nothing.. I'm just worried..that you didn't answer my notes." I replied while avoiding his eyes.
"Oh, you're worried?" He smirks before continuing. " I stayed up last night to finish up my song. Went to bed at 6 so I just had my 2 hours sleep before you came." He gave a small laugh.
"Sorry.. Sorry for interrupting your sleep."
YONGGUK'S POV
"Sorry.. Sorry for interrupting your sleep." She gets up and bows a few time.
It was kind of funny looking at her guilty expression and I laugh.
She suddenly pushed me, making me fall and lying down. I instantly stop laughing. I was shocked by her sudden move.
She comes closer to me making my heart begin to race. She whispers something.
"You should sleep more. I'll put your food on the table so don't forget to take your medicine afterward. Have a nice sleep." She whispers directly into my ears.
At that point, her voice sounds so angelic. I don't know why but her voice gave me chills. My ears turn red and I'm frozen. My heart still races like crazy.
She covered me with a blanket before turning off the light and exits the room.
I'm wide awake now. I don't feel sleepy anymore.
___________
Ever since that day, we stop using the notes to communicate. I didn't lock myself in my room anymore. We spend our days watching movies while eating ramyun. ___________ also help me with my new song.
"______________, can you buy me a coke. We're out of coke." I said after checking the fridge. Whenever we need anything, she will be the one to buy them considering that I might bumps into my fans.
"Okay. Do you want anything else?" she ask while putting on her jacket and mask on.
"Nah, just coke."
"Got it. I'll be right back" She exit the house.
I waited for a two hours but she still haven't return. What took her so long? I called her dozens of time but she didn't pick up any of my call.
As I was about to head out, the door slowly open. It was her!
"Where did you go?" I ask and gently snatch the plastic from her hands.
" I..i met..my friend. Sorry it took me a while." She said before walking away to her room. Something is not right.
For the whole day, I'm waiting for her to come out from her room but she didn't. I decided to just go to bed when suddenly I heard loud noises from her room. I ran toward her room.
"______________, what's that sound?" I yell from outside.
"noth..nothing. My books fell down." She replied.
"Are you okay?" Her voice sound different and makes me worried.
"Yes. I'm fine. Let's talk again tomorrow." She sounded like she was out of breath.
"I'm coming in." I'm still curious so I decided to go in. But her door was locked.
"let..talk tomm..orrow" YES SOMETHING DEFINITELY HAPPENING TO HER! She doesn't usually talk that way. I slammed her door a few time before successfully breaks the knob. I rush inside and noticed the room was pitching black.
I quickly switch on the light and look around.
"Oh goshh________!" I yell out her name as soon as I saw her crouching while grabbing her chest.
"Yahh yahh what happened to you?!" I lift and put her on her bed.
She groans in pains and breathe heavily. Her face is pale white.
I quickly grab my phone and call Zelo.
"Hello, hyung." He pick up.
"Zelo ah, is ___________ sick or something? She's sweating and cold." I ask him while my other hand keep on stroking her hair.
"What? did she went somewhere just now hyung?"
"She went out to buy me a coke. That's all. Why?"
"Didn't she tell you about her sickness hyung?"
"No. She didn't tell me anything.."
"She also has a panic disorder! An extreme one"
I'm shocked and speechless. Why didn't she tell me about this? If only I know I wouldn't ask her to even take a step outside.
"I'm nearby. I'll head there right now." Zelo said before ended the call.
I took a towel and wipe away her sweat. She's shaking and breathes heavily with her eyes close.
"_______________, wait a sec. I'll look for your pills." I told her before going through her bag. There is none. I then look on the drawers, cupboard, vanity but nothing is found. Just before I exit the room to search on the kitchen, something in the dustbin caught my eyes. It was a bottle.
FINALLY, I found her medicine. I took it and found out that it was empty... I lose my mind.
*Cough cough cough*
Her cough becomes louder. I quickly went to her. She's cold as ice.
"HYUNG!" Zelo suddenly come into the room.
"Zelo ah, her medicine has finished. I can't just give her mine coz I'm afraid the pills are unsuitable with her. Let's bring her to the hospital." I tried to lift her up but Zelo stopped me.
"No hyung. She really hates the hospital. Her condition will worsen if she goes there."
"What are you talking about? She's SICK and out of medicine!" I raised my voice.
"She's an introvert hyung and that's mean she's extremely sensitive with people around her. So hospital is not really a good idea. That's why she prefers her therapist to come here instead of going to the hospital" Zelo sound very worried as he keeps on glancing at her.
"I don't care. I'm bringing her there!" I made up my mind.
"NO HYUNG. PLEASE UNDERSTAND HER!" Zelo stopped me.
"ITS BETTER THAN LEAVING HER IN PAIN LIKE THIS! I CAN'T WATCH HER LIKE THIS!" I pushed him away.
"don't..bring me there..please" she finally spoke up. Our eyes turn at her..
I quickly take a sit beside her and wiping her sweats while Zelo is stroking her hair.
"Don't worry. I'll come with you. I'll stay with you there I promise." I tried to persuade her.
"No..people might recognized you there... I don't want any harm on you."
I really can't believe this girl. She's in a condition where she shouldn't worry about anyone else.
"PLEASE WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF!" I can't help but feel frustrated.
Her trembling small hand approaches mine.
"It's okay. I've been used to this pain. It really didn't affect me that much." She smiles weakly.
"I've felt that pain and I know that it isn't something you should be used to." My eyes tears up.
She just smiles and tries her best to hold the pain.
That night, we both didn't sleep and keeping an eye on her till her pain goes away.
____
*NEXT DAY*
I'm awaked by a loud noise. I opened my eyes and noticed that ___________is not on her bed. I saw Zelo was sleeping on the couch.
I quickly gets up, my heart start to race and worry again. What is the noise I heard just now? Did she fell down? Or she blacks out?
I dashes quickly to the kitchen coz I'm pretty sure the sound come from there. I scanned the kitchen and saw _______________ crouching on the floor.
"_______________!!" I yelled at her and lift her up.
She was startled and confused.
"Are you hurt?"
"No...but..can you put me down..?" She ask shyly. I can see her cheeks slowly turn red.
"Did you fell down? I heard noises just now." I put her down.
She didn't reply and just pointing on the floor. There are glasses scattered everywhere.
"The cup..slip from my hand.."
"Thank god you're alright." I let out a loud sigh.
"sorry if I woke you up."
I was so relieved that my body moves on his own. I hug her tightly. SO tightly that I can hear her squeaks in pain.
"Opps..sorry." I scratching my head as soon as I let go of her.
She didn't say anything and just giggles.
________________
YOUR POV
Since that day, we knew that both of us has something special going on. We became very fond of each other.
Yongguk took a very good care of me. He didn't let me go out anymore and whenever we need anything, he will be the one to buy them.
We would cuddle while watching movies, cooking together and fool around with each other. I never feel so comfortable with anyone like this before. He totally owns my heart. He's my everything and I treasure him so much.
We were always be there next to each other whenever our therapy session starts. Holding each other's hand while in therapy makes our recovery process faster than ever.
And just after 4 month, Yongguk is finally recovered. Unfortunately I'm not but I'm getting better and better each day. My heart didn't beat too fast whenever people crowd me anymore.
One morning, I woke up and went to Yongguk's room to wake him up. So I open his door.
"GOOD MORNING LOVE!" I shouted but what in front of me shocked me.
There are a group of strangers on his room. He look at me with surprised expression and signal me to get out. I politely greet the people by bowing and exit the room.
Suddenly, somebody grabs my arm. I turn my head and saw two big guy in front me. One of them pulled me inside my room and the other one followed behind before locking the door. I can hear Yongguk knocking the door and yelling from outside.
"What is your relationship with Gukkie?" He still grabs my arm tightly that makes me whimper in pain.
My heart beating fast and I cried in fear. These guys scared me.
"She even had ton of pictures of them." The other guy went to my table and going through my stuffs.
"SO YOU DO HAVE SOMETHING WITH HIM HUH?! DO YOU KNOW WHO HE IS?!" The guy who held my arm grabbing even harder that I cry louder.
"DAMN IT HYUNG! OPEN THIS DOOR AND TALK TO ME!" Yongguk's smash the door harder.
The guy finally let go and push me. I fell down.
They open the door and throw our pictures at Yongguk.
"Do you mind explaining this?"
Yongguk is glaring at them before helping me to stand up.
"I'll go with you guys. Just don't ever touch or meet her again!" He said while holding my hand and pushing me behind him.
"We'll wait outside. I give you 10 minutes to pack your stuff." They said before leaving.
"Oppa..what happened? Who's those guy?" You ask with your hand shaking.
"People from my company. They found out that I'm not living in the dorm. Looks like I have to move back to the dorm, dear." He said while pushing you gently on the bed. He massaged your shaking hand.
"oh.. so you have to go? Can't you stay?" You can feel your tears start welling up.
"I'm afraid I can't. If I don't go they will keep on coming here to bother us. I don't want anything to happen to you. You're not fully recovered yet." He answers with a sad expression.
"But.. promise me that you will always come and visit me.."I started sobbing.
"I promise.. Don't worry."He hugs you.
_________________________
It's been 2 months since Yongguk moved out and he still haven't call or meet me yet. Every single day is frustrating as I keep on waiting for his single call. On that long 2 month, I cope with my frustration by drinking. I know that taking pills is bad if I drink so stop taking my medication. Yeah, wrong things to do. I know.
Zelo came a few times but I never open the door for him. I don't feel like talking to anyone. I even stop my therapies. Guess that without that guy, I have no will to live.
I always watches BAP performances and variety show on TV. Well that the only way I can see him. But more I watch him, the more I'm suffering. I fell into depression. I lose a lot of weight.
One day, I opened my tv and went through all channel to look for any BAP related show and ended up watching their new variety show. It was their first episode and I can see Yongguk is talking and laughing like nothing happened.
Suddenly, there are a group of female idol appear. The boys are screaming excitedly but Yongguk just smile shyly. I was a bit hurt by that.
The MC told the girls to empress the boy so that they will choose them as a partner. Most of the girls start dancing sexily while approaching Yongguk. They touches him everywhere and he smile shyly. I throw my remote at the screen. Do you like that so much Yongguk? I never even touch you but those girls....
I locked myself in my room for days. The scene from the show never leave my head. Is that the reason why he didn't look for me anymore? Did he met someone else?
I was so mad and out of mind.
I don't know why but I get up, putting on the mini dress I got for a birthday gift, putting on a thick make up and wore my high heels.
I'm wandering around the city for a while before finally get into some random club.
It was loud. There are a lot of people. A LOT. I never been to anywhere as crowded as here.
I take a sit at the bar and watches people flirting. I smiles. I keep on imagining that I was there with Yongguk.
People keep on coming to the club and it became more and more crowded. I started to feel stuffy and nausea. I closes my eyes when suddenly a bartender gave me a drink.
"I'm sorry but I didn't order this." I confusedly told them.
"Those guy buy this for you." He pointed at a three guy across me. They were smiling.
With my naïve mind, I thought that they're just being nice so I wave at them as a thank you sign before drink it in one shot.
After a while my head began to spin. I tried to get up but I cant. So I just sit down hoping that the dizziness will go away.
I can hear foots approaching me.
"Miss, are you alright?" Somebody ask me.
"I'm fine. Thankyou." I replied without looking at them.
"I think you should go somewhere quite. Its too loud here for you. You look sick." The guy grabs your shoulder.
"I SAID I'M FINE!" You pushed his hands.
"Just come with me. I'm not a bad person." He grabs my waist and lift me up. My body is too weak to resist. My legs lose it strength.
YONGGUK'S POV
We just finished our interview. I look at my watch. Oh its 1 A.M. I took my stuffs and about to exit the building. After moved out from __________'s house, I was terribly hurt. The management and company became so strict that they confiscated our phones, tablets and even laptop. All of our movement been monitored and watched. I can honestly say that I've changed. I forgot when is the last time I'm having fun with my members. The smile and laugh I gave on the show is just an acting. I was force to act that way. Beside that, I never laugh and play with them off screen.
I was about to exit the building when suddenly Zelo ran and grab my arm.
"Oh Zelo ah, why?" I look at him confusedly.
"Hyung, I have something to show you." He pull me into an empty room and hand me a phone.
"Zelo, whose phone is this? If they knew you about this then you're done!" I was a bit worried for him.
"Its Kang hyung's phone. (BAP Manager). He told me to show this to you. His friend took this photo and send it to him" Kang hyung is the only manager who's still in a good relation with us. He knew about my problems and always try to help me in any way but he cant because of the management.
I took the phone from him and stared at the screen.
It was a photo. A photo of ____________ sitting alone at the bar, drinking. I just cant believe my eyes.. Is that really her?
"Zelo, where is this place?" I anxiously asked him. Well I know that place is not a place that she should be at. Its too crowded!
"Based on the location here, its V Club. I think its nearby. You should go now. Here's the key." He gave me our car's key.
Without thinking, I rushed toward the car and dashes to the club.
_____________
*AT THE CLUB*
As soon as I enter the club, people start to bumps into me. Too many people!
I scanned the place and found a bar and ran there. There are no trace of her. I look around desperately hoping that she's still here. When suddenly..
"STOP..touching.." I heard a familiar voice. I turn my head toward there.
It was a close section with a sofa and place to drink. I slowly approach the voice.
"Stop whining, just drink this!" A guy's voice is heard. My heart start beating and I quickly open the curtains.
Right in front of me, there are 3 guys sitting and touching her waist. She looks pale. I notice that there are pills scattered on the table and some are drop inside a drink. They were about to force her to drink.
I quickly snatch the drink and throw it on the floor. The guys are confused and all of them stand up and pushed me.
"WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM HUH?!" one of them said as they crowd me.
"I'm taking her" I glare at them before pushing them aside and lift _____________.
Suddenly one of them pulled _____________'s arm making her stumbling and ended up in one of the boy's arm.
"GO FIND OTHER GIRL! SHE'S OURS" they began to push me out of there.
My eyes keep on staring at _______________. She didn't move and look like she's about to faint any time soon. They definitely had done something to her!
FCK IT. I reached my limit when I saw the guy that holding __________ started kissing her neck. I punch the guys straight on their face before pulling the bastard away from her.
I put ______________ on my hug while the other guys began stomping and kicking me. I don't want her to get even a scratch. Not on my watch.
I tried to hold the pain. I can hear my bones crack.
"HYUNG!!"
I turn my head and saw my boys standing in front of me. Their eyes widen as they realized that I'm in such situation.
They began kicking and beating the guys ass. It was a total hectic!
I turn my focus at ______________. She didn't move. I was trembling in fear.
"________________, open your eyes darling. I'm here." I gave her a light slap hoping that she'll woke up.
But still no movement.
"Guk ah, lets get out from here." Himchan suddenly came from behind.
"She doesn't look okay. Lets bring her to the hospital." Daehyun suggest.
"No.. I'll bring her to our house. Zelo, call and tell her therapist to come asap." I lift her up and ran to the car before speed up to our house.
___________
YOUR POV
I open my eyes. When did I get home? Suddenly I remembered about the guys last night. I started to tremble. Did they do something to me?? My heart suddenly beating so fast that I can't breathe properly. I hold my chest and groans.
"____________!" suddenly my door slammed open. It was him!
"op..pa?" In a blink of eyes, I found myself wrapped up in his warm hug.
"Are you okay? Hold your breath and let it out slowly." He said as he pat my back.
I don't know why I began to sobs so hard that makes it even harder to breath.
"Shhhh... stop crying. I'm sorry darling. I'm the bad one. Everything is my fault." I can feel his warm tears fall on my neck.
His soothing voice, warm hug makes me cry like a baby. I really miss him. If this is a dream, I never want to wake up.
"I won't leave you anymore. I promise." He breaks the hug and look at me straight in the eyes. I can see the sincerity from his shining eyes.
"Promise?"
"Yes, I promise." He answers before kissing my hand.
"_____________, you're awaked? Hyung, take this." Zelo appear and pass a tray to Yongguk.
"Now, take this alright." He gave me a few pills and a glass of warm water.
I take the pills and throw them inside my mouth. My eyes are still staring at Yongguk..
"Your therapist told me that you didn't let him in when he came. Did you stop taking your medication too?" He ask in his sweet low voice.
I nods.
"Pabo. Why did you do that?" He hugs me again and strokes my hair.
"are..you leaving me again?" I ask.
"No. I'll stay here. I will never leave, I promise." He answer.
"What about your company?"
"I'll take care of that. Just worry about yourself can't you?" He let out a sigh.
_____________
Since then Yongguk moved back to our house. I began my therapy session again and start taking my pills. Yongguk is always there to make sure I was fine.
He told me the reason why he couldn't contact me those times, the problem his company gave him and the hard time he went through. I feel bad. I thought I was the only one that is suffering but I'm not.
His company knew about this and threatened him that they will end his contract if he doesn't leave me. But his members attack them back by saying that they will all leave the company if Yongguk is expelled.
SO, the company has no other choice than just let him do what he want. Well, BAP is their money maker and once BAP leave, they might have to shut down their company.
And about the club incident that night, I got a pretty hard scold from Yongguk. He scolds me for wearing such exposing dress and the thick make up. He warned me to not go to any club anymore. He would bring the incident up everytime we argue.
But at the end of the day, we will still lie next to each other and cuddle all night💕
P/S : I'm a hardcore Babyz and Yongguk is my ultimate bias. Finally he returned after a long hiatus. I know he seem a bit quieter than before but lets just support him and wait for him to fully recover and be smiley again. And about Himchan, let us all pray so that he will be fully recovered. BAP FOR LIFE!