we both huddled in the porch, each of our gifts in our hands as we waited for the door to open. seokjin rang the doorbell, and in an instant, the door opened, though nobody was there. our gazes travelled down, only to smile as we spot young jooheon smiling up at us, a birthday cap in his head. "my birthday!" he giddily cheered, earning soft chuckles from the five of us.
"happy birthday, jooheonie!" both seokjin and namjoon bent down to meet the boy's level, giving his cheeks a light squeeze. "you're a big boy now, huh?" namjoon patted him in the head.
"jooheonie!" taehyung's deep voice rang from behind, earning a soft giggle from the kid when taehyung literally shoved seokjin and namjoon to the side to reach down and carry the child. "happy birthday, baby!" he peppered the kid with kisses, earning soft squeals to escape from jooheon's cute lips.
i could only chuckle along with hoseok, shaking our heads as we laughed at the both scowling seokjin and namjoon.
"what took you so long?" said a raspy voice, our heads immediately snapped to a glaring yoongi, who also has a birthday cap placed in his head. "i called you like half an hour ago," he grumbled, annoyed.
"traffic was being a bitch, sorry." namjoon says, a cheeky grin on his lips as he slang an arm around the short boy's shoulders. "c'mon, why don't we all come inside, yeah?" he suggested, earning nods from all of us.
when we finally got inside, i immediately knew seokjin would love it. it seemed like seulgi made extra preparations, seeing as the whole living room was transformed into what seemed like a pink wonderland. i didn't even need to look and see to know how much seokjin is internally squealing over this, and based on the look everybody gave my brother, they all feel the same.
"where's seulgi?" seokjin asked, amusement in his voice as his gaze roams the room.
"in the kitchen," i heard yoongi muttered, walking up to taehyung to snatch his son, being the overly protective father that he is. taehyung on the other hand, glared at yoongi and refused to let go of the small fluff of sunshine. "give me my son back," i heard yoongi demanded, earning soft laughs from us.
"no," taehyung shook his head in stubbornness.
jooheon was giggling, finding the scene highly entertaining as his gaze switches from either taehyung and his father.
"fine, let's just make the kid decide then." yoongi sneers, earning a grunt from taehyung. "sport, who would you rather? uncle taehyung or appa?" he bents down slightly, showing his gummy smile as he awes the kid.
taehyung did the same, doing his aegyo to win the child's heart. i could only stand by my place and cringe at the two, and based on the other's reaction, aside from seokjin, we all find it cringe worthy too.
"c'mon sport, are you really going to choose uncle taehyung over your father?" he cooes, pointing one finger to his cheeks, pouting like a child.
"of course you will, wouldn't you, baby?" taehyung does a boing-boing aegyo, earning chuckles from us and a giggle from the child.
"c'mon, who would you prefer, sport?" yoongi grins.
jooheon squinted his eyes in what seemed like concentration. he even brought a hand to his chin, as if he's thinking deeply and thoroughly. his eyes flickering between yoongi and taehyung. just then his gaze met mine, his smile immediately widening as he jump away from taehyung's grasp.
"geuki~" he screamed, running his way to me. i could only laugh as both yoongi and taehyung groaned in annoyance, slightly disappointed as they both glared at me.
i crouched to meet the child half way, my arms wide as i hugged him and carried him off the floor. "geuki, geuki, geuki!" he cheered, pinching both of my cheeks. i heard the others laugh, making me chuckle.
"you miss me, jooheon?" i managed to ask in muffled voice, my head tilted slightly back because the kid kept pinching my cheeks. he nodded, smiling at me, his eyes disappearing behind his eyelids, making up such an adorable sight.
"it's my birthday, geuki!" he bragged, cutely pointing a finger to himself. "my birthday!" he repeated.
"i know. happy birthday to you, jooheon-ah." i grinned, making sure to expose my adorable bunny teeth, because i remembered him telling me he admired it. he squealed, leaning to plant a soft peck on my cheeks. "what do you want to get for your birthday, heonie?" i asked.
"zimin!" his response was immediate, "i want zimin, geuki!" he shook my shoulder in utmost excitement. he repeated the same words, and i couldn't help but feel the same. both jooheon and i want the same thing; we both want jimin. "give me zimin!" the child grinned.
i shook my thoughts away. i wouldn't want to ruin the mood with by being emotional. i could only pull the child to my chest, mustering up all my strength to form a smile. "me too, jooheon-ah, me too." i found myself whispering.
the others gave me pitiful smiles as they stared at the both of us, most especially my brother who seemed to be close to tears. "– snap out of it you idiots, c'mon let's not cry right now. we're here to celebrate jooheon's birthday!" i chuckled. and as if on cue, seulgi erupted from the kitchen, a huge smile on her lips as she carries or at least tries to, a tray of food.
"papi, come help me." she grinned, and yoongi didn't even need to be told twice, snatching the tray in her hand and placed it immediately on the table on the side. she greeted all of us, her bright smile slowly lifting the atmosphere as everybody began laughing and chuckling as she shared a little joke.
we all sat at the dining table after that, sharing laughs and grins. seokjin complimented seulgi for her cooking, which is pretty rare by the way, because seokjin never compliments other unless it's himself.
it was a great night, the most fun we've had since we came home from our month-long trip. we were laughing and smiling, and fooling around. we shared news and secrets, even the kinkiest and most unbelievable ones. who knew namjoon was a dancer, well obviously not me.
"oi, oi," yoongi immediately shushed everybody, clinging his wine glass as he stood up, a huge smile gracing his lips. "i am here to make a tremendous announcement," he trails off, glancing down at his wife briefly before he turned his gaze back on to us.
"– let me guess," hoseok chimed in, a small smirk on his face. "you're both getting married?" he chuckled, the same time yoongi groaned, glaring at hoseok before slumping back on his seat.
"you ruined it, asshole." he hissed, earning chuckles from us. i watched as seulgi reached to smack his fiancé on the head, scolding him for swearing in front of their child, to which yoongi only smiled before pulling jooheon to his lap, whispering something we couldn't hear.
everybody congratulated the couple, most especially hoseok who earned a small punch when seulgi left to refill our wines. i could only smile, at least some of us ends up happy– which is all of them by the way, excluding me. the thought itself made my smile falter, a certain void in my chest. i feel empty all of a sudden. yoongi's getting married, both namjoon and seokjin are planning to adopt a child some time in the future— i know because i've heard them talk about it once. and taehyung and hoseok are okay again.
i should be happy.
but why do i feel empty. why do i feel like this? my friends, most especially my brother will have their most desired ending, i should be happy for them. i shouldn't be feeling like this.
"congratulations, hyung." i smiled as wide and as bright as i can, suppressing the tears and sob about to escape from both my eyes and mouth. yoongi grinned at me, muttering a small thank you before going back to pamper his son with kisses.
is it bad that everybody's happy— excited even, congratulating the couple and being utterly great friends, and all i could do was sit on my chair and think about jimin. is it cruel that everybody's glad and pleased about the wedding, and yet all my mind could think of was how great would it be if it were jimin and me?
i didn't even know i was crying when i realised the commotion had died down, and all their eyes were all on me— pity, worry and sadness painted in their eyes.
and i hate it.
"i need some time alone,"
and with that said, i left.