FLASHBACK
ALLEN
As I expected, ang daming tao ngayon sa mall. Everyone seems to be having a lot of fun this season and I can't help but get excited.
Today, Shean and I will go out. It's not a date tho. More like niyaya niya lang ako dahil may gusto siyang bilhin. 'Yun lang ang hindi ko alam.
Napalingon ako nang may kumalabit sa akin. Pagkakita ko kung sino ay nadismaya ako.
"Anong ginagawa mo dito?", tanong ko sa nakangiting France. She seems happy today.
"Wala lang. Ikaw? Anong ginagawa mo dito?"
Unaware, napangiti ako with the thought of Shean. Her and I strolling down the chilly night of December. Why does my face feel warm?
"Magkikita kami ni Shean ngayon."
Nang tumungin ulit ako kay France out of that daydream, she has this weird look on her face na hindi ko ma-explain.
"Ah, ganun ba. Hm... So nasan na s'ya?"
"On the way, I guess."
"Oh... Sige pala. Ingat kayo ha? Merry Christmas, Allen."
"Merry Chr---"
Before I could even finish my sentence, France silenced me with a tight embrace. She suddenly felt gloomy.
"France?"
Binitawan niya ako ng mabilis at tumalikod without another word. She waved her hands but did not bother looking back at me.
"Ano 'yun."
"ALLEN!!!"
Halos tumalon ang puso ko palabas ng ribs ko ng marinig ko ang pagtawag sakin ng isang babae. You probably know who.
"Kanina ka pa dito? Kanina pa kita hinahanap eah. Ang daming tao."
"Ayos lang. Wait, sa'n nga ba tayo pupunta? I only remember you asking me to go all the way here."
"AYUN! HALIKA, BILIS!", sabay hatak niya sa akin sa kung saan man.
"W-Wait lang!"
* * *
"You dragged me all the way here for a..."
Nasa loob na kami ngayon ng Expressions sa tapat ng isang stall filled with colorful stationary notebooks with discounts.
"Yes! 50% off na lahat ng stationary notebooks dito so we need to buy.", she said, exploring her eyes in every notebook in the stand, choosing the one that suits her taste.
"What are you even going to do with it?", tanong ko sa kaniya.
"Hm... Secret!"
"Let me guess... A diary?"
"...", she flinched.
"Knew it."
"HINDI KO GAGAWING DIARY! Kung ano man isusulat ko dito, it's none of your business anymore."
I raised my arms in surrender.
"Okay. Fine, fine."
"Tulungan mo ko pumili. Ang dami eah."
"Hm... How about...", I pointed at a plain white stationary notebook with an arrow heart in the middle. Her eyes sparkled.
"PERFECT!", and then kinuha niya 'yung tinuro ko.
Hindi ko lang pinapakita pero medyo na-flutter ako na nagustuhan niya 'yung in-suggest ko sa kaniya.
"Renz?"
Napatingin ako sa direksyon kung saan nakatingin ngayon si Shean at nakita ko si Renz na papalapit sa amin. I saw a bit blush painted across her cheek before she hid the notebook behind her back. I can't help but feel uneasy.
"Oh, anong ginagawa niyo dito?", tanong ni Renz habang nagsasalit-salit ng tingin between me and Shean.
"W-Wala lang. Gala. Window shopping. Food trip."
"Oooh... Nagde-date kayo?"
"Gashung. Hindi! LUMABAS LANG, DATE NA AGAD?"
"Oh ba't galit ka?!"
"Eah ang chemene mo kasi! Umalis ka na nga dito!"
"Bakit?! Sayo 'to?! Sayo?! Sayo 'tong National Bookstore?"
"Ah tanga! Expressions 'to!"
"Eah 'di---"
"Sir, ma'am, bawal po mag-ingay dito. Kung gusto niyo po mag-away, dun po kayo sa labas."
And there they go again. I wonder how they manage to act like this towards each other. They're so comfortable with their words at merong kakaiba sa kanilang dalawa na hindi ko makita kapag may kasama silang iba.
Hindi kaya...
Gusto nila ang isa't-isa?
"Kakaaway niyo, mamaya, kayo magkatuluyan?"
"ANO?!" (Sabay sila ni Shean at Renz)
"Wala... Anyways, Shean, may gagawin pa ako. Renz, samahan mo na lang siya at baka mapano. Mauna na ako."
"Iiwan mo ako dito?", I looked at Shean and averted my gaze to Renz' honest face.
And I knew for sure...
"You're safe."
She's safe...
And then umalis na ako ng Expressions papunta sa pinakamalapit na bench pagkalabas ko ng mall. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko ba iniwan si Shean gayong kami naman dapat talaga ang magkasama ngayon. Bakit nga ba?
"Oh, nasan na si Shean?"
I looked at the spot next to mine and saw France occupying it. Since when did she got here?
"Kung saan-saan ka sumusulpot."
"Natyempuhan ko lang na makita kita dito. Oh, nasan na date mo?"
"There was no date. May binili lang kami."
"Talaga? Hm... Oh bakit ang lungkot ng mukha mo?"
"Cut it out, France. I'm not in the mood."
"I just want you to be honest, that's all."
Honesty?
"What do you mean?"
"You obviously like her."
"You think?", my heart raced and I looked at France warily.
"Pft. Yes. Kitang-kita sa mukha mo."
"Oh..."
"If you really want to catch a girl, then you've come to the right place."
" 'Di ako naghahanap ng assistance, thank you very much."
"No, hear me out. I just want to help you. Shean's a girl and you should know that I know a lot of ways to get her heart."
"She's not a typical girl tho."
"She's not?"
"Yeah..."
"Well... Why don't you...", napapansin kong parang hindi siya mapakali sa pwesto niya.
"Why don't you what?"
"I don't know... Love me? Love me instead."
...
Ano daw?
"That's not how it works."
"I-I'm... You know what, just forget what I said. I... Bye."
Tumayo na siya at pinanood ko lang siyang maglakad palayo.
I think she just confessed to me... Pero. This isn't the right time. Right? Fudge it...
"France, wait!", hindi siya huminto at tuloy pa rin siya sa paglalakad. I don't know kung nahihiya ba siya sa sinabi niya o nagpapabebe lang siya.
"France.", naabutan ko na siya at pagkakita ko, umiiyak na pala si France. What on Earth did I just do?
"Please, I feel extremely embarrassed right now. I don't want your pity so just leave me be."
"Geez, alam ko ang pakiramdam ng ma-reject, okay? Kaya hindi ko 'yun gagawin sayo."
Although 'di pa naman siya nagco-confess at hindi pa rin naman ako nare-reject ng kahit sino (Tho parang ganun na nga 'yung nangyayari.)
"Look, kahit 'di mo sabihin sakin, alam ko na... 'Di mo na mababawi pa 'yung nasabi mo."
"I really don't know what to feel right now."
"Me either."
"Ugh... I'm sorry."
"Don't be. Tara na nga. Ice cream na lang muna tayo."
"Is that okay with you?"
"I dunno' but we'll figure it out."
"We?"
"Yeah... We."
* * *