They didn't save my mum, but we all had a silent agreement that it was just her time to go. It was hard to just give up on her, but I know she was tired and I would rather her be in heaven than suffering in a hospital bed.
Things have been rough the past week. I had to get the girls back because Maci has school. During the days I don't get much done, but Laci is a distraction from my feelings that I'm holding in. I never imagined the day my mum died, simply because I didn't want to think about it.
I'm not only sad, but I'm angry. Liam is away, leaving me here with the kids by myself. It's hard enough that she's gone, but I have to deal with the kids by myself. I love them to death, but right now, I can't do this by myself.
*Maci's pov*
I know mummy is upset, especially since Mimi died last week. I'm sad too, but I'm trying to be happy for her. Daddy had to go back to the states even though I didn't want him to. I'm kinda mad at him because he's leaving us when we need him the most.
"What's wrong Maci?" Kate asks me, drawing on a piece of paper.
"I'm just a little sad right now." I tell her, flipping the page in my writing packet.
"Why?" She pulls her packet out too.
"My grandma died last week." I say, putting my pencil down.
She didn't respond. Okay then. I continue working on my packet and she doodles. I bet she has a bad grade. That's all she ever does is draw and talk. I never see her do her work. Oh well, I have a good grade.
At least today is Friday. Maybe mum will take us to the park. Some fresh air might do her some good. I look at the clock. One more hour. I finish my work and give it to Ms. Beckam and sit back down. I work on my reading until finally the bell for us to leave goes off.
I grab my jacket and pull it on and put everything away before leaving the class. I wait until I'd see mum pull up. I get into the car and buckle in. Mum still looks sad. It makes me sad, but I need to cheer her up.
"Mum." I say, smiling at her.
"Yes baby," She gives me a small smile and pulls out of the space she was in and drives away. I watch as the school gets further away until it's out of sight.
"So tonight maybe we should watch movies and eat popcorn and maybe even talk to daddy on the phone." I suggest, watching her face in the mirror.
I watch as her eyes fill up with tears and she holds onto the steering wheel tighter. I look away out the window. I miss grandma too, but I'm not being sad like mum is. I don't understand it. I look over to my sister who is sleeping.
I wish things could be as peaceful as her right now.
*Danielle Pov*
I look over at the clock, it's 11 at night, and once again I can't sleep. I've been laying in bed just staring at the ceiling. I can't do this. I can't do this by myself. I can't take care of these kids by myself. My phone begins to ring next to me and it's Liam. I feel myself getting angry.
"Hello." I breath into the phone.
"Hey babe, how are you holding on?" Liam's voice drifts through the phone.
"Just fucking fine." I snap, sitting up.
He breaths for a second before answering, "well you don't sound fine."
"Because I'm not!" I shout, hopping up out of the bed and walking downstairs.
"Woah woah woah, calm down." He says, "just calm down."
My jaw nearly drops, "how could you tell me to calm down! How dare you! My mother just died and you're going to tell me to calm down! I'm taking care of two kids by myself because you're on tour with that stupid band!"
"I'm on this tour because my fans love men and this is what I do! You just have to be strong." He yells almost just as loud back.
"You know what, fuck you Liam. I should have never gotten back with you. You got me pregnant with a baby I didn't even want and left me with another that isn't even mine!" I screamed, tears now streaming down my face.
I heard silence and then the phone clicked off. He hung up on me. I cover my face and cry, just so broken. Until I hear another voice echo through the empty downstairs.
"Mommy?" Maci looks at me, tears running down her face.
She looked just as broken as I do in this very moment.