I just don't know what I was doing anymore...
Maybe I died...Maybe I just got paralyzed and my heart stopped working.Maybe I was dead and it was just all a recap of my life flashing in front of my eyes.
I was hurt and this time I had a reason to hate him,this time I remembered something I had to deal with long time ago.
I remembered that this was not the only one I got hurt...This summer wasn't the first time I got heartbroken....I was heartbroken again and I remembered something I left behind me.
When my dad died I tried to forget everything,but I failed and than when my mom died I left my passed and I tried to live in the present wich was verry hard and in the end I succeeded and I forgot everything and everyone that were in my life.
But now I just figured it out,you can't let go off the pass forever.In the end it'll cime back and hunt you.
When I was in kindergarten I had a best friend and his name was Alex and I don't want to lie I was a little bit fat,but for some reason we were the best friends,untill I really started liking Alex.We were going in middle school.We had a school dance for the end of the year and I was really hoping that he and I will go together. And I wore a beautiful peach dress and I had so much fun,but when my mom left me at the school and I walked in.I looked around to try and find Alex and I asked Nick and he showed him to me. He was dancing with another girl with a girl I hated and a girl I wanted to kill.
And that was the was the time I got my heart broken for the first time.After that I run back home and I locked my self in the room and I didn't let anyone in.
The next day in school as our official day to say goodbye,i sat in my chair and I waited for Alex to come and I can be mad at him,but than Nick and also the teach said that Alex is nolnger going to go to this school because he moved and because his father became a big CEO they moved to another more awesome house.
So this was not the first time he broke my heart and I'm not going to cry for it,because it hurt it doesn't mean I'm going to get hurt again.
Maybe this was a point to prove my mind wrong that I like him and I was wrong.But I'm not going to let history repeat it self.I maybe was broken back than but since I'm not deep in love with him as I was I can make his disappear from now on till forever.
I turned around because I was sick of the stupid picture in front of me and beside me I saw Travis.
-Do you like the music?-Travis yelled in my ear because it was very loud.
So why waist time on a random guy when you can have another shot with someone who really likes you.
So I looked in to Travis eyes and I took a few steps towards him and I kissed him.
Maybe this was a mistake I made long time ago and it came back like a hurricane to teach me that I don't need to hide my past I need to face it and take it down for once.
****
-You kissed him!-Blair yelled as we were walking to school Monday morning.I had two days to just relax and slowly tell them.
-I said no wrong moves...Wait if you kissed him that means you like him and you don't like Rider anymore!?-she asked.
-I..do-i said but I still had some doubts inside me.
-See I told you he is a bad guy! And I don't know if we can trust Regine again!-Veronica said and Abbey agreed.
-Maybe we should have the talk with her?-said Emily and looked at us.-What! We can tell her she is her old self back kissing Liz's crush.
-He is not my crush! I...I dont even like him anymore...that much.-i said and we kept on walking towards the school's door.
-Look,Liz.Maybe the best for you is to just don't go out with neither them.-said Blair.-But i f you want to be sure that he stayes the hell away from you.You will need a back-up and I'm not talking for us four.You need a boyfriend because if you don't he'll just keep hanging with you making you crazy to help him with stupid shenanigans and those kisses mean nothing to him.They are just guys they don't understand!-said Blair.
-Who are guys and why don't we understand?-asked Ethan and when we turned around we saw all the boys behind us.-C'mon what don't we understand?-he asked again.
-You guys were stalking us!-Emily screamed.
-Don't change the subject just tell us.What don't we understand?-Ricky asked.
-You guys don't know what love means!-i said and they all made weird faces.-See you don't!
-Excuse me! But we do!-said Nick and Mike agreed.
-No you don't!-said Emily with a weird bitch look.-You have no clue what love means so let's not make thia a big deal.-said Emily and we all started to walk again.
-Wait!-Said Nick and I saw Travis and Alex coming towards us from two both different sides.-Here ask them both!-said Nick and put an arm around Travis.-The girls said that we have no idea what love means! And we say we do! What do you say? You two Alex.
-Seriously Alex!-Verobica whispered only for the girls to hear.
-Of course he'll say yes! He is a boy!-said Emily and Blair.
-No.-said Travis with his hands in his pockets.
-No!-yelled Nick and all the boys.-No as we do the girls are wrong?
-No..as the girls are right!-he said and walked on our side.-The guys are stupid,we know nothing about love we just hurt girls and they don't deserve that!-he said and we all looked at him and I looked at Alex and I saw him texting on his phone.-There I said it! Even though I'm tough I know that girls are broken by our "dignecy" we have when our friends are around.-he said and he looked at ne and I saw still looking at Alex,but than Blair walked in front of my face and made a weird look and I turned around and I saw Travis looking at me.
-Liz...Do you want to go out with me...again?-he asked me and I got a little bit confused because when I kissed him I run back home as fast as I could with no even a goodbye.
-Yes she would loved to!-said Blair and smiled and I smiled too.
-I want her to say it if she feels comfortable going out with me.-Travis said.
And when I wanted to answer Alex walked in front of me covering Travis in front of me.He was texting and than he looked at me and we were all looking at him.
-What?-he said.-Am I interrupting something?-asked Alex and looked at me and I tried to fight back but I had my mouth closed because I was not ready to speak to him.So I looked at Blair and she pushed Alex away.
-Yeah,Rider! Move!-she screamed and pushed him from in front of me so I can see Travis again.
-Jesus! It's just a stupid question! Answer him!-yelled Mike from behind Abbey.
-I would love to!-i said and I looked at Alex and he was no longer by my side and when I looked up he was already at the top of the stairs.
I just can't wait my whole life for him to say one word!And I can't let me get in love with a stupid guy like him.
****
After all the drama was over I walked up stairs in to my classroom and this time I had chemistry and I was always sitting with a really nerdy girl that always helped me with the lab thingy we did.
-Tia!-i said to her when I saw her sitting behind me.-Why are you not sitting next to mw?-i asked.
-The teacher asked me to sit next to George so I can help him and you can help the new friend!I mean the new student!-she said.
-New student?-i asked.
-Hello,trouble!-said Alez and sat next to me.
-Bye,idiot! I don't want to sit with you! Now get your butt up and move to another seat!-i yelled at Alex.
-Why so angry at the new student,Elizabeth?-Mr.Dale asked and I looked both shocked and confused.
-I...I just don't lime my new lab partner!-i said.
-Why not? You are excellent at chemistry and you are going to help him.-said Mr.Dale and Alex smiled at me just to make me even more angry.
He was in every of my class and I was going to explode and I just wished there was a way I can stop his perfume coming towards me because it was killing me inside and whenever I turned around I pinched my self because I was trying to forget him.
How was I suppose to forget and go on if he was every day besides me.
****
-Okay.Now put the notebooks in your bags and clear the table.I'm going to show you a thing you are going to do,but first you just need to...-said our biology teacher Mrs.Powell and walked towards the tank full with frogs.-You'll have a frog on your table and you'll need to operate on her.We did this last year if you don't remember and I think you don't. But this time would be different last tine we just operated on their barins and now we are going to open up their chest.-she said and I made a weird face.Poor frogs they are going to die today,goodthing I'm wearing black because iy was a funurel time.-And I hope no one is allergic or has a blood phobia!Goodluck!-she said and I looked at Alex.He was not next to me and I looked uo and I heard some noise that was verry familiar.
-Meet your murderer!-said Alex to the frog and he was taljing about me.-C'mon kiss her maybe it'll turn in to a prince charming!-he said and he put the frog in front of my face.
-Your gross!-i said and I sat on my seat.-Put her on the table!-i said and I touched the scalpel.
After a minute of me trying to kill the frog I jing of gave up.I wasnt going to kill an innocent frog!
-Just press harder!-said Alex and grabbed my hand and when he pressed harder we both got our selfs splashed with its blood.
-I said gently! Gently!-Mrs.Powell scremed.
-Alexander!-I screamed and I looked at him madly.
-What's wrong,trouble?You are gonna cry we killed the frog?-he said just to mock me.
-You two!Shut up! Go to the bathroom to clean your selves!-Mrs.Powell yelled at us and we both left the room.
I was mad at him so I didn't say a word.I looked at a pkster on the wall and it sai Winter Wonderland Dance!And I went to the girls bathroom. I cleaned my shirt and I washed my face and I went to the toilett.
And when I got out I saw Alex standing in the corner.
-You scared the shit out of me,idiot!-i scremed at him and I wanted to opend the door but he closed it.-Let me go!-i said and I looked at him.
-What..if I don't want to!-he said.
-Trust me.You will!-i said and pushed him in one of the toilets and he fall on the floor.-See your such a good boy! Now don't you ever cross my path Rider! Because I don't want to play your stupid game anymore!-i said and I left.
I walked back to the classroom and I didn't saw Alex come back for the whole lesson.I guess it hit him he needs to stay away.
****
-Okay girls ready! here she comes-said Emily and Regina sat at lunch table with us.
-Hi,girls!-she said.-Where have you been all day!
-Regina you are a bitch!-Emily said and we all looked at her.-What?
-Excuse me!-she said and looked at ua for explanation.
-She means you are not changed! You are still the same old Regina!-Blair said.
-What do you mean? What did I do?-she asked.
-First you screwed...-Veronica said but I pinched her and she shut up.
-Look.Its nothing girls! They just don't trust you!-i said.
So what if I told her she'll feel guilty and for noreason I don't own him and I don't like him and he is free so he can kiss anyone he likes.
And maybe she wasn't the girl he made out with!
-Yeah!Yes!-all the girls said and we continued eatibg our food.
-Hey I didn't told you girls!-Regina said.-Last Friday at the lounge! I kissed Alexander!-she said and I chocked on my food.
-Are you alright?-she asked tapping my back.
-I'm...I'm fine.-i said and I drunk some water.-Rider?-i asked and Blair looked at me.
-Yeah! The new kid! All the girls said he is tough and he is not that easy to crack, but there is no guy I can't crack.-she said.
-Let me guess!You slept with him like you did with Ethan and you knew he liked Emily!-said Veronica and made an obvious face.
-No!-she said and smiled.-Jesus what is up with you all?-she said and looked at me.
-Nothing!Anyways I need to go to class! See you all later!-i said and I stood up.
I had a few classes left and three included the diot and that means all of them.
It was about time I went home and rest but I forgot I had detention I mean extra work! And this time we needed to scrub the toilets!
-I'm not joking Owen!No go to the janitor's closet and he will give you some brooms and what so ever!-Mr.Roberts said and we all went to the janitor's closet so we can scrub the toilets!
-Okay you guys take the boys toilet and the girl will scrub the girls bathroom.-the janitor said and I grabbed the mop.
I walked in it and thia time I didn't felt like I'm going to gossip with the girls,put make up on or even pee.
This time I was going to clean the whole bathroom and I had three bathrooms to scrub including the one in the girls locker room.
I was cleaning the bathrooms upstairs for hours and I finally finished with them both and I went down stairs and Travis and Owen were going down stairs to clean the other bathroom in the guys locker room,but where was Alex!?
-How are you doing?-asked Travis.-You are alone and you are cleaning the bathrooms alone.Want any help?-he asked and I wanted to say yes but I got interrupted by Alex who was walking behind us.
- No she doesn't need any help!I'm going to help her.-he said and walked in the girls locker room.
-I..guess you don't.-he said and smiled and walked in to the room.
Alex was pushing it to far and whenever I tried to just not talk I wanted to expload and kill him.
After I mobbed the floors I went to the showers to see if Alexander ia ready and I didn't find him.
-Alex!Where are you idiot!?-i yelled and I walked in to the room.I heard a water coming out from the showers and I turned it off and when I turned it off I heard Alex behind me.
-Where were you?-i asked him.
-Here!Where can I be?-he said and I looked at thw shower.
-It's not clean.Did you cleaned at all?-i yelled at him.-Jesus!I can trust you to do one thing right!
-I just don't feel like cleaning!-he said and turned around but I grabbed his hand.
-Oh no you don't!Come here you idiot!-i said and I pulled him back.-Srcub!-i yelled and I gave him a towel.-I'm not doing all the work while you sleep.
-Don't be so bossy,trouble.And don't yell my head hurts!-Alex said.
-Obviously!-i said and I waited for him to clean the shower.
-What's that suppose to mean?-he asked and cleaned the shower.
-Well you drink and smoke old day! You are like and old man with nothing to do.-i said.-You smell from a distance and there is no solution about your behaviour or stink!
-Perfumes! And I don't expect anyone to expect abything from me or care how I act...
-Clearly your girlfriend does!-I just couldn't hold it anymore.It was burning my heart and my mind could not get any more memories in because of it.
-My what?-he said and smirked.-I thought you didn't like me?-he said and smiled at me just to mock me.
-Not me you idiot!You know who I am talking about!-i said and I punched him in the shoulder.
-Who?-he asked and cleaned the shower.
-Who!Seriously you think you will denie and I will accept that?!No!Now do tell!-i said.
-Do you think I will seriously have a girlfriend with my problems?Let me answer it for you,no!-he said and he turned facing me.-And who gave you that idea?-he asked.
-I saw you and she told me since she in my friend!-i said and waited for him to answer me but he just looked at me weirdly.
-Last friday!Regina!?After you went out of the bathroom!-i said and it hit me that I was so close of telling him I like him.
-Ooh!You are not jealous,are you,trouble?-he said and turned his whole body.-Are you?-he asked again.
-N...No no!-i said and I smiled.-Why would I be jealous?You are an alcoholic..Why would...i be jealous of you or Regina?-i said and I was nervous again and it was time to calm my shit down before I expload!
-So thats why your cheeks are red again!I get it...
-You get nothing!-i said interrupting him in my defence.-I'm not jealous just curious!
-Of what?Are you a better kisser than her or how the kiss went!-he said and took a step closer.-Because I can show you!-he said and when he grabbed my waist I pushed him and he fall and turned on the shower.He grabbed my arm and pulled me next to him and kissed me.
I want you to be with me in the dark,to hold me,to keep loving me,to help me when I get scared....to come right ti the edge and see what's there,but I get it you don't love me or like me.I don't like me so I understand why don't either!
We should love,but never fall in love because everything that falls gets broken!
-N...no.Let me go!-i said and I pushed back.-Don't you ever do that!-i yelled and he turned off the shower.
-Do what exactly?-he asked and smirked.-Kiss you?Or kiss you in the shower?
-You are an idiot!And to though I liked you!-i screamed.-You are the most irritating person I have ever met and these kisses are just prove that your mently unstable!-i yelled.
-You liked me?-he asked and looked at me.But I didn't say a word.-I..told you I can't...I'm sorry for not loving you!-he said and wanted to touch my arm.
-You know..We should be just friends!-i said.
-Really?-he asked and looked at me with a sad face just to mock me.
-No!Go fuck yourslef!-i yelled and I walked out of the bathroom and the locker room.
I hope he learned a valuable lesson today which is to stay away.
-Owen have you seen Travis?-i asked.
-No he left running!-he said and locked the locker room.-Are you ready with the bathroom should I lock it?-Owen asked.
-No Al...Yes yes you can!-i said and I watched Owen lock Alex inside the bathroom.I hope he enjoys his night off and this makes sure I have a great date tonight and not bumb in to him! And as far as I knew there was no back door!
****
-Where have you been?-Blair asked after they waitex for me to come back from my detention.
-I scrubbed the toilets!Literally!-i said and sat down.
-Ew!-Emily screamex.-Thanks for making me afraid to go to the bathroom again!I know you didn't cleaned it all.
-I had to! Or im going to be suspended!-i said.-I think I'm going to have to take hundreds of baths to take out the smell.
-Yeah! You smell...Alcohol and...Cigarettes?-Veronica asked and they all looked at me and it hit me.Thats how Alexander smells.
-What!Nooo! No!-i said.
-Hey!Did you saw Alex coming this way?-Regina asked and I started to laugh.
-No I think...he is going to be a little bit stuck!-i said and I laughed as hard as I could and they started at me.
-What did you do?-Blair screamed.
-I..nothing...he is..cleaning...-i said and stopped laughing.
-Okay! Now let's get back to your date!Do you really wanna do this?-Blair asked.
-I'm I the only friend that needs help!?-i said just to remind them they were just talking about me.
-You need help so yeah!-said Abbey.
-I...I'm sure.-i said and I smiled.-Forget Al....lan..Alan!-i said and I looked at Regina.
-Alan?-Emily asked and I kicked her under the table.
-Yes Alan!She liked Alan!-Blair confirmed.
-Why are you guys acting weird?-Regina asked.-Who's Alan? Noo! Is the guy that is with me in P.E?-she asked.
-Aha!Yeah she liked him!But not anymore!-Veronica asked him.
-Cool!Newsflash guys I know your hiding something!But I think that Travis is cute and hot so I ship you two!-Regina said.
-He is not the only one you think he is hot!-said Veronica but quietly.
-Anyways!There is a dance coming guys! And I hope we are going to be the most beautiful ladies out there!-said Regina.-Winter Wonderland Princesses!-said Regiba and Veronica agreed.
-That's not in two months!-Blair said.
-No!One months and three weeks!-said Emily and they were excited except me and Blair.
-It's the same!-i said.-And i m going to say it from now...I'm not going!-i said and they all made weird faces and Regina chocked.
-Why not?You have to come! We are reunited again!-she said.
-Cause school dances are boring and weird! You see nerd dressed up...as clowns!That gives me the creeps!-i said and they laughed.
-You will come!-Blair said.-With Travis.
-Wow!Slow down! It's our second date tonight!-i said.
-Yeah!But you are both so cute and I would help you to keep Al...Alan away!-Blair said.
-Are you joking!Okay what up! Who's Alan! I wanna know and I know he is not Alan I know!-Regina screamed.
-Oh you know him alright!-Veronica said.
-Shut it! You and your comments!-Emily yelled at Veronica.
-Alan is a boy I liked...At my grandma's and he cheated on me!-i said.
-No thats not it!-said Blair.
-It is it!-i said and yelled and Blair.
-Hey girls!Keep it down!-said Ethan and the boys sat next to us.
-What are you yelling about!?-Ricky asked.
-They are not telling me who is Alan?-Regina said.
-Alan?Who's he?-asked Mike.
-I don't know.A guy Liz likes so much!-she said.
-Ooh!Alan!-said Ethan and all the guys.
-I know who Alan is!-said Ricky and Nick sat next to him.-He is not Alan he is Al...
-Shut it!-I said and I tossed a glass of juice in his face.
-You didn't need to that.If you don't want to tell me fine I just wanted to help you and be your friend again!-said Regina and she wanted to stood up but Blair asked her to stay.
****
The most thing I was affraid was that I locked Alex inside the grils locker room,because god know how angry will he be when he gets out.He will kill me on my date and I will never see anyone for the last time.
Blair and Veronica prepeard my outfit and Emily trew stuff she didn't like out of my wardrobe.
-Will you guys chill!-i screamed.-I'm fine and so are my jeans!
-You are wearing this dress...or this blouse with those jeans.-said Emily.
-Give me the blouse!-i said and I was putting it on when Travis ringed on the doorbell and I ran out to open,but Lessie already opened it and they had a cute conversation.
-Hey!You look amazing!-he said.-I had flowers for you,but you. have a pretty cousin so I guess you can share them.-he said and took out one rose.
-Thanks!-i said and we eventually left and got to the lounge.I wanted to be closer to home and if I had some kind of situation i'll call Blair or Veronica or anyone.
-Do you want to eat something?-he asked me and I denied because if I ate I would havd chocked and that leads to dying again.
We eventually had a topic to talk about and half of the night passed as a lovely magical story,but than I saw them all coming in.This night was not going to have a happy ending at all.
-And there are your friends.-he said and I didn't turned around.
-Well this can mean out date is over,because they will interrupt it sooner or later.-i said and I smiled at him.
-I don't care as long as we are together.-he said and made a weird face.-That was actually a bad sentence that ruined the date....Im dumb you should add it to my special skills.-he said.
-No your not!I'm the crazy one because when I say something is said and you are haf as me.-i said and smiled.
Meanwhile I looked at the table they were all sitting and they were all looking at us.
****
-Do you think they are okay?-Veronica asked Blair.
-They must be,they are laughing. But I don't know for long!Regiba called me and asked if she can come but with a plus one.-said Blair.
-Alex?-Veronica asked and looked at Blair.-Thats why you wanted to come here so we can help her.
I didn't know that Alex and Regina will come she didn't tell me and I don't think she will come with Alex maybe someone else.
After and hour of laughing I was about to fall on the table because I was very sleepy.
-I will go to the bathroom,now!-i said and I walked over to the bathroom.And when I opened the door from the ladies bathroom I saw Alex coming out from the guy's bathroom and I just walked in.
-Wait wait.Where are you running off to?-he said and walked in yo the ladies bathroom and one old ladie went out.
-Leave me!Was I not clear before!-i said and slammed the door from the toilet.
-Locking me in a room...Naah!I think you just wanted to keep me save and....
-I didn't lock yoh!-i said and I went out.
-Than who?-he asked.-Because I think there is no magic door.
-How did you get ouy anyway?-i asked and I washed my hands.
-So you admite it!-he said.-Anyways thats not why I'm here.
-Why are you here!?To torcher me!?-I said.
-Listen!-he said and grabbed me.-I'm not playing games! Azgar is looking for you! And you need to go home now!-Alex said.
-No way!I have a date!-i said.
-So what!Your date is over now go home!-he said and we walked towards the door.
-You are not going to tell me what to do!-i yelled at him and pushed him away.
-I'm protecting you!-he yelled at me.
-Than why don't I feel safe!-i yelled and I opened the door and walked back to our table,but Travis was sitting with the others and I joined them.
And after a half an hour our date turned in to a group drunk people hang out,because everyone were drinking and there was some live music event and free drinks that got me killed.
Me and Blair went to the bathroom to check on Emily because he was vomiting but we werent so much sober either.I hate to say I was drunk just a little bit too.
-Go and get me some napkins and gums from my bag.-Said Blair to me and I was once again in the giant mess of people.
But before I got to the ladies bathroom I bumbed in to Alex and Regina who were dancing and when Alex saw me he followed me and than he pushed me in corner.
-Why are you not home?-he said to me and he was so close and he was looking in my eyes and I could felt his anger againts me.
-I told you I don't want to go home!-i said to Alex and there was a very annoying girl who was just hugging Alex.And than Alex pushed her so she can go away but he hit her hand in the wall and fall on the floor.
And when her boyfriend saw that he run towards Alex and jumped on him and they both fall on the floor.They were beating the crap out of each other untill some people separated them.
-Lets get you inside.-i said and I helped Alex get inside of the guy's bathroom.-You are such a drunk mess!You always need. to be drunk.
-I..don't choose to be.I want to!It helps me forget stuff!-he said and we sat in a corner of the room.
-You arе all bloody again!-i said to him.-Why do you always end up in a fight!?-i asked.
-Enough of the fight I don't like beeing reminded of how messed up I'm!-he said and put his head on my chest.-Did I told you it's my birthday today!-he said.
-What?No way!-i said.
-And do you know what I want for my bday?-he said and looked at me.-I want...
-A gun?-i asked and smiled.
-No I already have that!-he said and sat next to me.-I want...I don't know what I want!...C'mon help me! Will you help me get what I want?-he asked at me and his eyes were closing.
-Let me guess! You are drunk and you want nothing but...you know what!-i said.
-What?If you say it wont bite your tounge and if you want to get me naked you should just ask!-he said and looked at me again.
-Ew no!Your gross!-i said.-If it was my birthday I woulde buy my self a cupcake blow it out wish for something incredible to happen to me in my new age and go to sleep.-i said.
And than he came near and kissed me again and this time I wasn't going anywhere and I was half drunk.
-Well...We dont have a cupcake,but we do have...-he said and bite his lips.-I don't...think that...you should...-he wanted to say something and Blair came looking for me to give her the napkins and the gum and when I did I sat next to him,but he was gone as asleep.
It was so quiet,two quiet that actually I didn't like.I wonder what was he going to say or if he had a wish what was he going to wish for and I knew it wasnt his birthday.
Why was he always acting like that?Like a bad boy,why does he do that attitude and why he does it with me,because whenveree we are with others he is like a normal guy and we never talk.
Why does he need to tourcher me all the time?
As I was wondering about him he woke up and looked at me weirdly as I was wondering what was he thinking about.
-How...long was I asleep?-he asked with his sleepy voice and it made me daydream again.
-A year!-i said and smiled.-Only an hour.
-An hour...and you were here the whole time?-he said and smirked.
-I'm sorry I'll leave!-i said and I wanted to stood up,but he grabbed my arm and pulled me down.
-No,i don't want you to go.I want you to stay!Right here..-he said and his head fall on my shoulder.-And be my comfy pillow..I need to tell you something..-he said and closed his eyes as he was resting his head on my shoulder.
-What!?-i asked and I was very curious.
-I lied....Its not my birthday today...-he said.
-I know you are a liar Alex.I know.-i said and he looked at me.
-What?What do you mean with that?-he asked and closed his eyes again.-Do you think I'm a liar or an alcoholic?
-Both and they suit you pretty well.-i said.
-That's mean.You..are mean!-he said and he was falling asleep every minute,because he was drunk.
-I'm not mean!If there someone who is mean iy should be you!Im not.-i said and he opened his eyes again.
-Why...do you think I'm mean?-he asked and looked at me.
-Because....I didn't...
-I don't think your mean,but I think you are an asshole!-i said
-See..I'm telling you mean! Why are you always so mean to me?Why trouble?-he asked.
-Why?Since I saw you this summer you pushed me and I almost fall and you didn't even said sorry!-i said to him.
-I'm not very good with sorry...But thats not why are you mad at me...C'mon tell me
-Thats it I don't know anything else except that you are doing everything to weird me out and make me crazy...
-Crazy for love?-he said and he still had his eyes closed.-Now tell me...You don't remember!? Tell me you do...
-What?I...don't know...-i said and a flashback flashed through my mind of the day he made me forget him.
-I can't remind you...because thats why you arw my frenemie!-he said and I stood up.
-I need to get back...Travis will be waiting for me.-i said.
-Now..its been an hour since you left him..or two.He probably left.-Alex said.
-And you know that because your such a great boyfriend?!-i said and opened the door.-Oh and you should get back,your girl...I mean Regina maybe waiting for you.-i said and smiled.
No one ever will get Alex or his twisted mind and words.He is like a book you can't read,a sentence you can't understand,a word you don't know,a letter so different and spell his name in your heart...But you are so down to eartb sometimes you just want to punch him and make him die,but no he is just that cute and hot you can't get near him without burning your heart.
As much as I want to see him regreat what he said and did he will never do that.
-Where were you?-yelled Travis in my ear because the music was too loud.
-I was helping Blair with Emily...-i said.
-Can I ask you something?-he asked me and looked in to my eyes.-Do you want to be my girlfriend?-he asked me and I got paralyzed should have I said no or yes.
Will he break my heart or will I break his?Will this be a mutual feeling or just a game to me?I wonder if I can get any better than Travis.In these couple of days he has proven him self as a very nice guy and I guess I have to be an idiot to let him down.
I don't know if my life will get better or worse I don't know if our lives will end up with the same path,but all I know now is that we have to make a commitment...
Don't tell me I'm afraid of commitment.Don't tell me I'm afraid of letting my self fall.
I'm afraid of the heartbreak that will come out of loving you.Because it's all I ever known.
Life was so much better and it was the best with out Alex in my way.He made a hurricane out of me that made me kill my self and with that kill everyone around me.
He is something no one can understand,he is something no one ever knew existed,he is something that always gets in my path,but he is the one thing that makes me nervous when I see him even if he is miles away.
And as the days passed I got closer to Travis and I forgot about how nervous he made me,how much pain I had inside my chest just by looking at his face.His face that said nothing and had no emotion and was a closed book I never got to read.
He was no where to be found and when we came to class he was either druling over his phone or he would take another seat and when we had to talk he would just said yes or no.I never got to say or ask why is he that mad or why isn't he playing mind games with me.
He was once again the one thing in my mind even if he didn't do anything.He was always by my side and I never dared to say. anything to him...He was far away but still so close.I could have said a thing or two but when I was ready my mouth just couldn't.
And that's how I survived a month,he wasn't around or talking to me.He didn't came to school for a week and than I saw Olivia coming out of the principal's office, but I didn't wanted to ask.I was trying to forget him and everything we had...
****
-Travis!-yelled Tommy behind our backs.-Where are the love birds going?
-To get to calss!-said Travis.-Now what do you want?
-What do I want! I don't want anything...okay!Nick is trowing a party,this friday.And i...need a date!-said Tommy.
-A date?-i asked.
-Yeah!It's going to be couples only!-said Tommy.
-And you want me to....-said Travis.
-Find me a date ofcourse!-said Tommy.-You are okay,liz?
-Yeah sure.He can find you a girl.-i said and looked at Travis.-If he can!-and I walked away.
-What!I can find him a girl!Why did you said that?-he asked and followed me.
-Well because your sweet and...look I can help you.-i said and we both stopped walking.
-Noo I don't need your help...And I'm not sweet!Nobody knows me as a sweet guy here.
-No they dont,but you are.-i said.
-Hey beeing nice to a girl doesn't mean im sweet and weak!-he said.
-I think you are sweet!So what are you gonna do about it!-i said.
-I'm gonna do this...-he said and with his hands he reachced my face and when he tried to kiss me a familiar voice interrupted us.
-Hey...I'm sorry,but the coach is looking for you.-said Alex and Travis left.
Alex was walking in front of me and I just wanted to break the ice.
-What's our first class today?-i asked and smiled at him,but he just looked at me with a mad,cold look and killed me with not saying a word.-What!Cat got your tounge?-i asked.
-More like Azgar...-he said and I was going to hit a big giant wall I didnt see.
-What?-i asked and I followed him.-Alexander answer me!-i yelled after him and I heard the bell.
-I don't have to answer to you anything.-he said and kept on walking.
-I'm involved!I think I need to know!-i said and we went up stairs.
-You were pretty clear when you said you don't want I.. -he said.
-I..I never said that!-i yelled and he pushed me towards the wall.
-You were clear you don't want it anymore!So now leave me live my fucking life!-he said and when he looked in to my eyes I saw the beast inside of him and that killed me.Because at least he had a friend who could have helped him and now he has nothing.
I was in class,but I wasn't mentaly I kept on looking at Alex and answering questions in my mind.
What was he doing this whole month?
-Okay,now I have one announcement to make.From today and on we are going to have a new classmate!-said Mrs.Powell.-Say hello to our new student Bryan.-she said and the kid walked in the classroom.
He was tall, he had brown hair and pircing blue eyes and when he smiled all the girls started to melt and the guys started to mock them.
-Take a seat Bryan!-said Mrs.Powell and showed the seat infront of me and Alex. I was watching him as he was sitting down and when he sat he turned around.
-Hi!-he said and smiled.-I'm Bryan.-he said and he and Alex shook hands.
-I'm Alexander..and this is Elizabeth.-he said and smiled mockingly at me.
-Nice to meet you!..Can you show me around the school later?-he asked and looked at me.
-Don't ask her for that..she will trow you down the stairs or lock you in a basement.-Alex said and i kicked his leg under the desk.
-Don't listen to him,he is an idiot!-i said.-I can't but i'll find a girl who can!-i said and smiled at Alex.
-Can Alex be the girl?-Bryan asked.
-She didn't finished my tour,but i can try if i don't get lost.-he said and looked at me.
-Okay..Are you guys a couple or something because you are going to eat eachother?-he asked and made fun of us like everyone else did.
-NOo!-we both screamed and Mrs.Powell looked at us,but she allowed us because we were talking to the new kid.
-All right! No..Than what are you? brother and sister?-he asked.
-No!-i said.-More like a cat and a dog!-
-I don't get it!-Bryan said.
-Don't worry! You can never get what she says,never. Right,trouble?-he said and looked at me.He was finally talking to me and even if he was offending me i kind of liked it and i smiled at him.
-What the hell are you talking about now!-i yelled at Alex.
-It's true and its clear! You never say anything,but you expect someone to know those things.-he said.
-Well you are like that! Great now you can at least describe your self!-i said and looked at Bryan.
-Are you..brother and sister or no?-he said and made a confused face.
-No.-Alex said.-We are nothing.
-Clearly!-i said.-You don'r care about anything!
-Oh like you do!-Alex said and Bryan kept on looking at us with a confused face.
-At least i care about some stuff!-i said and i think Mrs.Powell had enough so she sent us both to the principal's office and luckily he wasn't there and we got back to class.
-I'm sorry! It was my fault you..-Bryan said but Alex interrupted him.
-No worries! We end up there all the time..Right,trouble?-he said and smiled at me.
-yeah we do..-i said and we were walking down stairs.-Whats your next class?-i asked Bryan.
-Let me check...it's P.E.-he said.
-We have P.E too.We'll walk you there!-i said.
-Liz!-Travis said and i turned around.-Hey!-he said and he met Bryan.
-Bryan my boyfriend.Travis,Bryan!-i said and they shook hands.
-I need to talk to you!-said Travis and i let them both get to the gym.
-She had a boyfriend?-Bryan asked Alex and Alex just nodded.
-I want you to..help me get a girlfriend for Tommy!-he said and smiled at me.
-See! I told you your sweet!-i said,
-I asked evey girl in my class and they had dates or they didn't liked Tommy.-Travis said and looked disapointed.
-I'll help you,but i need to get to class now,so bye!-i said and kissed him.
Tommy was a very nice guy,but he was too loud and girls kind of hated him sometimes.And i think i had a perfect girl for him,but first P.E.
Mr.Roberts came and we all lined up.He started to talk about stuff like national championchip for the football team or someother stuff,but all the girls were occupated looking at Bryan. He was hot,but they were making him a god.
-Hey,Liz! Did you saw the new guy?-Regina asked me.
-Yeah he is in my class,why?-i asked.
-Nothing..he is just super hot.How can he be that hot?-Regina said and than one of her chearleader friends innterupted her.
-Alexander Rider and Bryan are the most hottest guys in the school for this year!-said Gina.
-Hey!-Regina screamed.-Hands off Alex,he is mine!-said Regina and my look turned to her and i just wanted to scream WHAT! in her face,but instead of that i just simply smiled.
We run and run and than Travis came and asked me if i could play instead of Tommy because he was with his new girl.First,how come Tommy has a girl? And second last time i played i caused a fight so i wanted to back off,but they were minus one player and i just couldn't resist the chance and i said yes.
I was in Owen's team this time because Tommy played for them because they were minus one player.
It was all fun and games untill Bryan hit me with the ball in the head and I fall on the grass and i passed out.
Everything was so dizzy and I didn't so clear.I saw thousands of boys standing above me,but there was one thing I didn't relized I said Alex out loud and when I looked at Travis I passed out.
Why did I said that?Why did I even said yes to play! And why did I got knocked out with just one stupid ball?
-Are you feeling better?-Bryan said as he walked in to the nurse's office.
-I'm...fine.-i said and I tried to stand up and he helped me.
-I'm sorry!I didn't mean it,i just wanted to score a goal...
-And you did!My head!-i said and I smiled at him.
-Yeah,I'm so sorry!If there is anything I can do to make it up to you!?-he asked and looked at me with a cute smile.
-Thanks,but I'm good now!-i said and I saw someone outside the door.-Who is that?-i asked and he turned around and he opened the door.It was Alex!
-Hey!Did you came to see Liz?-Bryan asked him but he dididn't answered.-She is fine.-he said.
-No...Yes..I came to see her..Can you give us a moment?-he asked and Bryan left.
-What do you want?-i asked and I sat on the bed.
-Are you okay?-he asked and sat next to me.
-You don't care,remember?-i said to him and when I looked at him he smiled and looked at the floor.-Don't tell me you care and have a heart?-i said just to mock him as he always did with me.
-Shut it trouble!I care..when I want to and need to!...I care for you...That's what frenemies do for eachother,righ!?-he said and winked at me.
-I...though you didn't want me as your frenemie..-i said and I looked at him.
-C'mon!I will always need someone I can tease and make fun of and you out of me!-he said and looked at me with a serious face.-But...Last week...I...realized that I got you in a lot of trouble.I can't...care for you anymore.
-What?-i said and smiled and for a minute I thought he was joking.-No!I wanted that and I still do!I..can help you!I don't care how dangerous it is.-i said and I stood up.-I'm your frenemie...I help you you help me,right?-i said and I sat next to him.
-It's complicated..You can't live like that and I don't want you to get hurt.-he said and he was still looking at the floor.
-Say that in my face..-i said and I looked at him.-If you really mean it..look at me and tell me that!
-Don't make it harder...It's done..We're done.-he said and stood up,but as he was walking towards the door I grabbed his hand and I kissed him.
It was the obe of the worst thibg that I have ever done!Was I deaf,didn't I heard about my life in danger!?
But was I that stupid to let him go alone and let him die alone.He was my friend and I was not going to let him face Azgar or anyone else alone.
-Are we clear now that I can't let you leave me in the middle of nowhere?-i asked him and I looked at the floor.
-I...Can't let you..get hurt!Because if you do what will I do?-he said.-I'm not a hero,Elizabeth!Im not going to save you...-he said and left me with my mind blown up.
A day completely wasted...I was not alive anymore,i could have helped him.I was such a jerk,i still am.
I just couldn't get it out of my mind and when he sat in class next to me I wasn't able to talk,but yet I wanted to say billion words.
****
-Are you okay,Liz?-Blair asked as we sat on our table.
-Yeah,you seem a little bit odd!-Veronica said and sat down.
-Do you guys...If you had a secret and nobody knew except one person will you push that person away if the secret could have hurt them?-i asked and everyone looked at me weirdly.
-Elizabeth,What the hell are you talking about?-Abbey said.
-I...Just want to know what you would do...-i asked again.
-I don't think so,if the person is important and he/she can keep the secret I won't push them away.-said Emily.
-But what if it coukd kill them?-i asked and again they all looked at me weirdly and confused.
-Liz,What are you talking about?Does it involve you?-asked Blair.
-It kind of does,but thats not what u wanted to ask....
-Oh my god!Your going to get killed?-Veronica and Emily screamed.
-No!-i yelled.
-Hey!-Regina said and sat next to me.-Whats the fuss about?
-Liz is going to get killed!-said Abbey.
-No,no they are making movies in their stupid brains!-i said.
-Oh,you don't want to get killed before the dance!Winter Wonderland!-Regina said and they all started to talk about it and forgot about me.
Dance!That was the last thing I needed now or ever.I know Travis will ask me out and than I'll see Regina and Alex dancing and it will kill me inside like it did long time ago.
I might as well not go!
-It's official now...I'm not going!-i said and stood up.
-Yeah you are!-said Regina.-With Travis!He loves to go to dances.
-Well he can either go by him self or take another girl!-i said and I was walking backwards untill I hit someone behind me.
-I'm so sorry!-i said and tha I saw it was Bryan and next to him I saw Alex.-Oh,Bryan!
-Now we are even!-he said and I helped him clean the food of the floor.
-I'm sorry,again!I didn't mean it!-i said and we walked to the trash can.
-Stop,apologizing!I hit you in the head with a ball, knocking my plate off is the least you can do!-he said and I saw Alex druling over his phone again.
-Since you didn't gave Alex the extra tour,can you show it to us both?-he asked and ne and Alex both looked at eachother.
-I think...Alex knows the school!You two will be fine!-i said and smiled.
-But he doesnt,ge told me earlier.Right,Alex?-Bryan asked Alex.
-Yeah..And I have a thing I have to go to...so you can finish the tour without me.-he said and smirked at me.
-Look guys,you are the two people I know here exceot the teachers.But if you dont want to help me I get it.Thanks anyways!-he said and left.And me and Alex looked at eachother.
-Idiot!Your thing can wait!Focuse on him now,he is new!-i said to Alex and we followed Bryan.
-You didn't focused on me that much..Do you like Bryan?-Alex teied to tease me again.
-Very funny Alexander!-i said and we hurried to catch Bryan.
-Wait..-said Alex and grabbed my hand.-First I need to tell you something,about Bryan.I think he is hiding something...
-Oh, please no!Why!What?-i asked.
-I don't know,but he is beeing secretive and when I asked him about his family he said he had a brother and than he said he had a sister!-Alex said and I looked at him weirdly.
-Seriously!You are still secretive even if I have know you my whole life!-i said.-Now come,we need to find him now!
After the classes were over,we waited for Bryan ti finish his class and than we head down to the field,but whike we were waiting for him.Alex said that I should ask him something and we should see how he reactes.
-So...Bryan do you have any family?-i asked as we werе walking to the back door.
-I...I do!-he said and we walked in.-This is the boy's locker room?
-No,thats the girl's locker room!That one over there!-I said and I showed him the door.In mean time Travis called me and told me that they were all at the lounge and were waiting for me,but I said I was going to be late,because I had some homework I had ti finish in the school library.
-Let's go upstairs!-i said and we walked up stairs.-This is the nurse's office and this is the lab.-i said,but his phone rang and I stopped talking.-Answer it!It may be important!-i said and than he smiled and went to the bathroom.
-What are you doing?-i asked Alex as he slowly opened the door of the bathroom and overheard his phone call.-Leave the kid alone,you idiot!-i yelled at Alex quietly si Bryab wouldn't hear me.
-Just listen..-Alex said and I got closer to the door.
-No,no!I said next friday not today!...I can't come right now!I don't have the money you want!.... No,the deal was next friday!..Listen!...You..don't have to yell!-he said and hang up the phone.
Alex was right he was hiding something and it wasn't a small thing.
- I'm sorry.Where were we?-he asked.
-Nurse's office!?-i said and show it to him again with a giant smile on my face.
****
When we finished the tour of the school,me and Alex head tonthe lounge to meer the others and discuss Nicks party that was tomorrow.
-Told you I was right!-Alex said and mocked me.
-Yeah,Yeah!-i said and I opened the door of the lounge.
When we walked it Blair asked me where were we for such a long time and my secrete got away.
-We were showing Bryan around the school.-said Alex and I kicked his leg so no one can see it,but he can get it that " I was at the library studying".
-Bryan wanted Liz to come because we...were the only friends he has now.-said Alex and sat down and I sat next Travis.
-Well than why didn't you called me you'll be late?-asked Travis and I just smiled at him.
-Why didn't you bring him here since he has no friends?-asked Blair.
-Yeah,and plus he is extra hot!-said Regina and Emily agreed.
-Hey!I'm sitting right here,Em!Right here!-said Ethan and he confirmed that he was jealous.
-Alright,alright!-said Nick.-Look,I want tomorrow to be special,because...I have an announcement to make! I made it couplea only because....I have a girlfriend..-he said and Ricky choked on his drink and we all looked at his weirdly.
-Since when do you have girlfriend?-Ricky asked.-Friend!If you are my friend...-Ricky was mad because he didn't knew.
-Well,we've been going out for a month and I think you should all meet her.-Nick said.-And no she is not from our school.
-Is she from Linkon's high,because I hate all the girls there!?-Emily asked.
-No...You see her,tomorrow!-said Nick and we all continued talking about the party and when me and Travis shared a kiss,Alex stood up and went outside.
I was acting like I didnt mind it him leaving the table,but I did he left because I'm a weird,psycho path who doesn't know a thin she should do.
-One more question!-Regina wanted to ask.-Are we all going to the WWDance?-she asked and almost everyone agreed,well I didn't and Alex didn't wanted to.
-C'mon Liz!It'll be fun!-said Regina and than she looked at Travis.-Don't let him go alone!
-Oh,I'm not going alone!-he said and everyone looked at him weirdly.-I'm going to stay with her home!-he said and I smiled,because I rather go to the dance than have awkward conversation and I know he wants to ask a lot about Alex and do I like him or not and I will freak out,because Alex was unknow theme in my own head.
I was fascinated with words. To me, words were things of beauty, each like a magical powder or potion that could be combined with other words to create powerful spells and he knew they way in my heart.And he is unforgettable; unimaginably, unbelievably, inconceivably unforgettable.
****
-I'll call Bryan,if he can come tonight!-Alex said and they all walked the other way and after Travis left Blair looked at me weirdly.
-I though you forgot about Alex this month...And now your again,spending more time with him than with Travis.-she said and Veronica agreed.
- He certainly seems like the perfect guy but none of that matters if he's not the perfect guy for you.-said Veronica.
-What are you two saying!? Do i tell Travis i like Alex and be done with my life forever and what if i don't like Alex...-i said.
-Maybe coming clean is the ultimate selfish act. A way to absolve yourself by hurting someone who doesn't deserve to be hurt.-Blair said.
-So thats a no?-i asked because i didnt understand a thing she said.
-I don't say you don't tell him,but you will eventually and if you don't he will get it!-said Blair.
-Okay,bye! See ya later!-i yelled at Blair as me and Veronica got home.
They were right if i didn't told him,he would eventlually get it! I had to tell him or he would get hurt if i don't,but i wasn't ready to tell him or even face Alex.Life isn't fair sometimes and it gets twisted so much you can't keep the track of it or even know if your in or out.
****
-Hey!-Bryan said when i saw him at the party.-Where's your date? Or your alone like me!-he said and smiled.
-He...needed to help a friend. And your not alone i'm here..and where's Alex?-i asked.
-He was here,moments ago,but his girlfriend came and took him.-Bryan said.-Is she his girlfriend?
-No one knows!-i said and i smiled at him.
-What are you two talking about?-Alex asked and stood up behind us.
-You!-Bryan said.-Is Regina your girlfriend?-he asked.-Or just a girl you make out with.
-It's not because i want to make out with her..-Alex said.
-Told you,Bryan!-i said.-Alex is an idiot!
-Hold on.-Bryan said and took out his phone and started to push some buttons as he just discovered a mathematical breaktrough and than he looked back at us.-I just did some calculations and i've been able to determinate that your full of shit.
-No shit!-Alex said and looked at Bryan with a mad look.-And what are you hiding Cross?
-What?-Bryan asked and smiled.
-Cmon we overheard your phone call in the bathroom!-Alex said and they both got closer to eachother.
-Whats your problem,dude?-Bryan asked Alex and they were ready to kick their asses.
-No,problem dude,but you lied to us and you said we were your friends.-I said and i got closer to them both.-You can tell us everything and trust us!
-I think..i don't need friends who will sneak in to my private life.-Bryan said and he wanted to walk away but Alex stopped him.
-Think about that again! We are not who you think we are and i bet you want help..-Alex said and Bryan looked at me and i nodded.
He was something,we didn't know.He was something we never thought of and he was the closest thing we ever had to us.
He was a rebel with a deep past that scared his heart and his body,literally.
He was like Alex,he was in some deep shit too and they were both looking for trouble...And I was just a normal girl looking for adventure and I was already involved in one.
His father is an alcoholic and he divorced his mother,two years ago.He had a brother that was in a lot of trouble and his father,when he wasn't an alcoholic tried to stop him from doing things like killin people.But one day his father...accidently killed him and since than he lost his job,his dignity,their house,his wife...his family.
He is now an alcoholic who doesn't do anything and expects Bryan to bring him food and he is still owns money to some people and he can't give them back.And now those people are trying to get the money from Bryan and if he doesn't give it to them, they will either kill him or his mother and step-sister.
-And thats why I need to find coffin full of money by the end of the week!-he said and looked at us.
-We can help you I told you!-i said to Bryan and Alex agreed.
-Thanks,but I don't see how..-he said.
-We'll think of something!I can give you to money and we can make a diversion so you dont actually give it to them!-said Alex and tapped his shoulder.
-What are you guys?I though you are going to ran away from me and you would have never talked to me!-Bryan said.
-I told you we are different!-i said and I smiled.
-Than why are you teasing and arguing all the time!?-he asked us and we looked at eachother.
Why did we? No one ever knew and I think it was because I was jealous of the many years before that got me mad.
-Why...I guess its our thing...-i said.
-Yeah...Our thing...-Alex said and smiled at me weirdly,because he always smirked just to mock me.
That was the first ever conversation we had with out argues for less than four minutes.
I guess he is different around other people and I think that Bryan will stick around for a while and we wont have so many arguments.
And on the plus side now we have another friend...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Authors note:I know I said that I won't be able to post anymore,but I posted two new chapters and this the longest one I ever worked on,but I wanted to get as much as I could in one chapter so you don't have to wait so long.And lucky for us I didnt have so much school work these days I finished this chapter for you guys! I hope you like it and enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Ps:Tell me what you think about their new friend,Bryan?!
And what do you think will Liz do,about Travis?!
~xo,Adriana.