[4:15 p.m. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania]
[4:15 p.m. Upstate New York, New York]
*shawns pov*
We've been here for 4 days so far and gosh, can you say I cannot get my mind off of Delaney, she's always on my mind. I just wanna have the heart to text her or call her but it seems she wants nothing to do with me, I mean she has a boyfriend now. I shouldn't be like this at all. Every time I see a picture of her with her boyfriend my heart aches. I just want her to be mine, I mean is that too much to ask?!
Sadly, it's too much to ask to have her as mine, But whatever. I need to get over her.
"Hey guys, I'm going to go to the lake or something I'll be back" I tell them and they nod their head. The lake had about 15 people there, it was 60 degrees outside which felt amazing in the winter.
I sat down in a lawn chair that was out there, there was a couple other people at picnic benches or on lawn chairs just chilling out.
"Beautiful right?" I hear a girls voice right next to me. I take my sunglasses off and look at the girl above me, which was kind of creepy how she was but I shook it off.
"Yeah it is" I say.
"I'm Riley" she sits down at the lawn chair next to me.
"Shawn" I tell her.
"Nice to meet you" I say afterwards.
She was pretty, she had dirty blonde hair and blue eyes her skin slightly pale because of the winter. But she was nothing compared to Delaney.
"So shawn...what brings you here?" She tells me.
"A mini vacation, I live in Canada though" I casually say.
"Woah! Me to, what part?"
"I live in Toronto" I say I usually just say Toronto even though Pickering is 30-40 minutes away.
"SAME!!!" She excitedly says and I laugh.
"That's cool" I tell her.
We began talking more and I realized, maybe she could be my distraction from Delaney.
*delaney*
It's been four days and jack has asked me out, I think it's to soon but whatever, I'm sticking to my plan no matter what. People may think that im just doing this and i actually don't like him well thing is I do like him and I don't care what shawn has to say.
Just as I finished doing my hair for the day my phone went off and I picked it up to check the notification.
Shawn:
Hi Delaney
My heart beat quickened as I read those two words, they were just 'hi Delaney' why was I freaking out about this?
Me:
Hi Shawn
As much as i told myself not to answer him, my heart did it anyway.
Shawn:
How've you been?
Me:
I've been good wbu?
Shawn:
Yeah me to, I'm actually in upstate New York right now
Me:
Seriously?! Wow, I mean that's like 2 1/2 hours by train
Shawn:
Oh wow...I miss you
I bit my lip and re read that text, he misses me?
Me:
I miss you to...
I didn't know if he was going to respond or not but I was hoping he would.
Shawn:
I would go to philly to come and see you but I'm supposed to be heading back home tomorrow and I don't know if I'd have enough time :(
Me:
ft me
I needed to FaceTime him, if I couldn't I was going to go out of my mind.
I needed to see his precious face again and hear his voice.
"Hi" I hear his voice say and I couldn't help the rate at which my heart was going at right now.
"Shawn you could come in a day, you know?" I don't know what has gotten into me, for heavens sake I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't even be talking to him but I couldn't help the feelings I'm having.
"I'm so sorry Delaney, I can't but hopefully I'll come to Philadelphia soon" he said with a sad face.
"Please" my voice was a whisper I was hoping he wouldn't hear it but at the same time I did.
He looked at my face with a slight smile.
"I promise, my best friend that I'll come to you soon"
Those words stung, I wasn't ever going to be someone more than just a friend.
"Okay, anyways what have you been up to lately" I ask him and he started telling me all these things for writing and how he found a studio in upstate New York and he's recording some of his songs there.
We talked more and more, I lost track of time I knew I should still be getting ready I had to be places.
"Do you have a boyfriend, I saw your posts on twitter" he said.
"Uh...yeah I do" I smile.
"Well I'm happy for you" he smiled back.
"I do to" i bit my lip and forced a smile, it looked to forced and fake. I was trying not to let this get to me but it did once again stung every bit of my body.
"I'm happy for you...can I see a picture of her?" He nodded his head and pulled up a picture of him and he smiling Lake, shawn had his sunglasses on and she was really pretty it made me feel insecure.
"You to are so cute!" I chuckle but it hurt.
"Thank you, well my friend Brian right now is nagging me to get off so I'm going to go but have a good day and I'll FaceTime you soon" I smiled and waved bye.
I guess this is how it was going to be we were going to be friends...I just had to accept the fact that we both were dating someone.
I got up from my bed and went to my close to find clothes to wear, it was 30 degrees out today so it was really cold, I'm really getting annoyed by this weather it's so bipolar. It was 60 degrees like 4 days ago I don't understand the weather sometimes.
I decided to wear a white long sleeve flows shirt with a white sweater jacket thing and a olive green vest with black leggings and black combat boots. My hair was wavy and I left it as that.
"Hey del, do you wanna have some brother bonding time?" Christian asked me and of course I had to say yes, I had nothing better to do to be honest.
"Sure!" I say as we leave the house and got into my car.
"So where to?" I ask him, even though I was the one driving
"I was thinking we could go out of town for today like maybe upstate New York?" I gulp as he said that. I didn't know exactly what to think.
"Uh...I guess so" I fake a smile and he nodded his head and he put in the address of I don't even know exactly but it was somewhere upstate.
I had a weird feeling about driving here, I may cross paths with shawn. I want to badly but I know I shouldn't. Everything is so confusing i wish I could just make who my mind, but that may lead to wrong decisions.
"You okay? You look a little pale" my brother asked curiously and I fake once again another smile and nod my head.
It wasn't a far drive honestly, it was only a hour and a half, it was shorter than I expected it to be.
I didn't know exactly why we were up here, i mean it's 30 degrees out what is there do to except look at the landscapes.
"Ooh look there's a little coffee shop we can go to!" He pointed out and I nodded my head as I parked into a parking lot.
I bit my lip as we walked in because what if shawn was in here? I mean he is leaving tomorrow so he could be anywhere at this very moment in time.
"Hey del, what would you like?" He asked I wasn't paying attention though because out of the corner of my eye I could see a group of guys walk in and one of the guys so happened to be shawn, my heart nearly melted as I saw him.
"Uh...I have to go to the bathroom but order me a hot chocolate" I say so fast I don't even think he heard me. I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in there, it was a only one person bathroom so no one could come in.
My heart felt as if I t was hammering through my chest, I didn't know what to do! He's out there right now and as much as I want to see him I know I couldn't, I couldn't face him when I have a boyfriend and I'm trying to get shawn out of my life. But somehow he just couldn't and it was killing me, I needed him out of my life.
"Del! I got your hot chocolate will you be done soon?" I hear christians voice from outside the bathroom door and I bit my lip and say quietly.
"Yeah sorry I'm having lady problems..." I stammer off and I didn't hear from him after that. I hoped and prayed to God that shawn left because after another 10 minutes I slowly managed to leave the bathroom basically tip toeing out.
Shawn and his friends were in the corner far away from where my brother was, but with a 10 second glance he could find out it was me in an instant. So I just had to take cover and make sure he wouldn't know it was me.
"Did you poop, or what?!" Christian seemed so dumbfounded.
"No, you know it's that time of the month...didn't have a tampon" I shrug and he tightly closed his eyes and opened them.
"Tmi!" I rolled my eyes.
I drank my hot chocolate so fast, I wanted out of here which was nearly impossible without shawn noticing me so I just had to stay here until he left.
We were here for another 30 minutes and shawn and his group of friends were still here and I needed him to leave now because my brother was just now saying we should go and do something else.
"Uh! No!!! I think I'm going to order a doughnut" I say and he rolled his eyes, I wish I didn't have to order this stupid doughnut. It was once again another thing I didn't need.
"Hi can I have a long john please? Thanks." I say politely.
I waited up there for 5 minutes, I was waiting impatiently because of course I didn't want shawn to see me and recognize me.
But gosh, wouldn't it be nice to be wrapped up in his arms, in his embrace, feeling his hand rub your back so gently as if you were a glass vase.
I came back to reality and shook my head, that wasn't going to happen.
"Let me just eat this and we can go" I reassure Christian and me nods his head.
After I was done eating I peak my head over to see if shawn was still there, and surely enough he was laughing along with his friends. I bit down on my lip and turn back around facing Christian.
"Ready?" He asked me standing up and I nodded my head slowly still unsure on what to do or not. Somehow he'll spot me and everything will be ruined and I sure don't want to see how everything will go down.
We walked as if it was in slow motion, my heart was beating out of my chest everything was happening so slow it was as if we were in a movie when the hot guy or hot girl walks by and everyone stares and everything stops.
I wanted to find a reason so bad to back out and go back to my seat but it was too late, we were already at the door and I could feel Shawn's everts digging into the back of my head, seeing right through me. I couldn't run I had to act normal so he wouldn't suspect anything. I got to my car and boy was I glad to be here!
I let out a breath that I didn't realize I've been holding onto this past hour.
"What was all that?" Christian confusedly asked. I couldn't tell him that, that was shawn
"What do you mean?" I say as if nothing happened.
"I don't know...you seem a little...off, are you sure everything's okay?" He raised on eyebrow at means I rolled my eyes but I had to love how caring he is.
"Yes, I'm fine...just my hormones, being on your period isn't fun" i stick out my bottom lip.
"Again, tmi" once again, my eyes rolled.
***
It's been four hours since we've been here and I thanked the Lord over and over again that shawn didn't say anything to me, even though he probably noticed it was me I was still glad he didn't say anything.
We've been driving around mostly and going to where there was pretty mountains and I snapped some pictures of it and got pictures in front of the mountains also, but we mainly just did that.
"Hey, I think we should maybe stay in a cabin or something because it's getting late, i found this cool one by a lake, it'll only be for a day though" he says and I nod my head, I didn't care at the point if I don't have clothes or not because I was really tired.
He drove to the nearest cabin by the lake, well it was a little away from the lake but you could still see it, so I guess that was nice.
We made our way into the cabin, it was fairly small, probably the smallest ones I've seen. There was a mini kitchen in the left corner and a long couch with a small 40 inch tv. There was a large fireplace by the tv that was lit and all cozy. There was a sliding door that was a tiny bedroom which was only a queen size bed and a dresser on one side of the room and there was a bathroom attached to the bedroom that was just a small average home bathroom, exact everything was decked out in bear stuff.
"Yeah, it was the cheapest one , like 85 dollars per night so I thought it was fine since we were only staying one night" he shrugged. I was perfectly fine with this, I mean it may be about the size of a one bedroom apartment but it was cozy and nice.
"I'm going to go walk around the lake, I'll be back" I tell Christian and he nodded his head, I honestly was surprised he was letting me do this at what, 10:35 at night, alone but I shook it off.
It gotten colder than earlier, it was now about 20 degrees so I was freezing for a girl that didn't have a heavy jacket on me right now.
I walked to the lake and sighed seeing my breath come out in the frosty air, I look up at the sky to see mini flurries of snow coming down. It was almost like a winter dream.
I look across the lake to see a cabin about 2 times bigger than ours laying 100 feet from the lake. It wasn't all so ordinary, i heard music like a guitar coming from inside, me being curious I decided to check it out.
I jogged a bit to the side of the cabin pressing my ear against the door crouching down so I could hear the music closer.
"I hate to hurt you, but I got to be honest, I can't give you what you need.
Ooooh
You deserve more than I can promise,
And I'm just tryna
I'm just tryna
Baby I'm just trying to be honest"
I hear the all so familiar voice coming from inside the cabin with the rhythmic tune playing along in my head, just as a melody.
I hear a loud thump after that and i scurry over to a window so I could see inside, i lift my head up a bit to see the window cracked as the cold air got into the heated cabin.
I looked above to see a man and a guitar and a couple of other men.
I didn't even realize that I came face to face with the one and only
Shawn.
{8:37 am}
2/11/17