A/N: I just wanted to add a quick disclaimer here that Charlie is a character whom is based off my own experiences with figure skating, love, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and panic attacks.
Ever since we got to Japan, the two of us haven't spoken a word to each other. Well more like I haven't spoken to him..
"Charlie-chan, please talk to me?" He asks pulling on my sleeve again
Maybe it was a bad thing to get into this relationship so fast....I'm only going to hurt him aren't I?
I go to leave our shared room, when Yuzu bursts from his spot on the bed and blocks my way from leaving
"Charlie-chan, I'm not letting you leave without an explanation" He says crossing his arms
I can't keep hiding from him anymore
I need to tell him
"I don't want to hurt you, Yuzu..." I trail off quietly
"Why would you hurt me?" he asks, stepping closer to me
"Because I don't want you to find out screwed up I am and then get to invested to the point where you can't leave. I'm not normal.." I say sadly, suddenly wishing I could take back what I said
Now I have to explain
"What do you mean?" he asks grabbing my hands in his
Anxiety
I think having a boyfriend, pushes my anxiety further. I now feel like I need to fit his standards and be someone he wants me to be
That's why I don't want to meet his family because family tends to change someones influence on the person they're dating. I don't want his family to realize I'm not good for him
"I have anxiety Yuzu, and depression" I say quietly
That's why my mind races with the worst thoughts
That's why I'm afraid of what people think of me
That's why I hate meeting new people
That's why I try to avoid being around people as much as I can, but with this career I can't
"Charlie-chan, I love you so much. I really do. I might not understand what you're going through but I will always stick by your side no matter what. We can get through this together. I love you because you're strong, talented, smart, beautiful, and the most amazing person I have ever met" he tells me, pulling me into a warm embrace
I hug him back and then pull his face to mine so our foreheads are touching. I can see the sincerity in his eyes; he's telling the truth
"I love you so much Yuzu-kun. Thank you" I tell him
"Don't ever doubt my love for you, Charlie-chan. No one's ever made me feel the way you do" he says
Suddenly all my feelings ignite as he presses his soft lips to mine, pulling me closer by the waist. His kisses always leave me filling full again, like nothing bad will ever happen to me again
"I love you so much", He says, "Don't ever think you are lesser than you are"
"Loving you was the best decision I've ever made, Yuzu-kun"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The short program is about to start and I'm back dressed in my white dress for Ave Maria. Yuzu is decked out in his purple costume with the little decorated vest. He looks absolutely adorable with his hair slicked back
"You look adorable Yuzu-kun!" I say kissing his cheek lightly
"I'm not the adorable one here Charlie-chan!" he says kissing my cheek back
"YOU GUYS ARE BOTH ADORABLE, I LOVE IT!" Javi squeals like a school girl, walking past us
"Thanks Javi, we love you too!" I say as I pull him into a hug, Yuzu following my lead
Suddenly I feel a fourth person join in the hug
"Guys, I know there's so much love in our little family, but the men's competition is about to start in..hmmm," Coach says sarcastically checking his watch, "...mmm 10 minutes. So get to work guys!"
"Good luck out there guys!" I call as the boys are being escorted to the men's group line up
"Land that quad for me, ok?" I tell Yuzu before giving him a light kiss on the lips
"Ok" he replies giving me an award winning smile
"Alright Yuzu come on before I explode from cuteness" Javi says pulling him along
I watch as the boys leave my peripheral vision, lining up with the rest of the men's group for the short
"You'll be ok to practice on your own, Charlie?" Coach asks with a hand on my back
"I'll be alright Coach" I tell him truly
With a nod of his head he then leaves too, going to the Coach the boys while they warm up
"Hey Charlie!" a familiar voice says
I turn around and oh look who it is
Evgenia
"Hey" I say back pulling a smile on my face
"So, I just wanted to wish you good luck before the short! I know you'll do great, I mean you do have two golds on you already" she says
"Oh, thanks! Good luck to you" I say
I watch as she skips away, probably to find her coach
I go back to practicing myself. I run over some jumps and stretch my legs some more to prepare myself for my Biellmann
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The men's event had just finished and both of the boys did amazing, I must say. Yuzu sits in first place with a season's best of 103.89 while Javi is sitting second with 99.78 points on him
I just got off the ice from warm up and I'm feeling pretty confident about my short program. All my elements were smooth and the triple lutz combo was clean for once
"Charlie-chan, Javi and I will be watching in the stands ok? Do your best as always, alright?" He tells me kissing the top of my head
"Have fun out there chicken, I know you got another gold on you" Javi says sticking his hand out for a fist bump, which I bump back
The boys leave the back stage as the first skater, Karen Chen, takes the ice. I skate third in this event so I gotta get my mind set in the right place. To be honest, I've never skated this early before
"Do whatever last minute training you need to Charlie. You'll be up soon" Coach says, putting his attention on me this time
To burn time, I run some grape vines up and down the length of the back stage making sure my body is warm when I skate
Have confidence Charlie
Believe in yourself
Believe in the impossible
God, I really hope giving myself a pregame prep is helping
I grab my skipping rope that sits by the wall and start jumping. I need anything that can help get my body warm for the program
"....Her score for the short program please...58.76. She is currently in first place"
First skater's done, one more to go
"Next to skate, representing Russia Maria Sotskova"
As the second skater takes the ice, I can feel the anxiety build up in me yet again. I close my eyes, hoping I can get a sense of reality; that I'm skating next, that my boyfriend is watching...my boyfriend. If I can't do it for myself, I gotta do it for him
For him
"What are you thinking about there Charlie?" Coach asks being curious
"I gotta do it for him. That's the end goal" I tell him
"Do whatever it is that motivates you to win this Charlie. Your fight this season has been a good one. Now let's go out there and show Japan what you got"
We make our way on over to the rink side as Sotskova is getting her points read out to her
"The scores please for Maria Sotskova....69.96. She is currently in first place"
There it is, the number to beat
Let's kick it Barack!
Random saying I know, ignore me
"Skating next and representing Canada, Charlotte Akagi!"
Here we go
I skate to the centre of the ice once again, preparing myself for another gold medal performance
It's never for me though
It's for him
The soft tune of Ave Maria allows my body to move one with music and my game face is on, ready to go
.
.
.
"The short program scores for Charlotte Akagi of Canada...76.50. She is currently in first place"
"Another gold on the way Charlie?" Coach asks jokingly, putting his hand up for a high-five
"Hopefully, but there's more skaters to come" I tell him, slapping my hand to his
The two of us make our way back stage yet again where Javi and Yuzu are already waiting
"Charlie-chan! I knew you could do it" Yuzu says pressing a sweet kiss to my mouth
"GUYS WAIT I NEED A PHOTO!" Javi calls before grabbing his phone
I don't mind though, I needed this happiness right now
.
.
.
The competition for the ladies short event ends and I'm sitting in second by the end of it. Evgenia took first in the short with a score of 78.87 points
"Wait here guys" I tell the boys as Team Orser make their way out of the rink. I see Evgenia ahead of us and let go of Yuzu's hand, making my way towards her
"Chicken you're not gonna pound the kid are you?" Javi asks worriedly
I don't answer him instead I call her name
"Evgenia!" I shout and she turns around
"Oh hey Charlie! Good skate" she says with a smile
"Thanks, I just wanted to congratulate you on your short" I tell her honestly and pull her into a hug
"Now that is something I though I'd never see" I hear Javi whisper to Yuzu
"I'll see you at the free" I tell her moving away
"I'll see you too" she says back before walking away with her coach
"Wow Charlie, I'm proud of you" Javi tells me, pulling me in for a noogie
"Oh shut up you!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now it wouldn't be an international competition without Javi inviting everyone to his room now would it?
So yes, everyone in our little friend group is gathered in Javi's room going over all the latest skating gossip
"So I heard the ship sailed!" Tessa squeals, clapping her hands excitedly
"Yeah Charlie! Tell us, is Yuzu a good boyfriend?" Maia inquires
"If he's not I'll beat him up!" Scott jokingly threatens
"NOOO Scotty! He bruises easily" I laugh, wrapping my arms around Yuzu protectively
"Charlie-chan, you almost cried when you feel on your first quad toe attempt. I have my reasons for bruising easily!" he defends
The whole group is laughs and continues to have a good time, until hours later, Alex proposes that we should get take out and bring it back to the room to eat
"But I don't wanna get up and go out again" Meagan whines
"How about two people go?" Eric proposes
And once the words leave his mouth the whole group turns to us
"What?" Yuzu asks innocently
"The couple goes!" Scott calls and the whole group agrees nodding their heads and mumbling some yes's
"Alright fine guys! I thought you'd all like to know some juicy stuff, but I guess not" I say dramatically grabbing my coat and shoes before leaving hand in hand with Yuzu
"Do you know any good places to eat around here?" I ask Yuzu once the two of us are outside the hotel
"I do know a good barbecue place" he answers
"But Meagan's a vegan" I tell him, remembering her dietary choices
"I know another place that has some vegan options" he announces
The two of us make our way through Sapporo, admiring the beauty of Japan along our way
"I kind of want to move back to Japan sometimes' I say out of the blue
"I miss home sometimes, but I'm glad Toronto brought me to you"
"Well Yuzu-kun, technically I came back to Toronto"
"Still, we found each other didn't we?"
"You know Yuzu, I never knew you'd be a sappy romance type of guy"
"Charlie-chan, I just want to do whatever I can to make you feel special"
"Maybe we can move to Japan one day, when we're retired from skating"
"I would like that Charlie. I'd like to have the honor of marrying you one day Charlie-chan"
"I'd like that too Yuzu-kun"
We finally made it to the take out place Yuzu mentioned and the both of us start reading off the menu to order
After $120.00 Canadian later, the two of us were lugging bags of Japanese take out back to the hotel
"Charlie-chan, it's getting really dark" Yuzu says looking up to the sky
It is though
All the sunlight that was out when we went out has gone under the clouds and the moon was coming through
"Stick close to me ok, Charlie-chan, I don't want to lose you" Yuzu says grabbing my sleeve with his index finger and thumb, seeing as most of his fingers are looped in the plastic bags holding the take out
"I hate the dark" I grumble
"Don't worry, we're almost at the hotel" he reassures
We were about a block away from the hotel when someone speeds in our direction, promptly running into me and knocking over the take out bag in my right hand
Thank god the containers kept the food safe
"Hey watch it!" I yell out in Japanese
"Sorry Miss, I really a-Charlotte?"
The head of the speaker looks up and I can see the face from under the dark hoodie. Automatically, I recognize the familiar face right away
"Keith?"