[3:25 a.m. Lisbon Portugal]
*delaney*
I woke up out of breath shaking and tears soaking into my pillow. This wasn't the first time this has happened, it's kind of been a reoccurring thing. I ran my fingers through my messy bed head still shaking from the nightmare, before I knew it silent sobs escaped my lips.
I felt the weight on the bed lift up and I felt Christians arms wrapping around me.
"Shhh...everything's okay" I heard him whisper into my ear rocking me back and fourth just like a baby. It was funny how I am the big sister and he's the baby of the family and he seems to be more of the older one.
"Was it another nightmare?" I have talked to my family about the occasional nightmares I have and it's always been the same.
I was laying down on a open field with a storm rolling in. I got up off of the field grass and brushed off the dirt from my shorts, I heard a noise come from behind me, I turned my head to see my father with blood dripping down upon his face and him clutching his heart from out of his chest, he was mumbling words I couldn't make out. He had blood all over, I took a few steps back and I felt a pain in my back, I soon felt my self being stabbed. Hard. I fell to the ground feeling pain throughout my whole body, I went numb and than I felt the poring rain on me along with my tears and chokes as I felt my self get punched in the stomach repeatedly. Than I woke up.
That was the nightmare I had, it disturbed me on so many levels, and the worst part was is that it felt so real.
"Yes...I think I'm going to get a drink" I say getting up from under the covers I looked back at my brother with a sympathetic look, memories from last night came back to my head and I felt bad for yelling and getting mad at him and same goes to Cole, I only realized that they are trying to protect me and that they love me and don't want anything happened to me. I felt terrible now.
"I'm sorry" I tell him and I left the room to go downstairs to get a drink. I really could use some water.
I got a drink and went back upstairs to see Christian already fast asleep, I climbed in under the covers next to him and laid on my back sighing, I closed my eyes and as hard as I tried I couldn't get the image out of my head of my dad with blood all over his face, it haunted me. I tossed and turned for probably the next hour. I took this that I couldn't get to sleep and there's no point of trying to go back to sleep.
I groaned and I got back out of bed pushing my self out to the bathroom, I grabbed my phone to see it read 4:56 a.m.
I sat on the toilet contemplating if I should text Shawn or not because I need someone to talk to, but I doubt he'd be up at this hour. I sat there for another 5 minutes or so until I felt my fingers typing away and I pressed the send button and sighed, I felt bad for texting him this early.
Me:
are you up??
I somewhat regretted it once I sent it but I almost immediately got a reply which I was very surprised to.
Shawn:
Yeah, what's up?
Me:
what're you doing up this early!
Shawn:
I could ask the same for you lol
Me:
had a nightmare...:(
Shawn:
Wait
I was confused but I heard my phone going off and I saw him face timing me, I rolled my eyes and I smiled a bit.
"Hey" I chuckled.
"Hey to you to, I'm sorry you had a nightmare...I know it sucks" he pouts and it was soo cute I took a screenshot hoping he wouldn't know though.
"I guess it's okay...just can't go back to sleep now" I sigh a bit, I was really tired but every time I closed my eyes I could see the bloody sight in my head, I cringe at the thought of it.
"I'm so sorry..." he trails off
"Anyways, why are you up at this hour" I point out to him.
"Writing music...playing guitar, I do it quite often actually. I can't seem to get a normal sleep schedule much, you think being 18 I would!" He exclaims and I couldn't help but laugh.
"I know what you mean...I do have reoccurring nightmares so...I don't get the best sleep some nights" he nods his head.
"Well I should probably get to trying to go to sleep now, goodnight or should I say good morning shawn" I chuckled a bit as I yawned at the same time.
"Okay goodnight Delaney" something about the way he said my name, he way it rolled off his tongue, sent vibrations throughout my whole body.
"Wait!" He exclaimed witch startled me a bit.
"what?" I confusedly look at him.
"Nice bra by the way, lace looks good on you" he smirks and winks and I gasp and look down, I totally forgot I was in my bra!!! I was so embarrassed I began to blush. I look back up at the camera and to see him smirking than he winked and he ended it.
I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed in my life, but at the same time it was kind of attractive how he liked my bra. I bit my lip and clutched my phone to my chest sighing a loving sigh.
No Delaney! I cannot be thinking dirty thoughts when I am only friends with him, what was up with me nowadays. I don't even like him, and never would. I rolled my eyes and got up from off the toilet and went back to the bedroom.
I laid back down suddenly forgetting the nightmare I had and my mind trail to somewhere else and I don't think I've ever felt this way towards anyone before and especially in this short amount of time, golly Delaney I need to stop thinking about him.
****
I woke up later than usual, around 10:30, I was exhausted from last night and I still am. I rose from the bed anyways, and I got up from my slumber.
"Delaney, dear come down stairs!" I hear my mothers sweet voice from downstairs.
I went down to the kitchen to see my cousins all in there and everyone together.
"SOFIA, NOELA!" I exclaim as I hug both of my cousins, they were like my best friends but we barely saw each other.
"Girl I missed you!" Sofia strokes my hair smiling.
"Oh my gosh me to!! It's been forever, we have so much catching up to do! How about we go to the mall for lunch and to shop!!" Noela exclaims and I laugh a bit, I missed them so much.
"Of course, after breakfast I'll get ready" I tell them and they both nod their heads.
Once we got done eating and I was done eating we drove to the mall, and man, it felt great to have girls around here to talk to.
"I haven't went shopping in a while so this should be great" Sofia says to both of us and I could agree with her. I wouldn't say I had a amazing social life but I don't go out much back at home, I do hang out with this girl at school that so happens to be my only friend, my best friend, Lilly.
"How have you been, met any hot guys?" Noela wiggles her eyebrows and I could only laugh, we were currently in the mall. Going to American Eagle. My mind went straight to shawn.
"Um...in a matter of fact I have" I chuckled.
"Ooooh who! Is he from here? Portuguese men are hot! Is he American? Americans are hotter!" Sofia says so amused, it was adorable.
"Well...his names sha-" I suddenly got cut off by a springing outburst in the middle of the Vasco da Gama mall.
"IS THAT SHAWN MENDES!" I hear one piercing girl yell.
My heart nearly began racing like I was another fan.
"SHAWN freaking MENDES IS HERE!" Noela and Sofia tug on my arm to the strange and sudden outburst that had just happened. I saw shawn in the middle of a huddle of girls smiling and waving, I couldn't believe he was this famous. It was like I didn't have him all to myself anymore, wait, I never had.
"HOLY CRAP!! Delaney!! You know what this means?! I'm meeting SHAWN MENDES" they both yell into my ear but I was to concentrated on the fact that shawn was here and our little conversation from last night and bra incident nearly left me wanting to run the other direction from the other girls.
I didn't speak I just watched as all the girls maybe about 50? Or more. All went into a line to get pictures and to meet shawn. This was crazy.
"Fancy meeting you here" I hear the voice of an angel come from in front of me I slightly blush at the sight of him.
"Hi shawn, didn't know Mr. Famous was going to be here" I laughed a bit and so did he.
"Would you like to get a picture, my number one fan" he joked around with me and I rolled my eyes and held up my phone, he grabbed me tightly by the waist pulling me so close to his side I was nearly out of breath. Our head touched one another's and we took a stunning picture.
"Beautiful!" Shawn said towards the picture and I don't know if he was mentioning me or the picture but either way I was blushing hard.
"By the way, I wouldn't mind seeing you in that bra more often" he whispered in my ear as I was just about to go and my jaw dropped open by those words I nearly sprinted off. I couldn't handle all this confusion of my emotions going on at the moment.
I stopped by a bench, not to far from where shawn was. The same thing was happening yesterday when I was with him. I have no clue what was happening to me and i didn't like it. I once again felt out of breath, I felt as if I was one of the fans.
"Delaney!!! Omfg!!! We! Just! Met! Shawn! Mendes!" They jump up and squeal. Just then I came up with a great idea! I should just pretend I'm a fan like them and I wouldn't have to show to publicity that we were friends and I was just a crazed fan, that would work, right?
"I'm so out of breath right now...I wish I could talk to him longer!! I can't believe we met him!!! Gosh just look at him" I think that's how it works.
We all turned towards him to see him looking back at us and waving to us.
"DID YOU JUST SEE THAT?! HE WAVED TO US HE DIDNT DO THAT TO ANYONE BUT US!! DID HE SEE THE SMILE HE HAD THE WAY HIS TEETH GLEAMED AND THE WAY HIS SMILE WAS SO BRIGHT?!" Sofia jumped up and down but instantly played it cool when he looked back over here.
"Guys...this is too much for me right now...I have to go to the bathroom" I hurry and get up and rush to the bathroom and I threw myself into the bathroom, why was my heart racing so fast?! I feel like I'm doing something so wrong but yet so right, I can't quite put my finger on it though.
"Delaney?" I hear a voice from outside the bathroom. Great. Just who I wanted to see.
"What" i say in a somewhat happy tone.
"Hey" he smiled, stop. smiling. Shawn.
"Uh...I gotta go...see you later" I bit my lip and swerve past him and he looked so confused. I felt a hand tug to my wrist I turned around to see him more confused as ever.
"Why...you just got here..." I felt horribly bad but I knew I couldn't be around him like this any longer, I knew it would only break my heart in the end.
"Sorry I have to go..." I turn back around without a look at his puppy dog face. I walked away from him. Hopefully for a long time.
"Girls...lets go" I tell sofia and Noela as they were still fangirling over him.
"Why! We just got here" noela exclaimed.
"I just don't feel well...but since you guys wanted to shop I guess one store won't hurt" I tell them to make it fair, I just wanted to keep my distance from shawn so I wouldn't have to feel these emotions I'm feeling right now.
"Okay...I'm sorry love" they patted my back and I faked a smile and we went to some dress shop.
I guess looking at dresses would help and keep my mind off of things.
I found this beautiful summer dress, it was white with lace on the front and the back was well, backless. I kind of needed it. I checked the price tag that read 45 dollars, not bad for a dress like this.
I didn't even feel like trying it on I went up to the front and paid and Sofia and Noela bought something to.
We got to the car, which I was so relieved we did I was exhausted from everything that has happened today.
"Today has been...shocking and unreal!!" Noela says as she drove the car back to my grandmothers.
"It has been...I just can't believe I met him...after all these years.." sofia sighed almost a loving sigh, I felt as if I was going to be sick. But I had to stick to what I said. I was going to pretend I was a fan.
"It was...overwhelming I should say" overwhelming was definitely a right term for that.
"That's one way to put it' they agree and I didn't say much of anything the whole way I just listened as they fangirled.
Once I got back it the house I was so relieved everything was over and I didn't have to hear his name repeatedly.
"Hey" I simply say to my family not wanting to make much of a conversation.
"Are you feeling alright hunny...you look really pale" my grandfather walks up to me and puts his hand on my forehead, just like shawn did last night. Shawn. That name made me angry but also made my heart flutter. Why was I like this?
"I'm fine, just feeling a little homesick" it was partly true.
He nodded his head and I laid down on the couch and turned on the tv to see a cheesy hallmark movie on and with that I went to sleep in peace.
{8:17 pm}
1/21/17