[6:45 p.m. Lisbon, Portugal]
[3 days after lunch date with Shawn]
*delaney*
After these 4 days of being here, I'm finally able to get good sleep and not being on Philadelphias time zone. I haven't been doing a whole bunch lately but I was somewhat glad because I got to spend time with my beloved family, which was honestly rare because my mom has to raise 2 teens (not counting Cole since he's moved out) so she's mostly at work all the time so it's basically just me and Christian. Or Christian goes hangs out with friends. That's one reason why I'm probably closer to Christian since I have to deal with him 24/7 and live with him. But sometimes, I wish my mom didn't have to work and we could just all be together she's the only mother I have and will ever have, I don't have a father and I don't want to lose my mother either.
"Where are you now going to?" I hear footsteps behind me and flip my head around to see my mom standing there with her hands on her hips.
"Um..im just going to go on a walk" this is my third time lying to my mother this week, and I do feel really guilty about it.
"Well I guess that's fine...BUT make sure you have your phone on you at all times and call me if your hurt or anything" I nodded my head and I kissed her cheek and left the house.
It was 50 degrees outside and honestly it wasn't that bad when you had a oversized sweatshirt on.
My phone went off and i saw I got a text from Shawn.
Shawn:
Hey I'm walking wbu?
Me:
me to, I'll be there in 5 or 10
I turned my phone off and began walking with a more quicker pace. I don't know why I was so eager to get there but there was just something about seeing him, kind of pulled me in.
I wasn't entirely lying to my mom because I was going on a walk, but I've been sneaking out lately to see Shawn. So far it's been every day he's such a great friend I'm kind of sad I doubted him on the plane I didn't realize how genuine he was until now.
I see a shadow ahead and a smile crept upon my face. I saw Shawn's presence walking closer to me with a maroon hoodie and black jeans with his hands in his pockets.
"Hey" I say as we got closer to each other.
"Hi" he breathed out
"What have you done today?" We just stood there in the middle of the soon to be night.
"Not much, how about you?" I asked.
"same old same old, interviews, photo shoots, writing songs, performing at arenas with 30,000 people" at first I thought he was being for-real until I realized he was being sarcastic. I lightly pushed him and he laughed.
"You butt! I thought you were for-real" I chuckled a bit.
"But honestly, I did about as much as you probably, other than writing songs" I nodded my head and than we began walking along the street side by side, keeping one another's distance, but for some reason I felt to be closer to him than what we were right now.
"Id like to hear some, one day" I told him.
"Maybe when I go to the studio I'll give you the rough cut" he winked, something about that wink gave me a unknown feeling in my stomach.
"So what was your excuse for coming to see me today" he smirked over to me and I rolled my eyes.
"What makes me you say it's an excuse?" I smirk back to him.
"well you did tell me that you had to come up with something to why you were going out"
"You got me! Honestly I don't know why I am making excuses but it wasn't really a excuse or a lie I said I was going on a walk but I didn't say I was going with anyone" I shrug.
"Why do you make excuses if you don't mind me asking you?" He turned towards me and i bit my lip I don't know how I was going to explain it.
"Well long story short...I have a over protective family and if they find out that im with a guy cough cough my brothers, than they'd ask me tons of questions and i would most likely not be able to talk to you anymore"
"That's sucks, but they shouldn't let it stop you from who you decide to talk to or who you want be friends with, I understand how they could make you make excuses" I nodded my head because he was right, I shouldn't let them decide who I talk to or not im my own person.
"Exactly! I hate it at times but than I understand because with the whole dad incident they don't want anything happening to me" I look down but back up to see Shawns piercing hazel eyes staring deep down into my eyes. And for that very moment my breath got caught into the very back of my throat and my heart pounded, I've never felt anything like this. I didn't know what to do so I clutched onto my chest heaving for air, I couldn't explain the feeling that was happening.
"Delaney? Delaney?! Are you alright!!" I felt Shawns hand on the small of my back rubbing it slightly as I dry heaved into the grass.
"I'm so sorry about that..." I stood back up and wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my sweatshirt.
"It's perfectly fine...you feel a little hot do you want to go back to your grandmas?" I shook my head no as he put his hand on my forehead. I didn't want to go back at the moment I actually was enjoying right now even though I puked in front of Shawn.
"I'm good" I tell him and I felt my self sitting down against the brick wall. Seeing Shawn copy what I was doing.
"Are you sure?" He put his hand on my knee and the same thing happened in my stomach from earlier.
"Yes Shawn" I gulp.
"Okay just making sure..." we sat in silence for about 15 minutes and yet I enjoyed every bit of it, but I knew I would have to be leaving so I wouldn't worry anyone.
"Shawn I'm going to have to go now it's getting late" i checked my phone and it read 8:24 i didn't know i was wish Shawn for 2 hours now, time does go by fast.
"I'll walk you back" he says but I don't think he realized that it would be another hour until we get back.
"Umm...we should probably get a taxi since it's really late and we have no clue where we are" I guess we both didn't realize where we we're until now.
"Good idea" he laughs and we waited until another taxi came by.
We went in the backseat and I told them the address and we were back in about 10 minutes.
****
"Bye Shawn...I enjoyed it" i say as we both got out of the taxi.
"I'll walk you to the door...if that's okay" he tells me and I guess it wouldn't hurt so I just nodded my head and he walked me up to the door and we stood there as the light under the patio went on.
"See you soon...maybe tomorrow?" He asked me and I once again nodded.
"Yes of course" I tell him and we stood there looking at each other in silence and I couldn't help but bite my lip.
"I guess bye" he says awkwardly and I chuckle and I pull him into a hug. He was taken back at first but he hugged me back, lightly afraid he was going to break a bone or something.
"Bye Shawn see you later" I smiled as we both let go.
"Bye Delaney" he walked out hearing only the tapping of his shoes on the concrete.
I took my keys out of my sweatshirt pocket and opened the front door walking inside.
"I'm back, sorry it took so long" I bit my lip hoping no one saw what had happened outside, even though everything was innocent.
"After 2 hours you are" my grandmother walked in and I rolled my eyes.
"Sorry got carried away, it was very beautiful tonight"'I tell my grandma.
"Okay well tomorrow we're going to have a busy day ahead of us!" She said in her I guess you should say her Portuguese accent.
"Oh okay I should probably get some rest soon then" I tell her and she nodded her head.
I went upstairs to see Cole and Christian both by the room I am sharing with Christian.
"Where were you actually tonight" they both say sternly. I swear I was about to it their dicks off.
"I went for a walk, and if you may excuse me I have to take a shower" I try to maneuver past them.
"Than who was that guy that was hugging you by the door?" Cole sternly said. In it my lip. Hard.
"No one, why should it matter anyway all you guys do is control my life!! And I'm so sick and tired of it, i am my own person and all you do is tell me what to do and I'm so done with it!!! You guys act like your MY FATHER AND YOU WONT EVER BE SO STOP ACTING LIKE IT!" I yell at both of them and slammed the bedroom door on theme. I think I hit a trigger spot on both of them when I talked about dad, it was a hard topic to talk about. I was just so upset at the moment I don't know what had gotten into me. I couldn't help but to start crying it was all I had at the moment me and my tears and for the first time since 5 years...
I actually felt alone.
{3:43 pm}
1/20/17