Marshall P.O.V
Monday has finally come, Don't you hate when you actually want a day to come that it seems to take forever and when you don't want a day to come, it flies by so quickly. Since last time I saw Sarah which was on Wednesday I have already done two concerts in new York, about three interviews and 1 radio show, and I am so exhausted but luckily the weekend was all about resting and relaxing to make sure that I was fine for tonight.
Even though I have been really busy, I still cant stop thinking about Sarah. We tried to stay in contact as much as we could but with her having the boys and me being busy with my girls and work there was never much time to sit down and call each other and if we did call each other it was usually at night when our kids were in bed, I do have to admit it was nice to hear your girlfriends voice before you fall asleep, it kind of felt like she was right there next to me laying in my arms telling me about her day but realization would hit me when I would roll over to have nothing but a pillow next to me, deep down feeling sad wishing it was Sarah.
" so who you cooking dinner for Dad" Hailie asked as she came down and sat next to me while her sisters were getting breakfast. I was surprised and taken back at her question but also worrying that she might know about Sarah.
" what are you talking about?" I asked with a good fake questioning face as I continued to eat my breakfast.
" Come on Dad, where not dumb. These last couple of days all you have been reading is Recipe books which aren't usually your type of book. You also have been calling someone at night. So your obviously have a date with someone. Is it Sarah?" she said with a cheeky, mischievous face. I forget that they are getting older and are more nosier. It was so much easier when they were younger, and didn't really have any idea about dating, But these days you can't get anything past them.
" You guys are to nosy" I replied before looking back down at my breakfast, I was hoping if I was blunt they would just give up but they did the complete opposite, before I knew it Alaina and Whitney had joined the table and the conversation.
" your just not very good at being secretive. I am guessing by the blunt answer Hailie was right about having a date with Sarah" Alaina said making the others laugh, luckily I don't think Whitney had a really good Idea about what was happening but she still went along with them, as they continued to question me and my dating life. I just sat there at the head of the table watching my daughters joke around about my dating life, all I could think about was where did all those years go. I remember all of them being smaller enough and sitting on my lap as they told me all about their day and their favourite things that they loved, back than it was things like sponge bob and barbies now its all about Boys and clothes.
" so are you cooking dinner for Sarah?" Hailie asked again making me snap out of my thoughts and realising they were never going to give up on this subject, as much as I wanted to keep this a secret having three very nosy girls can be hard.
" I might be" I said quietly before getting up and walking back towards the kitchen, unfortunately it was connected to the dinning room, so just as I thought they continued to question me. I wonder if they do this to Kim when she goes on dates? I cant believe I actually said that without feeling any strong hurt, back in the day when Kim used to date I would always feel hurt and jealous whenever I thought about it but today it doesn't bother me at all, Maybe it was a sign that I was really allowing Sarah into my heart
" well if you are, you have to make her something nice" Hailie said not bothering that I did say Maybe, she had already got the hint that I was making dinner for Sarah, and all of them being teenage girls couldn't wait to give me advice.
" and you cant make something to fancy or over the top. Girls hate it when guys go overboard" Alaina added to the end of Hailie's commented. I seriously just stopped when I realised what they were doing.
" are you seriously give me advice on dating and advice on Girls" I said laughing as I thought how stupid this all was. Wasn't I the parent here, wasn't I the one who should be giving advice out. not the other way round. " For your information I have dated heaps of Women during my time" I continued as I was washing up our plates. I know what to do on dates and how to handle women, I have even dated famous women for goodness sake and here they are talking like I don't have a life.
" Yeah but not Women you actually really like and care about" Hailie stated making me look up, I took a few seconds to actually think about what she was saying and she was right. I might have dated a lot of women but not one I care so much about, not special women like Sarah, there hasn't been a woman that has taken the time to get to know me and looked passed my imperfections except for Sarah. For so long I have been busy hiding my feelings that I don't know how to be happy anymore but the feelings that I am experiencing with Sarah its making me finally realise that people are right when they say everything happens for a reason and that it is possible to love again and just maybe Sarah was the one.
" don't worry I know what I'm doing. Now come on I should get you guys to school" I said as I watched them grab or their things for school. Just like every day we all jumped into the car ready for me to drive them for school. Alaina does have a car but she doesn't like to drive it so much, since she has to pay for it all she sees that there is not point in driving to school when I Drive Hailie and Whitney anyway. My daughters are very smart like that, they know that I am not going to hand everything to them and that they have to work to earn things. Yes I might be rich but I don't want them to think they can live life without earning things, it will make them appreciate things more.
Hailie and Alaina were the last ones to be dropped of, just like always Hailie ran of to her friends straight away but not before giving me a kiss goodbye, which I always love its doesn't matter who she is in front of she never forgets to say goodbye and tell me she loves me.
" Hey Dad, take this" Alaina said as she leant over from the back, even though Alaina is not biologically mine I still love her the same as Hailie. To be honest she is someone I look up to, she is so young and has been through hell and back but she always is so strong and sees all the positive in things.
" what is it" I asked looking at the envelope she had just given me. I was thinking maybe it was a bill to pay or like a college application but I knew she wouldn't give it to me just before school.
" Its something I have always tried to live by" she said before giving me a quick kiss and skipping out of the car towards her friends before I even had the chance to ask anything. It wasn't until I was home that I actually decided to open the envelope being very curious as to what she meant. It was hand written and wasn't addressed to anyone, the only thing that was written on the paper was.
When love knocks at your door,
Just breathe, Relax
and let It in.
Because being afraid of Happiness is complete nonsense
I read it over a couple of times to make sure I got it right, How did Alaina know that I was terrified to let someone in? How did she know that was the thing I needed to help me? Its funny when raising teenagers you think that they don't listen or even pay attention to things going on in your life because they are always so distanced and in their own little world, but the note Alaina just gave me really showed me that even though there not always interested in your life , it doesn't mean they don't pay attention to you.
It wasn't until 7 when Sarah arrived, I was actually happy she was because I have spent the last couple of hours trying to make sure everything was perfect, from the dinner to the dining set. Even though I made fun of the girls giving me advice, I did secretly listen to them which I would never admit it to them. I went for something simple with the dinner, some chicken pasta that I found in a recipe book. I also went for a simple but delicate dining set, so it looked nice but not to over the top that It looks like I tried to hard.
" coming" I yelled from the kitchen when I heard the door ring, since I have security gates and a security guard 24/7 I knew that it could only be one person. Quickly glancing at everything before I walked to open the front door excited finally knowing Sarah was here.
Sarah P.O.V
I was overwhelmed by Marshall's house, I don't think I have seen one so massive and protected, he bloody has security guards watching 24/7. I was still gazing around his house admiring the view and decoration that was on the exterior when he opened the door. The sudden noise made me turned round making me face once again a very handsome Marshall.
"He..." I started to say but stopped when he suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me into inside, at start I thought he was trying to get me away from the door, so know paparazzi could get a picture of me and start some lame rumour, but I was taken back when Marshall didn't say anything he just smashed his lips to me.
" Hey to you too" I said laughing at his sudden outburst of emotion as we pulled apart but still in each others arm. Marshall never gives any emotions or hints of feelings for what he is feeling inside but tonight he wasn't afraid to show.
" Sorry, Its just I haven't seen you for a couple of days and I guess I've kind of missed you" he said softly while still holding me close to him while he looked down at me, our lips still inches away from each other. As much as Marshall was surprising me, I do have to say I was liking this more emotional side of Marshall, maybe we were going to get somewhere tonight with the whole trusting each other, Maybe he was going to open more up to me?
" you missed me? Aww how sweet" I said smiling at what he just said, he gives me butterflies on a normal day basis so I was basically about to have a heart attack while listening him say nice and romantic things like this. I couldn't help but go on about it
" Okay, okay I get the point. It was corny" he said letting me go and taking a step backwards. I felt bad knowing he was getting upset and embarrassed watching me laugh at him. I wasn't trying to be mean, I just couldn't help it.
" Marshall, I'm Sorry" I said grabbing his wrist before he had the chance to walk away, even though I didn't mean to make him upset, I could tell he was a little bit cut over my reaction. This wasn't helping me trying to make him open up more. " It wasn't corny and I wasn't laughing at you. I guess I don't know how to react to compliments like that. I haven't had anyone say it to me for so long." I said as I wrapped my hands around his neck pulling him closer, so he no choice but to place his hands on my waist.
" Do you forgive me because I missed you as well" I said before kissing him gently on the lips and than pulling back to see his reaction. Luckily he was standing there with a smile on his face.
" I forgive you" he replied before returning the favour with another gently more affection kiss. This time both of us pulling in closer to each other allowing us to deepen the kiss and me allowing him access with his tongue.
" come on I'll give you a tour" he said as we pulled away for the final time, before Marshall helped me get out of my coat and made sure he placed my handbag In a safe place. Taking my hand he gave me a tour of his amazing Massive home which was filled with Family photos and memories of the old days. I was astonished at how perfect it all was, I guess only having kids every fortnight must be easy keeping the house clean but even my house isn't this tidy. I swear after having a tour, I knew it was still going to take me a while to find my way round the place, it was massive has about 4 bathrooms, like 7 bedrooms and even has an indoor pool and an elevator.
" Wow, your house is like amazing. Defiantly wasn't expecting it" I said as we walked back to the entry of the house. I guess I didn't think about what I had just said until I saw Marshall looking over at me weirdly. " no, it's not in a bad way. it's just your so down to earth and humble. I sometimes forget that you like one of biggest music artist on the planet" I quickly added trying to clean the mess I had caused. I was really on a roll tonight, it's only been nearly an hour and I have seemed to made a fool out of myself twice ready.
" Sarah, stop panicking. I know what you meant and thank you for calling me humble and one of the greatest music artist Alive" he said as he stopped me and pulled me closer into him, so I could rest my head on chest as he held me tight.
" I am sorry for being a bitch tonight. I guess I am just nervous" I said as I listened to his heart beating and getting lost in his amazing cologne.
" Why are you nervous, it's not like we haven't been on dates before" he asked why he started walking into the kitchen with his arms still wrapped around me showing me comfort and support.
" I guess it's because I never have been this far in a relationship. In the past I tend to scare guys or they get bored before the third date. So I am just worried that..." I was dying it suddenly was stopped by Marshall kissing me again. What is up with him and his feelings tonight ?.
" Don't be worried or nervous, because your not turning me off in anyway, to be honest I thought I would be one turning you off" he said as he leant back, but still cupping my face with his warm hands. He was right I shouldn't be worried, he would have walked away long before if I was turning him off in anyway. Being nervous is just ruining my night and I didn't want to let my nerves ruin a perfect night with Marshall.
As i stood in Marshall's arms I couldn't help but notice the amazing smell that was filling the room.
" Something smells nice" I stated as I let go of Marshall and looked to see where it was coming from. Following for smell which led me to walk into the kitchen and dining room.
" Omg, Marshall" were the only words I could say as I stood in the door frame looking at all the trouble he went to. The informal dining room which was connected to the kitchen and lounge room was set beautifully. It wasn't to over the top with candles and roses, it was just perfect it really showed me that Marshall went to a lot of trouble to set up tonight. It wasn't like he hired someone to do it for him, he really wanted to put some heart and effort into it, which I really appreciate.
" I know its not really romantic, but I didn't want to go over the top" he stated as he watched me stand there in silence, I could tell he was the one stressing and panicking whether it was good enough for me. I continued to glance over the dining table and than over to the lounge room which was only lit by the lamps on the tables, it also was accompanied by a warm fire that was coming from the stone fireplace that tired everything together.
" I love it. Its so cosy and its very Romantic" I said as I started to walk round and look at photos that were in the lounge room while Marshall went to finish dinner. Just by all the photos on the wall, you could tell he loved his family very much, There were photos of his girls and his brother accompanied by photos of close friends including Royce and Dre.
" can I get you a drink, I don't have much alcohol but." he said from the kitchen, while he continued to plate up dinner. I understood him not having much alcohol since he and his brother are both sober, luckily I wasn't much of a drinking either.
" No that's fine, A coke is fine" I said while walking over to join him in the kitchen, where the dinner looked and smelt amazing. He just smirked at me knowing I was a real coke girl before he gave me the drink. It wasn't long before we both were siting at the amazing set table and were eating an amazing cooked dinner, which I never expected Marshall to make.
" This is delicious, who knew you could cook as well. You keep surprising me Marshall" I said as we sat across from each other, while we both made small talk as we ate the dinner that he cooked. I honestly thought that I would have seen a chef leave when I arrived that he had hired to cook dinner, but no this was all Marshall.
" well what can I say, I am just so used to making dinners for beautiful girls" he replied making me gasp in shock but than giggle knowing it was a joke that was meant to make me react just the way I did. It didn't take long before he stated that it was a joke joining me as we both laughed at his comment. I know Marshall didn't mean it, it was his way of being flirt and cheeky and I really liked this side of him, he wasn't afraid to joke around.
We sat at the table for a little while longer after we finished dinner just talking and joking around. We talked a little bit about what happen this morning with his girls which made me laugh, I understood that we couldn't keep this a secret for much longer knowing we both have nosy children, but right now we were just taking it one day at a time.
I swear we spent more time just staring at each other and not even realising how caught up we had gotten in each others eyes until something happened that made us come back to earth. We just kept staring at each other the whole night, for a moment I thought our eyes were attached to each other by an invisible string.
" you want to watch a movie" he asked after the dishes were done and we both had cleaned up, even though he insisted that I sit and relax while he cleans, I couldn't let him do all the work besides it was kind of fun cleaning up together, I couldn't help but start to wonder if this could possibly become our future, but I tried to stop myself knowing that was far away and I shouldn't get my hopes up.
" sure" I replied following him into the lounge room that was still being warmed by the fire. It was kind of weird even though I have lived in America for so long, I am still an Aussie at heart. IF we were back home there would never have been a fire or having to wear long heavy coats. Winter in Australia, you can still get away with just wearing tracksuits because the sun would still give heat, but here in America most Winter days was rain or snow, and tonight it was like all the other nights Raining and heavy winds with a possible thunderstorms. I guess I do have to admit that having it raining outside and windy made the inside more cosier.
" so what do you like? please don't say a romantic Comedy. The amount of chick flicks I have had to sit through" he joked while opening the DVD cabinet. Its so weird because he is so manly and his music shows him as heartless but from the little things he says about his daughters and the things he does for them like watching chick flicks really shows that he would do anything for the people he loves and anything to see his daughters happy.
" haha I really like anything but not the movies about Demons or Ghost cause they freak me out and I get nightmares" I said feeling a tad embarrassed that I mentioned I still get nightmares, but I just laughed it of with Marshall who seemed to have just found the perfect DVD.
" what about Ted, its meant to be funny" he asked holding the DVD up to show me, I agreed that was the perfect one. It wasn't to romantic and it wasn't to hard to follow. I am a massive Leonardo Di Caprio fan and I love the movies like Inception where you have to actually think about what s going on. But with Marshall sitting next to me I don't think one of those movies would be good knowing I would just be to distracted.
" you warm enough" Marshall asked as we had made our way back to the lounge and had gotten comfortable in each others arms while the blanket laid on top of us. I was loving the feeling of being so close and leaning my head of his chest that I could feel his warmth and hear his heart beating.
" perfect" was all I said as I was leaning on his chest beginning to watch the movie. We both sat in silence as the movie started but started to talk and comment as the movie went on. It was meant to be a really good movie but Honestly Marshall and I got caught up talking that we weren't paying attention.
" you really don't think she is pretty" I asked as we continued our debate if Mila Kunis was attractive all not. I know Ryan and Didier adore her but when I asked Marshall he just said she was alright, which was very surprising for a guy.
" She is alright, I don't know I just don't find her as attractive as everyone leads on" he said softly while looking at me. By this stage we had fully forgotten about the movie and were currently again in a deep conversation. Marshall had placed my legs over his lap while I was leaning on my elbow which was on the back of the lounge.
" so who do you find attractive" I asked curious as to what made him attractive to other girls. I know he had dated a lot of blondes so maybe Blonde hair was more his style.
" Fine if I have to name one, it would be Rosie Huntington- whitely, but only certain aspects about her. Besides I believe celebrity woman are all hype. There are more interesting beautiful girls that are normal" he said making me get butterflies when he said the last bit. Why does he do this? an Why does he keep surprising me like this? Least I found out that I was right about being into blondes.
" so you go for Blondes than" I stated as I became interested In the conversation. As much as I hate to admit it, I did start to compare myself to Rosie inside my head even though he wasn't really interested in her.
" haha I don't know. I think a lot of blondes are misunderstood" he replied taking a sip out of his drink. It was surprising to hear Marshall say something like that, when majority of the groupies that they hang out with are blonde and fake, but I guess Raising three daughters and two of them being blonde hair, I think he sees how much people seem to judge you by the colour of your hair. I've been judged my whole life, they think we are either dumb or we are just complete tarts, but there are some out there that do have ambitions and goals they want to face, but keep getting shut down or overlooked for the colour of their hair or the way they look when they go out and wear Makeup.
" but what about you. What celebrity guy would your dream guy be look wise" he asked making me actually stop and think for a second. I know majority of women would choose Tom cruise or Brad Pitt but they never did anything for me.
" um Leonardo Di Caprio or Matt Damon" I replied laughing at the actual conversation we were having on our date. Marshall couldn't help but laugh as well when he heard my answer, obviously he knew who they were and thought it was a ridiculous answer. But who doesn't love Leonardo Di Caprio or Matt Damon, they are gorgeous and Smart and are very talented actors, I think that's one of the reason I became a fan, it was because I fell in love with the characters they played in movies.
" nice Alaina likes Matt Damon even though he is like my age" Marshall commented making me laugh even more, thinking about Alaina liking someone as old as her father was just kind of weird but knowing I did the exact same thing when I was her age.
We continued to sit and talk about random things like that, I even got him to admit that he collects comic Books. I could tell he was kind of embarrassed when he let it slip accidently, but I made sure he knew that I found it quite interesting and when matter of fact I did find it interesting, you see in Australia comics aren't as big as they are over here, so actually getting Marshall to explain what they are? and why they are worth so much over here made me understand quite a lot about books you really only heard about. Once again, It wasn't long before I started staring at him again without even noticing, but luckily he didn't try to brake contact or anything like that.
" Why do you keep staring at me, its like you go into another world" he said softly while gently pulling my hair back behind my ear out of my face. I was caught of guard with his question but after asking myself the same thing so many time I already knew the answer.
" I'm not staring, I am observing" I simply replied while continuing to look at each other in the eyes, even though he doesn't show emotions on his face, his eyes tell a different story. Through his eyes I see so much feelings and emotions wanting to escape and be shown.
" and what do you observe" he asked giving me a cheeky smirk. I knew he was going for the more flirtatious answer but this was one of my only chances to really try and get him to go deeper with his feelings, it was a chance to actually see the more vulnerable side to Marshall.
" honestly, A tough young Man, that has spent so many years not letting in anyone because he is afraid of getting hurt" I said slowly hoping he wouldn't flip, I knew it was a bug risk to say something like that but I have been thinking about it for a while now. He just stared at me for a few seconds before saying anything.
" what happens if this man has met someone that he feels he can open up too and let in. Should he? or is he only going to get hurt" he replied not once braking eye contact, the way he said it was like he was sad but he understood where I was coming from, like he knew he was like that.
" I guess they're going to have to open up a little bit and find out. Trust isn't words its action. So if this woman likes this man, which I think she does, she is going to help him as much as she cans but really in order to heal and learn from past mistakes, it's up to the guy" I said again slowly knowing Marshall could flip out at any minute, he has that personality that can change in seconds.
" Maybe your right" was all he said as he continued to stare at me. I didn't know if he was angry or upset, all I could tell was my words had an effect on him. but as I continued looking into his eyes, I could see the hurt as sadness and hated knowing I was the one who caused it. I think Marshall started sensing I knew what he was feeling because he broke eye contact and looked towards the tv.
We sat for a while in silence just watching tv but I know both of our minds were far away thinking about our last conversation. I know it might have been harsh but I was right, I can't change him in order for him to let me in he is going to have to move on from the past but only of he wants to, other wise he will always have trust issues.
" I'm going to go" I said getting up out of his grip. I could sense his coldness towards me, so obviously he was mad at me giving me no reason to stay.
" Okay, um can you text me to let me know you got home okay" he said as he followed me towards the entry where all my stuff was. Deep down inside I was hoping he would object and want me to stay but from the way he quickly agreed I guess I had out lived my welcome and the date was over.
" Sure, thanks again for dinner It was amazing! " I happily replied trying to put the best happy face to hide the hurt of being rejected. Even when I leant in and gave him a quick hug and kiss to show my appreciation, I still felt the hardness and coldness off his touch which I never felt before, the warmth that was usually there was gone between us. So I knew I had to quickly get out of the before I burst into tears.
Taking one last look at him before closing the door , I tried to memorize his touch and face knowing that it could have been our last night together as a couple. who knows with Marshall he could fully shut me out from now on because he doesn't want to admit the truth, so he might place his walls back up and get rid of something that could have been wonderful.