Christian
He was avoiding me and it hurt. It hurt so badly that I couldn't eat anymore, it was hard to sleep, this wasn't the first time and yet somehow it hurt even more than the last.
Two days had passed since the attack and things were tense. We lost ten of our own and it was a tragedy like no other.
The funerals were sad and there was a lot of crying and wailing. There was howling and it broke my heart, add to the fact that my own mate couldn't look at me.
I understood though, weirdly enough. I knew how scared he was, of himself and of what we thought of him, I just wish he knew that we are with him, even if he doesn't want us to be.
"I don't know how I let this happen. "Claude whispered to himself and I paused by the office.
"It wasn't your fault," Ace whispered gently. "You couldn't possibly have known this would happen."
"But I should have, "Claude's coice rose." I mean, what good is a Caster who specifically deals in seeing the future, and could not see this? "
"Don't say that, you know she tried. She can't always control what she sees or when she does."
"But she created the dome to keep us safe, so we'd always know what is going to happen. " There was a sigh.
"I get you're angry, but that doesn't mean you have to start pointing fingers. You aren't a Caster, so you have no right to say that it was her fault, she already blames herself." Claude growled.
"Ace... "
"No, Claude... Talk to me when you have your head out of your ass." I jumped as Ace came out, he paused and nodded at me before storming out.
"Do you think I'm wrong? " Claude asked me. I shrugged." It's my fault. "He sighed and I stepped into the office.
"I don't think there is anyone to blame besides that Alpha." I tilted my head, "Ex-Alpha, to be more accurate."
"I just... I don't know what to think... I've failed this pack. "He turned towards the window and bowed his head.
"You didn't fail us, Alpha." I spoke to him with compassion. "This was only an eye opener to be honest." I sighed and walked over to him. "Instead of blaming yourself, how about you look at this as a way to improve the pack." I suggested. "Have us back on patrol, we can keep the forcefield up if you want but we should always have a back up plan, because obviously, magic may have its advantages but it also has disadvantages just as with us."
He met my eye, his eyes sparkling with curiosity.
"You're right... We should also start doing more background checks. "He started for his computer and my brows rose and I shrugged. I clasped a hand over his shoulder and chuckled.
"Glad to have been helpful." I made my way out just as Ace came back in with a pout. I gave him an amused look and he stuck his tongue out at me.
"I want to have sex, Claude. "I choked on air and I couldn't help but laugh out loud as Claude growled.
"I'm busy." He said and I walked faster, not wanting to hear the rest of their conversation. Funny how moments before Ace didn't even want to talk to him.
I made my way down the corridor just as the door opened at the end and Xavier stepped out only to pause as he caught sight of me. I could heart his heart racing and his scent was thicker. I felt my excitement before I could control myself, I stepped closer and paused knowing I was wrong for it. Being ignored this long made it hard to not be impulsive.
I growled possessively and walked over. He ran inside but didn't shut the door. I walked inside, my eyes shifted to my wolfs eyes.
"Don't you have anything better to do? "He asked from across the room, staring out of a window that isn't always there.
"Not really..." I said walking towards him slowly. He sighed bowing his head.
"So what do you want? "He asked not turning to face me.
"To talk?" I said unsure and he turned towards me, not meeting my eye.
"About what? "I took a deep breath.
"I'm joining the army." I said softly and his eyes snapped up. Briefly, our eyes met and he looked away fast.
"Oh... "He said in a whisper. I had hoped to tell him sooner, or when things were good between us but that doesn't seem to be an option, doesn't seem like an actual possibility." That's... That's great... "He forced a smile. He cleared his throat." When do you leave? "He tried to hide it but I could smell the sadness, and the salt coming from his tears.
"After your birthday." He bit his lip.
"That's only a week away... "He looked up sadly." Why?" I shrugged and got closer, we were close enough to touch. His long lashes covered his cheeks ans he looked up at me through them.
"Thought a change would be nice." Then, he let it go, a single tear left his eye and he sniffed.
"I hope it's worth it. "He whispered to me. "I'll miss you." He admits.
"Really now." I question and a look of hurt crosses over his face.
"I know you probably hate me, and I wouldn't expect anything less, but, I do love you, Christian, I just... I just don't-" I took his hand in mine.
"Don't want to hurt me." I finished and he looked up at me.
"You saw what I did... How can you even want anyone like me? " His voice cracked." I brought...dead skeletons and made them fight... I disturbed their peace. "He continued to cry softly, the room lights dimmed.
"You were protecting the pack." he looked up sharply.
"At what cost though. "He touched his face, the large scar went passed his eye, starting at his forehead and down to his cheek.
"One that makes you even more beautiful." I complimented, enjoying the pink tint on his cheeks then he looked away, pulling away from me.
"Don't think I don't see the way they all look at me. "He said hugging himself." They hate me... They're afraid of me... I would be too. I am. " He held his hand up to himself, staring at it." How could something so small cause so much damage? "He whispered more to himself than anything.
"Uh...guys? We have a visitor." I turned to Jason, one of the pack members who lost his father.
"Who is it? "
"Hanna, and a little boy." He said biting his lip resentfully. "North border."
---------------
Xavier
At the mention of her name I couldn't help but scowl, the nerve she had, but honestly I was grateful, she provided me with a way out of talking further with Christian. The army, pfft. I shook my head trying not to think about it before pushing passed Christian.
"What do you think she wants? "He asked me as we walked down the stairs. I shrugged as bile threatened to fill my throat. I swallowed with a grimace.
"Help? Maybe?" Kathryn said. "I don't know, but only one way to find out." I stepped down and paused feeling nauseous and I coughed at a tickle in my throat. Christian walked around me as I covered my mouth with my hand.
"You okay? "He asked worriedly and I looked at my hand to find blood." Did you bit yourself? "He asked worriedly and I shook my head.
"No." I whispered and cleared my throat before swallowing the copper tasting blood.
"Mabye you should go to the infirmary, have them check you out."
"No! "I said panicked at the thought of a pack member looking at me." I'm fine. "I said sharply and looked at him pointedly while rubbing my hand on my pants and rubbing my lips of the blood."I'm fine." I pushed passed him then and walked out the front door.
The sun shone and the pack members were enjoying it, well, trying to. The atmosphere was still very depressing and I couldn't stand it. I quickened my pace into the woods. Hanna wouldn't be stupid enough to enter the territory.
I kept walking north, trying to ignore the tightening in my stomach and the remaining taste of blood in my mouth. I kept walking, enjoying the silence and the exclusivity. Finally I was away from the judgemental stares, the fearful glances and the 'I-don't-like-you' looks. Soon enough I was at the border, Hanna was in jean shorts, and a green tank top and her candy floss pink hair was tied back in a ponytail. She had her horse beside her and a little boy, no older than 8 stood beside her. He was...unnaturally beautiful, it was weird. He had such an extraordinary beauty.
He had beach blonde hair and startling grassy green eyes, they were bright and wide and beautiful. I was hypnotised. He hid behind his sister. I shook my head to rid myself of whatever he has going on.
"What are you doing here? " I asked her stiffly.
"Hello to you too, Xavier." She looked surprisingly healthy and her eyes shone brightly, she looked happy.
"I don't have time for any chit chat, Claude will be here soon." I told her.
"He's already here, actually." I turned and sure enough there he was, shirtless and angry.
"What do you want? "He growled out, warriors emerged feom the trees and I sighed.
"I only came to apologise." She said softly. "I never meant for anyone to get hurt and I just wanted to make things right." Claude growled harshly.
"Your apology won't bring back the lives we've lost. "her eyes saddened.
"I know, but, I wanted to atleast try." Then she turned her eyes to me. "I've spent ten years alone with my brother, in them, never have I met anyone like me." I wrapped my arm around my elbow. "I just... Don't want to be alone forever, and I know that I nearly killed your family, but it was so I could save the only one I had left." She pulled her brother from behind her. "Henry was all I ever had and he's so young, I couldn't not try to get him free."
"Did it ever occur to you that he wouldn't have given him back." She bit her lip.
"It did, but, love is a powerful thing... It makes us do stupid things sometimes." she said fondly yet sadly. "I just wanted you to know that...you will most probably see me around, the council settled us not too far from here... And I hope we can be friends."
I might be an idiot, maybe just desperate, but I needed more people like me around, those who understand what it's like to be alone, what it's like to be doubted because of magic darker than they realise. I stepped forward then.
"The way I see it, we aren't so different. "I told her." They won't ever forgive you, or have any trust in you, but I...."I let out a sigh, "I can't help but want to know more of you." she smiled then with a nod. "I do have one question though."
She looked back at me and her eyes sparkles as though she understood. "The Alpha saw you as the biggest threat." She offered me a soft weak smile. "Isolation makes you vigilant as much as paranoid. He somehow knew you'd be a piece to clip his plan of its wings."
I watched her tighten her grip on her brother's hand and understood. The pack was as strong as it's weakest link and to that Alpha I was the weakest and thus the biggest threat simply because I wasn't so involved. I would be the last one standing just because they overlooked me.
Now that I didn't wanna be alone, would that still be true?
A\N
20 December 2016
3 November 2012