Jamie's pov
I listen in as they talk, Nicholas and the man that wants to steal my pup. How dare he invite him here?! How dare they discuss my pup like he's a piece of property?! I hurry back to my room, locking the door and placing one of the desk chairs under the knob. I know it won't keep them out for long, but it will give me time to put the desperate and dangerous plan I've been working on for the past few weeks into practice. I take out a piece of paper and quickly write down my feelings, all of my anger, hurt, and betrayal pour out with my words and pretty soon the ink is smeared with the tears sliding down my cheeks. Standing, I make my way over to the closet, grabbing the two bottles I'd been hiding there and return to my seat, studying them. One is a bottle of sleeping pills I stole from the pack doctor during Desmond's checkup a few weeks ago and the other is a bottle of vodka I somehow managed to convince Nicholas to let me have after my regular visit to his room yesterday. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath to steel myself and waited until I heard footsteps coming down the hall, swallowing two handfuls of the pills and draining the bottle of alcohol before calmly waiting for the mixture to take effect.
"Open the door, Luna, Alpha Timothy wants to see the Omega before he takes it."
I'm usually terrified at the sound of Quinn's voice, but this time, I feel completely numb as I listen to him twisting the knob. He slams against the door as a wave of nausea hits me and I clutch my stomach, fighting to keep the pills down. Quinn continues to throw his full weight against the door, but it sounds farther and farther away from me as I start to feel lightheaded. I lose my balance and with a shaky hand, I grab the letter right before I fall from the chair. The door final lly gives way and Quinn catches me before I hit the ground.
"What did you do?!"
My mouth opens and closes, but no sound comes out and I struggle to escape Quinn's hold.
"Don't move you idiot!"
Quinn quickly races out of the room with me just as my eyes slip closed and everything goes black.
My eyes flew open and I found a beautiful woman standing over me, staring down at me with the saddest expression I've ever seen.
"Why? Jamie why did you do this?"
"W-Who are you?"
"That's not important, you could have killed yourself!"
"Maybe . . . Maybe it would be better that way. I have noone to turn to, noone that cares about me. I want to be free. "
The woman's sad expression became angry at my words and I had to force myself not to flinch away from her.
"And what would be the cost of your freedom? Who do you think will be left to suffer in your place? Just who do you think is going to be blamed?"
My eyes widened in sudden terrible comprehension.
"Desmond."
"That's right, if you give up, the pup you're trying so hard to protect will take your place."
"Why? Why won't the Moon Goddess do something to stop all this suffering? If she's such a kind and loving mother, why is she allowing all of this to happen?!"
"The Moon Goddess can only set her children on their path, it's up to them to follow it. If they decide on a whim to alter their destiny then she has to stand back and watch how it plays out."
"Then it doesn't matter to her that I've been raped and tortured by my own sire? That I was forced to bear and be separated from his pups?! I . . . I'm only thirteen years old, I'm barely a pup myself and now__________."
The woman placed her hand on my shoulder and I looked up at her with tears in my eyes.
"I know it's hard Jamie and I know you're suffering but everything will get better, I promise."
"How do you . . . are you the Moon Goddess?"
The woman smiled and I felt like she was seeing something I couldn't see.
"I will bring back what you've lost and will take away your enemies, but you must promise me that you will never do this again. If you die, Jamie, your son will never survive to find his mate."
Swallowing, I nodded my head, a tiny flicker of hope slowly filling me. I would survive for my pups and the promise of the future happiness I saw in the Moon Goddess's eyes.
Nicholas's pov
I was getting impatient, where was Quinn with that stupid Omega? Alpha Timothy cleared his throat and I forced a smile onto my lips as I tuned in to what he was saying.
"If there's a problem, I can return at another time."
"No, I'll be back, just wait here."
Alpha Timothy nodded and I quickly stood, making my way down the hall before he could sense my anger, running into Quinn on my way to Jamie's room.
"What's going on, where's the Omega?!"
"Alpha Nicholas, forget the Omega . . . something's happened with your mate."
"What do you mean? "
He pointed in the direction of the pack hospital and I nodded, following without asking any more questions. What foolishness had my mate done this time? As soon as we reached the door of the pack hospital, he reached into his pocket, pulling out a letter and placing it into my hand before walking away. Feeling uneasy, I made my way into the room, my entire body freezing as my eyes landed on the tiny, frail body of my mate . . . my son laying so still and silent on the bed and I realized how much I screwed up . . . I had raped my own child and forced him to bear my pups . . . I had stolen any happiness his future would have held. My thoughts were cut off by the pack doctor making his way over to me.
"He will be fine Alpha. If he had been a human, there would have been nothing I could do, it's fortunate that his wolf is so strong."
"How long will it take for him to wake up?"
"I'm not sure Alpha, he could wake up tomorrow or it could be weeks . . . I believe that he would wake up sooner if he had something to wake up for."
I nodded distractedly and a few minutes later the doctor walked out of the room, leaving me alone with Jamie. Collapsing into the chair next to his bed, I forced myself to focus my attention on the letter.
Nicholas,
You claim that everything you've done to me is out of love, but you don't even know what love is. You don't rape and beat the one you love . . . you don't let others beat and rape the one you love, I want my life back! You don't . . . I don't want to be afraid anymore! I don't want to be humiliated anymore! I trusted you, I believed you would protect me as my sire, but instead you broke me and left me unable to trust my own heart. If everyone blames me for their Luna's death, why didn't you have me sent away or killed?! Did you need to torture me further by making me the Luna of a pack that despises me?! I would prefer to be dead than to suffer one more day and if you take Desmond away from me I will make sure that I don't live long enough for you to regret it! You are a cold and selfish man and I refuse to let you take anything else away from me.
The despised Luna of the
North Star Pack,
Jamie
Growling, I crumpled the letter into a ball and threw it away. Why doesn't he understand?! Everything I do is to keep him near me! Even if he comes to hate me, even if it breaks him beyond all repair I will never let him go and as for that stupid Omega. . . I growled again, as I stood on my feet, stalking to Jamie's room and snatching up the Omega before making my way back to the pack hospital and placed it next to him on the small bed.
"Since you're willing to go this far, I'll allow you to keep your precious Omega, Jamie."
Taking one last look at my mate, I headed back to my office, placing a false smile on my face before walking inside.
"Alpha Timothy, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I won't be able to let you take the Omega after all . . . his mother is too attached to him."
Nodding in understanding, Alpha Timothy stood up shaking my hand.
"Of course, I would never want to cause harm to a mother and child."
"Thanks for understanding. We can discuss a marriage contract when the Omega comes of age."
Of course."
Explaining that he had another appointment Alpha Timothy took his leave and I let the smile fall from my lips, linking with Quinn.
"What's wrong Alpha? Is your mate ___________?"
"I've come to a decision . . . when Jamie wakes up, I want you to train him."
"Train him . . . are you sure that's a good idea? He could try to escape."
"No, Jamie will never leave as long as I have his pups. I want him to find his place in the pack. I . . . I want him to be happy here."
Quinn stared at me in shock and I quickly dismissed him. I know he thinks I'm going soft, that I feel regret about how I've been treating my mate and . . . maybe a small part of me does, but that's not why I've made this decision . . . if Jamie becomes able to stand up for himself and finds a place to belong, he'll never have a reason to leave and I need that because I just can't let him go no matter the cost.