"Niall, I think we were just fucked with," I mumble to him after staring at the girl.
"Yeah, I think you're right," he agrees with me. "And we can't even get revenge."
I repeat, absentmindedly, "We can't even get revenge."
Two days earlier...
"Niall, I hate to be the Bearer of Bad News, actually, I don't really mind, but you're not as cute as you say," I told him as I walked into his bunk as he was just waking up. Niall looked at me with lazy eyes, but said nothing. "Look." I held a hand mirror up to his face and looked away, to be dramatic. I heard Niall gasp believably and look at his refection. This caused me to turn to Niall. He was touching his face and playing with his hair as he looked in the mirror with pure horror on his face.
"Where's the adorable Niall Horan I know?" he whispered to himself. I tried not to break out in laughter as I watched him play the part. "He's...he's..."
"Dead?" I offered. Niall looked at me with pure horror in his eyes and I laughed at his reaction. The look on his face was absolutely priceless and there was no replacing it...ever. He didn't even break character when I started laughing; he just started mumbling to himself while tugging and pulling on his face like that was going to make him more attractive. I put the mirror down after my laughter stopped and inquired, "What are we doing today?"
"Honestly, I don't know," Niall admitted, "It's our day off; you've already practiced lines with me and Lou so I think you're good with that. We can do whatever we want."
"Too bad we don't know what that is." Niall agreed with me by nodding and joining me on the bed. I wasn't sure where Harry was, Louis left to talk to Eleanor on the phone and Liam was having some 'me time' (as he called it) in the bathroom (he was obviously taking a huge shit). Niall and I were just playing in the hotel room we shared and Zayn said he was off on a date.
Believe me, I was happy with Harry and I was also happy that Zayn was moving on to other girls, but I couldn't help but feel a little jealous. Sure, I had just witnessed Zayn wake up with my friend Katerina in his arms (we all know what happened there) after I introduced him the night before, but she was my friend and I was totally okay with them being together. It was him with another girl I didn't know that bothered me. I rejected him so I really had no right to be jealous that Zayn was going on a date but you can't help feelings, can you? You can't just turn off the 'feelings-for-your-ex-best-friend-who-tortured-you-when-you-were-both-young-then-as-adults-confessed-his-love-for-you' switch? Because if you can, please enlighten me.
"We can just play or something? You know, some kind of game?" I suggested. Truly, I just pulled that out of my ass last minute, but Niall looked like he was getting bored enough to leave me and I didn't want to be alone.
"Like what?"
"I don't know," I sighed, sitting down on the opposite bunk bed. I put the mirror down beside me while I looked up at the ceiling and thought. "Maybe we could just run around the city doing shit, or something?" I suggested. Niall looked like he was thinking of the idea.
Niall got up from the bed as he agreed, "Alright. We run around the city all day because we honestly have nothing better to do."
As he got his clothes on, I started to talk, "It use to be great when I had a day off, but now I have no idea what to do really. I mean, I'd probably do something with Harry, but he's off in Wonderland. Left early this morning and no one can find him. So it's just me and you."
"Oh! I heard of this place called Elitch Gardens. Apparently it has these rides and games that you can do. That's something," Niall said and I nodded with a smile. At least it was something to do. And who better to go with on scary coasters than the one lepurchaun everyone loves? I hooked my arm with his as we walked out of the bunk area.
"Then off we go," I replied. Niall went on towards the door while I stopped at the bathroom door. "Liam, I know you're shitting in there, so I'll just say that Niall and I are ditching you. Have a good day."
I didn't wait to listen to Liam's reply before I pulled Niall out of the tour bus. My tour bus was ready for me to actually ride in, but I decided I didn't want to be alone all the time, and my boyfriend was in the other bus, so might as well stay with the boys. The press had a fucking field day when they found out I was staying with the boys. Some called me a whore, some said I was looking for attention. Some said I was just the girl who pleased all of One Direction. But it didn't matter what they had to say because there is only six people who can hurt me. One Direction and my mother. Only since I'm so close to them and their opinions matter to me. Now that I was out with Niall, they were going to think that I was cheating on Harry with his own bandmate, which was bullshit, but Harry and I didn't even need to talk about it. Harry knew I loved him. No matter what, I knew I wasn't cheating on Harry, Harry knew I wasn't cheating on him so paparazzi could suck it.
We slowly walked off the parked bus and started walking towards the nearest building which just happened to be a Target. Niall probably wasn't sure why we were going to a Target, but I knew that we needed tickets and a ride. So call a taxi from the Target and ask if we buy tickets there or if we coudl just buy it here.
I hoped that when we got in the Target that we weren't going to get swarmed with fans. There are many places we could go where fans aren't all up in our faces, but those places probably weren't going to be in California. If we wanted to have peace, we needed to go to Colorado or Kanas, somewhere quiet if we wanted to walk out without having the fans asking us to sign something. But surprsingly, we didn't get stopped much. Yeah, a few times, but the fans didn't scream and bring attention like they usually did.
"Excuse me, can we use your phone?" I asked when we got to the Customer Service desk. The girl behind the desk looked young and bored like she did't care. She was staring at her nails, so she hadn't seen who I was.
"Don't you have a cell phone?" she replied boredly.
"I would use it, but I also wanted to ask you what the taxi service's number is. You see, my friend Niall and I want to get to Eliches." Once I said Niall, her head shot up and her eyes went wide. I knew that we were going to get the same reaction we got out of everyone.
"You're...you're..." she started stuttering, "Oh, my god... I can't believe...that you're...Natalie Tatar and Niall Horan. I'm gonna die!" I wanted to roll my eyes at her. I never understood why people thought I was so amazing. Sure, talented, beautiful, but also insecure and heartless. I'm not that great of a person, Zayn can tell you that.
"Please don't. I still need to know that phone number." Just like that, the girl regained her composure and put on a smile. She looked like a real pro talking to us, like she knew what she was doing.
"Sure, yeah! You can use my phone." She picked up the phone from behind the desk, dialed something and then put it to her ear. I guess she was dialing the number for us and ordering the cabbie for us. I wasn't expecting that, but it was definitely a bonus. I still had to figure out where we were. "Hello, yes. I need a cab. At the downtown Target. For Ms. Tatar. Thank you."
It was that easy. The girl hung up after those few words and then turned to us with a smile. I wasn't one to order cabs; I usually was just on the street and hailed them down, or I already had one waiting for me, so I didn't know what to expect when ordering them. It's not like it seemed hard, but not just that easy.
"One more question," I added, putting on an innocent smile. "Can we buy tickets at Eliches or can we buy them here?"
She smiled. "You can buy the season pass here. The indivisual tickets for one day is only bought there, but the season pass can be bought here. Along with at the desk too there. Do you want a season pass?"
I shook my head. "No, thank you," I denied. I leaned off the counter and waved to her. "Goodbye."
"Wait!" she called after we got a few feet away. I turned around just to hear her say, "I would like you to sign something, if that's alright."
Almost sighing, I walked back to the girl. I had to have a false smile; as much as I hate signing everything, they're my fans. They make me happy, so I want to make them happy. Even if it means pictures, signings or just a talk. I want to do everything to make them happy. The girl, Lanie, from her nametag, shoved a pen in my hand and started searching for something I could use to write with. Once she finally found a blank piece of paper, she slid it on the counter.
"Could you make it out to my sister? It's her birthday, and I really want to get her something she loves before it's time," Lanie told me, pleading.
"Before what?"
She took in a breath like she was close to cryiing. Closing her eyes, she slowly inhaled and exhaled a few times. "Well, she was kidnapped, and attacked, and the doctors say she doesn't have much time. They did everything they could, but they said they just can't save her. So I'm working extra shifts to get her something before it's her time. And you showing up just makes it better."
Her story kind of made my heart clench, but she was still just a fan. They all probably had sad sob stories. I still needed to get use to that. After hearing that, I decided that I would accept as many private shows requests as I could before those people ran out of time. I always thought that just seeing them was enough and that I could do it all at once, but some people deserved one on one time. Just like Lanie's little sister. Hopefully she was a trooper.
"You know, I just met my little sister," I informed Lanie. She tilted her head like she didn't know why I was telling her this. I wasn't sure why I was telling her. "I didn't know her, but I finally met her. And she is just perfection. I would do anything for her, even if I don't know her. So what's her name? What room is she in of what hospital? I want to see her."
Lanie stared at me for a second. Then she laughed. And then she just stared again. "You really want to see Carmen?"
"Is that her name? Of course I want to see Carmen."
Lanie laughed. "Yes! She'd just absolutely love that. She loves you. Like completely adores you so much. I'd love for you to come visit her. I was planning on buying her a laptop so she could complete her dreams of song writing, but..." Lanie's voice trailed off. "I don't have much. Can I pay you what I have and then pay you the rest later?"
"Lanie..." I warned and she sighed.
"I know. You like the money up front. But just this once? I really don't have the money...not all of it at least. With all her medicine and the hospital bills, we can barely afford anything these days. I have to work this extra job and a few others to save up for the laptop."
I scoffed and shook my head. Lanie's face fell even more. "I can't believe that you think that you have to pay me. I'll do it for free. I want to meet Carmen and I most certainly don't want to do it for money. Lanie, the only thing I want from you is the hospital, the room she's in and your phone number. I don't want any money."
And Lanie's face lit up like a Christmas tree. She was so excited. "Thank you so much! You have no idea how much this would mean to her! How much it means to me...! I really needed this. I really need to see her smile. Like, a genuine smile because recently they've been forced. I want to see the look on her face when you walk in. Thank you. Thank you."
I felt a hand on my back. "The cab's here," I heard Niall's voice whisper into my ear.
"I'm sorry Lanie, but I have to go. Tell Carmen I'll see her soon. Write down your phone number." I slid the pen and paper over to Lanie, who is still freaking out.
"Thank you." She wrote her phone number on the corner, ripped it off and then gave it to me. "You are just a perfect person, you know that?"
"It takes one to know one." I winked at Lanie before walking away with Niall. The whole way to the cab I was smiling.
Once we got in the cab and told the cabbie where we were going, Niall asked me a question. "She didn't look at me once. She really did like you. Did you mean what you said? Do you actually want to meet this girl's sister?"
I looked at Niall confused. "Of course. Why would I say I would and I don't?"
"Because that's what some people do. They lie," Niall replied. "Why do you want to do this? What makes that little girl different from all the others?"
I thought for a second before responding, "Because I know what it feels like to get hurt by someone. I want to create as many smiles as I can."
****
"I am NOT going on that," I denied, looking up at the tall ride. Niall wanted to ride on something that shouldn't even be legal. I had seen people get off that ride, and they didn't look healthy. Like looked like they had just accquired cancer from that ride. And Niall told me he wasn't the biggest fan of rides hat make you look like you just got cancer. He liked it when it went out through the butt and not up the mouth.
He whined, "Why?"
"Because I don't want to join Carmen in the hospital."
"Who?"
"It doesn't matter. I'm not going on that," I snapped at him, walking away from the ride. Niall followed me, but hanging on my arm, pulling it to go back. He whined, made sounds that I didn't know where even sounds and stomped his foot a lot. And I mean A LOT.
"Niall, stop. You are acting like a four year old."
He crossed his arms with his cheeks puffed out. "I want to go on the Tower of Doom."
"And I want to marry Harry, but we don't always get what we want, now do we?"
His frown turned upside down in a smug smile. "You want to become Mrs. Styles?" Shit, did I say that out loud.
I looked around the park to see if anyone was watching (they were; multiple people) before pushing Niall into a corner. "You better not say anything to Harry or I will make lepurchaun soup and not think twice about it. Say a word about anything and the next thing I'll become is a cannibal."
I left Niall there to comprehend what had just happened. I saw cotton candy. I had to get it. So while Niall was trying not to shit his pants, I was enjoying the sweet taste of the candy that had been turned into cotton. After finishing my cotton candy, I walked back over to Niall, who was still in the corner trying to understand my threat. I had to remember, he was a blonde (dyed hair or not).
"I won't say anything," Niall told me with a fake smile. I shot him one more warning look before putting on a smile. "Now can we please go on the Tower of Doom."
I rolled my eyes at Niall. Of course he still wanted to go on that shitty ride. I still wasn't sure what was so interesting about that. You just got to go up slowly 100 feet and then drop down like a bird out of they sky, making your tummy come become nothing and your blatter fly up to your throat to choke you. And give you cancer.
"Please Natalie. I don't think I'll ever get this oppurtunity again to do this. I really want to have fun today before we have to go back to the bus and sing and work. I just need a distraction."
The speech wasn't the thing that won me over. It was the look Niall gave me. He looked so adorable, it was criminal. Now I loved Harry, and Zayn really was my first love. But if I had to pick anyone else in the band, it would be Louis. But Niall was next after that. He had the cutest little face, little body and personality. He was the kind of person you just wanted to squeeze his cheeks and say, "You're so cute. I just want to eat you up!" And say it like you're talking to a baby. Niall just has that effect on people. He has that effect on me. So I had to say yes.
"Fucking fine," I mumbled angrily and Niall cheered. He wasted no time at all. My arm was grabbed by his hand and I was dragged to the line. A few people let us go in front of them, but we still had to wait a few minutes for the actual ride. When we got to the front, that's when I started to worry. What if my seat was dysfunctional? What if the seat belt let me go? I could die! I could fucking die! MOTHERFUCKING DIE.
Just like Niall could read my mind, he said, "You're not going to die."
"You two! Up next." The man had us step forward, along with a few other people to wait for the seat thing. I listened to the screams of the people in front of us drop down on the ride. Screams of pure terror. I didn't want to be terrified.
"Niall, maybe you should go without me," I suggested, whispering into his ear. He shook his head with a smile.
"You're going with me," Niall insisted. I shook my head while Niall nodded his head. This went on for a while until the man said that we needed to get on the ride. I realized that the other people had already gotten off and there was two seats waiting for us.
"Niall, I don't think I can do this."
"Natalie, I'm right here with you. Don't be afraid." Niall took my hand and pulled me to the seats. The straps were pretty self explaintory, but the man explained just in case. Once we were all in, the ride lurched forward and we were going up. "Natalie, it's okay." Somehow, his hand found mine and I held on to his hand like I was about to die. I possibly was. We reached the top and stopped for a second. I took in a breath.
It all happened so quick. I wasn't sure what happened. All I heard were screams, and I lost Niall's hand. I felt a lot of air fly on my face and I was forced to close my eyes. It felt like my heart skipped a long beat and my stomach flipped like a pancake.My lungs lost air, and the air was too fast to catch. My butt just barely left the seat, but it was quickly touching the seat again. My hair wasn't touching my face, but then it suddenly was. And all of this happeened in a second. When I finally realized what just happened, my heart started beating again, my lungs could breathe and my stomach was still. I had just taken a ride on the Tower of Doom.
"Natalie, Natalie," I heard someone calling my name. It sounded distant, but I could see Niall's lips moving right next to me. He looked like he was as happy as a boy on Christmas. He looked excited. "Do you want to do it again?"
At those words, my stomach stopped feeling okay. I felt like my breatfast, my small lunch and the cotton candy I recent ate was about to come back up. While everyone else was finding their way out, I just sat there with a queasy look on my face. Niall got out of his seat, and helped me out of mine. I limped my way to the bathroom, Niall holding me up. I felt like I needed to empty out my stomach so it would stop hurting.
"I'm guessing you don't want to go back," the distant voice said. I nodded, or did what I think was nodding.
After a while, the voice suggested, "We can go back to the bus?"
"Great," I said. I made the big mistake of opening my mouth too soon. That cotton candy came up.
And I fainted.
****
I woke up on a soft mattress with a pillow under my head. Lights were on, people were talking and I was touching someone. Or they were touch me, rather. My feet were being gently massaged by someone who's hands felt a lot like Harry's. (He has big, yet soft hands. I remember how they feel, don't think I'm weird.) I assumed it was his.
My vision started to clear up and I realized I was in the living room of the bus. Niall probably took me home and I stayed asleep. Just peachy. Harry must have come back from whatever he was doing before to find his girlfriend passed out on the couch.
"I think she's awake," someone said, causing everyone to look at me.
"I am awake," was my reply. I propped myself up with my elbows to look at everything around me. Harry was massaging my feet, Liam was sitting across from him, Zayn was standing with....a girl?...and Lous and Niall were no where in sight. "What's going on?"
Zayn had a girlfriend? Is this jealousy? No, no, no! I'm with Harry. I can't feel this way. I love Harry. I really do. But do I still have feelings for Zayn? No, he ruined his chance. He had it and he ruined it. I'm with Harry now and I have to be fully dedicated. There is no way I'm cheating on the one good thing in my life. But Zayn having a girlfriend? It can't be. She's probably someone Louis picked up. But Louis has a girlfriend. So someone Liam picked up. Liam's not that kind of guy. Harry? Wait, he has me. Niall was stuck with me all day. As selfish as it is, I'm kind of wishing that Zayn would still be in love with me.
"You threw up on Niall. He brought you back. And now he's in the shower getting all of the vomit washed off," Liam explained to me. "I heard you went on the Tower of Doom."
"Yeah, never again. Who's the chick?"
"That's Crystal. Zayn's girlfriend."