You Again

Chapter 18

My first instinct is to yell his name, as if that's going to make him come back. Then I stand up to run after him, but Harry takes me hand. I look down at him; his eyes are big, his mouth is a little open, and he looks ready to cry. I want to tell him that I love him and just run away, but then I remember Zayn. I remember the way he looked when he stormed off; the pain in his eyes. I need to tell Zayn that I love him and that it's all going to be okay.

"I have to do this," I whisper, "for the sake of our friendship." Harry's face falls. I don't want him to think that I'm picking Zayn over him. As much as I love Zayn, I'd never ever pick him over my one true love. "I love you."

Then I run after him. Bursting out of the restaurant, I find Zayn walking down the street very angrily, catching the paparazzi's eyes. They run forward, trying to get pictures of Zayn and me, but I ignore them. The only thing on my mind is making sure Zayn's okay. Scratch that. Honestly, I know Zayn will never be okay with me marrying Harry. I know that he'd be okay with me marrying some guy from New York, but Harry Styles is not the ideal husband for me in his eyes. He either wants it to be him or none of his band mates. But I have to at least try and make him see that I'm happy.

"Zayn Malik, stop right now!" I yell out, even though I know he won't stop. He just needs to know I'm here, running after him.

He gets to his car, hops in the driver's seat (which is on the left side?; Americans are so weird), and turns on the engine. I make it just in time to open the passenger side and get in. Zayn gives me a look that only means he's fed up with the world and he's not afraid to shoot someone.

"Get out," he demands in a low voice. I know now that I'm treading on thin ice; I can't say the wrong thing or he'll drive us off a cliff.

"Zayn, you need to listen to me. I need you to listen to me. I'm happy with Harry. He makes me smile, and if you love me, then you'd be okay with that."

"It's because I'm in love with you that I'm not okay with it!" Zayn screams. "I want to be the one you're sitting next to. I want to be the one that makes you happy. I want to be the one who can kiss you whenever I feel like it. Because I love you."

"I love you too, dumbass," I retort, "and that's why I want you to be happy. But it can't be with me. It has to be with someone else. I want you to be smiling and laughing with a girl that will love you back unconditionally, but I can't be her. I can't be the one you can kiss whenever you want. You had your chance, Zayn." The tears start to well up in my eyes as I think of the times I admitted to him that I loved him. "I told you how I felt and you rejected me cold. I just happened to move on. And now I'm asking you, as a friend, to be happy for me, because you had a chance to be happy with me, and you threw it away. Please, Zayn. This is all I ask of you; be happy for me. You don't have to be okay with it and I'm not asking you to be, but please congratulate me and tell me that you're happy, even if you're lying."

A tear falls from Zayn's eyes. I make a move that makes me question if I really just love him as a friend. I wipe away his tears for him. My hand barely fits on his cheeks, but in some way, it's perfect. We stare into each other's eyes for a while, just thinking about each other. My heart swells up as if I'm getting a love injection, nearly popping in my chest.

Then I remember Harry. I remember his sweet, raspy voice; his curly hair; his plump lips; his electric smile; his cute, little nose; his big hands that fit over mine perfectly; his dimples; the way he looks at me like I'm the only person he'll ever see; the girl that he's loved forever. And I admire the way he always figures out a way to fix all my problems, or he just kisses my tears away. Harry is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

I break the eye contact and look down at my hands playing with each other. "Please, just be happy for me."

He sighs and takes my hand. "I'm not happy but for you, I'll be happy."