It was now Saturday, I had sent the letter yesterday, and it was 12:00 in the afternoon, and I still haven't gotten a reply. I was starting to worry more and more about my mother. I was staring out the window of my common room, looking down upon the black lake, watching my fellow students head up to the castle for lunch. I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist, and I leaned into the strong chest that I knew would be waiting behind me. "What are you thinking so hard about?" I heard him ask quietly, as he brushed hairs away from my neck so Scorpius could tuck his chin in between there. "How long do you think a body can withhold itself, before deteriorating?" I asked simply. "Um, I have no idea, why are you thinking of that?" I could hear how mortified he sounded.
"Well, it's been practically two weeks.. And I still have no idea when the funeral is. My mother still hasn't responded to my letter, and Harry refuses to tell me anything-" I felt his arms leave my waist and grasp my shoulders, cutting me off. He spun me around, and looked into my eyes thoughtfully. "Rose, you need to relax." He said, rubbing my arms gently. I shook my head, and tried to turn away, but he sighed heavily, and turned me back towards him. "Remember that time you almost died?" He said bluntly. I scoffed and rolled my eyes, "which time are you referring to, exactly?", he smiled, "the one where you were out for a week, and practically died in my arms. Where we had to get you back to Hogwarts, with your, at what we thought at the time, was your dead body, and it was only confirmed after an hour of waiting, that you weren't dead but in critical condition." He said darkly, his eyes becoming darker with the memory. I flushed, "yes.." I whispered, avoiding his eyes. "My entire world shattered that night. I didn't have a father, a mother, or you. I had no one. I had already lost everything, and then I thought I lost you. Losing the love of your life, will make you want to kill yourself before you dare have to live a life without the one you love. But I got you back. You just have to give your mom time.. She can't just end it, because she has you and Hugo, she hasn't lost everything, but she lost something very close to it. Just give her time, she is still probably trying to understand everything.." He whispered finally, my eyes were leaking tears, and I was still hiding my face. The pain of losing my father comes and goes, and Scorpius bringing up everything brought all my emotions back.
He lifted my face, and stared into my eyes. "It will be okay, I promise, just give everything time to heal." I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head in his chest, closing my eyes. I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself. And then we heard our door open, I lifted my head to see the head mistress standing in the doorway. I let go of Scorpius and cleared my throat. "Yes head mistress?" I asked. She didn't say anything, but looked very concerned. She looked awkwardly to her left, and stepped away, and in entered my mother..
"We need to go to the Head mistresses office, cause all of your cousins and Hugo need to be here to find out when the funeral is." She whispered, her eyes not meeting mine. I don't quite know what I was feeling. Everything was so quiet, and my heart was pounding so slow, yet so loud. I felt Scorpius grab my hand, but all I could do is stare at my mother. Her hair was even more disheveled than usual.. and I couldn't see her face, and frankly I don't know if I do want to see her face. I don't want to see her pain. It is my fault she is even in this pain.. I am the one who couldn't stay out of trouble, it's my fault dad isn't coming back..
I heard Scorpius cough behind me, "Rose.. come on, you gotta go." He whispered gently. "Are you coming with..?" I whispered, suddenly terrified to hear the answer that would make my fathers death completely real.. "No I think this is a time for you and your family to be together, I'll go visit my father, meet me by the lake when you're done." He kissed my cheek, and squeezed my hand tightly. I began to walk out of the common room, suddenly feeling very vulnerable. I followed my mother and the head mistress down to the office, and when we opened the large door, I saw all of my fellow cousins who attend the school with me, and Hugo. Lily and Albus were standing with Hugo, who looked very stiff, his fists clenched. Lily had her head resting on Al's shoulder, her red hair draped across her face, probably as to hide her true emotions about the situation. And all the other red heads scattered in the room were huddled together with their siblings, just waiting.
My mother stood in the front of the room, scanning all of the faces she had to tell. She looked terrified. I could finally see her face now. Her eyes looked puffy, her nose was red, and her lips continued to tremble. "Uh-m- you see.. the- the fu-" and then she began to cough. Or sob? She composed herself immediately, and dropped her face once again, I could see her breathing hard, trying to find the voice to say it out loud. I walked up to her, and held her hand. I heard her draw in a quick breathe. Everyone was now staring at her with worried eyes, they had never seen this side of her, the side where she hides her tears, the side where she truly looked like she was falling apart. Then I saw Hugo walk up, and grab moms other hand. Our mother lifted her head shakily up, to see her children standing by her side. "It's okay.." I whispered. I heard her choke down the sobs, and take a deep breath, she lifted her head once more, eyes shut.
My heart was still beating slowly but loudly. "The funeral.. is tomorrow." She whispered. Me and Hugo looked at one another. Tomorrow.. that was the answer.. I turned my eyes to Albus, who was staring shocked back at me. His eyes looked so apologetic. And Lily had a hand over her mouth now, head hanging down. "You will all be leaving the school tonight, by floo network.. and it will be held at our cottage, by the lake.. I think he'd like that.." she whispered once again, so softly we all had to strain our ears to hear. I looked around the room, trying find what emotions every one else was feeling, I saw tears, and I saw hugging, and holding hands, and one another trying to comfort each other. But Hugo and I could only stare at each other. I am pretty sure he also, could not decide how to feel. Angry, sad, heart broken, scared, vulnerable... So many things to feel with not enough room in the heart. My mother shook her head, "you should all probably go pack. You will be staying at the burrow tonight, and will arrive at our cottage tomorrow evening.." And then she turned around, facing a large window, releasing her children's hands. She had her arms wrapped tightly around herself, her eyes looking at the sky. As everyone else slowly left the room, Hugo and I stayed. "I'm sorry mom.." I whispered. She shook her head, "no there is nothing for you to be sorry for." Hugo and I shared a glance, then looked back at our mother.
"There is also nothing for you to feel sorry for." Hugo whispered softly. Our mother stiffened at his words. So she blamed herself.. "it's complicated, Hugo." She said softly, as if explaining it to a child. She sniffled loudly and pulled away from us gently, "now um- you two better go get ready, we leave in three hours." She said stiffly. And then she left the head mistresses office very quickly, and we could hear voices outside the door. "I guess we better go get it done." Hugo sighed heavily. "You should ask Erin to come. I'm sure dad would have wanted you to have your support system there." I said quietly. He nodded his head, and then we left the office together, passing the head mistress and our mother awkwardly. Hugo and I parted ways, and I began to walk quickly to the black lake.
When I arrived, Scorpius was already there, sitting under the tree. It was cold and windy, and leaves scattered the ground and crunched under my feet. The sky was grey with clouds, darkening the scene that would become so beautiful in the spring. He was staring very intently at the lake, deep in thought, head rested gently on his hand. "Now who's doing the deep thinking?" I asked quietly, plopping down on the ground next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. "My father has trial in a week." He whispered. My eyes widened, and I left the comfort of his shoulder to stare into his silver eyes. He nodded his head, and continued to stare at the lake. His eyes had clouded over. "Yeah- Harry says that the ministry isn't taking any chances this time. And that uh- it doesn't look good." He whispered.
"Trial.. but- he was under a curse the whole time it wasn't his fault.." I said, trying to make sense of the whole thing, not quite understanding. He shrugged his shoulders. He wasn't saying anything, he could only stare at the lake. I didn't know what to say, what could I say? He finally got his father back and now he might be taken away all over again.. "Maybe Harry can talk to the min-" "Don't you think he's already tried!?" He yelled, standing up and beginning to pace angrily. I gasped at his raised tone. "I just mean- maybe he hasn't tried everything-" "Of course he has Rose! Merlin- you don't get it! I could have had my father back!" He screamed, staring into my eyes. His eyes swelled with tears as they began to drop down his face. My own eyes began to swell with tears at his painful words. His eyes widened at the realization of what he had said.
"I'm so sorry.." he whispered. I lowered my eyes and stared at his feet. I know he only said it out of anger at his situation. "No, no, no, I am so, so sorry." I heard him frantically fall next to me, and he wrapped his arms around me and started to cry. I could feel my shoulder wetting with his tears, as his body shook all over. I began to rub his back. His words emotionally drained me. Why did our lives have to be filled with pain and loss and constant sadness. "I didn't mean that, I swear, I don't know why I said that." He whispered hoarsely, his voice breaking. "I know." I whispered. I stared over his shoulder, at the lake. Very confused about why. Why me and him. Why, my father. Why his father. Why our lives... "Please don't hate me." I felt his fingers entwine with me hair, as he held me closer. "I could never hate you." I said quietly, staring at the black water. Remembering a time when there was a giant squid, and two angry thirteen year olds fighting over petty things.
"The funeral is tomorrow." I whispered, standing up, leaving his arms. He stood up with me, and searched my eyes. "Tomorrow?" He asked, his silver eyes full of concern. I cleared my throat and nodded my head. I stared back at the leaf covered ground, "I leave in four hours, so, I better tell Harley. Both of you are invited. So I better go pack." I turned to leave, but he grabbed my hand. "I'll be there, I promise." I turned to look into his eyes, and I smiled. I kissed him on the cheek, "And I'll be there for you." I whispered, before heading back into the castle to tell Harley, and pack the rest of my belongings.