Allison's P.O.V.
I hesitated for the longest time on either knocking on Jacks door or to turn around and just continue ignoring him avoid seeing the devastated look he would have when I tell him what Sam and I did.
I balled my fist knocking twice on the glass door. Seeing a shirtless Jack open the door. "Hey Allison." He said I smiled "hi" I say a little my nerves feeling quizy.
"Want to come in?" He asked I sighed "We are nothing yet.. and I'm sorry to say it the way it's about to come out but I'm not sorry it happened and I apologize for not being sorry, but I slept with Sam. That was why I was avoiding you but you deserve to know if we want to be happy with each other maybe not now. But we can in the future." He stayed quiet "nothing happened to that William guy?" He asked my heart sinking "no.." I whispered
"It was a lie then?" I shook my head almost immediately "no! It was completely true. It was a set up for me but I didn't lie to you." I confess "If I wanted to I could have returned to not tell you what Sam and I did but.. I can no longer see us happening.. every time I try.. I see us. You and I." I admit sniffing "I want you. I do but I need time." I told him "that's fine." He replied, "I don't mean to cut it short but, I'm leaving town.." I sigh, "leaving?" He asked if nod once, "you just returned from Paris.." he stated "I know but, this is for me to help me find myself."
"I don't know where my heart or mind is and maybe going away for whatever time I need is necessary, I'll be back Jack. I will, this is for me to see what I want to do with myself" I sigh, "I was with Sam when I went to Paris. I was happy.. if you want truth, I'm leaving to keep me from being sad. I was happy then, now I'm just literally breaking inside and I want to visit home.. reminiscent my brothers grave.." he nodded
"I understand, if you ever need me. Call I'll be here at all hours." He said hugging me. I smile thanking him before leaving for the road. I would be driving to where my dad used to live, Arizona. He's moved out to Utah, farther from here which saddened me even more. He still had his home in Arizona so I would be there instead of a hotel.
As I drove my emotions began to go off, I was no longer sane. God I hated this. The literal ache I felt in my chest due to Sam choosing Brianna, and to know he was now going to have a baby with her broke me in a way that I couldn't explain, it was so much.
I kept myself from pulling over, and kept driving. I just wanted to run home and run to my room, hide under all the covers and cry and feel better the next day. But that wouldn't happen because I missed my brother, his birthday was this Friday and it broke me even more.
Another birthday of his, without him. She cried until her eyes hurt so much that she wouldn't be able to cry anymore.
I knew that my dad wouldn't be here, he tended to do this thing where he avoids to face reality.
Third person -
It hurt her because nobody knew how she honestly felt. Sam did, but nothing he said would leave her at ease. It was her only sibling, at least from both of her parents. She heaved as her cries died down.
She wanted her dad and mom to be there this weekend and just grieve like normal people would because she hated that they acted like if it doesn't matter. At least that is how it seemed to the broken hearted girl. She had wanted to call and see if they'd fly in or want to come but she knew better. So she didn't and decided to leave it at that. She was used to crying and being in grief alone.
Allison's P.o.v
I pulled into the drive way seeing the house lights inside dim, I thought nothing of it seeing my old friend took care of the beautiful home that was once filled with my childhood. My heart hurt as I scan my old home.
I haven't lived here since I was about 16. After Daniel died my parents split and I left with my mom to California L.A. which later lead me to get a home in Calabasas California. My dad had stayed here, he had so many things to do he couldn't just get up and go and it broke my heart to. I shut the car door my breathing slowing down as I walked toward my old home.
I slipped my key into the lock twisting it to remove the locks and entered, seeing all the pictures of her and Daniel hung on the walls, the furniture nice and fresh looking as always, nothing was ever moved or replace nor tooken down. I walked in a little more shutting my door behind me. "Dad" I say stunned by his appearance.
He faced me with sadness over his face. "I thought.. maybe," he frowned "I miss him. God he was my son." My dad cried as I hugged him. "I miss him too." I say in unison as another voice from behind me said I faced the direction seeing my mom.
"What are you two doing here?" I ask "you never come.." I quietly say. "I miss home." My mom said "it's not the same without you and your dad, and brother." Mom said "I agree." My dad said "I really miss Daniel." They both whispered "I miss him too." I whispered "I'm going to head upstairs.." I trail they nodded as I skipped up the stairs a lump forming in my throat
I reached the top of the steps suddenly seeing pictures from a few months before Daniels death. My heart leaping in pain, I saw the door to his old room. Where he would have been staying at this moment to have a barbecue or something to celebrate his birthday it's been six years of no one ever entering his room. I would always want to but would easily break down before entering and would just walk away.
I neared it slowly as tears filled my eyes, it was all just so hard right now, this time of year, Sam having a baby me not sure of what I want to do with Jack. I wish more than anything I had my brother here to comfort me. I knew he was, but not the way I wanted him too.
I slowly twisted the knob as I opened his door. Glancing around before entering. Everything stayed in its place, nothing was moved or touched "Danny.." I whispered before I closed the door behind me. His room was neatly cleaned just like it always was. His Cologne scent still in the atmosphere of his room.
I broke into sobs as a picture of him and I at my graduation was by his bedside. He had always had such faith in me and I graduated from both, high-school and college he just missed one. "I miss you brother.." I said "life has been so sad right now but it's always sad without you now." I lowly said "words don't explain the heart aching pain I am carrying. I miss you." I sobbed "I miss when we were kids and and I would cry or hurt myself and you knew how to wipe my tears and make it all go away. The pain or sadness." I choked out
"My gosh.." I choked on my words "I haven't been in here in years and I wish you'd be here to kick me out like old times and I.." I began heaving as I cried heavily; where did God take you? Why did he take you? I can't comprehend what it is we did to lose you. Why did it get so bad for yo..." I stopped as I could no longer speak kneeling to the floor as I lied there to cry. My knees pulled to my chest and head low.
I cried until I couldn't as I stayed in the position. I was close to him, very and this would always affect me, physically and emotionally. Sam would be here always, that was until we split. "Allison.." I hear from the other side of the door. I look up as my dad slowly opened the door his eyes sadder than before, "I knew you were here." His voice shook.
"Still the same.." my dad said as I nodded "what do you mean?" I ask my voice hoarse from all the heaving, and sobbs. "You would cry in here when you were younger and your brother, would wipe away your tears to comfort you." He said a single tear slipping from his eye.
"He was my boy" my dad said before he broke into cries "my only boy" he as I still had tears falling "I miss him dad.." I cried as he hugged me "I do too." He mumbled his voice failing because of the sadness that took over his emotions.
"Sometimes, I wish it was both of us who had gone. Because I wouldn't be so unhappy right now." I cried my father looking at me. "He would want us happy." My dad said cleaning his face "I know. But life is shot right now, so I'll try another day. I'm sleeping here tonight.." I tell him he nodded "I'll leave you alone, if you want to ever talk. I'll be here till Sunday of next week." "I might move in here.." I whisper "what about Sam?" He quickly asked my tears had stopped forming and I was now calming down a bit.
"We fell off.. and we've made a mutual decision to let one another go our separate ways.." I say my voice low but enough for him to hear me.
"Jack?" He asked "I don't know.." I managed to say "do what's best for you." I nodd, but that was the thing. What was the best for me? I hear the door closed I broke down once again. "Man do I wish you were hear more than ever daniel."
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I thought it would be best to get more of her emotions out, but. .. this sucked :( but I don't want to change it. I apologize for being inactive, btw, check out my new book! ';Dear Jack..'
I love you guys