" So i heard your performing at the Bet Awards, i bet your excited?" I said to Marshall while we sat in the studio, today had gotten better which i didnt expect, Luckily the talk about the shooting and Tupac had quieten down, well the main people that talked about were outside in the lounge area, everyone in the studio stopped talking about and got to work.
" yeah i guess, i am just not a real big fan of the Bet Awards for some reason" he commented looking towards me with soft calm look, ever since telling each other how we feel he doesnt glare at me anymore, his eyes still peiece through you but you can tell he is calm and relaxed and that he is not giving you are dirty. I could honestly stare at him all day but that just would be weird and freaky.
" understandable" i just replied as i hadnt realsied that i had gotten so caught up in the beauty that lied beneath the emotionless face. By this stage fifty had come over and was interested in the conversation.
" It might turn out to be good this year, I will be there, Lil wayne, hey aren't you also going Sarah?" Fifty asked giving both of us this cheeky grin, by the way Marshall and I both looked at each other we knew where he was going with this. I took me a while to actually reply, i was so caught of guard with the question, the awards were next week and i hadnt thought about my decision.
" I was going to but i dont know, awards ceremnoies arent really my thing espicially the hip Hop ones" i replied as i looked at Marshall, at the start he was surprised that i was even invited but than his face fell a little when he heard my reply, it was like he wanted me to go.
"come on Sarah, you should come. it will be fun" Fifty protested like a little child, Both Marshall and i knew why he wanted me to come, he wanted to play match maker for the night. Marshall lightly pushed Fifty away in a friendly way knowing where all this was going, and right now we didnt even want to take the chance of anyone finding out that we liked each other.
"Alright, Alright i can take a hint, I'm going" fifty laughed as he walked across the other side of the studio, still laughing at himself. God fifty is funny, he is one of those guys that just light up the mood and doesnt take anything to heart but he is also got that serious side where you know you can tell him anything, i think that is why Marshall and him are such good friends, they can hang out and have fun but they will aslo be there for each other, Everyone needs someone like Ffity in their life, in a way he was a lot like Tupac, Caring but also funny. Marshall and I laughed at Fifty's really bad match maker skills but we applauded his efforts,
" you should come, you know I might actually enjoy myself if you were there. I wouldn't have to deal with that idiot by myself" He commented before walking away, i know we had told each other how we felt but with Marshall i feel he is still very insecure and doenst have a lot of confidence in himself being Marshall becasue whenever he says sweet stuff or is forward on how he feels, he doesnt stick around to hear my answer, it was like he was afraid of being to forward or he was showing to much feeling so he feels he has to pull back and walk away.
Marshall P.O.V
Why the fuck did i just come out and say that, i sound like a complete loved up idiot. Sarah is gorgeous and stunning, she doesnt want some guy telling her all this sweet or corny things. I glanced back before leaving the studio walking towards the lounge area, in my head i kept going through what i just said to her, i dont want to freak her out or make her run away but i havent had feelings for a girl in so long so its like all these emotions and feelings that i buried and thought had died now have a reason to explode from my body and i say things that i soon come to regret saying.
i walked over to the mini fridge and grabbed myself a red bull, sculling it hoping the guys were talking about something interested that would take my mind of the humilation. Luckily they were telling funny stories that happened on tour, majority of them were rude and would not be appropirate if women like Sarah were around but for the time being, they were pretty funny. It was funny to compare life on the road these days till the younger days when i went. The guys did the same things we used to, travel to the venue on a bus full of guys, perform, than spend the rest of the night hanging with groupies and smoking weed. Hearing the guys stories and the experences they had with groupies, i couldnt help but start to think about all the mistakes i made, i know the guys are new in the industry and enjoyinh the hype but some of them have really good families and i just know they are taking everything they have for advantage when they shouldnt, i wanted to tell them but i didnt want to sound like the oldie in the group, so i just stood back and listened to all of them.
Sarah P.O.V
After finishing writing a few more notes, i walked out of the studio to grab some lunch with the guys, all of them had ordered Pizza but i dont like eating fatty foods so i grabbed my pre prepared salad that i made the night before. All of them were standing or stting round either watching tv and mucking around. Dre was having a conversation with Marshall and a dew other guys, you could tell they were the more experienced ones in the industry, even if you didnt know who they were you would be able to tell they were the main guys in the studio, they were the ones with a lot of power.
" do you ever eat bad" I heard someone comment as I got out my salad, I just giggled while I began to eat. Marshall kept his distance but I could feel he was glancing at me from time to time, he didn't bother to eat the food either, I know that back in the day he had a problem with his weight so obviously he was weary with what he ate. Royce couldn't help but add one of his smart ass comments about all women not eating to be skinny, I wasn't like that but, I just ate healthy because I know the boys love take away for dinner a lot.
The atmosphere in the studio was good today, I had finally forgotten about what happened yesterday. We were all gathered round talking and making jokes with each other, some girlfriends had come down with the guys to hang out and spend time with each other, so it was good to have some girl company. Sandra who is Fifty girlfriend is a lot like me, she is very down to earth and hates stuck up bitches so we got a long really well. A lot of the conversation ended with girls verse boys, usually the girls won the arguments.
While the group continued to watch TV and have conversations, I thought it was a good time to listen to the track Lil Wayne sent me, he wanted to know if he should change the chorus, it was for Nicki Minaj and her up incoming album. So I placed my head phones on and sat in the corner, listening to the song, it was very good I know that Nicki was very girly and she wanted that to show in her music. She didn't want to be all depressing and moody, she wanted to be different and from the songs that I have already heard, I knew she was going to achieve that.
I must of gotten in to my own little world because after about 6 minutes of listening to the music, I could hear people yelling than I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I took out my headphones wondering what they wanted and saw that it was Royce but before I could ask what he wanted, I than saw four guys in suits at the front and everyone staring at me
Marshall P.O.V
Everyone was getting along really well, I enjoyed these kind of session they weren't to hard but weren't to boring either, maybe that was because Sarah was here and I enjoyed hanging out with her. Sarah was in the corner listening to her iPod, I wanted to talk to her but I also wanted to let her have her own space. I was going to go back in the studio to write some music, I had a lot of thoughts going through my head which I just wanted to get out on paper but before I even made it to my office, four guys wearing suits stormed into the office. Right away I knew what they were, I knew they were cops the first thing I thought was someone had told them that drugs were on the property and they were here to go through all of our stuff. I was worried even though I knew there were no drugs here, I made sure that no one bought anything near me that could temp me to start taking again.
" Can I help you" I said turning to walk towards them, making everyone in the room stop their conversations and look at us, they knew straight away that they were cops just like I did but why the hell were cops here.
" Yes, I'm Detective Dawson and this is Detective Richards" One of them said as they both held up their badges like they were god on earth, so they weren't just cops they were detectives. What the hell has happened?, I started to panic thinking something bad had happened to one of my girls. I just glared at them waiting for then to continue, Cops hated me especially the ones in Detroit, they thought I was bad news.
" we are looking for Sarah Pieceson, is she here" Detective Dawson asked, my face changed as I became shocked when I heard they were looking for Sarah, worry came over me wondering of something tragic had happened. You could tell the others guys were shocked and wondering why they wanted Sarah. The room was silenced before Dre stepped forward.
" Why are you looking for Sarah" Dre asked stepping forward you could tell by his voice that he had put on his protective side to shield Sarah, luckily Sarah was still listening to her iPod so she had no idea that any of this was happening.
" We just need to ask her some questions, now is she here" the detective continued, his voice becoming more angry and eager to get a hold of Sarah, they must of seen that we were trying to hide and store them. All of us glanced at each other and Dre glanced back towards Sarah wondering if he should lie and say she is not here. I have no idea why but Dre was acting very worried that the cops were here looking for Sarah, it was like he was protecting her because he already knew what they wanted.
Some of the guys started to yell Sarah's name trying to get her attention but it was no luck, by the way she was lightly swaying her body she was defiantly in her own little world. After yelling didn't work, Royce than walked over and quietly tapped her on the shoulder making her take out her earphones and glance at Royce before she started to wonder why everyone was staring at her and the room was silent.
" Sarah Pieceson?" the Detective repeated after he realised who she was, She looked worried never taking her eyes of the cops as she got of her stool.
" yeah I'm Sarah Pieceson, can I help you" she said walking towards them, I could feel that her heart had stopped beating because she was worried and confused.
" I'm Detective Dawson, this is Detective Richards. We wondering if we could as you a few questions" He said as he glared at her, the guys and I kept glancing between them both wondering what the hell was going on and by the look Sarah had on her face she was wondering the same thing. Why did they want to talk to Sarah? What had happened ?
"Regarding what?" she asked so softly that anything barely came out, you could just hear the fear in her voice as she stood next to Dre, waiting for them to reply.
" Regarding the 1994 Shooting at Quad Studios in New York, so do you mind coming down to the police station, it wont take long" the detective said, as soon as I heard 1994 shooting I looked over at Sarah or could see both her and Dre's faces had fallen. The rest of the guys in the room an I looked at each other with shock, as soon as we heard 1994! studio and shooting we knew it had to be the one Tupac was involved in.
While we were wondering why they wanted to speak to Sarah, you could the worry that was in their faces as they stared at each other.
"
"You go, I'll cover for you " he said softly, lightly guiding her towards the cops, by her face she was nervous ad scared.
The room was still silent while sarah walked at with the guys. we didn't know what to say we just looked at Dre wondering how the most caring and nicest woman has just be taken by the cops for questioning.
"What the hell was that about?" I broke the silence as I glared at Dre, I knew he said he would cover for her but I wanted the truth, was the woman that I liked really who she say she is.
" She just needs to talk to the cops about something that happened a long time ago, nothing to worry about" he said with his head down while beginning to walk back in to the studio, I knew he was avoiding the situation but I wanted answers just like the other guys did.
" Yeah but it was the shooting that Tupac was hurt in, what would she know about that shooting? " Royce quickly asked before Dre could get away, we put him on the spot and weren't going to stop until we got to the truth. Dre was silenced for a bit probably trying to figure out what excuse to come up with, the silence was broken when Sean spoke from behind us all,
" Dre just tell them, they are going to find out anyway" Sean said making us glance between the two nervous guys. Dre was freaking out if he should tell us or not.
" You know how there was a woman also hurt in the shooting?" Dre asked all of us, we remembered pretty quickly but fifty was quicker than 'all of us, suddenly he broke the silence in the room.
" Omg...Sarah was the woman that got shot" he said in shock, as he got up from his seat
" but why? why was she even at the studio that night" fifty quietly asked, he looked like he had just seen a ghost. It took me a few seconds to actually figure out what he was talking about, but when I did I was just as shocked as the rest of the guys. Sarah was the other person shot that night, she had been there and experienced that horrific night.
"She was best friends with Tupac, had been since they were 13. She was there that night to keep him company while he recorded a song" Dre quickly answered, he became a bit more comfortable after he told us about the whole secret.
"Look she doesn't like to talk about it, that night changed her life, she has tried so hard to forget about it." he continued, thinking about it now all makes sense, why she ran out yesterday and why her mood changed when I brought tupac up, it was all because she had lived through it.
" but I don't get it. tupac always rapped about how he hated white people and it turns out his best friend is white. it just doesn't make sense!" one of Royce's friend commented from behind us. Sean stepped forward to defend his friend
" That's where you are wrong, tupac only had a problem with people that treated him badly, from the start Sarah always looked out for him and stuck up for him, he loved her and cared about her, he didn't care about what colour her skin was " Sean said and he stood next to Dre in front of all of us. finding this out made me understand Sarah more, everyone thought she was new in the industry but in a way she had been there from the beginning.
" so now that you know, when Sarah gets back can your not make a big deal about it. You ask her things but don't take it over board" Dre said shaking his head while he started to walk into the studio. I could tell he was stressing out and worried about Sarah, I guess from finding out we all were.
" hang on Dre, In the news the guy said that the woman was a threat to Rosemond, Why was Sarah a threat" Royce asked before Dre could get into the room, the guys seemed fascinated by finding all of this out. It was a bug surprise and shock.
Dre started laughing as he heard Royce's question " have you seen what Sarah can do in the studio?, she is so talented. Tupac was the one who discovered her inner talent but at the time they were keeping it on the down low, they were just mucking, Tupac was teaching Sarah something's and they were writing songs for his debut album. It had gotten round and some labels heard the snippet of songs that Tupac and Sarah had made, they were amazed they wanted more. Rosemond figured out that Tupac wasn't just the threat Sarah was a threat as well, yeah she was white and it would have been tough but it defiantly would have made a scene back in the day" He answered laughing at Royce's question. It made sense, Sarah was really talented I had always thought that Dre was the one that discovered Sarah but I guess Tupac was the one. I understood what Dre was saying, if not only a white person decided to rap back in the day but a white Woman thought she could make it in the Hip Hop world, she would have gotten so much shit, But these days more White people are in the Hip Hop.
With after saying that Dre walked into the studio to call someone, probably Nicole or someone from his label. The guys all stood round while we tried to soak in what we had just heard, some of the guys still had questions to ask so Sean answered the best that he could since he was friends with Sarah back than. From what he had told us, Sarah went through hell being friends with Tupac, from the hate and from after the accident. A lot of people would have given up or quit but Sarah stuck through it and stuck with Tupac even when she knew the Danger.
Spending nearly an hour at the police station answering the same Questions that I have been asked so many times can get very tiring, I wanted to go home and just sleep but I knew I had to go back to the studio and finish what I started, I couldn't let this get in my way of my Career Tupac would hate that.
Walking in the studio was a lot different than when I left, it was quiet and more moody. From the amount of cars in the car park, I am guessing some of the guys went home but still there was a lot of people still here, I quickly tried to wipe the tears so the guys wouldn't notice all the pain that was inside. when I first walked in I was strong, I walked past a few guys that were in the lounge area and I kept my cool and the tears inside but I could feel them staring at me, I guess Dre told them the truth. I knew I had to be cool and collected like what had come out didn't affect me because crying is just another way of showing weakness and people thrive on your weaknesses in the Hip Hop industry. I entered the studio ready to start work again and dodge and questions about before, I saw that there was about 7 guys in there including Marshall, Fifty, and Royce but right now all I wanted was Dre, I wanted someone that had seen me down before and had seen me cry.
" Sarah, we didn't think you were coming back" Royce said standing up in surprise, he was shocked that I had decided to come back to work after being taken away by the cops. After he spoke the rest of the guys turned round and faced me also looking very surprise to see me.
" Is Dre here" I just asked trying not to look at them in the eye, trying to hide my sadness and tears. I just needed Dre and get out of here before I broke down. I hated going back to the past cause it always made me sad.
" Nah he left, something about Nicole and one his boys being sick" Royce answered still with shock in his voice, I could tell by the way they were all looking at me they all had questions and things they wanted to say. I was going to answer them but not today, I softly nodded my head taking in everything Royce was saying, trying to sound not to desperate for Dre but as I was nodding and acting all tough, I just had to glance and make contact with Marshall as he stood staring at me with a concerned face. And that's when it happened, as soon as I saw those eyes and his concerned face I could feel my eyes beginning to water, so I quickly turned round and stormed out knowing I had to get out of here, to have a good cry. It was something about Marshall that made me break down, I know I would have broken down in front of Dre but not Marshall, its just as soon as I saw his face it was like I could trust him and let my guard down, it was like I could confide in him even though he wasn't around back than. It was like he would hold me and let me cry even if it was ridiculous the reason. I shouldn't be thinking like this, yes! we told each other how we felt but we still haven't even gone out yet, there was no way I was going to let him see me like this, no way was I going to depend on him in any way.
Marshall P.O.V
She looked so sad as she walked into the room, you can see it In her body language and her eyes, it was like she just wanted to break down but was trying to stay strong. It wasn't helping that the guys stood up and looked at her like she was dead, they were so eager to ask questions about the past, you can see it was making her very overwhelmed. I didn't know what to do or to say, I wanted to help her and talk to her but I know she is the type to put up walls and protect herself. She looked at me and that's when I saw all the emotions she was trying to cover up come up towards the surface, but before I could even take a step forward she stormed out of the studio. I didn't even look back at the guys before sprinting out following her through studio till she made it outside. I glanced around looking for her before finding her kneeling down against the wall.
" hey are you okay" I sincerely asked sitting beside her, as soon as she saw me she tried to cover up the tears and out on a brave face, but me being very similar as her I could see right through her.
"I'm Fine, just a tad overwhelmed that's all" she said still trying to wipe her tears, I don't why she is putting up all these walls, I have showed her my other, emotional side. I didn't answer, knowing I would probably push it to fair with trying to get answer, she could tell me when she was ready. So instead I just placed my arm over her shoulder and brought her close to my chest so she could see i was just here to comfort, as soon as doing so she started to cry again, I just wanted to protect her and to let her know it was okay to show some emotions from time to time, that it was okay to cry when you were sad. I know when Proof died, i did everything possible to keep my feelings inside leading to me taken drugs, when I knew the best medicine was to let it all out and talk to someone.
"Sshhh... its okay, let it out" I said softly while rubbing small circles in her back trying to make her feel more comfortable, i wasn't going to judge her.
" I'm sorry, I'm Sorry" she said quickly again leaning away from my chest and putting her walls up, it was like she had already shown me to much emotions and the other side of her. It was like she was scared to show any emotions because it was a sign of weakness.
" why are you apologising?, its been a rough day for you" I said simply as she leaned back against the wall next to me, for some reason I felt empty when she leant away, just holding her for that few seconds I could already imagine holding her at night while she fell asleep or holding her while we laid on the lounge watching TV. I know it was still to soon to even think about dating her since we haven't even gone out but honestly Sarah felt like someone that was going to be in my future hopefully as the half of me.
" I am such a whimp" she laughed while looking down at her hands, she couldn't even look at me in the eyes she was that embarrassed by her emotions, so I just kept watching her from the side thinking to myself how cute she looked when she cried.
We talked for a little trying to take her mind of what had happened today so she wouldn't cry again, after a while I started to see her smile and laugh again when I made fun of myself. I didn't care if I was making an a embarrassment of myself least she was smiling again. I wanted to talk about what had happened today hopping it will help her through this process but I know she needed time and right now she just wanted to forget about.
" so I am guessing your curious about everything that has happened" she asked randomly as we sat in a minute silence, It was like she could tell I was thinking about it.
" yeah but I don't want to pressure you in to telling me, when you are ready" I replied looking towards her, by now she had stop crying but still had red puffy eyes from before. She smiled looking back at me.
"its cool, what do you want to know" she asked giggling a little bit, I didn't really want to know anything in particular just general things, I am still trying get it through my head that Sarah, the innocent, gorgeous Sarah was once shot doing the thing she loved.
" you and Pac?' I asked slowly, her head snapped up when I mentioned that, I knew she could tell I was surprised by their friendship, they didn't seem like two people that would have things I common. " I.... I just cant see it, No offense" I continued putting my hands up in my defence, it didn't mean it in a bad way but I have heard a lot of things about those days, I just cant see Sarah being part of it.
" Its Okay, your not the first to ask that Question. To be honest I sometimes wonder how we were friends, but I was so different back in those days, I was immature, used to drink a lot, didn't care about who I got with. I was trying to re live my teenage years" she laughed answering my question, I couldn't actually even picture her being Drunk and Slutty. Since meeting Sarah she has always been so classy and relaxed.
Sarah sat and told me about when she met Tupac, how she moved over here from Australia because she had a scholarship for an arts school. she got in because she was a really good dancer back in the day. Tupac was in the Drama section but as they became friends they discovered there other talents and helped each other with them.
" all my life I wanted to be a Dancer, I did everything but..." she started to explain how her dream was crushed, I knew where she was with this.
" but than the shooting happened, I was shot in the leg which ended my dream of being a dancer" she continued to explain how that night changed her whole life, how she had to adapt to living without Dance. I could relate to being so passion about something that your whole life dependent on it. She glanced at me than back towards her hands fidgeting with her nerves.
"Pac did everything to make sure I was okay, that's the only reason I became a producer, Pac felt bad for me" she said softly, she sounded like she was ashamed or upset with what happened in the past, like she thought she wasn't good enough and only got the job because of Pac.
" That's not true Sarah, your so talented. Its not just because you were friends with Pac. he saw something in you" I said trying to reassure her that she was as talented as all the other producers out their or even better. She has a natural Talent that only a few producers have. She was looking at me but when I gave her a compliment she blushed softly while looking away, I cant believe I had that effect on her.
We sat and talked a little bit longer mostly about her past and how much she had changed. It was nice hearing the whole east coast west cost rivalry from someone who wasn't one sided. I know she was best friends with Tupac but I also found out she was once good friends with Biggie and that she never really got involved and took a side, she was friendly with Biggie but she chose to be closer with Tupac making her lose her friendship with Biggie. Hearing all of this, I understand more why finding out that P diddy who was best friends with Biggie knew about the shooting hurt her a lot, it was like finding out that Biggie knew about the shooting as well.