Manik
Nandini is gone. She'll be away for me for entire 3 fucking days and I can do nothing about it. In these two days my life has taken a complete 180 degree turn....it was so sorted, I had nandini with me, fab 5 was together and even mukti had started healing and was happy with Abhi but now...huh! (Laughs humorlessly) now I have nothing.....the most precious people of my life are now miles away from me, one because she does not want my dream to break and the other because she thinks that I have changed. But what about me? What about my opinions? I can't live like this. I know that mukti is insecure and she needs me, I know mukti is possessive about me as she sees me as her brother but that gives her no right to accuse nandini who has always been my support system. If nandini wasn't there then I would have never been the manik they I'm today, its because of her that I'm this strong today. She has always been selfless, always thinking about others before her. She's my best friend, my star and I can't let her suffer but look what did I do....nothing! I just witnessed every damn thing happening in front of my eyes but did bloody nothing for her. I was feeling so helpless, so guilty but I could do nothing. Nandini wanted space and hence she was going to Mangalore to meet her amms for 3 days and I could not even stop her.
I was on my way to college after dropping nandini at the airport. After dropping her off I felt horrible as if a part of myself was going away, I felt kinda empty within me. Yeah! Nandini is that important to me....she's an integral part of my life whom I can never ever lose. With these thoughts in mind I reached college and straightaway headed to the fab 5 jam room where everyone was waiting for her. Even Abhi was there. He looked sad, really sad and I knew that he was missing nandu after all she is his sister. He saw me entering in and gave a faint smile which I replied back. I looked around to see cabir, Alia and dhruv give me sympathetic looks seeing my fallen face, they knew I was hurt and guilty, they knew I was missing nandini but they cannot help because they can't hurt mukti and I totally understand that. Finally I saw mukti who was busy tuning her guitar oblivious of the happenings around her, completely unaware of the storm inside me. We soon started with our jamming but I could not concentrate. I was frustrated. I was shouting and snapping at anyone and everyone even though they did nothing. My guilt was overpowering me. I wish nandu was here, only she can calm me down.
I have had enough for a day so I canceled the practice and asked everyone to leave me alone for some time. I started playing my guitar roughly with my eyes closed, taking out all my aggression and guilt in it. This is what I do always whenever I'm sad or angry.....play music! After nandini, music is my home, my solace. It helps me calm down. After a while I stopped playing and took my phone out and started scrolling through mine and nandini's pictures.
Scrolling through all these images, I stopped on a picture of nandini.
She looked so beautiful 😇. I kept on admiring her with s smile on my face and then began speaking.
"Nandini I'm so sorry....I know its all my fault. You are suffering so much because of me. We are not together because of my stupidity. I can lose everything but I can't lose you nandu....I can't stay without you...I...I just can't. You taught me how to live life, you made me strong and what did I do? (Laughs humorlessly) I...I dragged you in my stupid plan and you got accused without having any fault. I'm such a horrible friend! Hai na? You can beat me, slap me hard or do anything that you want to me but please come back soon....you are my solace nandini...please come back. Its been hardly a day since you went Mangalore and see I'm already missing you so much then how will I spend the rest of my life without you if mukti doesn't understand that she was wrong and you are innocent? What if mukti never realizes? Nooooo! I can't let this happen. It was my plan to drag you everywhere along with me, to stay away from mukti and spend time with you so that mukti spends quality time with Abhi but my plan backfired......I'm so so stupid! I regret planning....I regret dragging you in my plan.....I regret it"
End of POV
He broke down after speaking his heart out but there was no one to console him, he did not have his solace, he did not have nandini with him. While he was crying his eyes out, there was one pair of eyes observing this and boiling in anger.
"This is all because of you nandini that manik is so much in pain....I won't forgive you ever for this!" The person said and left.
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