Minor Language
How were you guys planning on beating that?
Together.
We'll lose.
Then we'll do that together too.
Tony jolted awake and sat up with a panting desperation, his eyes darting around the room to try to find something familiar that would center him and bring him into the moment, but the darkness made it nearly impossible.
"FRIDAY...lights..." he gasped, running his hands through his sweat-soaked hair. His room was quickly filled with a warm glow that began to calm him, and he was thankful that his A.I. had the wherewithal to not inadvertently blind him. "What time is it?"
"It's 3:15am, boss."
"Shit," he groaned, reluctantly swinging his legs over the side of the bed and pressing his feet to the floor to stand with a long stretch that made it painfully aware how his recent lack of sleep was wearing on him. Every muscle and joint fought the movement and a dull ache reminded him just how exhausted he was. After a quick trip to the bathroom and a splash of water on his face, he gave sleep another try.
I saw them all dead Nick. I felt it. Because of me. I didn't do all I could.
The Maximoff girl, she's workin' you, Stark.
I wasn't tricked, I was shown. It wasn't a nightmare, it was my legacy. The end of the path I started us on.
The same pattern repeated, Tony waking with a pounding heart and a now a striking vision of a dead team stuck in his mind. He swore that he could feel Steve's cold and pulseless skin on his fingers even now when he looked down at his sweating and tremulous hands. "Time?"
"It's only 4am," FRIDAY said quietly and almost apologetically. "Should I call Miss (Y/N)?"
"No!" he snapped, but then quickly softened his tone, "no, that's okay. I have to figure this out on my own. Like everything else I've ever screwed up."
~~~
Tony was all out of sorts, first slamming drawers closed and banging his cup on the counter top with frustration; glancing up at you with pained eyes as Steve and Sam entered the room to sit with the team. It only took a matter of seconds for an argument to ensue, and normally Tony would be at the center of it, but now he had taken a seat silently with his eyes covered as if he wanted nothing to do with it.
"Tony," Nat smirked, "you're being uncharacteristically non-hyperverbal."
"Because he's already made up his mind."
"Oh, you know me so well, Cap," he groaned, rolling his eyes and returning to the kitchen with an almost nervous energy; when Tony was upset there was no way to keep him still. "I'm nursing an electromagnetic headache. It's just pain."
You stood to go to him, but before you could take a step he pulled out his phone and a picture of a young man came to life. His expression dropped and his eyes began to redden; something was terribly wrong and you knew the pain he was talking about wasn't just from his headache.
"Oh, that's Charles Spencer, by the way," he snapped. "He's a great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA. Had a floor-level gig, an intel plan for the fall. But first he wanted to put a few miles on his sole before he parked it behind a desk. See the world, maybe be of service. Charlie didn't wanna go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn't go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun. He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor. Guess where. Sokovia."
"Tony," you approached cautiously, but he continued without missing a beat as if you had said nothing.
"He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. I mean, we won't know because we dropped a building on him while we were kickin' ass."
"I know what you're doing, Tony, and it's not your fault," you finally broke in. "What happened in Sokovia isn't on just you, okay? We all had our part in that."
"Because I created the situation, (Y/N). Please, don't sugarcoat this, and spare me the pity. Listen, even if that never happened, there's no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check, and whatever form that takes, I'm game. If we can't accept limitations, we're no better than the bad guys."
"But you've already made yourself the bad guy, like you always do."
"(Y/N), maybe Tony's right," Nat added quietly, with a look of apprehension as she spoke to a group that was shocked by her words, none more than Sam. "If...we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer."
"Wait, aren't you the same woman who told the government to kiss our ass a few years ago?" Sam asked, looking to you to back him up. When you shifted your gaze away, his mouth hung open in shock that you would actually be agreeing with what was happening. You had been mission partners since he joined the Avengers, and it would never once occur to him that you might disagree with him on something so important as this. "(Y/N), come on, tell me you're not buying into this too?"
"She's reading the terrain. We've made some very public mistakes, Sam, and we need to win their trust back. I know that you can agree with at least that much."
"I'm sorry," Tony scoffed, "did I just mishear you ladies or did you just agree with me?"
You looked around the group, particularly to Steve, who was shaking his head in disbelief that he and Sam seemed to be the only ones left to disagree with what was happening. He had been burned by government control before, rocking the core of his character when he was betrayed by a system that told him they were doing what was right and he had willingly followed. This was just another attempt at control that he now wanted nothing to do with.
"Oh, I want to take it back," you groaned, seeing Natasha nodding her head in agreement, but it was too late; Tony took it and ran.
"No, no, no, you can't retract it," he gloated. "Thank you, unprecedented."
~~~
It was my legacy.
You, Avengers. You are my meteor. My swift and terrible sword, and the Earth will crack with the weight of your failure.
His name was Charles Spencer, and you murdered him. He's dead, and I blame you.
"Son of a bitch," Tony shot forward from his tortured sleep, throwing his pillow angrily across the room with a pained yell. "Time?"
"2:30am, boss."
He sat in complete silence for several minutes, weighing his options of if he should try to sleep again as he so desperately needed, if he should give up and work in the lab to keep his mind occupied, or if he should try to drink himself into passing out just for the rest it would provide. When none of those options sounded appealing, he finally gave in to what FRIDAY had known was the answer all along.
"Okay, you can call her now."
~~~
"Ma,am?"
"Hmm?" you murmured, turning over in your bed and pulling the pillow over your head.
"Miss (Y/N)?"
"FRIDAY, this had better be good. If someone isn't literally on fire or at least actively dying, I suggest you back the fuck off."
"Well, it's neither of those, but Mr. Stark is requesting your immediate assistance. Does that count as good enough?"
"What time is it?" With a loud yawn you pulled yourself up, trying to straighten your hair from the tangled mess atop your head. You slowly crept to your dresser and pulled out a pair of sweatpants, tipping and on the verge of falling over as you tried to get your legs into them with a total lack of coordination or grace.
"2:40am, ma'am."
"FRIDAY, just between you and I, when was the last time he slept more than a few hours in one night?" There was a momentary pause as she reviewed her information, and the longer you waited, the further away you knew the date to be.
"Mr. Stark achieved an eight-hour rest period two months, one week, one day, six hours and 42 minutes ago."
The day before they broke up, you thought as you calculated the exact date. "Thanks. Tell him I'm on my way." With dragging feet you made your way to Tony's floor at the tower, expecting him to be in his room waiting for you, but as the elevator doors opened you were taken aback by the sight of him sitting on the floor with his legs pulled up to his chest and his head down. "Tony, what happened?" you asked, hurrying now to sit at his side. "I'm here, talk to me."
"I can't be in that room anymore," he replied quietly. "It's not like I'm sleeping anyway, so what's the point, right? What the hell's the point in anything anymore? No matter what I do, even if I'm trying to do the right thing, it all gets fucked up. Why is that?"
"That's not true."
"Yeah it is," he whispered with a shaky voice that threatened to fail with each word, finally looking up at you with puffy eyes full of fatigue and pain. "I trashed all my suits trying to make things right, then we had to mop up Hydra, and then Ultron...my fault. And then and then and then...I never stopped, because the truth is, I don't want to stop."
"It's just a break, Tony. You haven't lost her."
"Well, that's not even the worst of it, (Y/N). The team's a mess, Steve's gone and I have to be the one to bring him in, and I can trace every single part of this to something that I've done." He rubbed his hands over his eyes with a low moan and took a deep breath, leaning back against the wall with a quiet thump of his head against it. "I'm trying to keep from tearing the Avengers apart."
Your first instinct was to say that it was the Accords doing that, but he was the first to agree to them, and he would misconstrue that as his fault too. No matter what you thought to say, you knew that he was in a mindset that would turn your words against you and against him, so you decided that maybe talking wasn't your best decision after all.
"Alright, come on. We're getting you to sleep, right now." You stood and held out a hand, but he only looked at it without acceptance. "Now, Stark. Up."
"I don't want to be in that room."
"Then it's a good thing we're going to mine."
"Scandalous," he smiled weakly, finally reaching up to allow you to help him. You could feel the reluctance in him as you all but dragged him to your room and pushed him inside, standing at the door until he crawled into your bed and pulled the blankets up and over his head. "There, I'm in. Happy?"
You felt his body stiffen anxiously when you climbed in next to him, holding your arms out for him to lay against you. "I can't protect you if you don't get in here, Tony." Without another word, he scooted himself over and into your arms, laying his head against your shoulder and closing his eyes while you rubbed your hand slowly over his back. It was only a matter of minutes before you felt him finally relax and heard his breathing begin to slow.
"Sleep, Tony. I've got you."
Part 2
"Stay safe," Tony commanded, though his voice was softened with worry. "If Cap's smart today, he'll come with us without a fight, but he hasn't been very smart lately, so who the hell knows."
"You really need to stop worrying about me so much, Tony," you smiled. "I'm a big girl."
"Try to stop me." Tony stopped abruptly and took flight next to Rhodey when they saw Steve emerge from the parking garage, taking out the helicopter he had planned to use for his getaway first before landing in his path.
Steve's stance shifted slightly when he noticed Natasha moving to stand to his right, and again when you approached to his left. "Steve, you know what's about to happen," she warned, "do you really want to punch your way out of this one?" He didn't answer, only staring Tony in the eye with a firm decision to do whatever he had to do to get past him.
"Steve," you whispered, "come on. I can see what you're thinking. Don't do this."
"Alright, I've run out of patience. Underoos!"
Peter swung overhead at Tony's summons and ripped the shield from Steve's hands, landing only a few feet away. You hadn't seen the kid in action yet, and you couldn't help but be impressed. "Hey, everyone."
"You've been busy."
"And you've been a complete idiot," Tony snapped back at Steve. "Dragging in Clint, 'rescuing' Wanda from a place that she doesn't even want to leave, a safe place."
Rhodey's hand shifted and he took a step closer, as did Natasha when T'Challa landed at her side, the team now surrounding Steve in each direction. Tony held his ground and Steve held his silence, refusing to talk anymore despite Tony's goading, but you could see in his eyes that he was pleading for his former teammate to agree.
"You're gonna turn Barnes over and you're gonna come with us now, because it's us!"
The Captain gave a final look to Tony and a smirk crossed his lips as he raised his web-covered hands into the air, smiling fully when an arrow shot through them and freed him. "Alright, Lang." With that, Scott flipped away from Peter, returning to his full size with the shield now in his grip and handing it to Steve; it was the sign his team was waiting for, and the fight began.
"Ah, great. Alright, there's two on the parking deck, one of them's Maximoff, I'm gonna grab her," Tony growled. "Rhodey, you wanna take Cap? (Y/N), I want you to take out anyone who even thinks about touching that jet." Tony took flight towards the garage and you made a run for the hangar bay, doing your best to go unnoticed, with Natasha knocking Scott to the ground when he tried to grab you.
"Hey, guys? That other scary lady is trying to get to the hangar first!" Scott called out to his team as he stood to face her. "Listen, I really don't want to hurt you," he said, almost apologetically.
"I wouldn't stress about it," Nat smirked, quickly taking him again to the hard tarmac. "But let me give you a hint. Tony won't be this nice if you go after her again. He has a bit of a soft spot for that one."
Scott pushed himself up with a pained whine and ran back to Steve, who had finally broken away from both Rhodey and T'Challa; you could see them looking at something in the Captain's hand, but you couldn't make it out until you were about to be hit by a full-size truck flying through the air.
"Oh, come on!"
The explosion shook the ground beneath your feet and threw you, Nat, T'Challa and Rhodes in different directions, each of you struggling to stand after the impact. It became clear to you that this fight had immediately escalated beyond what anyone on your team was expecting, and for Steve to lead such a strong offensive against his own friends only solidified how much he must believe in what he's doing.
"Was this a part of the plan, Tony? This is out of control and getting worse," you groaned in pain when you took his extended hand to pull yourself up to standing. "Steve is doing what he thinks he has to do, and you know that he won't just give up. They're not gonna back down."
"Well, my plan was to go easy on them, you wanna switch it up?"
"Not if it means hurting anyone."
Tony scoffed behind his mask and put a hand on your back, following you as you began again towards the hangar bay. "They just threw a fire ball in your face and you're worried about hurting them? Sorry, sweetheart, but they just lost any shred of compassion that I had left." He released you and took flight to meet the rest of the team at the center of the runway as you continued on, trying to take cover and get to the jet without too much focus from Steve's team. You were within only a few yards when you heard Vision's voice carrying overhead.
"Captain Rogers. I know that you believe what you are doing is right. But for the greater good, you must surrender now."
The fight had momentarily silenced, with each team standing to face the other, and for just a second you held onto a hope that it would stop for good. You knew that you were asking for too much, and it was realized when they began to run towards each other with no regard for how they were about to meet. The fight began again, renewed with more energy and anger than before; friendships didn't exist anymore, and former alliances were completely destroyed. You watched Clint and Natasha throw each other to the ground, Wanda and Vision using their powers to hold each other at bay, and Steve and Tony looked as if they could destroy each other without a second thought. When you reached the jet you readied your weapons and took your stance, prepared to defend it; minutes later, Natasha unexpectedly joined you, her uniform slightly torn and a few bruises already beginning to form.
"Okay, tiny dude is big now! He's big now!" you heard through your comm, rushing forward to look out at the field in shock at the sight of a massive Scott looming over everyone and pulling Tony and Rhodey from the sky.
"Holy shit," you gasped, grabbing her arm. "Guys? Anybody on our side hiding any shocking and fantastic abilities that they'd like to disclose?"
"This has to stop," Nat sighed, pulling you back in. "It up to us, (Y/N). When they get here, I'll take Steve, you take Barnes. These should knock them out long enough for us to get the restraints on."
You shook your head in disagreement, taking one of her gauntlets as she held it out and returning your gun to your holster, "no, I'll take Cap. I can't let you be the one to take him down, you're too close. It would be the same as if I had to stop Tony," you smiled weakly and took your position. "I don't know if I could."
"Thanks."
"Actually, Nat," you coughed quietly, clearing your throat with hesitation at what you were about to say, "I'm not sure if I can do this either. I'm not sure what to believe after all of this. It's Steve. He wouldn't be fighting this hard...against us...if he didn't think that what he was doing wasn't the only way, right?"
Just then, a loud and shrill sound hurt your ears, even as you covered them, and the tower next to you began to crumble in front of the door. Steve and Bucky were sprinting towards you as the ground began to shake beneath their feet, diving and rolling under the debris just in time to avoid being crushed by it. When the dust cleared slightly, they stood to attention at the sight of their welcome party.
"You're not gonna stop," Natasha greeted them, taking a stand near the jet opposite of you. You had both been ready to stop Steve and Bucky, but now that they were in front of you and their eyes were all but begging you to understand, you glanced at Natasha and saw that her resolve had begun to waver as well.
"You know I can't," Steve sighed, watching you with a sadness and an unspoken apology in his eyes. Bucky stood silently next to him, waiting for you to make your move, neither of them taking a stance to defend themselves.
"Damn it," you mumbled to yourself, extending your arm, "I'm gonna regret this." Your first strike hit T'Challa square in the chest as he tried to sneak up on them, dropping him to his knees. Natasha took the second shot, still slowing him but noticeably harder to do than the first strike.
"Go."
~~~
Rhodey looked so much smaller as they were putting him into the scanner, and the expression of worry that he carried was like a punch in your chest. Maybe if you hadn't let Steve and Bucky go, this never would have happened; Vision wouldn't have had to take that shot at Sam, and this all could have been avoided. Beyond any of that, the one thing that you knew for certain, was that Tony wouldn't forgive you or Nat for this for a very long time, if ever.
"Fractures in L4-S1, severe laceration of the spinal cord," Tony sighed, "probably looking at some form of paralysis."
You stood silently with him for a moment, the two of you looking out over the grounds with the sudden realization that this could very well be your final conversation with him. There was never a guarantee as to how Tony would react to things, and your betrayal could bring out the worst of him that you had yet to see. "Hey, are you gonna be okay? Your hands are shaking."
"You let them go, (Y/N). I told you to stop them, and you let them go."
"We played this wrong, Tony."
"We?" he scoffed. "I don't get this, (Y/N), so please enlighten me. You are the last person that I ever thought would betray my trust like this. I thought that you...that you were my friend, and that you understood."
You took a small step back from him and the anger in his posture, though you knew that he would never strike out at you in any way other than a good verbal berating. You were about to reply when Natasha joined you and stood at your side in an effort to demonstrate some idea of solidarity. You didn't want to go against him, but you were now seeing beyond just his side.
"And you. You're just as guilty as she is," he pointed harshly at her. "Did you suck her into this? Convince her to go against me, is that it? It must be hard to shake that whole double agent thing, huh?"
"Are you incapable of letting go of your ego for one goddamn second?" she snapped back and turned to him, but you broke in before she could continue and grabbed her arm to stop her from stepping closer.
"Nat, just leave it."
"T'Challa told Ross what you did," he said to you both. "They're coming for you."
"We're not the ones who need to watch their back." Natasha yanked her arm from your grip and looked at you, waiting for you to follow, but you didn't. With a huff and a roll of her eyes, knowing that you wouldn't leave Tony's side until he forcibly pushed you away, she left the two of you alone, but now you had no idea if you should stand by him or run from him.
"Tony? Are you going to turn me in? Because if I'm getting arrested, I'd rather that you be the one to do it."
"(Y/N), listen," he whispered, "you've stood by me for so long, and you've really been one of my best friends, even through everything else that's happened. But...I...after what you did, I...I don't think that you and I should see each other-" he stopped abruptly with a huff when a call came in over his watch and an image brightened over his arm. "What am I looking at, FRIDAY?"
Despite his initial judgment, he leaned slightly so that you could look with him, gasping when you realized that the evidence he was seeing now only solidified Steve's argument. His posture shifted just slightly and his hands dropped to his sides, looking out across the grounds one last time before turning to leave. "Fire up the chopper." You took a step forward to join him but he turned back harshly with a hand up, stopping you in your tracks. "No. Not until I know what's going on. Stay here, (Y/N), you got me?"
With a silent nod in reply, you watched him walk away and waited until he was out of sight to hurry back into the main building to find the only person you could think of to help you; the only person who wanted to follow as much as you did. You saw the Stark helicopter begin to power up in your periphery, as well as the small glider that was ready to chase it.
"Your Highness, could you wait please?" you called out, running to catch T'Challa before he could leave. "Please, I know that you think I made a mistake, and I'm sorry, I truly am," you panted slightly, "but I need to follow Tony. Please, can you take me?"
"Your needs are not of my concern."
"I know, and you have no reason to help me, other than that I know you are a man of your convictions and doing what's right. I'm afraid of what Tony might be walking into and I just want to help. Please..." you paused when the hangar guard walked past, lowering your tone, "I think he's going to find out where Barnes is. That's what you want, right?"
T'Challa straightened and looked down at you, his gaze feeling as if it were going through you as he studied your face. You hadn't interacted with him before, but the power in his presence was palpable and frankly, slightly frightening. Nat had told you about this, but to experience it in person took you aback with reverence. "I will allow you to join me, but you cannot interfere with my plan for Barnes. If you try, you will find yourself in a situation that you will regret and that I will not hesitate to finish."
"Understood."
Part 3
You took heed of the warning that T'Challa had given you, following him quietly into the bunker, but keeping your distance as the two of you searched it for Tony, Steve and Bucky. It was dark and cold, sending a chill through you that stabbed at your battle-weary muscles; the moisture in the air hung heavily around you and began to wet your clothes as you walked through it.
The sound of familiar voices stopped you both, pressing yourselves against the dirty wall and into the shadows so that you wouldn't be seen. "Your Highness," you whispered, finding a sudden bravery to put your hand on his arm when he tried to proceed, "wait. Listen."
"I warned you not to interfere," he snapped with a yank of his arm out of your grip.
"Please, just listen to what they're saying."
"You killed innocent people in Vienna just to bring us here?" Steve asked just loud enough for you to hear. T'Challa paused and turned to you for just a second, quickly returning his focus back to Steve, but you could see that his determination had begun to waver as he continued to listen. His understanding was immediate, but his regret for his own actions would take a little longer.
"An empire toppled by its enemies can rise again, but one which crumbles from within? That's dead... forever."
The flicker of a computer screen came to life, drawing the three men to it with faces filled with confusion and apprehensiveness. "I know that road," Tony said quietly, his eyes darting across the screen with each passing second; his reaction was becoming so pronounced that you could see the anxiety building in his body even from across the room. "What is this?"
"Come," T'Challa said with a tight grip on your arm to pull you with him when he saw Zemo step away from the light, "he's going to try to escape. We cannot let that happen." You tried to pull away, but it only furthered his resolve to make you help him; you felt a small puncture in your skin from his Vibranium claws and knew that any more resistance wouldn't end well for you. "It would be in your best interests to stay at my side. I don't think that you want to be a part of what's about to happen here."
~~~
Did you know?
I didn't know it was him.
Don't bullshit me, Rogers. Did you know?
Yes.
~~~
"Hey, Iron Jr.," you greeted Rhodes, watching him for a moment as he pulled himself along the parallel bars to try out the new leg braces that Tony had designed for him. When he looked up at you, his smile was still genuine, and you were thankful for at least that much.
"Hey, you."
"I see that Tony gave you quite the hook-up there. You seem to be adjusting pretty well?"
"Not much else I can do, right?" He took a few more steps and you could see the strain building in the muscles of his arms from holding up the bulk of his weight. There was a slight tremor of fatigue in them, but it didn't seem to slow his resolve to continue. With another step his ankle rolled slightly and he stumbled off balance only to catch himself before fully falling.
"Woah, take it easy," you gasped and reached out for him, but he raised his hand to stop you, though now avoiding your eyes. "Rhodey, come on, tell me what you need."
"It's not me who needs you," he said quietly with a small shake of his head. "You know, this here...yeah, this is a bad beat. But there's something going on in that guy's head that I'm just plain scared to see, (Y/N). In all the years that I've known him, I've never seen this."
I don't care. He killed my mom.
When you left Rhodes to find Tony, he was sitting so perfectly still that you thought he might be asleep, but the small twist of his wrist to swirl the ice in his empty glass gave him away. He didn't hear you approaching, and even when you stepped directly into his line of sight, it didn't cause a reaction either.
"Tony?"
You kneeled down on the floor in front of him, resting back on your heels as you watched for a sign that he had heard you; that he was still in there somewhere, but you received nothing. The delicate skin around his eyes was reddened and his eyes looked hollow, staring though unfocused on the ground at his feet. Again, his wrist twitched ever so slightly and jostled the melting ice cubes against the glass, but other than that, he didn't move.
"Hey, look at me," you pleaded in a whisper, your hand hovering over his knee but fearful of making contact. "Tony, what is it? What's going on in there?"
"Leave me alone, (Y/N)."
"You're gonna need to be more convincing than that, sorry."
His eyes shifted to you for the flash of a second, but he looked away again before you had a chance to react. "Leave me the fuck alone, (Y/N). Is that better?"
"Getting there."
Tony squeezed his eyes shut with a low groan in his throat, taking a long breath and opening them again slowly, his frustration with you clear and getting closer to boiling over at any moment. "He lied to me. He looked me in the eye, with those goddamn twinkly blue eyes that just ooze honesty and heroism and he lied to me."
"If he had told you the truth straight away, would it have changed anything?"
"Whose side are you on?" he snapped with a sudden fire in his eyes; a sharp contrast to the emptiness that it had replaced.
"Tony, this isn't about sides. I'm sick of taking sides."
"So, his then?"
"Are you even listening to yourself?" You hissed, pushing up to stand over him. "There are no sides anymore, Tony. The Avengers are broken. They're done."
"You don't think I know that?!" You took a step back when he shot up from his seat and stood inches away, practically screaming in your face and hurling his glass across the room with a loud crash that jolted you even though you knew what was happening.
"You guys okay?" Rhodey called out from the next room.
"We're fine," you replied, refusing to move and holding his angry stare despite your strong desire to run in any direction other than his. Tony was just as broken as the team was, and if anyone had even the slightest chance of putting him together, it was you. With Pepper gone, and Natasha who knows where, you were the only one willing to stand up to someone who didn't tolerate being challenged even on his good days. Sometimes friendship was a bitch, and sometimes so were you, because that was the only way to break through. "Is this how you're going to handle it this time Tony? With a hissy fit?"
"Fuck off."
"Make me."
It took every ounce of restraint to not flinch when his fists raised up in front of him, clenched so tightly that you could see the color draining from his fingers. He let out a loud yell in frustration and stormed past you, swiping his arm across the top of the bar to send empty glasses crashing to the hard tile floor, leaning against the top in a defeated heap with his shoulders hunched and his breaths panting.
"I'm so sick and tired of being shit on, (Y/N). I know that I can be a handful, I know that. But all I've done in the past eight years is to take this fucked up existence and finally do something right. But wouldn't ya know, every time that I try, it blows up in my face. Every. Time."
"That's not true, Tony." You took a few steps forward towards him, proceeding cautiously when you didn't know how he would react from one minute to the next. "You've done a lot of good in your life. You've done your penance and then some."
"I thought that trusting him was the right thing. I was stupid enough to think that we were friends." As he spoke, his words became broken and his voice began to fail under the strain, "I hated him for years, (Y/N)...and when I finally allow myself...to see him how dad did...I only saw him for what he...really is." He stopped suddenly and you rushed forward to catch him when you saw his knees begin to buckle and he desperately gripped the bar rail for support.
"I can't breathe..."
You took him by the shoulders and pulled him back towards you, slowly helping to lower him to sit on the floor with you at his side; wrapping your arms around him, you felt the tension gripping him and the shaking with each constricted breath. "Hey, come on, Tony, let's focus on slowing down, okay? Count to five, remember?"
"Everyone is gone...I did this..."
"Count to five, or I'll knock you out. You didn't like that choice last time, if I recall."
He eventually tried to take a slower breath, but it only broke into a quiet whimper and finally the tears that he was holding back; he leaned into you, allowing himself to rest his head against your shoulder and accept you. Tony had cried in front of you only once before and you were able to hold it together for the most part; but now, with the team torn apart and scattered, your best friend blaming himself into a full-blown panic, and your own future suddenly uncertain, you allowed yourself to show him it was okay to let it out. The two of you sat on the floor in the center of the room together, leaning on each other and crying away the pain and stress until neither of you had any more to give.
~~~
"Are you Tony Stank?"
"I'll take that," you smiled at the delivery man while Rhodey made good use of the new name for his friend. Quickly closing the door, you turned to see the two men smiling and actually laughing for the first time in days and you felt a small pang of hope. "Hey, Tony? I'll just put this in your office for later. It doesn't look urgent."
"Nah, toss it over, kiddo," he smiled with open arms to catch it.
"I uh...I think it would be better to open it later," you declined, giving him your best effort at a smile and turning to leave, but he stepped quickly in front of you and blocked your path. He yanked the box from your hands and scurried to his office with the box already open before he reached its threshold.
"What is this? (Y/N), did you know what was in here?"
"Yeah...well, no, not exactly...but, I suppose, basically...um, yeah," you stammered, well beyond even attempting to cover now. "Here," you paused, taking the letter from his hands, "let me read this." You took a seat across from him and raised your feet up to rest on his desk, growling when he slapped them off, only to relent when you put them back up. "You want me to read this or not?"
"At least take off the shoes so those heels don't scratch the glass," he mumbled, concentrating now on the flip phone that was rattling around in the bottom of the box, tipping it to fall out into his hand. "Okay, I'm lost."
"It's a phone."
"Just read the letter, smartass."
You read Steve's letter to him while he continued to study the archaic device that he kept flipping around in his hands, and you wondered if he really didn't know how to work something so simple; his tech was so exquisitely complex, that something so basic may be throwing him off. When you were done, the two of you sat in silence for several minutes, watching each other for a reaction but giving nothing. It was Tony who finally broke the uncomfortable silence.
"Do you believe him?"
"Yes."
"Why? What was it that changed your mind?"
"Well, for starters, it's my handwriting."
His face paled before your eyes and his mouth slowly hung open in surprise. It clearly wasn't anywhere near the answer that he was expecting. "Hold on, you talked to him? Do you know where he is?"
"He called me and asked that I help get this to you. But the phone was his idea," you scoffed, "no way in hell would you catch me with that thing." You leaned back in your chair and watched him thinking about what he had heard in the letter, considering what his next move would be. You could see the gears turning in his mind, and the emotions playing across his expression, when finally, he smiled weakly and nodded just slightly, taking the box in his hands and turning it over to look at the address label on its front.
"Okay, this actually says 'Stank'. I just thought that the old man couldn't read."
"Yeah, sorry about that. Clint was in charge of shipping and that guy knows how to hold a grudge. You're lucky that's all it says. I turned down some pretty colorful ideas."