Chapter Nineteen: Begin the Begin
"Listen up, people, new year, new rules." Webber told everyone as he stood on the stairs, looking around at everyone that had been gathered. "Or should I say, new year, and we will be enforcing the rules mandated by the residency review committee. There were too many mistakes made last year. Fatigue played too big a role. Exceeding eighty hours of work per week will not be tolerated."
"We get to have lives?" Meredith raised a brow at Alex and I as we all stood together.
"I get to spend time with my son." I smiled at the news.
"Or get dirty with a certain cop." Alex smirked.
"Sullivan, you were on call for twenty-eight hours. Leave when you hit thirty." Webber continued. "Grey, you were here until two am last night, see you at noon."
"I get to go? Free time?" Meredith looked surprised at the news.
"Run before he changes his mind." Alex told her.
"Oh, and, people, our nurses are gonna have to work extra hours to compensate, so treat them well." Webber added as everyone began to disperse. "Cranky nurses don't do us any good."
"Oh, well, maybe you can cheer them up." Izzie commented as she and George walked over to where Alex and I were standing. "You know what? My new year's resolution was to let it go, and I am. I have. I've let it go. I apologize."
"You do?" George looked surprised at her.
"I do." She nodded. "How'd your test go?"
"I feel pretty good about it, but I won't know for a few days." Alex shrugged.
"We're all pulling for you." Izzie told him.
"We are?" George frowned.
"We are." I smacked him on the back of the head.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Denny Duquette." Bailey smiled at the man laying in the hospital bed as Izzie, Alex, George, and I followed her into his room, Izzie and Meredith both being sent home do to the rules being enforced.
"Hey, Dr. Bailey." The man, Denny, smiled back at her.
"I hope seeing you here means they finally found you a heart." Bailey said.
"No offense, doctor, but I'm not a big fan of hospitals." Denny shook his head. "It'd take something pretty special to get me in here."
"And what do we know about Mr. Duquette?" Bailey looked around at the rest of us.
"Capricorn, single, loves to travel and cook." Denny said, his eyes trained on Izzie.
"Denny, be quiet." Bailey rolled her eyes at him. "Let her show off."
"Denny Duquette, thirty-six, admitted today for a heart transplant necessitated by a viral cardiomyopathy." Izzie presented.
"And what does that mean?" Bailey tested.
"That his heart is unable to fill and pump blood normally." Izzie told her.
"Good." Bailey nodded. "Denny, this is Dr. Stevens. She'll be tending to you prior to surgery."
"So I guess I'll be seeing you around, Dr. Stevens." Denny smiled at her as Bailey led us out of his room.
"No one enforced an eighty-hour work week when I was an intern." Bailey muttered as she led us down the hall. "A hundred and ten, a hundred and twenty hours suited me just fine. I learned more 'cause I worked more."
"Well, at least this way, you get to rest before you have the baby." George pointed out. "I mean, being that pregnant, keeping up this pace..."
"What are you saying, I look tired, O'Malley?" Bailey frowned at him.
"No, not- not tried, no." George stuttered. "You look fresh, spry. You glow. What...stop now."
"O'Malley, go with Watley and go an intake on Addison Shepherd's patient." Bailey instructed.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Dr. O'Malley. Dr. Watley." Addison greeted us as she walked into the patient's room behind us, making the girl's parents look up at her.
"Hi. Um, Mr. and Mrs. Singleton, Rebecca, this is Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd." George handled the introductions.
"You don't think it's cancer, do you?" Mrs. Singleton asked right away. "Bex is too young for cancer, right?"
"Mrs. Singleton, I'm just getting up to speed." Addison told the worried mother. "I'm sorry. Dr. Watley?"
"Rebecca's been admitted for-" I began.
"Could you stop calling me that?" Rebecca cut me off.
"She prefers Bex, not Rebecca." Mr. Singleton informed us.
"Bex has been admitted for an ultrasound guided biopsy on an enlargement of a pelvic lymph node." I started again.
"Okay." Addison nodded. "Bex, you mind if I check it out?"
"Okay, I'll just, um..." Mr. Singleton excused himself, leaving the room.
"It's a minor procedure, Bex. But we'll give you a local anesthetic to manage the pain." Addison told the young girl as she began to examine her.
"What are you drawing?" George asked her, trying to make the situation less awkward for himself.
"Just a dumb comic." Bex shrugged.
"You're really talented." George complimented her as he glanced over her notebook.
"It's big, I know." Mrs. Singleton said when Addison glanced up at her, having found the enlarged node. "It just appeared one day."
"I'll preform a biopsy this morning, and Dr. O'Malley and Dr. Watley will have to take some blood so they can run some tests." Addison told them. "Then we can start to get you some answers, okay? Mrs. Singleton, there's no need to panic. I'll keep you posted every step of the way."
"Thank you." Mrs. Singleton nodded as Addison left the room.
"Sorry about this, but I'm gonna need that arm to get some blood. I'll be quick." George told Bex as she went back to her drawing. I watched as he pulled up the sleeve of her hoodie, revealing scars on her wrist. I could feel my eyes widen slightly as I glanced up at her mother who only looked away.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Labs for Bex Singleton." George handed the labs over to Addison.
"Anything?" She asked us as she began to look through them.
"Yeah, her hormone levels- estrogen, progesterone- are sky high." George informed her.
"Huh, that's- you did a history, right?" Addison looked up at us. "Any mention of birth control pills?"
"No, but her parents were right there." I pointed out.
"Talk to her again." Addison told me.
"She hasn't hit puberty yet." George frowned. "Isn't it weird she'd be having sex?"
"These days, Dr. O'Malley, it's not that unusual." Addison shook her head before looking at me. "Talk to the patient."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hey, Bex." I greeted the girl as I returned to her room, finding her parents nowhere in sight. "Your mom and dad..."
"Food." She told me simply.
"Good, because I wanted to talk to you." I stood at the end of her bed. "We got your lab work back and it shows abnormalities in your hormone levels. So, I need to ask, have you been taking birth control pills?"
"If you tell my mom and dad, they-" Her eyes widened at my question.
"No, I won't." I promised her. "I just need to know why. Do you have a boyfriend?"
"Like anybody would want to have sex with me." She scoffed.
"Why then?" I frowned.
"I'm as flat as a board." She told me. "I took, like, five of those pills a day, and nothing's different."
"You're trying to make your breasts grow?" I frowned.
"I wanted to be normal for once in my life." She looked down at her comics. "Is this what caused the tumor?"
"No, no." I assured her. "The pills wouldn't have any effect on your lymph nodes, but the amount that you were taking is really dangerous, and it caused a pretty major hormonal imbalance. Have you been feeling different than usual?"
"I feel like I always feel." She shook her head. I couldn't help but look back at her wrist, a small frown filling my lips at the sight of the marks that littered her skin.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"See that, Dr. O'Malley, Dr. Watley?" Addison asked us as she performed the ultrasound biopsy.
"It looks like the tumor is compressing an ovary." George pointed out.
"Yeah, that's why I biopsied both ovaries." Addison nodded.
"Is that bad?" Bex asked us.
"It's really just a precaution, Bex." Addison told her. "Want to apply pressure, Dr. Watley? I'm gonna get this up to path. You two mind doing the dressings?"
"Sure." George and I both nodded.
"All right, Bex, we'll get you the results just as soon as possible." Addison promised before she left the room.
"You're a doctor." Bex said when she caught George looking at her wrists. "Haven't you seen scars before?"
"I was just trying to figure out why someone with so much talent would want to do that." George shook his head.
"It's just a comic book." Bex told him. "It's about me and my best friend Jenn when we were kids. Satisfied?"
"Does she write it with you?" George asked as I began to work on Bex's dressings.
"Jenn has a boyfriend, like everyone else." Bex shook her head. "I get to be a freak all by myself."
"Oh, a freak?" George raised a brow at her. "That's not the easiest thing to be in high school, is it?"
"You sound like my shrink." Bex frowned.
"Hey, we weren't always doctors." George glanced my way, silently asking for my help. "In high school, I was secretary and treasurer of the dungeons and dragons club."
"Oh, man." Bex and I both laughed a little at his confession.
"Yeah, I was also a mathlete." George added. "And I won the blue ribbon in biology club. Best fetal pig dissection. Ah, let me tell you, that had the girls knocking down my door. What about you, Dr. Watley?"
"Well, let's see." I pursed my lips as I thought back to my time in high school. "I was the only girl in the low brass section of the band while also being in all AP classes. I actually was awarded at a school assembly for having the best grades and GPA. Then there was also the fact that I had two jobs, something that caused a lot of the people to laugh. And, finally, I was mocked a lot, told that I was a part of the tiny titties club because mine didn't come in until after I graduated, that's when I shot up from a b to a double d."
"Really?" She looked up at me, surprised.
"You just have to get through high school." George told her. "'Cause high school sucks for anyone who's the leas bit different. But then there's college, and then out in the real world, you'll find where you fit in."
"You think so?" Bex asked, seeming skeptical.
"Yeah, I know so." George nodded.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"You paged us?" George asked as he and I walked into one of the lab rooms, finding Addison inside, looking at something through a microscope.
"Yeah, have a look at this." She took a step back, letting us look through the microscope. "It's Bex's biopsy."
"Biopsied ovary?" George looked first before stepping back, letting me have a look at it.
"Not exactly." Addison said. "Arrange a meeting with Bex's parents, George. Oh, and find out who the on call psychiatrist is, if they're available to join us."
"Does she have cancer?" George asked as I looked up from the microscope, confused.
"No." Addison shook her head. "It's not an ovary."
"It's a testis." I said.
"A testis?" George's eyes widened as he looked at the microscope again. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure." Addison confirmed.
"Bex is a hermaphrodite?" George couldn't seem to wrap his head around the idea.
"Yes." Addison nodded.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Let me get this straight." Mr. Singleton paced around the conference room as he spoke, struggling to grasp the news that Addison had just given him and his wife. "You're telling me that our daughter- my daughter- You're telling me my daughter might actually be a boy?"
"That- how is that possible?" Mrs. Singleton shook her head. "I- I don't understand. I don't understand how that-"
"Sh-shouldn't this have been detected somehow?" Mr. Singleton asked as he sat back down next to his wife.
"Externally, Bex has female genitalia. She looks like a girl." Addison tried to explain it to them again. "But internally, she has both female and male sex organs."
"So what now? What are we supposed to do?" Mrs. Singleton asked. "I- I don't understand-"
"Okay, the best news is that the lymph node tumor is benign." Addison reminded them. "So physically, Bex is going to be just fine, but emotionally, psychologically, I strongly recommend therapy."
"She's already in therapy." Mr. Singleton told us.
"I'm talking about therapy for all of you." Addison clarified. "This is not gonna be easy for Bex to hear, and it's not gonna be an easy adjustment for you to make."
"Oh, my God." Mrs. Singleton brought her hand to her mouth, tears filling her eyes.
"A big adjustment, what kind of adjustment?" Mr. Singleton frowned as he took his wife's hand in his own.
"Many intersexed people begin to identify very strongly with one sex, and it's not necessarily the sex they've been raised." The psychiatrist told them.
"She's a girl." Mrs. Singleton shook her head. "She looks like a girl. She has always been a girl."
"This at least helps explain why she feels so different." George spoke up.
"The point is, biologically and emotionally speaking, she has a choice to make." The psychiatrist stressed.
"A choice?" Mrs. Singleton frowned.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Um, excuse me." Mr. Singleton stopped George, Addison, and I as we walked down the hall, his wife by his side. "Um, Mary and I were talking, and, uh, we think Bex should stay-"
"She can't handle this." Mrs. Singleton took over for her husband. "You saw the scars."
"Wait, you're not gonna tell her?" George frowned. "But this could help her. You can't not tell her who she is."
"Dr. O'Malley." Addison gave him a warning look before looking back at the parents in front of us. "Uh, we'll go ahead and proceed with the scheduled surgery to remove the tumor, and then you can talk to your daughter in your own time."
"Actually, we're thinking..." Mrs. Singleton trailed off.
"We thought, since you're already gonna be in there, uh..." Mr. Singleton glanced down at his hands for a moment. "We know fixed isn't the right word, but-"
"We were thinking that with the hormonal confusion, it might be easier on her to remove whatever boy parts she has." Mrs. Singleton said, glancing around at all three of us.
"Keep her more of a girl." Mr. Singleton nodded.
"Just to be clear, you're asking me to perform sexual reassignment surgery on your daughter?" Addison clarified.
"Yes." They both nodded.
"Without her knowing?" I couldn't hold my tongue any longer as I frowned at the parents.
"All she's said all her life is that she wants to be normal." Mr. Singleton said. "She doesn't feel normal."
"Why can't we just put an end to her agony?" Mrs. Singleton asked.
"Well, first of all, removing her male sexual organs may not do that." Addison told them. "In fact, it could do just the opposite."
"But her hormones-" Mrs. Singleton began.
"Can be controlled with an oral medication." George cut her off.
"We just want the best for Bex." Mr. Singleton insisted.
"To do surgery and alter her body permanently is-" Addison shook her head. "Well, I just would never do that to someone who's unaware of the procedure, and you're gonna be hard pressed to find a surgeon who will."
"Bex will learn the truth, someday. How do you want her to find out?" George told the couple before he walked away, following Addison.
"Mr. and Mrs. Singleton, look, I can't begin to imagine what you're going through right now and I'm not going to pretend that I can." I crossed my arms over my chest as I spoke. "One thing I can tell you though, is that I'm a mother. I understand the need to protect your child from anything that can hurt them. But, what you're asking Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd to do, it's not right. It'll hurt Bex just as much as anything else you could do to her. Yes, she's upset and confused, but she deserves to know the truth. She deserves to make this choice for herself, not you."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Did you tell my parents about the pill?" Bex asked me when I checked up on her later that afternoon.
"No." I shook my head. "I promised I wouldn't, so I didn't."
"Am I gonna die?" She asked. "Is that what no one wants to tell me?"
"Of course not." I assured her.
"Then why are my parents acting so..." She trailed off. "Will you just tell me what's going on?"
"What's going on is that we're prepping you for surgery to remove the lymph node tumor that's compressing your..." I trailed off, not wanting to lie to her.
"Ovary." She finished for me. I looked up from her chart, wanting nothing more than to tell her the truth as Addison and George led her parents into the room.
"Hey, Bex, how you doin'?" Addison asked.
"Mom, Dad, this is really freaking me out." Bex was honest with them as I handed her chart over to Addison.
"Oh, no, everything's gonna be fine, Bex." Mrs. Singleton promised her daughter.
"It's okay, sweetie." Mr. Singleton nodded.
"I'm having surgery to remove a tumor that's compressing my ovary, right, Bethany? George?" Bex looked between George and I, just waiting for one of us to slip up. I only looked at her, as did George, neither of us wanting to lie, to go along with the rouse her parents were insisting on.
"Dr. O'Malley? Dr. Watley?" Addison raised her brows at both of us.
"George?" Bex pressed. "Bethany?"
"What, are we just supposed to lie to her?" George asked Addison.
"Okay. That's enough." Addison shook her head. "Dr. O'Malley, please leave the room."
"He's right." I shook my head, agreeing with my friend.
"Dr. Watley, you may leave too." Addison told me.
"No, wait." Bex stopped us. "Tell me what's wrong with me. What is wrong with me?"
"Bex...we learned that your tumor, it's not compressing an ovary." Mr. Singleton admitted to his daughter.
"Then where is it?" Bex asked.
"It's on a testes." Mrs. Singleton said.
"Like a testicle?" Bex asked, surprised. "I have testicles?"
"Yes, one." Addison nodded. "Bex, this is a tremendous amount of information for you-"
"And I've had it my whole life." Bex cut her off. "Oh, my God. Does this mean...does this mean I could be a boy?"
"Bex, give us a moment." Addison told her as she led the rest of us out into the hallway.
"You engineered that conversation." Mrs. Singleton accused me as soon as we stepped into the hallway, glaring daggers at me. "You forced our hand."
"Well, you were lying to her." I shook my head.
"We were protecting her." Mr. Singleton disagreed.
"She's a fourteen year old girl." Mrs. Singleton stressed.
"Maybe. Maybe not." I shrugged.
"This isn't your life. This isn't your child!" Mrs. Singleton glared at me, George and Addison just standing back. "Fourteen years, fourteen years we have raised a daughter, and in one afternoon, you expect us to- what? What is Bex supposed to do? How is she supposed to go home and tell the other kids- what? You had no right."
"Dr. Watley-" Addison began.
"No, I know." I shook my head as I began to walk away. "I'm off the case."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Are you all right?" Lucas asked me as he drove me home the evening, the others having gotten off before me.
"I got kicked off a case today." I informed him, resting my head back against the seat. "I made a decision, one that I knew my boss and patient's parents wouldn't agree with, and still went through with it. I did it knowing that it could very well get me fired."
"What'd you do?" He glanced at me for a second before returning his gaze to the road.
"I pretty much told the parents to grow up and do what was right for their daughter, then later trapped them into telling her that she has a testicle and can be a boy if she wants to." I shrugged, as though it were the most common thing in the world. "How was your day?"
"Not that interesting." He shook his head. "Mostly paperwork."
"And here I thought dating a cop would get me some cool stories." I teased as he pulled into the driveway. "Stay for dinner? Izzie told me that they were ordering pizza."
"Sounds delicious." He nodded, turning off his car. We both got out and I led the way up to the door, unlocking it before heading over to the stairs. "Won't the pizza be in the kitchen?"
"Nope." I shook my head as I led him up the stairs and down the hall to where the bathroom door was closed. I opened it, revealing Izzie, George, and Joel all sitting on the bathroom floor eating pizza. "Hey."
"Hi Mom." Joel smiled up at me with a mouthful of pizza before he looked at Lucas, having met him at Christmas. "Hi Lucas."
"Hey Joel." Lucas smiled as we sat of the floor with them. "So, is this where you guys always have your pizza? The bathroom?"
"Only when there's a crazy dog in the house." George shook his head as Lucas and I each grabbed a slice of the pizza.
"What?" Lucas look to me for an explanation.
"You don't eat laundry. Bad dog. Bad dog." We all heard Meredith yelling at Doc out in the hall, making us laugh as she slipped into the bathroom with her arms full of clothes, slamming the door shut behind her.
"Crazy dog." I smiled as I watched Meredith toss the clothes down by the door before walking over to George, sitting down by him and grabbing a slice of pizza.