The past month has been a whirlwind. I can't believe Tobias and I have already been dating for almost two months. Tobias has not only been an incredible boyfriend, but Zoe has grown attached to him too, especially since he started coming to hang out on the weekends. Zoe asked if she could stay home with Tobias and I on her weekend with Helen so she could get to know Tobias more. While I didn't mind too much, a small part of me was a little disappointed that we wouldn't have any alone time.
During that weekend, Zoe asked if Tobias would teach some simple moves to her friends at her birthday party. He couldn't have been more thrilled, spending several nights afterwards making a lesson for the party. While I thought he did an amazing job teaching, I don't think he was prepared for eight screaming little girls hyped up on sugar. He was all too happy to let Christina take over with nails when he finished. The memory still brings a smile to my lips of when I found him lying on the bed after his Aikido session with them.
**********
I find him on his back, sprawled across my bed with his arms over his face. I smile, closing the door behind me so the girls won't find him. "How do people do that every day? Teachers have my complete and total respect." He groans.
I chuckle. "Well Tobias, to be fair, most teachers aren't having to deal with children that have had cake and ice cream just before their class."
He removes his arms looking at me, "I don't think I could do that with kids every week. I don't know if they understood even half of what I was trying to teach them."
I come over sitting next to him, gently rubbing his arm. "Tobias, don't worry about the other kids. You can judge your teaching skills on Zoe later. I think you'll be surprised how much she'll retain."
He sighs, sitting up, but looks at the floor, "I don't know if I would be any good at doing this."
I kiss him lightly on the cheek, "Tobias, look at me. It's a birthday party. It was for fun. Don't judge your worth as a teacher just on one party. Look at what you were able to do for me. I don't have to take Eric's class anymore because of you. That should tell you right there that you are an amazing teacher."
He finally smiles, placing his head on my shoulder. "You're right. I'm so glad you don't have to deal with that asshole anymore."
I chuckle, "Me too. Now come on, we still have to set up the movie and popcorn next, and then we get to send them back to their homes." I stand up, starting to head toward the door.
He grabs me around the waist, pulling me down so that I'm sitting on his lap. He runs his nose along the length of my jaw, whispering in my ear, "What if I don't want to? What if all I want to do is kiss you?" At those words, he begins kissing down my neck, his hand raises the hem of my shirt, touching my stomach going slowly higher, raising gooseflesh over my body. A moan escapes me due to the pleasure of his lips and the feel of his rough hands on my skin.
"Then you get to explain to Zoe and her friends the awkward position they find us in." My voice is breathy, since it's difficult to form complete sentences at the moment.
He places his forehead to my shoulder, sighing. "Fine."
**********
I look in the mirror one last time, adjusting my shirt. Tobias invited me to meet his mentor, Amar, and his husband, George, for dinner tonight. Christina is taking Zoe since it's not one of my free weekends.
I'm not sure how this night is going to go. What if they don't like me? What if they think I'm not right, or not good enough for Tobias? What if Tobias decides that because they don't like me, he'll find someone better?
I shake my head. I can't think like that. I would hope nothing like that would happen. I know I have my insecurities, but surely he wouldn't leave me because they said they didn't like me. I feel a tightness in my chest at the thought of losing him, and try to take a calming breathe to relieve the tension. I know what I'm feeling, but I'm not sure if we are there yet. I'm honestly scared he'll leave if I say it too quickly.
I'm snapped out of my thoughts as Tobias knocks on the door, "Tris? Ready to go?" I sigh. Here we go. I step out to a smiling Tobias.
He comes over to me, placing his hands on my hips, kissing my forehead. "You look beautiful. Are you ready?"
"Um...I think so." Looking down at my shoes. Nerves twisting my stomach into knots.
He gently pulls my chin up so I meet his eyes. "Don't worry Tris. I think Amar and George are really going to like you."
"You know, I feel like I'm going to meet your parents for the first time." I lay my head on his chest, feeling his heart beat gently against my cheek, trying to reassure myself that this meeting won't go badly. I remember meeting Matthew's mother for the first time, but it just seems this meeting has so much more weight to it. Amar and George mean so much to Tobias. They have done so much for him when his parents didn't.
He breathes in deeply, but I can feel the tension in his arms that are around me. "Well, you really don't have to worry about them. I cut ties with my father the moment I turned eighteen, and my mother passed away years ago. These are just really good friends Tris. That's all."
I pull back, looking down, still not satisfied with his answer. "Yeah, but they've been there for you when your parents weren't. I feel like I need to make a good impression." My voice is barely above a whisper as I say that part that is the hardest to get out. "What if they don't like me?"
His hand caresses my cheek, causing me to look up. His eyes are an intense blue, "Tris, you have nothing to worry about. I...", but then he stops, his jaw clinching. It looks like he wants to add something, but just keeps looking at me. He sighs, "You're perfect to me. That's all that matters. They won't be able to not like you." He kisses me softly, "Come on, or we'll be late."
**********
We're standing in front of the restaurant, but I just can't seem to stand still. I can't really pace right now since Tobias has a firm grip on my hand, rubbing circles, trying to be soothing. I'm trying to keep my mind from panicking and start looking at the flyers in the window for local bands, the various permits the restaurant has, and the credit cards the restaurant accepts. There is a local newspaper that I've tried to read the front page of several times, but I just can't seem to focus on the words for longer than a few seconds.
Tobias keeps squeezing my hand, smiling at me, "Tris, it's fine. Calm down. It's going to be alright. I promise." I'm about to argue, when two men approach us.
"Hey Four!" one of the men says. He's tall, with dark brown hair that has flecks of grey throughout, but has a kind face. The other has black hair, is slightly shorter than Amar, but appears to be more reserved.
"Amar! George! It's so good to see you guys." Tobias extends his hand to who I think is Amar, then they pull into a quick hug. He repeats the process with George, before turning to me. "Guys, this is Tris. Tris this is Amar and George."
I extend my hand to each, "It's a pleasure to meet you both. T...Four has told me so much about you." Shit. I about slipped his real name. I don't know if these men even know it. I bite down on my lip before I let anything else slip I shouldn't.
Amar looks at Tobias, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah, I told her." He says with a smile.
Amar looks slightly shocked, but recovers quickly. "Tris, I don't think I've ever really seen him this happy. You really are good for him. Thank you for taking care of him." He winks at Tobias, "Especially when we weren't here to check on him."
I smile, my nerves finally starting to leave me. "Thank you Amar, but he's taken care of me just as much as I've taken care of him." Tobias pulls me to his side, kissing my forehead. Amar and George smile at the gesture. Maybe tonight won't be so bad. They really are just concerned for the well-being of their friend.
Amar motions toward the door. "Should we go get something to eat? I'm starving."
Tobias takes my hand, following Amar and George into the restaurant. The waitress leads us to the outside patio since it's nice out for late September. I'm glad it seems my fears for tonight were misplaced.
**********
I can understand why Tobias looks up to Amar and George so much. The conversation has been incredibly entertaining. They've been retelling stories of when they first met Tobias, and how proud they are of him for what he has accomplished here in Atlanta. They've been interested to know that I work as a therapist, and I've shared some of my stories, enjoying their reactions to some of my more humorous tales.
Amar is trying to convince Tobias that he might do better with teaching if he found a dojo here in Atlanta to join. I'm enjoying listening to the two of them argue, interjecting my own comment now and then, when I realize George has been awfully quite, especially since he is the one that probably needs to be adding his voice to this argument.
I look over to George, and notice his forehead has a sheen of sweat across it. His eyes are closed, and he keeps rubbing his chest in apparent discomfort. It's warm on the patio where we're seated, but not that warm. I can't help but feel my panic rise slightly.
I lean over and whisper so Amar and Tobias don't hear. I don't want them to worry when it might turn out to be nothing. Please let it be nothing. "George? Are you ok?"
George looks up, discomfort still written on his face, "Yeah. I think I've just got some indigestion from dinner is all."
Please don't be what I think it is. Lord, please let me be wrong. This is going too well. What will Tobias do if something happens to his friend? "I've got some antacids in my purse. Would you like one?"
He nods his head, continuing to rub his chest.
I reach into my purse pulling out my pill container. I pull out an antacid, and notice the small aspirins I keep in there as well. I give him one of each, just in case, but in his rush for relief, he doesn't notice the other pill. He begins drinking some of his water chasing the pills.
Before I can say anything about the extra pill, Amar finally seems to notice his partner's pain. "George? Are you ok?" His voice laced with concern.
George pulls a smile, but it's very forced. The pain is still evident, and it only appears to be getting worse. "I'm fine. It's just heartburn. Tris gave me something. It should stop here shortly." Amar starts to smile, saying something about my helpfulness, but my eyes stay focused on George. With the attention off him, I notice his smile slid from his face and his breathing is starting to sound harsh. He starts turning white as his hand drops into his lap, his head starting to roll to the side. Fuck!
I react as George's eyes start to roll into the back of his head, throwing my chair backwards, not caring who or what it hits. I reach George just has he starts to slide sideways. I move his lifeless body to the ground, trying to be careful with him. I put my fingers to his neck, searching for a pulse. Not looking at Tobias I yell, "Tobias, call 911! He's having a heart attack!" I still haven't found a pulse, and rip at the buttons of his shirt, desperate to get to his chest to start compressions.
I place my hands in the correct position, and start pressing on his chest, counting out my compressions. I know what's coming, but as I feel the bones of his ribs begin to break under my fingers, I start to feel sick knowing that I'm breaking him more.
The silence is pressing on my ears. I can feel every eye on me. No one is saying anything. I quickly look back to Tobias and see he hasn't moved. He's frozen in shock. I need him to stay with me. I need his help right now. I can't do this by myself.
Desperate to spur him into action I yell, "Tobias! Now!" Tobias jumps, and finally begins moving, pulling his phone from his pocket, as I return to my chest compressions.
A waitress comes over, and before she can say anything I yell, "If you have an AED get it now!" The waitress takes off running, which I hope is a sign that they have one.
I have to stay focused, and pull George's head back enough to give him breathes, then continue with the compressions. With my counting, it seems the numbers have three words attached to them. Even with my best effort to try and shove them away, I can't get rid of them. So I do the only thing I can and it make them my mantra. Repeating them over and over with each compression. Please don't die. Please don't die. Please don't die.