Tobin's POV
Day 2 on camp was mostly getting settled in and going over schedules, plans, etc. We trained individually, whatever we wanted to do when we didn't have anything on the agenda really. Everyone was busy running around, and thankfully I didn't see Alex at all.
The afterthoughts of our meeting has been that yes, seeing her was hard, but no not as hard as I feared. It's probably unfair to say, but it looked like it was worse for her, which kinda made me the slightest bit happy.
After all, we all know it was mostly her decision to call it off. She broke my heart.
I thought Alex was the girl of my dreams honestly, there's no point in lying about that. I loved her. But I know now that I have so much more to give. Our chapter is over, and I don't regret closing that book. Alex is a good person and I'm sure she's gonna make someone very happy, just not me.
For the record, I have forgiven her. It's been about 7 months since the nastiest parts, and it's taken me longer than I care to admit to get over her, but I did. And along with the 'getting over' process, there has to be some type of forgiveness. If I was still mad I wouldn't be over her, it's as easy as that.
That doesn't mean I'll enjoy seeing her every day on camp though. I wish we had maybe eased into this a little, the whole 'being friends' part. Cause that is what's gonna happen now, we don't have a choice. For the sake of the team, the whole freaking nation.
**
"Hi there, stranger." Kelley walked over to me and sat down. I was in the locker room after working out for a couple hours. "Hi." I smiled, shaking the last thoughts out of my head.
"You doing okay?" She continued, giving me a comforting look. Kelley and I used to be very close, and I guess we still are. It's just after everything went done with Alex, it sort of just happened that she got Kelley and I got Press. It only made sense that Kelley would be there for Alex, I remember saying I wanted her to.
She did come to me after it all went down, asking if I got mad at her for still being a lot with Alex. I answered that I was glad Alex had her, and I am. I had Christen, and she was the most amazing person for me through that whole thing. I wouldn't let Kelley having to choose between us either, so it was the only right thing to do. But I made her promise not to give up on me completely. She didn't, and we still talk and hang out, but it's not as it used to.
"Yeah." I answered her question, putting my arm around her. "I miss you, Kell." I whined, pulling her in for a hug.
"Ugh, you're sweaty." She joked with a smile, before pulling me in tighter.
"I miss you too." She continued, sounding a little sad.
"I never wanted it to go down like this." She pulled away, more serious now. "For me to be so, I don't know, 'team Alex'?" She used quotation marks in the air, still looking sad. "Alex is just really vulnerable right now, and she's not taking it as-" I stopped her by saying her name. She paused, and looked at me.
"I know you never meant to 'pick a side', or whatever. It's okay." I assured her, feeling bad for not noticing how this has clearly been bothering her. "I'm okay, really." I said, convincing. I was glad I was able to say that without lying. I am okay.
"You know what, I actually believe that." She said, after searching my eyes for indications. I smiled, again making sure she had no doubts. "But is she really, I mean, she's okay though, right?" I looked back up after a moment of thoughts again. She said Alex was feeling 'vulnerable' and maybe not taking it as well. I'll admit I wanted her to suffer a little at one point, but now, like 7 months later, I'd assume she was doing fine.
"She's not as strong as you, Tobin." Kelley spoke after taking a deep breath. "Wha- I'm not." I was confused to her statement. I'm not strong. The only reason I'm still standing is, well thanks to Christen. She picked me up, not me. I didn't do much at all.
"I know you don't think you are, but just look at you. Honestly, I was afraid that after a breakup like that I would lose you completely. You were my concern, not Alex." Kelley spoke honest.
"But tables turned quickly when I saw you being so, I don't know the word, brave? Fierce? You refused to let it break you." She smiled a little before returning to serious. "Alex, not so much. I probably shouldn't tell you this, but she's been a mess, Tobin." She looked more sad again now, and I assume my facial expression mirrored hers pretty well.
The one and only Alex Morgan was not a mess, and certainly not because of me. I refuse to believe that. The Alex I knew would never let that take her down, but well the Alex I knew would never break my heart either. So I guess I never knew that Alex, not really.
"Hey, don't beat yourself up over this." Kelley put her fingers under my chin to lift up my head. "She brought this on herself honestly, it was like she wanted a reason to break down. Something to blame her new behavior on." She continued, seemingly just thinking out loud while she spoke.
I was about to say something, when we heard voices from the hall. Kelley cleared her throat, giving me a comforting smile before getting up.
"Hey guys," Mallory appeared smiling behind the door. "Wanna play a friendly two on two?" Moe added, stepping up beside the younger player. Kelley looked at me, and I nodded towards her. "We're in." She smiled excited.
**
Christen's POV
"Let's go, Press." Ashlyn yelled, clapping her hands eagerly. We had decided to work out together, not my smartest move. I've been distracted today, worrying mostly I guess. Tobin has been alone all day, I just couldn't stand not knowing how she was doing.
Besides, Ashlyn is killing me. How can someone that sweet be so hard.
"And time." She stopped me, finally letting me rest. I crashed onto the floor, my body raising at the speed of my heart. "Good work." Ashlyn bent down next to me, patting my shoulder.
"Now wanna tell me what's going on with you?" She continued, her face remaining the same calmness. "What? Nothing, nothing's going-" I got caught off by a single 'Chris', and a look that forced me to speak. I knew this would happen eventually, I always spill my gut to Ashlyn. I took a deep breath, my chest finally slowing down.
"It's Tobin." I started, not quite sure where to being. I looked up to see her just staring at me, waiting for me to elaborate. "She's just, I don't know, with Alex here and maybe she's not as okay as she seems. What if Alex-" I once again got cut off, by a waving hand now.
"We both know this is not about Alex and Tobin." She gave me a look I couldn't read. I was confused. "This is about you and Tobin." She continued, making it clear. I wasn't going to deny anything, Ashlyn probably had it all figured out already. "How did you know?" I couldn't help myself but ask, I never actually told her. "Press, it's rather obvious." She laughed lightly, now standing up. She offered me her hand and I took it. "I see the way she looks at you, and girl you gotta make a move soon." She continued, smiling cheeky now.
"Ash." I pushed her lightly in her shoulder, trying really hard not to blush. "I don't want that, or well I don't know, but even if I did. It doesn't matter, she doesn't see me that way. Besides, I can't do that to Alex." There was so many reasons why Tobin and I shouldn't take things any further. I don't even think she seems me as anything more than a friend.
"That's bullshit. You're just making up excuses because you're scared." Ashlyn always tries to hit the core of the problem, not walking around the bushes. "Of course I'm scared." I blurted out, not sure if I wanted to say that or not. "I'm scared she doesn't feel the same way, I'm scared it'll ruin our friendship, I'm scared it'll affect my game, hers. I could go on forever." I continued my blurting of words, not even knowing where they came from. I didn't even know this was how I really felt. Damn Ashlyn Harris for reading me like an open book.
"You'll never know if you don't try." A simple but great sentence in response from the goalkeeper. Why am I not surprised.
**
It was later than I realized when we headed out, and I decided to not do much tonight. I wanted to relax in my room, well our room. Tobin and I shared the hotel room, seeing as Jill had asked if anyone had any wished this time. We're usually just assigned them, but probably considering things are slightly different around here she made an exception. Ashlyn and Alex were on as always, but Kelley and Ali were now roomies as well. I think it's really just a facade to the rest of the group that everything's fine, but in reality Kelley will mostly stay with Alex and Ashlyn with Ali.
Ashlyn told me she hadn't talked much to Alex lately, that she thought she had changed a little. The same as Kelley said pretty much. It worries me that Alex has been shutting out her friends, but I can't be the one to help her.
I hadn't heard anything from Tobin, but didn't want to be too 'overprotective' either.
I reached my room, only to find it wasn't empty. It made me happy to see Tobin asleep on her bed, still in her training gear. I didn't wanna wake her up, but my bag did that all by itself when it smashed to the floor unintentionally.
"Sorry." I mumbled, when she opened her eyes slowly. She looked confused for a brief second, before smiling at me. "Hi." She said in her adorable sleepy voice, rubbing the sleepiness out of her eyes. "What time is it?" She continued, searching for something. I picked up her phone from the nightstand, handing it to her with a smirk. "You know me too well, Press." She laughed, leaning back down in the bed. "Mal totally worn me out today, that little one never gets tired." She continued, smiling at her phone. "Same with Ash, she's a monster." I laughed, sitting down on the bed next to her.
"I was thinking I'd just watch a movie or something tonight, are you in?" I asked, now feeling more relaxed than I had all day.
"For sure. Can we please do horror?" She said excited, giving me those puppy eyes I couldn't resist. "Fine." I rolled my eyes. "But get a shower first, you stink." I added.
We both showered and got into more comfortable clothing. I was pulling my hair into a messy bun, messy because I can't make actual buns look good, when Tobin yelled from the other room.
"Hurry, I'm gonna eat all the popcorn." She mumbled, probably with her mouth full. "You know we're probably not supposed to-" My words got caught in my throat. It was like they just disappeared under my breath at the sight of Tobin.
I do this too often, the amount having increased rapidly lately. She was lying on the bed, pony tail and sweatpants. She was so effortlessly beautiful, it knocked me out.
"eat that?" She turned to me, finishing my sentence. I don't think she noticed my staring. "I know, but it's so good." She answered her own question, waving me over towards her. "Come live on the wild side with me, Press." She joked, having the biggest grin on her face.
I sat down, squeezing into the one bed, even though mine had the exact same view of the tv. We were so close I could feel her warmth on my skin, getting that familiar sense of safety. We stayed like this during the movie, we didn't move or talk much. It was a comfortable silence.
"Can I ask you something?"
Tobin spoke up, still looking at the screen. "Sure." I answered, slightly viewing her side profile. "Did I make you pick a side?" She said thoughtful, now turning to face me. "I mean, you let me stay with you for weeks after. I was there 24/7, you never got the chance to see how Alex was doing in all this." She blurted out, now turning around to face me. I was confused. "Where is this coming from?" I asked, not quite sure what she wanted me to say. She was thinking about Alex. That shouldn't surprise me the slightest considering, it just feels a little bit like a slap in the face when I'm only thinking of her. I know that's not fair of me though.
"I never gave you a choice to help Alex." She continued, looking as she was on the edge of tears. I was completely lost in this. Where is she going with this.
"I didn't want to help, Alex." I said back, confident in my words. Her eyes glowed like they we're on fire. "I wanted to help you." I added, reaching out to take her hand. "What's going on, Tobin?" I continued, when she just kept staring at me. She sighed deeply. "I don't deserve you." She breather out, I could barley hear her. "You're too good to me." She continued quickly, louder now. "I'm not-" I started, but she interrupted me. "Christen, I got over Alex so fast, and I never questioned it. I figured it was because she broke my heart and the anger helped me realize I deserved better." She spoke more calm now, stroking my hand with her thumb as she spoke. "But it wasn't?" I asked, when she didn't say anything else. She let out a breath, sort of like a quick laugh. "No." She looked up to meet my eyes again. "The reason is you." She tasted the words as she said them, like she was shocking herself as well as me by her words. "For the last seven months, you've been the closest thing to home for me honestly. You've been so amazing, and I've taken you for granted." A tear fell down her cheek, and I hurried to wipe it away with my free hand. I stroke her a few times more than necessary, whispering her name.
Before I could say another word, I felt her lips crash onto mine.