It Was Always Her (Preath)

Chapter 2 - The Kiss

Tobin's POV

Day 2 on camp was mostly getting settled in and going over schedules, plans, etc. We trained individually, whatever we wanted to do when we didn't have anything on the agenda really. Everyone was busy running around, and thankfully I didn't see Alex at all.
The afterthoughts of our meeting has been that yes, seeing her was hard, but no not as hard as I feared. It's probably unfair to say, but it looked like it was worse for her, which kinda made me the slightest bit happy.
After all, we all know it was mostly her decision to call it off. She broke my heart.

I thought Alex was the girl of my dreams honestly, there's no point in lying about that. I loved her. But I know now that I have so much more to give. Our chapter is over, and I don't regret closing that book. Alex is a good person and I'm sure she's gonna make someone very happy, just not me.
For the record, I have forgiven her. It's been about 7 months since the nastiest parts, and it's taken me longer than I care to admit to get over her, but I did. And along with the 'getting over' process, there has to be some type of forgiveness. If I was still mad I wouldn't be over her, it's as easy as that.
That doesn't mean I'll enjoy seeing her every day on camp though. I wish we had maybe eased into this a little, the whole 'being friends' part. Cause that is what's gonna happen now, we don't have a choice. For the sake of the team, the whole freaking nation.

**

"Hi there, stranger." Kelley walked over to me and sat down. I was in the locker room after working out for a couple hours. "Hi." I smiled, shaking the last thoughts out of my head.
"You doing okay?" She continued, giving me a comforting look. Kelley and I used to be very close, and I guess we still are. It's just after everything went done with Alex, it sort of just happened that she got Kelley and I got Press. It only made sense that Kelley would be there for Alex, I remember saying I wanted her to.

She did come to me after it all went down, asking if I got mad at her for still being a lot with Alex. I answered that I was glad Alex had her, and I am. I had Christen, and she was the most amazing person for me through that whole thing. I wouldn't let Kelley having to choose between us either, so it was the only right thing to do. But I made her promise not to give up on me completely. She didn't, and we still talk and hang out, but it's not as it used to.

"Yeah." I answered her question, putting my arm around her. "I miss you, Kell." I whined, pulling her in for a hug.
"Ugh, you're sweaty." She joked with a smile, before pulling me in tighter.
"I miss you too." She continued, sounding a little sad.
"I never wanted it to go down like this." She pulled away, more serious now. "For me to be so, I don't know, 'team Alex'?" She used quotation marks in the air, still looking sad. "Alex is just really vulnerable right now, and she's not taking it as-" I stopped her by saying her name. She paused, and looked at me.
"I know you never meant to 'pick a side', or whatever. It's okay." I assured her, feeling bad for not noticing how this has clearly been bothering her. "I'm okay, really." I said, convincing. I was glad I was able to say that without lying. I am okay.
"You know what, I actually believe that." She said, after searching my eyes for indications. I smiled, again making sure she had no doubts. "But is she really, I mean, she's okay though, right?" I looked back up after a moment of thoughts again. She said Alex was feeling 'vulnerable' and maybe not taking it as well. I'll admit I wanted her to suffer a little at one point, but now, like 7 months later, I'd assume she was doing fine.
"She's not as strong as you, Tobin." Kelley spoke after taking a deep breath. "Wha- I'm not." I was confused to her statement. I'm not strong. The only reason I'm still standing is, well thanks to Christen. She picked me up, not me. I didn't do much at all.
"I know you don't think you are, but just look at you. Honestly, I was afraid that after a breakup like that I would lose you completely. You were my concern, not Alex." Kelley spoke honest.
"But tables turned quickly when I saw you being so, I don't know the word, brave? Fierce? You refused to let it break you." She smiled a little before returning to serious. "Alex, not so much. I probably shouldn't tell you this, but she's been a mess, Tobin." She looked more sad again now, and I assume my facial expression mirrored hers pretty well.
The one and only Alex Morgan was not a mess, and certainly not because of me. I refuse to believe that. The Alex I knew would never let that take her down, but well the Alex I knew would never break my heart either. So I guess I never knew that Alex, not really.
"Hey, don't beat yourself up over this." Kelley put her fingers under my chin to lift up my head. "She brought this on herself honestly, it was like she wanted a reason to break down. Something to blame her new behavior on." She continued, seemingly just thinking out loud while she spoke.