Before You Leave The House, Don't Forget To Put On That Fake Smile.
It's a good thing I'm used to pain.
If I didn't, I highly doubt my chances of survival.
I cannot tolerate anymore pain than I am already going through.
I can't take much more. I am at my limit.
Whenever I feel like I'm going to crumble.
Like my world is falling apart, so much that I can hardly hold back the tears, the screams of pain.
I smile.
I smile because I've worn that same fake smile for so long, that it almost even fools me..
I pretend to be alright, when inside I'm screaming from the pain. I laugh and smile, but I can literally feel my demons shredding my insides to pieces.
Why does this always happen?
I'm so sick of pain.
I don't ask for help.
I'd rather cry on my own.
I'd rather scream as loud as I want; on my own.
I'd rather be alone.
I fake that smile,
not for the world to think I'm okay.
But to try and convince myself that I'm okay.
That I'm not losing the battle.
That I will pull through.
That I will conquer.
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- Jade xx