--- 31 ---
*Chase Lancaster*
I couldn’t sleep. My mind was as far from sleeping as I was from my father. I was aware of the time ticking away yet the morning seemed decades away. Even as I forced myself to close my eyes and sleep, I couldn’t; all night.
Not because I wasn’t in my room or that I was lying on the sofa in the penthouse that wasn’t mine but because… She was on my mind.
Arianna.
Even hours later, I couldn’t shrug off the feel of her lips against mine, the touch of her hand on my cheek and the way her fingers felt as they strangled in my hair playfully. I haven’t done anything like that with anyone before. It was always sex –meaningless sex.
But with her tonight, it was different. It was sensational. I had never known the real pleasure of just getting to know each other while making out. For a moment there, I really thought of us as a real couple…
I chuckled at my stupid thought. Us and real couple? Doesn’t seem possible.
Yeah we were together, married but we just couldn’t be like everyone else. Like the normal couple. Maybe we acted like them, be like them and stay like them but we weren’t close to be a couple.
She was so close… just in the other room, sleeping peacefully in the cozy bed yet we were worlds apart. She was far from me. She was in love. With someone else, who was there before me and who would be there after me…
It pierced my heart to even think of her thinking about Montgomery! Sometimes I wished I could have her all for myself! Don’t know why all of a sudden I hated the thought of her being with him.
I was being selfish, I told myself. I was just possessive about her because she was my responsibility… that didn’t mean I was crazy about her. I just didn’t like her with anyone else… but that didn’t mean I like her.
I stole her from someone else and now I wanted to keep her with me even though I know I wasn’t in love with her…
Or was I?
I just love touching her… just feel her… stay with her… that didn’t mean I loved her…
“What the hell are you thinking Chase?”
*Arianna Lancaster*
Chase seemed distant all morning. All the way from my penthouse to his and then to the school after changing in our uniforms and having breakfast, he wasn’t himself.
I couldn’t guess anything. He talked a little, smiled even less and didn’t quite look me in the eye. I wondered what was wrong. I tried asking but he just shrugged.
What could possibly go wrong after that tremendous night?
It had kept me awake all night. I was stirred… excited. I had never felt so good all my life. I wondered how I’d feel when all of this was over… when Chase and I will go our separate ways…
And suddenly I didn’t want to think about it. I hated thinking about later…
So I tried to concentrate on what Mr. Lawrence was saying while Chase fiddled with his fingers absent mindedly. I didn’t mind that since at least he was attending the class which was a miracle itself. Of what I knew, Chase barely attended any class. And this was his third he was attending with me.
Maybe he was just sticking with me.
Yeah he was. As soon as the class was over, he slipped his hand in mine walking me with him. Without any word he pulled me with him in the guy’s toilet. I gasped loudly as the guys in there turned to gape at me.
“Chase! What’re you doing?” I hissed, trying to free my hand from him.
“You don’t mind, do you?” ignoring me, he asked the guys who were all watching me rather strangely. I flushed.
“Sure…” “Whatever you say…” “Fine.” Some of them mumbled hesitantly making me even more embarrassed.
Chase had to let me go eventually. Totally humiliated, I turned to face the wall. I could feel the thick tension building up and I knew if Chase didn’t hurry, things would explode. I could almost feel the guys silently cursing me. The dead quietness –except for the running tap or the urination almost made me gag.
After what seemed like eternity, Chase finally let me out.
“What the hell was that?” I almost yelled at him.
“Sorry about that.” He passed me an apologetic look that made him look so innocent I wanted to pull him to me. I rolled my eyes at him, grasping his arm and pulled him in corner.
“What is wrong with you Chase?” I asked intently.
He frowned a little. “What’d you mean?”
“I mean something’s wrong. What is it?”
“Nothing.” He shrugged carelessly.
“It’s not nothing!” I hissed, frowning deeply. “You’re not yourself. You’re acting weird.” In the back of my mind I thought I knew the reason. Maybe he regretted last night. My heart kind of ached at that thought but I didn’t show it on my face.
He raised his eyebrow. “Really?” I nodded, hoping he’d just spill what was wrong before I go insane. “Weird-good or weird-bad?” he grinned at my startled expression.
I frowned as he grinned even wider. “Weird-weird!”
He chuckled. “Nothing’s wrong Arianna.” He smiled, looking right in my eyes. “Trust me.” he whispered and I did. I had never thought I’d find myself trusting Chase Lancaster but here I was staring back in his melting eyes, finding no reason not to trust him.
“Whatever you say…” I mumbled as he covered the distance between our faces.
“Good.” He breathed, resting his hands against the wall, capturing me in between. He smirked as I let out a slight gasp. His eyes gleamed playfully as he closed in and placed a short kiss at my cheek which burned immediately. I closed my eyes as he just played around my cheek and ear until he whispered. “I just want to be with you.”
I snapped open my eyes and he froze, right where he was. For moments it felt like no one was breathing. Did he just tell me he wanted to be with me? It sure did sound like that. And it sure did mean what it meant.
“I mean…” Chase pulled back, not looking at me. “…I just wanted to stick around with you… uh, that is if you… um, want… but I guess…”
“Chase.” I whispered, cutting his splutter. My face burned ferociously as he looked at me.
For moments we just looked at each other, totally lost at words. I forgot what I wanted to say. Maybe that yes I want you to stick with me or yes I want to be with you.
“I’ll leave you for a while.” He spoke after a while and smiled sheepishly. “I’ll see you later.” He gave me a quick peck on the cheek and left me standing there stunned and somehow… lost.
*Chase Lancaster*
I clenched my fist tightly, as I tried to control the urge to turn back and crush her against me; hold her tight and keep her with me. It took all my strength to avoid doing that.
I knew she’d notice if I tried staying with her all day. I just wanted to make sure Brandon Montgomery didn’t come near her. I couldn’t stand thinking of her with him now.
“You’re being selfish Chase.” I hissed; scolding myself.
So freaking what!?
Arianna and I shared something. Something that I had found serenity in. It wasn’t just physical with her anymore. I liked to stay with her, talk to her and just be there with her. I don’t know how, but she brought back in me something that I thought was gone.
How can I share her now? How can I see her thinking about anyone else?
Besides, I was always selfish. I was selfish enough to marry her when I knew she was there in Vegas with her boyfriend. I was selfish enough to delay our divorce just to keep her with me. I am being selfish because I want her now. I’m selfish because Arianna is my Wife…
So how can I let her go?
How will I ever let her go now?
“Urgh!” I grinded my teeth and took my face in the hands, rubbing my eyes.
Sometimes I wished I could just tell her what was going on with me. I wished I could order her to just be with me and no one else!
“Damn it Chase!” I cursed loudly and stood up. Thank god I decided to skip the class. The closed walls would’ve suffocated me with my wild thoughts already smothering me.
But the rooftop wasn’t doing any good either. The open air and bright sky made my hopeless hopes rise even higher. If only I could have everything my way. If only I could make her stay with me.
How the hell will I ever sign those goddamn divorce papers?
“Shit! Shit! Shit!” I yelled and gripped my hair tightly, aiming a wild kick at the yardarm. The pole gave a lazy vibrating shrug sending a nasty crushing pain all the way from my feet to the leg. “Damn it!” I yelled again in pain this time and dropped myself on the floor. I bit my tongue as hard as I could to stop myself from screaming again.
What the hell was I thinking?! I gritted my teeth and I pressed my foot hard letting the pain strike once and for all. It subsided eventually so that I could stand and walk; limply though.
I have to tell her before I go insane. I have to let her know… but how the hell am I going to do that!?
Hey Arianna, yeah I was just being possessive about you, so try not to hang around with Montgomery.
Yeah! As if!
Arianna, I was just thinking maybe we should stay together forever because I don’t want to let you go now.
Hell No!
I shrugged, inhaling the fresh cold air in my lungs. “Damn it Chase! Just do it. What could go worst?”
Brandon Montgomery. That was the worst I hadn’t thought about.
As I got down to the garden corner where I usually sat, I found Montgomery sitting right where I sit. Everything burned inside me instantly at the sight of him. I didn’t know why I feel so infuriated at him.
Maybe because Arianna liked him.
“You’re not going to kill me are you now?” he ridiculed watching my furious expressions with scathing laughter in his eyes.
“Maybe I will.” I clenched my fist. “If you don’t leave.”
“Do you own this place too Lancaster?” he mocked, smirking at my burnt expressions. “I was hoping we both could wait for Ari here, together. After all… we both want her… but the question is who does she wants…” his lips curled in a sly smirk.
“Hey!” I scowled at him. “That’s my wife you’re talking about!”
“And that’s my girl you married!” he jumped off from the table, standing right in front of me and snarled back.
Without thinking even for a second I launched myself at him, gripping his collar. “Aggressive are you now?” He glared right in my eyes smirking nastily. “Come on hurt me.” he challenged. “Go on do it. It’ll make it easy for her to choose between you or me.”
Grinding my teeth, I pushed him away. I didn’t want to hurt Arianna by hurting him. God! I was hopeless. I never thought I’d coil back for anyone. But she wasn’t anyone anymore. “I don’t need to fight you for that.” I smirked back, thought curtly.
His jaw clenched at my confidant tone. “Do you really think you can take her away from me like that? You think you can make her leave me for you?” He raised his eyebrow. I was sure I could sense threat in his voice.
“Actually I can.” I smirked watching his eyes narrowing, turning deadly.
“I’d love to see you try.” He gritted his teeth, losing all the calm and composure.
And I was having fun seeing him whine like that. “I don’t have to try Montgomery.”
His face changed the instant I smirked and the next moment he was on me. I didn’t push him away. I wanted him to see that I wasn’t going to let her go. I wanted him to admit his defeat.
He glared at me with the eyes that blazed with fire; breathing hissy. “You’ll see for yourself Lancaster!” he hissed, furiously. “She still loves me.”
My stomach turned and my fist clenched. I wanted to punch out his gut. But I maintained my composure which was as hard as cutting your own heart out. Why did it hurt to know she might want him? Why did it hurt to hear it from him that she might still love him?
“We’ll see.” I hissed back rather reluctantly.
Why did I care who she loved?
It’s not like I wanted her to love me… its not like I love her…
My heart leaped strangely –so strangely, almost achingly, it tortured my mind suffocating all my senses.
This can’t be…
“Between you and me Lancaster,” he threw me away and I couldn’t even control my balance. But I didn’t fall. I wasn’t the one to fall so easily… “…let’s settle this down once and for all, right here, right now.”
It was when he started rolling his sleeves up that I realized what he had said. “You want me to fight you?” I sounded dumb to myself.
He stretched his arm out, clicking his knuckled and smirked at me. “That is if you can handle it.”
***************
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