Chloe's Pov:
Family members and friends and people I didn't even know piled into the church. Zayn was greeting every one who walked through the door, shaking their hands and giving them a kiss on the cheek for the woman. I was sitting at the front of the church on the first aisle of seats. For family members and very close friends.
My black dress clung to my body as I breathed in and out. My hair hanging loosely over my shoulder's, with the ends curled. A pink cherry lip-gloss was painted over my lips. Making them look normal and not dehydrated like the rest of my body.
I was currently sitting on my own on what side of the church where everyone else was sitting on the other side, how nice of them. I guess they forgot I was also Trisha's child. But no, they all had to focus on the most famous boy in the family right now, Zayn. That's all I heard from the other side of the church, 'Oh, I feel sorry for Zayn' 'It must be so hard on Zayn he was her favourite after all'
Each sly comment they made, made me feel like a piece of shit. Like I was just invisible like air. You could say anything about me right in front of me and I wouldn't hear it, and it wouldn't hurt my feelings. Bitches. Every single one of them.
I didn't realize Zayn had sat down next to me till I felt his hand on my knee. Rubbing soothing sisters on my palm. "You alright sweetheart?" I wanted to scream every thought I ever thought of at him but decided against him. Shoving a smile on my own face to make it look like I'm okay.
Never. One word that describes me right now. Never will I ever be alright again. My life is a complete fuck hole. I don't even know why I live sometimes. I don't deserve to be treated the way I am, I know I'm not perfect and I know that I'm not the most popular family member but I still deserve to be treated the same as Zayn. Even though I wasn't born first does not mean I'm a pile of shit that everyone walks and trends in then has to go buy a new pair of shoes than realize that the shoes they just brought didn't match anything in their wardrobe so they have to go buy a whole new wardrobe and they blame it all on that pile of shit they stepped in; also known as me and they go and worship Zayn like they believe he is the only one that deserves sympathy. It makes me sick. Why should he get all the attention any way; I know that sounds wrong and deceitful but still why should he, I'm not an attention seeker like everyone else here. I'm a teenage girl who just lost her mum and my brother couldn't give a shit about me more other than the less anyway.
Zayn nodded his head and turned back his attention on Perrie who was sitting next to him. Louis and Eleanor were sitting behind us with Harry, Niall and Liam next to them. Eleanor gave me a warm smile and I gave her one back. Now that's what I'm talking about. Eleanor being 9 years older than me she is more of a mum to me than Perrie and Danielle who are more like sisters. Considering Danielle is the oldest out of the three of them. She couldn't make it today sadly. But she sent her wishes to me and Zayn, but she gave me a whole page in writing and then one sentence to Zayn. Haha justice is served like a bitch, isn't it?
Soon music began playing at the priest walked up to the front of the church where my mum's casket was laying. Her casket was a panelled oak coffin in pink, mum's favourite colour. White and red roses surrounded the casket each with a note attached to the stem from everyone here. Mine was short and simple because their was not a lot of room to write a really long paragraph knowing me it would be classed as a essay. It was 'cute' what I wrote according to the boys, "I will always love you mum, you may be gone but never forgotten, have fun up their above with dad, please day hi for me. I miss you so much mummy -Chloe XxxxX" yet again it sounded childish and cheesy like something everyone else would write.
The priest did his bit, me zoning out the entire time, soon I had Zayn nudging me to step up to the podium. Let's just put it this way I'm a people's person at all. I walked up to the podium my heels clicking against the floor as I did so. My hands trembled as they came in contact with the podium handle. I stepped up the two steps making me taller by a couple more inches. I reached into my hidden pocket in the dress disguised by the lace and pulled out the poem I had wrote for mum. The microphone was adjusted for me to speak into it probably and not have to jump each time I say a word or a sentence.
My head looked up at the crowd staring at me like they wanted to kill me. My eyes landed on a group of people in particular. The boys. They were staring at me intently, thinking things to themselves but looked like normal people watching something like they were doing now. My heart raced even further by the minute and I felt like it was going to explode in my chest.
I finally plucked up the courage to start reading the poem out loud and stop standing there like an complete idiot.
Mom its only been a couple of days now since
God and His Angels called you away.
Oh how the Angels rejoiced as you walked
Through those Pearly Gates that day!
Mom when they said you were gone
I refused to believe it could be true.
How could I allow myself to even
Imagine saying goodbye to you.
Mom you were an Angel here on earth
I learned so very much from you.
You were so gentle and so kind your
Smile would always see me through.
You taught me how to love unconditionally
And how to be my very best in all I do.
You gave your all to God and your family
Never once stopping to think about you.
You were more than a mother you were my
Best friend and a great listener too.
Oh how I miss our special talks, and
All the fun things we used to do.
Mom I can never say goodbye to you,
Because I could never bear the pain.
Instead I say I love you Mom
Until we meet again.
I looked up again one final time looking for approval from anyone in the crowd, Eleanor and Perrie gave me an encouraging smile and I let the final words flow straight out of my mouth. "I love you" everyone clapped at the end of my poem and I came down and away from the podium. I went back to my seat and sat down only earning smiles from El and Pez the boys not giving a flying fucking toss. Typical. I mentally rolled my eyes in my head and watched as the ceremony continued on and on.
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As my mothers casket was slowly released into the ground so many memories of her and me brought tears to my eyes. I quickly blinked them away, I would rather cry in private at home then here in front of my mum. The boys had stayed a long distance away from me since earlier on, and I don't know why.
Surely you would be comforting the thirteen year old that just lost her mother and no longer has any parents left. And her family couldn't give a shit about her because she was the mistake. The one that shouldn't of been born, the one that didn't deserve the gift of life as they used to say...and still do sometimes.
Before I knew it the ceremony was over and it was time to go home. The boys had fucked off and I was the only one standing there now. I looked around and soon spotted Paul standing by a car waiting for me I guess. I walked over to Paul and got inside the car not saying a word.
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I woke up in my bed, in different clothes to what I last remembered. Loud laughter came from downstairs and music blaring at. You could hear it outside. As birds were tweeting loudly not used to the loud noise echoing around their environment.
My bear feet hit the floor as I stood up and walked downstairs. The stairs creaked as I took one step at a time and finally arrived at the bottom. The music became louder and louder, soon the music took over my brain and thoughts I couldn't hear myself think any more.
"CAN YOU PLEASE TURN DOWN THE FUCKING MUSIC" I shouted trying to get at least one of the boys to notice. "Hey Chloe" I turned around and saw Niall standing there with a beer bottle in his hand, obviously near enough drunk. "Why weren't you at the party?" Niall slurred a little.
Party. What party? I never got told about a party, and there was probably not even a reason behind it. Oh wait, maybe someone may have forgotten to tell me or wait they had different things to do than rather invite a waste of space to a party probably celebrating my own mother's life cause If I showed up then the party would be a disaster.
"What party?" I asked curiously. Niall was about to speak before he got hit round the head by Zayn. Niall gave Zayn an apologetic look and walked off into the kitchen. Leaving me and my bitch of a brother alone. "What party?" I asked once again, hoping to get an answer.
"Nothing for you too worry about Chloe" Zayn spat at me before walking off. Oh, how nice of you my dear, sweet, humble, brother. Not.
I sighed and went back upstairs at least hoping to get some sleep...
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HEYA, Sorry I couldn't update yesterday, my mum had a massive go at me for doing something I'm not going to tell you cause it will take to long to write and explain and it will probably bore you to death with the story. So yeah, my computer and phone got taken away. :(
But now there back YAY! There is going to be spanking in the next question and I might do a double update on Thursday if I get to 60 FANS and a lot of drama is coming up so yh. :)
DEDICATED TO @RokanNadir as she was the first to comment. If you want the next DEDICATION comment your answer to this question;
"What do you think is going to happen next in the story?"
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--Obsessed1DFan