"Stay still Tess." Hardin instructs.
"I can't." I mewl as he softly bites my inner thigh.
There is no way that I can stay still. He chuckles and if my brain was connected to the rest of my body right now, I would roll my eyes at him.
"Do you want to do this here or would you like to watch?" He asks and my stomach flutters.
The pressure continues to build between my legs and I attempt to squeeze them together to get some relief.
"No, no, baby. Not yet." He is torturing me. He pushes my thighs apart and puts more of his weight on me to keep them separated.
"Here." I finally answer, I had almost forgotten he asked a question.
"Thought so." He smirks.
He is so cocky but his words do things to me that I never thought possible. I can't get enough of him, even when he has me pinned to the bed with my legs spread open and we are planning to do something I had never considered doing before.
"I had thought about doing this before but I was too selfish. I wanted to be the only one to make you feel this way." He leans down and swipes his tongue only inches from the thin indent pushed into my skin from my panties that now lay on the floor.
My legs involuntarily try to stiffen but he doesn't allow it.
"Now since I know exactly how you like to be touched this will not take long."
"Why do you want to?" I squeak when he bites down on my skin again, then licks the sensitive skin.
"What?" He looks up at me.
"Why do you want to show me if you want to be the only one?" My voice is thick and shaky.
"Because as much as I want to be the only one to be able to get you off, the thought of you doing it to yourself, in front of me.. just, fuck." He breathes.
Oh. I need relief and soon, I hope he doesn't plan to torture me long.
"Besides, you can be a little uptight sometimes and maybe this is just what you need." He smiles and I try to hide my face in embarrassment.
If we weren't doing.. this.. I would say something back about him calling me uptight but he is right and like he said earlier, I am otherwise occupied.
"Here.. this is where you start." He suprises me by placing his cold fingers against me. A hiss escapes my lips from his cold touch.
"Cold?" He asks and I nod.
"Sorry." He chuckles and slides his fingers inside of me without warning.
My hips buck off of the bed and I clamp my hand over my mouth to silence myself.
"I just need to get them nice and warm." He smirks and moves them slowly in and out before removing them, making me feel empty and desperate.
He places them back where they previously were and I bite down on my lip.
"Now don't go and do that or we won't be able to finish your lesson." He says referring to my lip between my teeth.
I can hear the smirk in his voice but I don't look at him.
Instead I decide to swipe my tongue across my bottom lip and bite down again.
"You are very testy today, not a very good student." He teases.
Even while teasing he drives me crazy, how is it possible to be so seductive without even trying? This is surely something that only Hardin has mastered.
"Give me your hand Tess." He instructs.
I don't move, I feel the embarrassment pooling in my cheeks and feel his hand grip mine and he brings my hand and his down my stomach and between my legs.
"If you don't want to do it you don't have to but I think you will like it." Hardin says softly.
I lift my head up slightly to look at him. I want to, sort of. Well I do want to but the whole process seems humiliating. Isn't this supposed to be a private thing? Nothing is really private between Hardin and I and hasn't ever been but this is just so intimate.
"I do." I decide.
"You're sure?"
"Yeah, I am just... nervous." I admit.
I feel much more comfortable with Hardin than anyone in my entire life and I know he won't do anything to make me uncomfortable, not in a malicious way at least. I am just overthinking this, people do it all the time. Right?
"Don't be. You'll like it." He bites down on the corner of his mouth and I smile nervously.
"Don't worry, if you can't get yourself off I will do it for you." He shrugs.
"Hardin!" I groan in embarrassment and plop my head back down on the pillow.
I hear him laugh lightly before he clasps his hands around mine again.
"Like this." He says and presses his hand against mine to spread my fingers.
My heart beat increases dramatically as he brings my hand ..there. It feels so strange. Foreign and just strange. I am so used to the way Hardin's hands feel on me, the way his fingers are rough and callused, not soft and smooth, the way they are long and slender, the way they know exactly how to touch me, how to..
"Just do this." Hardin's voice is thick with lust as he guides my fingers to the most sensitive spot.
I jam trying not to think about what we are doing.. what I am doing.
"How does it feel?" Hardin asks.
"I.. don't know." I mutter.
"Yes you do. Tell me, Tess." He half demands and removes his hand from over mine.
I whimper at the loss of contact and begin to remove my hand.
"No, keep it there." His tone makes me snap my hand back to his previous spot.
"Continue." He command lightly.
I gulp and close my eyes, trying to repeat what Hardin was doing. It doesn't feel nearly as good as when he does it but it most certainly doesn't feel bad either. The pressure in my lower stomach begins to build again and I screw my eyes shut, trying to pretend that it is Hardin's fingers that are making me feel this way instead of my own.
"You look so hot touching yourself in front of me." Hardin says and I can't help but moan and continue to trace the pattern that Hardin has shown me with my fingers.
When I open my eyes slightly, I see Hardin's hand palming over his jeans. Oh my god. Why is this so hot? This is something I thought people only did in naughty films, not real life. Hardin makes everything so hot, no matter how strange it is. His eyes are focused between my legs and his teeth are digging into his bottom lip.
The second I feel he may catch me looking at him I snap my eyes shut and I shut off my subconscious. This is a normal and natural thing, everyone does it.. just not everyone has someone watching them but if they had Hardin they surely would.
"Such a good girl for me, always." Hardin says into my ear, nipping at my earlobe. His breath is hot and smells of mint and it makes me want to scream and melt into the sheets at the same time.
"Do it too." I breath, barely recognizing my voice.
"What?"
"Do what I am doing.." I say, not wanting to use the word.
"You want that?" He sounds surprised.
"Yes, please Hardin." I am getting so close and I need this, I need to take some of the focus off of me and honestly seeing his hand rubbing over the fabric of his jeans did wicked things to me and I want to see him do it again, and more.
"Okay." He simply answers. Hardin is so confident when it comes to sex, I wish I was the same way.
I hear the zipper of his jeans and I try to slow down the movements of my fingers, if I don't this will be over very, very soon.
"Open your eyes, Tess." He demands and I oblige.
His hand wraps around his length and my eyes go wide at the perfect sight next to me as I watch Hardin do something I never thought I would see anyone do.
He leans his head down again, this time he plants a single kiss on my neck before bringing his mouth back to my ear.
"You like this don't you? You like to watch me pleasure myself, you are so dirty Tess, so fucking dirty." My eyes never leave his hand between his legs. His hand moves faster as he continues talking to me.
"I am not going to last long watching you baby, you have no idea how fucking hot this is." He groans and I do the same.
I love the way he talks to me and even more so right now, I no longer feel uncomfortable. I am close, so close, and I want Hardin to be close too.
"It feels so good, Hardin." I moan, not caring how stupid or desperate I sound. It's the truth and he makes me feel like it's okay to feel this way.
"Fuck. Say something else." He grits out.
"I want you to come Hardin, just picture my mouth around you.." the filthy words tumble from my lips and I feel the warmth from him finishing as it hits my flaming skin. That does it for me and I come undone from my own doing and close my eyes as I repeat his name over and over.
When I open my eyes Hardin is leaning up on his elbow next to me and I instantly bury my face in his neck.
"How was it?" He asks, wrapping his arms around my waist to pull me close to him.
"I don't know.." I lie.
"Don't be shy, I know you liked it. So did I." He kisses the top of my head and I look up at him.
"I did, but I still like it better when you do it." I admit and he smiles.
"Well I would hope so." He says and I lift my head up to plant a kiss over the indent of his dimple.
"There are a lot of things I can show you." He adds and I flush again.
"One step at a time." He assures me.
My imagination runs wild at the thoughts of all the things Hardin could show me, there are probably so many things I have never even heard of that he has done and for some reason, I want to learn them all.
"Let's get you a shower since you were my star pupil." He breaks the silence.
"You mean your only pupil?" I lower my eyes at him.
"Yeah, of course. Maybe I should teach Landon next, he needs it just as bad as you." He teases and moves to climb off the bed.
"Hardin!" I shriek and he laughs, a real laugh and it is such a beautiful sound.
When my alarm goes off early Monday morning, I fly out of bed the moment my alarm rings. Hardin groans and tries to wrap his arm around my waist to keep me in bed but I wiggle from his grasp and head to the bathroom to take a shower. The water gives me energy and my thoughts begin to travel back to my first semester at WSU. I had no idea what to expect but at the same time I felt very prepared, I had every detail down. I thought I would make a few friends and focus on extra circulars, maybe join the literary club and a few more. I would spend my time in my dorm or at the library studying and preparing for my future. Little did I know I would be living in an apartment with my boyfriend who is not Noah. I had no idea what was coming when my mother pulled into the parking lot at WSU, even when I met the rude boy with the curly hair I never imagined what was to come for him and I. I wouldn't have believed it if someone told me and now I can't imagine my life without that rude boy. Butterflies begin to dance in my stomach as I remember the way it felt to catch a glimpse of him on campus, to try to glance around the room to look for him in Literature, the way I would catch him looking at me while the professor was speaking, the way he would eavesdrop on Landon and I. Those days seem so long ago, ancient really.
I am startled from my nostalgic thoughts as the shower curtain is pulled back to reveal a shirtless Hardin. His hair messy and falling down his forehead, as he rubs his eyes.
"What are you doing in here? Practicing what I taught you yesterday?" He smiles, his voice is thick from sleep and drawn even slower.
"No!" I squeak, flushing as the image of Hardin coming by his own hand floods my mind.
"Sure babe." He chuckles.
"I wasn't! I was just thinking." I admit.
"About what?" He sits down on the toilet and I close the curtain back.
"Just about before.."
"Before what?" He tone full of worry.
"The first day of college and how you were so rude." I tease.
"Rude? I didn't even speak to you." He defends.
"Exactly." I laugh.
"You were so annoying with your dreadful skirt and your loafer wearing boyfriend. Your mum's face was priceless when she saw us." I know he is rolling his eyes despite the curtain blocking my view of him.
My chest tenses at the mention of my mother, I miss her but I refuse to take the blame for her mistakes. When she is ready to stop judging Hardin and I then I will talk to her but if she doesn't do that then she doesn't deserve my time.
My poor mother has no idea that the worry she felt for me that day would turn out to be her worst nightmare, the worst possibility for her "perfect" daughter. It's ironic and I find it quite humorous. I don't want to think about her anymore, not right now at least. I have a busy day and that will add to my stress.
"You were annoying with your.. well.. your attitude." I can't think of what to say because he didn't speak to me the first time I met him.
"Remember the second time I saw you? You were in a towel and you were carrying those wet clothes."
"Yes, and you said you wouldn't look at me." I recall.
"I lied. I was certainly looking at you."
"It seems so long ago doesn't it?" I ask.
"Yes, very long ago. It doesn't seem like those things actually happened, now it seems like it's always been us, you know what I mean?"
"I do actually." It's true, it is odd to think about Noah being my boyfriend then instead of Hardin. It doesn't sit right. I care for Noah so much but him and I wasted years of our lives dating one another.
I turn off the shower and push Noah to the back of my mind.
"Can you.." I begin to ask but before I finish Hardin tosses a towel over the top of the curtain.
"Thanks." I say while wrapping the cloth around my wet body.
Hardin follows me into our bedroom and I get dressed as fast as possible while he lays on his stomach on our bed, his eyes never leaving me.
I towel dry my hair and apply my makeup before putting my white dress on.
"You are wearing that? To class?" Hardin asks as I pull it off the hanger.
"Yeah, I want to look nice." I shrug. It is my favorite dress, and I thought it was his.
"I don't know if that is.. appropriate."
"Why not? I wear it to Vance all the time."
"Yeah, I know but it's just college. Couldn't you wear jeans? Or maybe one of your old skirts?" He suggests.
"You hate those skirts."
"No.. I don't hate them. I am actually very fond of them." He lies.
"What is this about? This dress isn't revealing or anything." I slide the silky material over my head and tug the bottom to adjust it.
"I know. I just.. I don't know, I think you may look weird." He says. Ouch.
"Look weird? I thought you liked this dress?" I stare into the mirror, my confidence deflating by the second.
"I do."
"So why shouldn't I wear it?" I debate whether or not to take it off or not.
"I didn't mean it like that.. I just mean.. I don't know, maybe you should be a tad more casual. You don't want to draw so much attention to yourself."
"I am wearing the dress." I stand my ground now that I know he is just being jealous.
"Fine." He huffs and I grab my tallest heels just to annoy him. Childish yes, but he is acting like a caveman.
"I am driving you." He says and climbs off of the bed to get himself dressed.
"We already had that established remember? We would ride together Monday, Wednesday, and Friday since I will only be at Vance Tuesday and Thursday." I remind him.
"Shut up Tess." He shakes his head playfully and I smile a mock innocent smile before heading back into the living room.
I decide to wear my hair straight for once and I actually sort of like it. I like it better when it is curled but it looks nice this way too. After I apply light makeup I grab my bag and take another look inside to make sure everything I need is inside before meeting Hardin by the front door. Hardin carries my tennis shoes for yoga class and I carry my bag full of everything else that I could possibly need.
The twenty minute car ride is silent for the first few minutes as I defrost from the winter air and text Landon to make sure he will be meeting me at the coffee house at eight.
"Go ahead." Hardin says when he pulls onto the freeway.
"What?" I turn to look at him.
"Go ahead and spaz." He sighs and rests his hand on my thigh.
I smile at him and tell him my plan for the day for the tenth time in twenty four hours. As he pretends to listen carefully, I promise him and myself I will be much more relaxed tomorrow.